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Advice | Amy Dickinson says goodbye in her final column

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Advice | Amy Dickinson says goodbye in her final column


Dear Readers: Since announcing my departure from writing this syndicated column, I have heard from scores of people across various platforms, thanking me for more than two decades of offering advice and wishing me well in my “retirement.” I am very touched and grateful for this outpouring of support.

The thing is, I don’t think of myself as retiring. I have led a constant, reliable life. I will read even the worst book to the last page. I have never voluntarily left a relationship, an obligation, or any employment. (I can barely stand to leave a room!)

But I’m leaving this seven-day-a-week commitment — because I want to, and because it’s time. My intention is to move on and to do other meaningful work.

Writing this column has given me a glimpse into thousands of lives. The insight I have gained has inspired and empowered me to listen to my own counsel, to be authentic in my actions and to — basically — be in charge of my own life, as much as possible. Showing myself the door at this moment reflects the privilege of good health, strong relationships, years of steady employment and some prudent financial choices. I’m very aware of how lucky I am.

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My favorite way to envision this work is to picture families reading these columns together at the breakfast table and weighing in with their own points of view before reading mine. And yes, there are still parents and grandparents out there who clip the newspaper and send pertinent columns to kids in college or summer camp, or tape it to refrigerators and bathroom mirrors. I’ve heard from health-care workers, police officers, firefighters and office workers who say they discuss the issues raised in the column in the break room.

I love knowing that, and I’ll miss having coffee with you.

The questions raised in this space have been used as teaching tools in middle schools, memory care units, ESL classes and prisons. These are perfect venues to discuss ethical, human-size dilemmas. On my last day communicating with you in this way, I feel compelled to try to sum up my experience by offering some lasting wisdom, but I’ve got no fresh insight. Everything I know has been distilled from wisdom gathered elsewhere.

Boxer Mike Tyson famously said, “Everybody has a plan, until they get punched …” Punches are inevitable. But I do believe I’ve learned some universal truths that might soften the blows.

Be gentle with yourself — and with others.

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Lead with kindness, and recognize kindness when you receive it.

Reserve your harshest judgment. Sit on your worst thoughts about other people and consider the consequences before expressing them.

Be of service by finding something, or someone, to take care of.

Find creative ways to express your feelings.

Admit to your faults and failings, and resolve to do better.

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Work hard not to be defined by the worst things that have happened to you.

Recognize even the smallest blessings and express gratitude.

Be kind to receptionists, restaurant servers, dental hygienists, and anyone who needs to physically touch or serve you to do their job.

Understand that there are times when it is necessary to give up.

Identify, develop, or explore your core ethical and/or spiritual beliefs.

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Recognize and detach from your own need to control someone else.

Respect boundaries — yours and others’.

Seek the counsel of people who are wiser than you are. Ask their advice, and listen.

I sometimes supply “scripts” for people who have asked me for the right words to say, and so I thought I would boil these down to some of the most important statements I believe anyone can make.

I love you, just as you are.

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Now that I’m near the end of my movie, I hope you’ll pay attention to the end credits.

Many thanks to Chicago friends and colleagues, including Jim Warren, who found me, Ann Marie Lipinski, who hired me, Steve Mandell, who represented me, and editors Mary Elson, Bill O’Connell and Carrie Williams. Thank you to “Gentleman Jack” Barry, who softened my exit.

And especially to Tracy Clark, a talented novelist who has helped to correct my faulty thinking and grammar for many years.

Finally, much gratitude to faithful readers, who can find me on social media and through my regular newsletter.

© 2024 by Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency.

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Man charged with shooting co-worker in Washington Heights

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Man charged with shooting co-worker in Washington Heights


A 26-year-old man had an argument with a co-worker before allegedly fatally shooting the colleague in Washington Heights, prosecutors said Friday.

Bobby Martin, who was charged with first-degree murder Thursday, made his first appearance Friday in Cook County court.

Martin, is accused of killing his co-worker, Antoine Alexander, 32, in a parking lot at 9411 S Ashland Ave about 3:30 p.m. on Tuesday, according to Chicago police.

Prosecutors said Martin and Alexander worked together at an armed security company and got into a verbal altercation inside the guard shack on Tuesday afternoon. During the altercation, prosecutors said Alexander removed his bullet proof vest and threw it to the ground. A witness, another co-worker, then told the defendant and the victim to take the altercation outside.

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After stepping outside, the defendant pulled his firearm and fired one shot into the victims abdomen, prosecutors said. The victim’s firearm was holstered at the time of the argument and the shooting. The defendant fled the scene and came into contact with another co-worker, whom he told that he had just shot Alexander.

Alexander was then taken to Advocate Christ Medical Center in Oak Lawn, where he was pronounced dead.

Martin was arrested by authorities three blocks from his home approximately 20 minutes after the shooting, prosecutors said.

Martin was detained and will appear in court again on March 17, authorities said.

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Washington Spirit goalkeeper Aubrey Kingsbury announces she’s pregnant

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Washington Spirit goalkeeper Aubrey Kingsbury announces she’s pregnant


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Washington Spirit goalkeeper Aubrey Kingsbury has announced that she and her husband Matt are expecting a baby in July.

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The couple made the announcement in a video on the Spirit’s social media channels, holding a baby goalkeeper jersey on the pitch at Audi Field.

Kingsbury becomes the most recent Spirit star to go on maternity leave, following defender Casey Krueger, midfielder Andi Sullivan and forward Ashley Hatch.

Sullivan gave birth to daughter Millie in July, while Hatch welcomed her son Leo in January.

Krueger announced she was pregnant with her second child in October.

Kingsbury has served as the Spirit’s starting goalkeeper since 2018, and has been named the NWSL Goalkeeper of the Year twice (2019 and 2021).

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The 34-year-old has two caps with the U.S. women’s national team, and was named to the 2023 World Cup roster.

The club captain will leave a major void for the Spirit, who have finished as NWSL runner-up in back-to-back seasons.

Sandy MacIver and Kaylie Collins are expected to compete for the starting role while Kingsbury is on maternity leave.

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The Spirit kick off their 2026 campaign on March 13 against the Portland Thorns.





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Washington state board awards Yakima $985,600 loan for Sixth Avenue project design

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Washington state board awards Yakima 5,600 loan for Sixth Avenue project design


Yakima could soon take a major step toward redesigning Sixth Avenue after the Washington State Public Works Board awarded the city a $985,600 loan.

The loan was approved for the design engineering phase of the Sixth Avenue project. The funding can also be used along Sixth Avenue for utility replacement and updated ADA use.

The Yakima City Council must decide whether to accept the award. If the council accepts it, the city’s engineering work will move forward with the design of Sixth Avenue.

The cost of installing trolley lines is excluded from the plan. The historic trolleys would need to raise the funds required to add trolley lines.

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The award is scheduled to be discussed during next week’s City Council meeting.



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