Culture
How MLB players cope with — and grow from — playing on a terrible team: ‘You find ways’
CHICAGO — A mere mention of the year 1991 elicited a pained groan from Sandy Alomar Jr. as he leaned against a railing in the Cleveland Guardians’ dugout.
Three decades have passed. Alomar played for seven teams across 20 seasons, appeared in 49 playoff games, won an All-Star Game MVP award and supplied a slew of unforgettable moments in a big-league uniform. He has coached for a consistent contender in Cleveland for 15 years.
And yet, he still can’t shake memories of that miserable ’91 season. That’s what losing can do — not the sort of losing that leaves players, coaches and fanbases disgruntled, but the degree of losing that beats the soul out of someone who can’t escape it.
“It hits you in the face every day,” said Cleveland pitcher Alex Cobb, a member of the 115-loss Baltimore Orioles of 2018. “Wake up, do it again. Wake up, do it again.”
Scanning the dugout of the historically inept Chicago White Sox during an early-September series at a mostly empty Guaranteed Rate Field triggered some flashbacks for Cobb.
He signed with the Orioles in late March 2018 and played catch-up for much of the year. By the time Cobb felt like himself, the Orioles were 40 games out of first place and he still had another dozen starts to make. He focused on sharpening his mechanics for the next season.
“You’re just trying to get through the day,” Cobb said. “You find ways.”
Of course, no one’s going to pity a big-leaguer who earns a seven-figure salary, enjoys ample leg room on charter flights, gorges on infinite servings of red meat at Brazilian steakhouses on road trip off days and throws a ball around for a couple of hours every five days.
“I don’t recall anyone feeling sorry for us,” said Orioles outfielder Cedric Mullins, who blossomed in 2021, when Baltimore lost 110 games. “In fact, it felt like it was blood in the water at that point.”
Still, it takes a mental toll on those completing nine fruitless innings night after night. No one knows it better than the White Sox, who broke the 1962 New York Mets’ record of 120 losses on Friday. Chicago was eliminated from playoff contention in mid-August. They sit more than 40 games out of fourth place in their division, a situation so bleak it’d test anyone’s drive.
GO DEEPER
Where do the Chicago White Sox rank among the worst teams in any sport?
“It’s definitely challenging to stay locked in and motivated,” said Ryan O’Hearn, a member of a pair of Royals teams that lost more than 100 games.
In 2021, Mullins became the first player since the franchise moved to Baltimore in 1954 to tally 30 homers and 30 stolen bases in a season. But he admits “it just wasn’t as fun” because the team was dreadful. His production dipped over the past three seasons, but he said he has enjoyed the experiences more.
“It’s funny,” he said, “when we go through stints like (the club’s recent funk), it feels like we’re losing. And I’m like, ‘You all have no idea.’”
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Baltimore outfielder Cedric Mullins was a lone bright spot for the 2021 Orioles, who lost 110 games. (Rich Schultz / Getty Images)
When Torey Lovullo steered the Arizona Diamondbacks through a 52-110 season in 2021, his 25-minute commutes home from Chase Field were “dark.” He would sing along to Supertramp or Led Zeppelin to decompress and distract himself from whatever daunting matchup awaited his club the following day.
“I tried to go home and just be present at home,” Lovullo said, “and that became harder and harder throughout the course of the season.”
Several players said they would linger at home longer before heading to the ballpark, preferring not to spend an extra nanosecond in the monotonous misery.
“It can feel like a project to get to the stadium itself,” said Cincinnati Reds reliever Buck Farmer.
Farmer led the 2019 Detroit Tigers in appearances, with 73. The Tigers were 29-44 when he pitched and 18-70 when he didn’t.
“We lost a lot,” he said. “In my entire tenure there, we lost a lot.”
One hundred and fourteen games in 2019, to be precise. Enough to draw comparisons to the 2003 Tigers, who rallied during the final week of the season to avoid joining the ’62 Mets in the pantheon of futility.
GO DEEPER
How the White Sox went from first in the AL Central to worst of all time in 3 short years
“September was really hard,” said Matthew Boyd, who made a team-high 32 starts for the 2019 Tigers.
Both ex-Tigers pitchers, however, agreed there’s not much difference between 114 losses and, say, 98, the number of games Detroit dropped the previous two years.
“It’s all hard,” Boyd said.
“Either way sucks,” Farmer said. “Either way you draw it up, not having a winning season is tough. It sucks to lose.”
The clubhouse culture “can dictate how much that sucks,” Farmer said. In 2019, for instance, “it was like showing up for a 9-to-5, which sucks.” Sensing a theme here, or at least noticing a particular word that encapsulates the effects of perpetual losing on the psyche?
“It could have been a lot better,” said catcher Jake Rogers, another member of the 2019 Tigers. “It’s like the (2024) White Sox. You get to a point where everyone is like, ‘We’ve lost how many?’ That part sucks sometimes, but we weren’t thinking that (in) the moment. But you look back at it and it’s like, ‘Man, 114 is a lot.’”
In 2022, the Reds started the season 3-22, but Farmer insists no one would know based on the energy in the clubhouse. That can depend on the composition of the roster. When winning proves impractical, team goals tend to slip down players’ priority lists.
“I will never be OK with losing,” said Los Angeles Dodgers infielder Miguel Rojas.
Late in the Miami Marlins’ march to 105 losses in 2019, the players held a meeting after a series in Arizona. Rojas asked his teammates “to look themselves in the mirror and look up (other) rosters (to determine) how many more teams you could play for today,” a method of motivation he said he was taught when he broke into the big leagues.
“Being eliminated a month before the season’s over,” Rojas said, “it’s hard, because the fans feed off that, too. … It’s really hard to ask people to come to the ballpark. So it’s really hard to come to the ballpark every day. It’s really low-energy. You’re finding your own motivation to play the game. But you have to be professional. You have to show up every single day because you’re getting paid.”
“Everybody’s in a certain spot in their career,” Cobb said. “If you’re going to arbitration, you’re trying to fluff as many numbers or trying to prevent bad numbers from happening. If you’re older, you’re on a contract, you’re probably just trying not to get hurt, trying to work on stuff for the next year.”
And if you’re new to the major leagues?
“On a team like that, there are a lot of guys who are super excited to be here,” Cobb said. “You don’t get to ruin that for anyone. You don’t get to take other peoples’ joy away from being in the locker room.”
As the 2018 trade deadline approached, the Orioles dealt away Manny Machado, Zack Britton, Kevin Gausman, Darren O’Day, Jonathan Schoop and Brad Brach. In the second half, Cobb looked around the room and wondered who everyone was. He said the influx of young players ultimately “helped the mood.”
That youthful exuberance can help to dispel feelings of nihilism. As Cobb described, “You’re putting the X over the days on the calendar, just trying to get through it.”
“It’s hard to find those bright spots,” Mullins said. “And those bright spots aren’t going to be looked at too often, just because (of) the team. You want to see the team perform. Individuals can’t do that on their own.”
Outfielder Austin Hays, like Mullins, broke out for the Orioles in 2021.
“You really have to dig into why you’re playing when you’re down 8-0 in the third inning,” said Hays, who credited the birth of his son for giving him proper perspective.
During a 102-loss season with the Oakland Athletics in 2022, catcher Stephen Vogt — now the Guardians’ manager — would encourage veteran players to be “an extension of the coaching staff,” said pitcher Cole Irvin. Vogt would engage the team’s young players about pitchers’ tendencies or reading hitters’ swings.
The most reassuring reminder Vogt provided?
“You’re what the 12-year-old version of yourself wanted to be,” Irvin said.
That 12-year-old self couldn’t wait to get to the field, no matter the team’s results of the previous day or week or month.
“It’s really hard,” Boyd said, “but it’s a balancing act. You have to have awareness. You’re going to fall out of line, and when you do, you have to give yourself grace to gently get back in.”
Those trudges to the finish line can be scarring, though.
As Alomar shook his head, reflecting on that 105-loss Cleveland season in 1991, his former teammate, Carlos Baerga, approached. Alomar stopped him and mentioned the infamous year. Baerga shouted like he was suffering from appendicitis and then recalled the most valuable bit of advice he received in his career. Hitting instructor Jose Morales told him: “Don’t get used to losing, because when you get used to losing, you get lazy.”
Alomar and Baerga came up together with the Padres and won minor-league championships in two of their final three years in the farm system. Then they were shipped to Cleveland, where the Indians lost so much they became a baseball punchline and played in front of small gatherings in a cavernous dungeon on the shores of Lake Erie.
They never sunk lower than in 1991. Cleveland went four decades without a playoff appearance after a trip to the World Series in 1954, but no iteration of the Indians lost more than that ’91 team did.
Alomar tore his groin partially off his pubic bone, which ended his season in late July when the club was sitting at 33-63. He still showed up to the ballpark every day, like a wounded animal slogging toward the slaughterhouse. All he needed to see in the opposing dugout were a few veteran players, and he knew.
“They’re probably gonna kick our butt,” Alomar said.
— The Athletic’s Sam Blum, Chad Jennings, C. Trent Rosecrans and Cody Stavenhagen contributed to this reporting.
(Top illustration: Meech Robinson / The Athletic; Photo of Torey Lovullo: Steph Chambers / Getty Images; Alex Cobb: Rick Madonik / Toronto Star via Getty Images; Luis Robert Jr.: Thearon W. Henderson / Getty Images; Sandy Alomar Jr.: Focus on Sport / Getty Images; Miguel Rojas: Mitchell Layton / Getty Images)
Culture
Poetry Challenge Day 2: Love, How It Works and What It Means
Maybe you woke up this morning haunted by the first four lines of W.H. Auden’s “The More Loving One” — or tickled by its tongue-in-cheek handling of existential dread. (Not ringing any bells? Click here to begin the Poetry Challenge).
This is a love poem. Perhaps that seems like an obvious thing to say about a poem with “Loving” in its title, but there isn’t much romance in the opening stanza.
Looking up at the stars, I know quite well
That, for all they care, I can go to hell,
But on earth indifference is the least
We have to dread from man or beast.
Ada Limón, poet
Nonetheless, the poem soon makes clear that love is very much on its mind.
How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
David Sedaris, writer
The polished informality gives the impression of a decidedly cerebral speaker — someone who’s looking at love philosophically, thinking about how it works and what it means.
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.
Reginald Dwayne Betts, poet
Musing this way — arguing in this fashion — he stands in a long line of playful, thoughtful poetic lovers going back at least to the 16th century. He sounds a bit like Christopher Marlowe’s passionate shepherd:
Come live with me and be my love,
And we will all the pleasures prove,
That Valleys, groves, hills, and fields,
Woods, or steepy mountain yields.
Auden’s poem, like Marlowe’s, is written in four-beat lines:
How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
Josh Radnor, actor
And it features strong end rhymes:
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.
Samantha Harvey, writer
These tetrameter couplets represent a long-established poetic love language. Not too serious or sappy, but with room for both earnestness and whimsy. And even for professions of the opposite of love, as in this nursery rhyme, adapted from a 17th-century epigram:
I do not like thee, Doctor Fell
The reason why I cannot tell.
But this I know and know full well
I do not like thee, Doctor Fell.
There is some of this anti-love spirit in Auden’s poem too, but it mainly follows a general rule of love poetry: The person speaking is usually the more loving one.
This makes sense. To write a poem requires effort, art, inspiration. To speak in verse is to tease, to cajole, to seduce, all actions that suggest an excess of desire. That’s why it’s conventional to refer to the “I” in a poem like this as the Lover and the “you” as the Beloved. The line “Let the more loving one be me” could summarize a lot of the love poetry of the last few thousand years.
But who, in this case, is the beloved? This isn’t a poem to the stars, but about them. Or maybe a poem that uses the stars as a conceit and our complicated feelings about them as a screen for other difficult emotions.
What the stars have to do with love is a tricky question. The answer may just be that the poem assumes a relationship and then plays with the implications of its assumption.
This kind of play also has a long history. Since love is both abstract and susceptible to cliché, poets are eager to liken it to everything else under the sun: birds, bees, planets, stars, the movement of the tides and the cycle of the seasons. Andrew Marvell’s “Definition of Love,” from the 1600s, wraps its ardor in math:
As lines, so loves oblique may well
Themselves in every angle greet;
But ours so truly parallel,
Though infinite, can never meet.
The literary term for this is wit. The formidable 18th-century English wordsmith Samuel Johnson defined a type of wit as “a combination of dissimilar images, or discovery of occult resemblances in things apparently unlike.” “The most heterogeneous ideas are yoked by violence together,” he wrote; that kind of conceptual discord defines “The More Loving One.”
The second stanza is, when you think about it, a perfect non sequitur. A hypothetical, general question is asked:
How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
Mary Roach, writer
The answer is a personal declaration that is moving because it doesn’t seem to apply only or primarily to stars:
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.
Tim Egan, writer
Does this disjunction make it easier or harder to remember? Either way, these couplets start to reveal just how curious this poem is. We might find ourselves curious about who wrote them, and whom he might have loved. Tomorrow we’ll get to know Auden and his work a little better.
Play a game to learn it by heart. Need more practice? Listen to Ada Limón, Matthew McConaughey, W.H. Auden and others recite our poem.
Question 1/6
How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
Tap a word above to fill in the highlighted blank.
Your task today: Learn the second stanza!
Let’s start with the first couplet in this stanza. Fill in the rhyming words.
Ready for another round? Try your hand at the 2025 Poetry Challenge.
Edited by Gregory Cowles, Alicia DeSantis and Nick Donofrio. Additional editing by Emily Eakin,
Joumana Khatib, Emma Lumeij and Miguel Salazar. Design and development by Umi Syam. Additional
game design by Eden Weingart. Video editing by Meg Felling. Photo editing by Erica Ackerberg.
Illustration art direction by Tala Safie.
Illustrations by Daniel Barreto.
Text and audio recording of “The More Loving One,” by W.H. Auden, copyright © by the Estate of
W.H. Auden. Reprinted by permission of Curtis Brown, Ltd. Photograph accompanying Auden recording
from Imagno/Getty Images.
Culture
What America’s Main Characters Tell Us
Literature
Oedipa Maas from ‘The Crying of Lot 49’ (1966) by Thomas Pynchon
“The unforgettable, cartoonish protagonist of this unusually short novel is a California housewife accidentally turned private investigator and literary interpreter, and the mystery she’s attempting to solve — or, more specifically, the conspiracy she stumbles upon — is nothing less than capitalism itself,” says Ngai, 54. “As Oedipa traces connections between various crackpots, the novel highlights the peculiarly asocial sociality of postwar U.S. society, which gets figured as a network of alienations.”
Sula Peace from ‘Sula’ (1973) by Toni Morrison
“Sula arguably begins to disappear as soon as she’s introduced — despite the fact that the novel bears her name. Other characters die quickly, or are noticeably flat. This raises the politically charged question of who gets to ‘develop’ or be a protagonist in American novels and who doesn’t. The novel’s unusual character system is part of its meditation on anti-Black racism and historical violence.”
The speaker of ‘Lunch Poems’ (1964) by Frank O’Hara
“Lyric poems are fundamentally different from narrative fiction in part because they have speakers as opposed to narrators. Perhaps it’s a stretch to nominate the speaker of ‘Lunch Poems’ as a main character, but this book changed things by highlighting the centrality of queer counterpublics to U.S. culture as a whole, and by exploring the joys and risks of everyday intimacy with strangers therein.”
This interview has been edited and condensed.
More in Literature
See the rest of the issue
Culture
Poetry Challenge: Memorize “The More Loving One” by W.H. Auden
Let’s memorize a poem! Not because it’s good for us or because we think we should, but because it’s fun, a mental challenge with a solid aesthetic reward. You can amuse yourself, impress your friends and maybe discover that your way of thinking about the world — or even, as you’ll see, the universe — has shifted a bit.
Over the next five days, we’ll look closely at a great poem by one of our favorite poets, and we’ll have games, readings and lots of encouragement to help you learn it by heart. Some of you know how this works: Last year more Times readers than we could count memorized a jaunty 18-line recap of an all-night ferry ride. (If you missed that adventure, it’s not too late to embark. The ticket is still valid.)
This time, we’re training our telescopes on W.H. Auden’s “The More Loving One” — a clever, compact meditation on love, disappointment and the night sky.
Here’s the first of its four stanzas, read for us by Matthew McConaughey:
The More Loving One
Looking up at the stars, I know quite well
That, for all they care, I can go to hell,
But on earth indifference is the least
We have to dread from man or beast.
Matthew McConaughey, actor and poet
In four short lines we get a brisk, cynical tour of the universe: hell and the heavens, people and animals, coldness and cruelty. Commonplace observations — that the stars are distant; that life can be dangerous — are wound into a charming, provocative insight. The tone is conversational, mixing decorum and mild profanity in a manner that makes it a pleasure to keep reading.
Here’s Tracy K. Smith, a former U.S. poet laureate, with the second stanza:
How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.
Tracy K. Smith, poet
These lines abruptly shift the focus from astronomy to love, from the universal to the personal. Imagine how it would feel if the stars had massive, unrequited crushes on us! The speaker, couching his skepticism in a coy, hypothetical question, seems certain that we wouldn’t like this at all.
This certainty leads him to a remarkable confession, a moment of startling vulnerability. The poem’s title, “The More Loving One,” is restated with sweet, disarming frankness. Our friend is wearing his heart on his well-tailored sleeve.
The poem could end right there: two stanzas, point and counterpoint, about how we appreciate the stars in spite of their indifference because we would rather love than be loved.
But the third stanza takes it all back. Here’s Alison Bechdel reading it:
Admirer as I think I am
Of stars that do not give a damn,
I cannot, now I see them, say
I missed one terribly all day.
Alison Bechdel, graphic novelist
The speaker downgrades his foolish devotion to qualified admiration. No sooner has he established himself as “the more loving one” than he gives us — and perhaps himself — reason to doubt his ardor. He likes the stars fine, he guesses, but not so much as to think about them when they aren’t around.
The fourth and final stanza, read by Yiyun Li, takes this disenchantment even further:
Were all stars to disappear or die,
I should learn to look at an empty sky
And feel its total dark sublime,
Though this might take me a little time.
Yiyun Li, author
Wounded defiance gives way to a more rueful, resigned state of mind. If the universe were to snuff out its lights entirely, the speaker reckons he would find beauty in the void. A starless sky would make him just as happy.
Though perhaps, like so many spurned lovers before and after, he protests a little too much. Every fan of popular music knows that a song about how you don’t care that your baby left you is usually saying the opposite.
The last line puts a brave face on heartbreak.
So there you have it. In just 16 lines, this poem manages to be somber and funny, transparent and elusive. But there’s more to it than that. There is, for one thing, a voice — a thinking, feeling person behind those lines.
When he wrote “The More Loving One,” in the 1950s, Wystan Hugh Auden was among the most beloved writers in the English-speaking world. Before this week is over there will be more to say about Auden, but like most poets he would have preferred that we give our primary attention to the poem.
Its structure is straightforward and ingenious. Each of the four stanzas is virtually a poem unto itself — a complete thought expressed in one or two sentences tied up in a neat pair of couplets. Every quatrain is a concise, witty observation: what literary scholars call an epigram.
This makes the work of memorization seem less daunting. We can take “The More Loving One” one epigram at a time, marvelling at how the four add up to something stranger, deeper and more complex than might first appear.
So let’s go back to the beginning and try to memorize that insouciant, knowing first stanza. Below you’ll find a game we made to get you started. Give it a shot, and come back tomorrow for more!
Play a game to learn it by heart. Need more practice? Listen to Ada Limón, Matthew McConaughey, W.H. Auden and others recite our poem.
Question 1/6
Looking up at the stars, I know quite well That, for all they care, I can go to hell,
Tap a word above to fill in the highlighted blank.
Your first task: Learn the first four lines!
Let’s start with the first couplet. Fill in the rhyming words.
Monday
Love, the cosmos and everything in between, all in 16 lines.
Tuesday (Available tomorrow)
What’s love got to do with it?
Wednesday (Available April 22)
How to write about love? Be a little heartsick (and the best poet of your time).
Thursday (Available April 23)
Are we alone in the universe? Does it matter?
Friday (Available April 24)
You did it! You’re a star.
Ready for another round? Try your hand at the 2025 Poetry Challenge.
Edited by Gregory Cowles, Alicia DeSantis and Nick Donofrio. Additional editing by Emily Eakin,
Joumana Khatib, Emma Lumeij and Miguel Salazar. Design and development by Umi Syam. Additional
game design by Eden Weingart. Video editing by Meg Felling. Photo editing by Erica Ackerberg.
Illustration art direction by Tala Safie.
Illustrations by Daniel Barreto.
Text and audio recording of “The More Loving One,” by W.H. Auden, copyright © by the Estate of
W.H. Auden. Reprinted by permission of Curtis Brown, Ltd. Photograph accompanying Auden recording
from Imagno/Getty Images.
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