Wyoming
Wyoming’s ‘Sandwich’ Generation: 106,000 Caring For Children, Aging Parents
Sometimes when Melissa Watson’s dad, Joel Swearingen of Cody, is meeting someone new, he’ll forget who his daughter is and tell them, “This is my wife, Melissa.”
Watson, who moved back home to Cody a few years ago, doesn’t let that get to her.
Her father is in the beginning stages of dementia, and she knows that, over time, his condition is only going to worsen.
She also understands that mistaking her for his wife does make a certain kind of sense in the world of a man who can no longer remember things like the numbers on a clock face.
“Who’s the woman that takes care of you?” Watson said. “In my dad’s generation, that would have been your wife.”
Now the person who takes care of him is Watson.
A mother of two children, Watson is sandwiched between responsibilities. She’s the 24/7 parent of two children, and now the 24/7 caregiver for her father.
Nothing makes it easy, though it is easier since Watson was able to convince her dad to move in with her and her family a couple of years ago. He’d had a couple of falls at his home and didn’t even remember that he’d fallen.
“You’d say, ‘How did you get hurt?’ And he’d say, ‘Oh I don’t know, that’s been there forever,’” she said.
But the wounds hadn’t been there forever at all. There were no signs of injuries just days before.
“It became very clear he had dementia, and probably shouldn’t be living alone,” Watson said. “Even though that was his wish. He wanted to just live in his house until he died.”
Watson is one of more than and estimated 100,000 adults in Wyoming who have become caregivers for at least one aging parent, according to AARP Wyoming. Many times that happens while also working jobs and raising their own kids.
Smart Shopping
Convincing Watson’s dad to move in with her took a bit of smart thinking.
The Watsons took him on a shopping trip to look at houses that might accommodate their family of four plus one.
“Once he saw the possibility that if he lived with us, he would have not only his own bedroom and bathroom, but a space where he could put his television and stuff, I think it started to feel like to him this might work better,” Watson said. “I think he still had enough awareness to realize he needed help, but he didn’t really want to ask for it.”
The new, larger home meant having a new and larger mortgage. Working out the finances for that wasn’t easy. Ultimately, Swearingen decided to sell his home to help pay for his daughter’s mortgage. He also contributes financially to the household’s expenses.
So far, Swearingen doesn’t require round-the-clock care, and he’s still able to be somewhat independent. But there are limits to that.
“I don’t practice law right now, because I couldn’t be away from the house for eight hours a day,” Watson said. “That would be impossible. If I’m gone more than maybe four or five hours, my dad’s calling and saying, ‘Nobody’s here. Nobody’s here. I’m here all alone.’”
Watson helps her dad with his feet at night. She keeps tabs on his daily medications. She makes sure he’s getting three square meals a day.
She helps him with the washing machine if he can’t remember how it works. She’s in charge of keeping his finances straight. And she’s on alert all the time.
Just in case her dad slips out the door to unexpectedly go wandering the neighborhood.
She knows that one day, sooner than she’d like, she’s going to have to put alarms on all the doors.
“It’s hardly any different than when our kids were little,” she said. “It’s like I have three kids now. I have my two kids and my dad.”
The Caregiver Sandwich
Watson is one of the 106,000 Wyomingites, or about 23% of adults, who find themselves in a caregiver sandwich, according to AARP Wyoming. The layers of this sandwich come with time pressures and financial stress for most, as well as emotional strain and logistical overload.
“When a loved one needs help, family members, friends and neighbors step up, that’s what we do,” AARP Wyoming State Director Sam Shumway said. “But, too often, caregivers carry this responsibility alone, often putting finances, health and jobs at risk. As our state population ages, the demand for care will only grow.”
Shumway estimates the value of unpaid care in Wyoming totals $54 million now. That’s only going to grow in the future with a new wave of aging adults just ahead on the horizon.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, there are 76.4 million Baby Boomers. By 2031, the youngest of them will be at least 67 — ready to retire if they wish with full social security benefits.
By 2030, all baby boomers will be older than 65, representing an estimated one out of every five residents. This incoming tidal wave will have profound implications for not just the nation’s healthcare system, but society as a whole.
The number of middle-aged people juggling the usual stress of jobs and financial worries that come with raising children alongside caring for an aging parent are also going to just keep growing as more and more Boomers age. Some of them will take on debt and use up savings, jeopardizing their own retirements down the line. Others may be forced to leave the workforce early, giving them less ability to reach retirement goals.
That reality has AARP Wyoming urging state policymakers at every level to consider how they can help older adults to age in place, as well as help the caregivers sandwiched between their parents and their children’s needs.
At the federal level, AARP is also advocating for tax credits for working caregivers of up to $5,000 to help them defray some of the expenses that jeopardize their retirements, as well as expanding allowed uses of flexible spending and health savings accounts.
It’s Better To Overshare
Often times, the need for more care comes up completely unexpectedly. That’s the way it was for Susan Bigelow of Sheridan.
“My very independent mother suddenly needed to have someone with her,” Bigelow said. “And I had to navigate that.”
Her mom’s symptoms looked a lot like dementia when she came to live with Bigelow. Later, those proved to be part of an undiagnosed medical condition that went away once the condition was treated.
But in the meantime, Bigelow’s mom was unable to help her daughter figure out even the most basic of information.
“She didn’t know why she was here, so she clearly couldn’t answer questions about now, ‘What is your health insurance? And what is this and what is that?’” Bigelow said. “So I would have to go to her apartment and find all the paperwork I could find and go through her wallet and figure those things out.”
Fortunately for Bigelow, her mother wasn’t a hoarder and had a minimalist mindset.
“I didn’t have to go through a lot,” Bigelow said. “She had a small apartment, so it didn’t take me more than an hour or two to find all the paperwork in her whole apartment. But then I had to piece things together.”
That’s changed her own thinking on what she shares with her own children.
“I have two adult children and they have spouses,” she said. “And I have three adult stepchildren and they have spouses. Many of them are getting close to retirement age.
“So I’ve put together the information I think they need, and I over share with them, because I want them to be prepared to care for me if the need arises.”
Bigelow had an understanding boss at the time, who allowed her to do some work from home so she could juggle all the responsibilities.
But she still ended up taking early retirement to care for her mother.
That care ultimately overlapped with care for her own husband, who had a health condition that began to escalate not long after Bigelow’s mother came to live with them.

Caregiver Model Developed In Sheridan
Stella Montano has been a caregiver and offers workshops for people who are caring for a family member in Sheridan.
The biggest issue she sees is that most people have no idea what kind of resources are out there to help them . And they have little to no time to figure it out themselves.
“Sometimes caregivers don’t even realize they’re caregivers,” she said. “They’re just the husband, just the wife, just the adult child with an obligation of taking care of the parents, because they did it for you.”
When Montano’s mother was diagnosed with dementia, she faced a steep learning curve. That’s given her a passion for helping others who suddenly become caregivers to navigate the available resources.
“I am very much about how we can get resources to caregivers, whether it’s affordable meals, or it’s transportation,” she said. “We in Sheridan are very fortunate to have a lot of different options for the senior population, but they don’t always know what’s out there.”
Montano’s programs began as a church ministry but have since expanded into a community-wide ministry, thanks to a grant from AARP.
The program Montano started so impressed AARP, in fact, that the organization took it first statewide and then national.
“There’s a DIY kit now that AARP offers to any state that wants to support caregivers,” Montano said. “So, we do a lot of partnering with organizations like the VA, like we have one assisted living in Sheridan and I do like a coffee for caregivers.”
That brings everyone together to talk about the issues they face, brainstorm ideas, and hear from experts as well as other caregivers.
“I call it a CommuniTEA,” Montano said. “And we have something for them every month to just give them a break and show support.”
A Labor of Love
Breaks are an important, often-overlooked aspect, Montano said. Too many caregivers burn themselves out trying to do or be too much, to the detriment of their own health.
It’s easy to get sucked into that, Watson agreed.
“It takes a conscious effort on our part to do self-care and to set time apart for ourselves,” she said. “Because otherwise, it’s really like being a new parent. It’s like having a newborn. You get sucked into it and then you’re a year in and you’re like, ‘We haven’t been on a date in a year.’”
It’s been a labor of love, Watson said, but a labor, nonetheless.
“We consider him in everything that we do,” Watson said. “If we’re going somewhere, he goes with us. Or, like when we went on vacation this summer, I arranged for two of my sisters to come up and stay with him while we were gone.”
The two sisters split the time up, so it would fit their own schedules. At the end of it they told Watson, “I don’t know what he’s paying to contribute to your house, but you guys should get a raise. He’s a lot of work.”
Watson agrees, but wouldn’t have it any other way, either.
“I think it’s good for my kids to see what it looks like to be charitable to your community and then to be charitable to your family,” she said. “That’s what we’re doing with my dad. We want our kids to understand my parents did that for us and what it is to help people who are less fortunate than you.
“You get nothing in return, but that’s not why you do it,” she continued. “You do it because it’s the right thing. Because when we help other people, it actually gives us this internal boost. It’s not like an actual payback of cash.
“It’s a payback of what it means to be a human and be a participant in the human race.”
Renée Jean can be reached at renee@cowboystatedaily.com.
Wyoming
(LETTERS) Wyoming Supreme Court judges, congressional responsibility, pregnancy and US involvement in the Middle East
Oil City News publishes letters, cartoons and opinions as a public service. The content does not necessarily reflect the opinions of Oil City News or its employees. Letters to the editor can be submitted by following the link at our opinion section.
Wyoming Supreme Court judge process better than federal’s
Dear Casper,
This letter is in response to Mr. Ross Schriftman’s letter to the editor from April 11. His opinion appears to be that the Wyoming process of selecting Wyoming Supreme Court justices is somehow flawed. Justices are selected through a merit-based assisted appointment process. When a vacancy occurs, a seven-member Judicial Nominating Commission recommends three candidates to the governor, who appoints one.
Appointed justices serve at least one year before standing in a nonpartisan retention election for an eight-year term.
The commission consists of the chief justice as chair/tie-breaker, three attorneys selected by the Wyoming State Bar and three non-attorneys appointed by the governor. The governor must select one of the three nominees provided by the commission to fill the vacancy.
After serving at least one year, justices stand for retention in the next general election. Voters cast a “yes” or “no” vote. If retained, the justice serves an eight-year term.
Candidates must be U.S. citizens, Wyoming residents for at least three years, licensed to practice law, and have at least nine years of legal experience. Justices must retire at age 70.
U.S. Supreme Court are appointed for life!
I would offer that the Wyoming process is superior to that of the U.S. Constitution. Voters are involved the process, which we are not at the federal level.
Wyoming justices can be impeached and removed from office by the state House of Representatives and Senate.
Michael Bond
Casper
Wyoming delegation must answer for President Trump’s Iran policy
Dear Casper,
Sent this to each of our Wyoming congressional delegates. I lived in Montana for years. These are the questions the Daily Montanan asked of their elected congressional representatives.
I ask the same questions of our Wyoming delegation. Montana got no answers. I doubt that we will either.
- President Donald Trump has continued to threaten to hit targets that would affect or kill civilians in Iran. Do you support his stated objectives and deadlines?
- Are you concerned that some of these targets could be construed as attacking civilians and therefore become war crimes?
- Do you have any concerns about wiping out an entire civilization, as Trump has threatened?
- If these are only rhetorical threats, what does that do to our stature in the world when we make threats, but don’t follow through with them?
- Polls have continued to show more than a majority of Americans do not support the efforts against Iran. Why do you support the effort?
- If you do not support the effort in Iran, at what point would you support Congressional intervention or oversight on the issue?
- Have you been briefed and do you believe that there are clear objectives in this war with Iran, and how can you communicate those with your constituents?
- The U.S. has repeatedly criticized Vladimir Putin and Russia for its invasion and treatment of the Ukrainian people and it sovereignty. How does that differ from America’s “excursion” into Iran?
- What is your message for Montanans who are seeing gas prices and the cost of living generally increase?
- Last week, President Trump said that America doesn’t have enough money for healthcare and childcare; further, those things must be left to the individual states in order to fund the military? Do you agree?
- President Trump continues to boost military budgets and request additional funding for the war in Iran. Do you support these?
Tami Munari
Laramie
Pregnancy is personal, not political
Dear Casper,
The recent Wyoming Supreme Court ruling, which affirmed abortion is health care, has caused some who disagree with the ruling to attack Wyoming’s judicial system.
In an opinion letter, candidate Ross Schriftman facetiously writes, “…our God-given First Amendment right of free speech does not apply when criticizing our fellow citizen judges.”
This is the first flaw in his logic because the Constitution was not written by God, therefore the right of freedom of speech was thought up and written by men. God is not the author nor guarantor of personal freedoms — our Constitution and judicial system are.
The second flaw in his argument references a letter signed by 111 professionally-trained, experienced, and well-respected Wyoming judges and attorneys explaining how the courts arrive at their rulings. It is illogical to claim we are all “citizen judges” because even though citizens have a constitutionally-guaranteed right to an opinion, it does not make every citizen a legal expert. The judges’ and attorneys’ excellent letter speaks for itself.
Mr. Schriftman claims the Supreme Court, “… create(d) an absurd definition of health care to include the intentional murder of pre-born human persons; something they did to justify overriding the equal protection clause… .” This logic is flawed because it is based on a conflation of an obsession with “pre-born human persons” and equal protection under the law.
There is significant disagreement on the issue of fetal personhood and who gets to determine it: the doctors? the lawyers? the pregnant woman? the anti-choice crowd?
Many understand and appreciate it has taken women almost 200 years to gain and keep Equal Protection Under the Law, and the disagreement over who is legally, materially, and morally responsible for a fertilized human egg has always been part this historical struggle. But it was the Roe v. Wade Supreme Court decision that finally established a constitutional right, for women and men, to private health care decisions and, since pregnancy is a health condition, that included abortion.
Even though it wasn’t explicit, Roe also effectively affirmed that bestowing of “personhood” is a private determination to be made by the pregnant woman and her God. But, sadly, here we are again, dealing with folks who mistakenly believe they have a right to interfere in someone else’s pregnancy.
The Rev. L Kee
Casper
Why does the U.S. keep troops in oil producing countries?
Dear Casper,
There are two facts that don’t ever seem to be considered by our government that cost us dearly.
Osama Bin Laden said the stationing of U.S. troops in the Middle East was the reason Al Qaeda attacked us on 9/11. Does the U.S. believe that the oil producing countries in the Middle East will only sell us oil if we force them to by stationing troops there? I’m not aware of any other countries that believe that.
The other fact is, the U.S. is the only country to ever use a nuclear weapon offensively. There are several countries that have nuclear weapons, including North Korea. The reason countries have been reluctant to use nuclear weapons is MAD, mutually assured destruction. Consequently, is it reasonable to expect Iran, should they develop a nuclear weapon, to attack the U.S., knowing that our superiority in nuclear capability would assure the complete destruction of their country? It clearly would be suicidal for them to do so.
But, just to be cautious, rather than destroying the entire country to deter Iran from acquiring a nuclear weapon, wouldn’t it make more sense to destroy their nuclear infrastructure?
Bill Douglass
Casper
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Wyoming
Wyoming’s Indigenous students can now apply for new UW scholarship
Wyoming
Artemis II Astronauts Credit Wyoming-Based NOLS For Prepping Them For Moon Mission
Before they ever left Earth, all of NASA’s Artemis II astronauts trained with the National Outdoor Leadership School (NOLS) — and for some, that preparation included long days navigating Wyoming’s backcountry.
That NOLS training was singled out by Artemis II Commander Reid Wiseman Thursday during the crew’s first group interview from NASA’s Johnson Space Center in Houston, Texas, after returning to Earth on April 10 from it’s 10-day mission to the moon and back.
He reflected on decision-making under pressure and how lessons learned through NOLS resurfaced during moments of stress and distraction.
“There’s a saying that we learned from one of our National Outdoor Leadership School instructors: integrity is not a one or a zero,” Wiseman said. “You can be in integrity, and you can be out of integrity — and I’ll be the first to admit that there were moments when I was out of integrity because sometimes the view or the human experience would just pull me away from the work.”
The partnership reflects a longstanding relationship between NOLS and NASA, the United States’ civilian space agency, and the Lander-based outdoor education organization.
Since 1999, NASA has worked with a variety of organizations and contracted NOLS for more than 45 wilderness expeditions designed to help astronauts prepare for the realities of long-duration spaceflight.
Those expeditions place crews in remote, resource-limited environments where communication, leadership and teamwork become essential for safety — conditions that mirror life inside a spacecraft.
In 2023, Cowboy State Daily chronicled the Artemis II astronauts training in the Cowboy State. At the time, the connection between Wyoming’s wind-carved wilderness and the engineered isolation of deep space felt philosophical.
Now, after completing their mission, the astronauts say the lessons they learned in Wyoming followed them all the way to lunar orbit.
From Wyoming Backcountry To The Moon
For NOLS instructors, the connection between wilderness leadership and spaceflight comes down to a single idea, what the school calls “expedition behavior.”
Rick Rochelle, senior faculty and leadership coach at NOLS, told Cowboy State Daily on Friday that the concept explains why NASA continues to partner with the organization decades after the relationship began.
“There’s a phrase that NOLS calls ‘expedition behavior,’ and that is clearly the most important part of why NASA works with us and how it translates,” Rochelle said.
The term was coined by NOLS founder Paul Petzoldt, a mountaineer who set an altitude record on K2 in 1938, served in the 10th Mountain Division during World War II and later built the school around the idea that leadership is defined by responsibility to others.
“He said it’s an awareness of others’ needs and the character to make those needs as important as your own,” Rochelle said. “It’s really about how to be a great team member.”
Lynn Petzold, also senior faculty at NOLS, said astronauts who train with the school are placed in situations where leadership theory becomes practical experience — where decisions must be made under stress, and reflection becomes part of daily operations.
“NOLS provides experience for astronauts to go through leadership theory, work under stress, and reflect and debrief — extracting the learnings from the day and implementing them moving forward,” Petzold said. “That’s how you continue to grow and become a better team.”
The wilderness setting itself plays a critical role.
Long stretches in remote terrain force participants to manage fatigue, communicate clearly and make decisions without outside support. These are conditions that closely resemble life inside a spacecraft.
“This ties to the previous question, which is being in an austere environment for long periods away from distractions,” Rochelle said.
Why Wyoming Keeps Showing Up In Spaceflight
The connection between Wyoming and human spaceflight has grown steadily over the past quarter century, turning Lander into an unlikely but consistent training ground for astronauts preparing to leave Earth.
In the Wyoming backcountry, that might mean navigating a sudden weather shift or managing exhaustion miles from the nearest road.
In space, the same principles scale to orbital mechanics, life-support systems, and the psychological weight of isolation.
For instructors who have watched astronauts move through Wyoming’s mountains and deserts, the pride in the Artemis II mission is personal, Rochelle said.
“These are amazing human beings,” he said. “They love each other. They’re mission-focused, and they clearly want to have a positive impact on all of humanity.”
Petzold agreed.
“These are awesome human beings who were excited to be part of this mission,” she said. “They had a lot to contribute as individuals, and as a group they really brought it together.
“NOLS is just really excited and proud to work with NASA and this crew to pave a new path forward as we return to the moon. We’re proud to have been a small part of it.”
The same training that teaches students to read about weather, manage fatigue and support teammates in the Wind River backcountry is now helping shape how astronauts operate in deep space.
Kolby Fedore can be reached at kolby@cowboystatedaily.com.
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