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Embracing Living & Grieving – San Diego Jewish World

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Embracing Living & Grieving – San Diego Jewish World


By Shayna Kaufmann

Shayna Kaufmann

SAN DIEGO —  Living and grieving co-exist. I was reminded of this yet again, in a palpable way, while on a recent trip to Scotland. I was visiting my daughter, Maya, who is studying in Glasgow for the semester. It was the second morning of my trip. I awoke to a string of frantic WhatsApp texts, from friends in my women’s group, about Angela, one of our intimate group of 10. The most recent text, written hours before, said, “She’s gone.” It was followed by a slew of broken hearted emojis.

I could not breathe much less wrap my head around those shocking words. I just saw her in the hospital, only days before I left San Diego. We knew her cancer prognosis was serious but none of us thought that death was at her door. I looked at my daughter, asleep next to me in my hotel bed, took my phone into the bathroom to track what happened, and sobbed.

Exactly one week before, the night before her scheduled surgery, I went with several other women in our group to visit Angela in the hospital. She was dressed in regular clothes, walking around, and looking as alive and beautiful as always. We talked about the surgery and how we could support her in her recovery. The seven of us seemed more worried and tense than Angela.

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Then, we made a huddle with Angela, wrapped our arms around each other, and sang a melodic healing prayer. At one point, I glanced up at Angela, and saw her intently listening, with an angelic smile on her face. Though she knew (we did not) that her cancer had metastasized, there was not a hint of fear or sorrow on her face. She appeared to be fully taking in every second of her life. When the prayer was over, we stayed in our huddle and silently swayed. None of us wanted to let go.

When I read the shocking news, I briefly thought about returning home to go to her funeral. I was double crushed to miss it. But Maya, Tara (my oldest who was soon joining us), and I would have also been crushed if I left. My compromise, supported by my daughters, was to return to San Diego a few days early, in order to attend the last night of Shiva (a Jewish memorial gathering in the days following one’s burial.)

Despite Angela’s passing, my week in Scotland was wonderful. The varied scenery and topography were breathtaking. I treasured the time with my young adult daughters, perhaps even more than usual, as Angela’s death drilled into me the preciousness and unpredictability of time. We laughed, shared “adult” stories, ate, drank, had deep conversations, and gasped together as I nervously navigated roundabouts and single-lane, two-way roads, while driving on the left-hand side of the road. An unexpected highlight, was our giddy time eating and talking in the car, while waiting hours for help to change a pot-hole demolished tire. None of us got upset or complained. It was what it was.

And, I often cried when I thought about Angela. On one particular drive, in the awe-inspiring Isle of Sky, Maya, our navigator and DJ, played some soulful Celtic music. The combined sounds and sights unleashed a barrage of tears. My daughters were old enough to understand that I needed to cry, and held space for me to let them roll. As I cried, I breathed in the spacious air and looked at the billowy clouds in a rare sunny sky. I was living and grieving.

Grief is part of life. It is inevitable. If we are grieving, we are living, though it can be easy to get lost  in a cloud of detached grief. Amidst my sorrow over Angela, I felt even more grateful for my life, my fortunate opportunities, and my treasured time with Tara and Maya. Angela did the same in the waning days of her life. I watched her joking around with her kids in the hospital, all the while knowing her remaining time on earth would be brief.

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May you all remember to create space to live as you navigate life’s inevitable losses. There is room for both.

*
Dr. Shayna Kaufmann, a psychologist, received her mindfulness teacher training through Dharma Moon and Tibet House US. She leads meditation workshops and retreats and teaches mindfulness individually.



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Mater Dei Catholic rallies, beats Point Loma in rematch of last week’s final

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Mater Dei Catholic rallies, beats Point Loma in rematch of last week’s final


CHULA VISTA – Fourteen league and section championship banners hang from the outfield wall at Mater Dei Catholic High School’s softball field. In center field, two replicas of the state of California are displayed on the fence, representing the Crusaders’ two Southern California Regional titles.

Said senior center fielder Bella Harris: “We have a legacy of winning on our home field.”

On a sun-soaked Thursday afternoon, Mater Dei Catholic added another chapter to its home-field history.

Trailing 4-1 going into the bottom of the sixth, the Crusaders scored six runs — five coming with two outs — to rally and beat Point Loma 7-4 in the semifinals of the Southern California Regional Division 1 playoffs.

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Mater Dei, the reigning Southern California Division 1 champion, will play for its second straight SoCal championship at home Saturday against La Habra.

“They weren’t going to go down,” said Crusaders co-head coach Liz Centrullo. “They kept fighting. They have the ultimate belief in each other and themselves. That’s what this team does. They do it for each other.”

The Crusaders’ sixth inning began with Oregon-commit Maya Matties lacing a single to left. UCLA-commit Charlize “Chuck” Masingale followed with an RBI double. Sunny Sosa hit a tapper in front of the plate. The ball appeared to glance off Sosa in fair territory, but the umpires ruled it didn’t.

Runners were on first and third with no outs and the score 4-2.

After a fielder’s choice and ground out, the Crusaders still trailed by two, now with runners on second and third. To the plate stepped senior second baseman Liana Quinones.

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“This is the turning point of the game,” Quinones said she told herself. “My teammates are relying on me. And most importantly, trusting me. It wasn’t (ital)if (end ital). I had to get it done.”

Mater Dei’s Arri Romero #9 pitches against Point Loma during the CIF Southern California Division 1 Regional semifinals at Mater Dei Catholic High School on Thursday, June 4, 2026 in Chula Vista, California. (Meg McLaughlin / The San Diego Union-Tribune)

Quinones hit a hard ground ball that was booted for an error, two runs scoring. Point Loma intentionally walked Arizona-commit Arri Romero, who leads the team with 31 RBI.

Harris ruined the strategy by driving in the go-ahead run with a single.

“There was a lot of adrenaline,” said Harris. “It’s the moment you always train for, practice for and hope for.”

The game marked the third time Mater Dei Catholic (30-3) and Point Loma (24-10) met this season. Mater Dei won all three, 2-1 back in March and 5-3 on Saturday for the San Diego Section Open Division title.

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“It’s our first loss like this the whole year,” said Point Loma coach Bill Hunyady. “Usually, we’re able to hold leads. But this is a testament to the best team in San Diego County (Mater Dei Catholic). We had three swings at them and weren’t able to get a win.”

Point Loma took a 3-0 lead in the third inning on a massive three-run homer by left-handed hitting freshman Remington Spangler. The ball sailed over the right-field fence, beyond the bushes, crashing into a tree in a neighboring backyard.

“She roped that,” said Centrullo. “I tip my hat to her.”

Point Loma's Zibby Baker cheers in the dugout during the CIF Southern California Division 1 Regional semifinals against Mater Dei at Mater Dei Catholic High School on Thursday, June 4, 2026 in Chula Vista, California. (Meg McLaughlin / The San Diego Union-Tribune)
Point Loma’s Zibby Baker cheers in the dugout during the CIF Southern California Division 1 Regional semifinals against Mater Dei at Mater Dei Catholic High School on Thursday, June 4, 2026 in Chula Vista, California. (Meg McLaughlin / The San Diego Union-Tribune)

Spanger pitched the first four innings, allowing just one run on two hits. But five walks and a hit batter ran up her pitch count. While she came in with a 0.83 ERA and had struck out 85 in 59 1/3 innings, she was making only her second start of the season and tired against the Crusaders.

Point Loma went to its bullpen and Mater Dei rallied.

Minutes after the game, Spangler walked about the visitors’ dugout, collecting her belongings. Asked what was going through her mind after a heartbreaking loss, the freshman said: “That I’m going to miss my seniors.”

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Publisher’s Note: Restaurants Are People, June 2026 | San Diego Magazine

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Publisher’s Note: Restaurants Are People, June 2026 | San Diego Magazine


I spent time in a hot dog stand on the edge of San Diego Bay, looking out a window that mattered. Mattered to a kid whose mom taught him to fish on this pier. They’d turn on a little transistor radio, find a signal through the static, stare at the water, and talk life and his dad. Dennis Borlek’s dad was out there, somewhere, commanding a naval submarine through god knows what. When his dad would dock in Point Loma weeks or months later, Borlek biked down the street along Shelter Island to see him and steal back stolen moments.

Later, Borlek helped midwife the craft beer scene, managing seminal spots like Small Bar and Liar’s Club. Wondering what to do with the rest of his life, he went back to that pier and saw a for-lease sign on the bait and tackle shop. He tore through the public library and spent the whole night learning how to write a business plan (he had no clue). A couple days later he found himself at the intimidating end of a massive conference table, pitching his dream to the very official Port of San Diego executives.

They gave it to the San Diego kid. Not sure if they ever imagined Fathom Bistro—the tiniest, mightiest craft beer and hot dog stand, filled with spear guns, ocean monster figures, and seafaring oddities—would still be there 13 years later, let alone be a local’s favorite. It’s the most San Diego place in the world. Borlek taught himself to make kimchi and puts it on his Explodo Dog. His friend Kevin, who played with him in a punk band, dresses as a pirate and works the door on weekends. Has done so for years.

And when Borlek stares out the window, he can see the sub base and the memories of his dad.

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Courtesy of Wayfarer Bread

Later, a few beach towns over, I sat in an employee break area—a shaded back-alley alcove with grape vines that serves as an escape garden for the crew. The place used to be a taco shop. Owner Crystal White points to a window of a single bedroom behind the dough-mixing part of the kitchen. She lived there when she started, often finding herself on the roof at midnight, staring at a broken compressor, trying to will it into working.

A blue-collar kid who fell in love with bread, she moved to San Diego with a business plan and zero cash. Banks don’t loan money to bread dreamers. Fate, kismet, and door-knocking found her enough investors. In the weeks leading up to opening that dream—perfect croissants, kouign-amanns, sandwiches, pizzas, baguettes fermented with wild La Jolla yeasts—she was outside hammering and painting. Locals would pause to ask what she was putting into the spot. “A bakery!” she’d reply.

“Oh, we don’t need one of those,” they’d say. Eight years later, White has moved out of the bedroom, and Wayfarer Bread is one of the best bakeries in the land. I ask if she’ll ever open another location. “I grew up dirt poor,” she says. “This has surpassed even my wildest dreams. This is enough. Please make sure you mention Emma Koehler, K-O-E-H-L-E-R, my kitchen manager. She deserves the credit now.”

These are the people and the stories behind “Best Restaurants.” This issue is dedicated to them, the culture they’ve gritted into being. On the surface, the annual tradition—naming a list of “winners,” my favorite places and my honest answers to “who has the best taco/pizza/Thai…”—is a good-natured competition among friends. But the deeper point is that it’s a way to highlight hundreds of places that have risked it all to build a little magic across the city. Sure, some owners were born in the stars and used that dust to make more stars. But many or most restaurants started with a scrappy go-getter or two. And now those places are filled with dozens or hundreds of people who love the work, show up day in and day out, for years. People like Koehler and the ones we feature in our story, “Behind the Line”.

So please use this list as a beachhead. Try these places, email me ([email protected]) to say “thanks” or “you truly messed up.” Eat, drink, commune, say hello, get to know the stories of the people making your favorite food. Make your own list, and share it with us.

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PARTNER CONTENT

Chef Aidan Owens Thinks Your Fish is Boring

Chef Aidan Owens Thinks Your Fish is Boring

A Holistic Approach to Women’s Wellness and Leadership

A Holistic Approach to Women’s Wellness and Leadership

(Note: Fathom didn’t win anything, probably because there’s no category for “Best Hot Dog Craft Beer Stand on a Pier with a Pirate,” which is a shortcoming on our part. So I put him here because he should be a part of any conversation about best San Diego things.)



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Automated license plate readers and public surveillance cameras are coming to Imperial Beach

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Automated license plate readers and public surveillance cameras are coming to Imperial Beach


An automated license plate reader and smart streetlight camera on the corner of Second Avenue and Cedar Street. (File photo by Gabrielle Wallace/Times of San Diego)

The city of Imperial Beach will soon install four Automated License Plate Readers and two additional “public safety cameras” in hopes of improving public safety.

On June 3, Imperial Beach city councilmembers voted to enter into an agreement with the San Diego Sheriff’s Office to place four license plate readers manufactured by surveillance giant Flock Safety at four proposed intersections, and they will also install two cameras in the city to monitor for criminal behavior.

The cameras, part of a two-month pilot program, seek to improve public safety in the South Bay coastal town.

The four proposed locations for the license plate cameras are Imperial Beach Boulevard and 13th Street, Palm Avenue and 13th Street, 13th Street and Elm and 9th Street and Elm Ave.

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The proposed locations for the public cameras are on the median of Palm Avenue and 8th Street, Palm Avenue and Seacoast Drive and Imperial Beach Boulevard and Seacoast Drive.

For the license plate readers, city staff said they have proven their usefulness in cities and unincorporated areas throughout San Diego County for years.

“[License Plate Reader] technology has contributed to multiple arrests, including identifying suspects’ vehicles involved in retail thefts, gas station thefts, and vehicle burglaries. [License Plate Readers] have also assisted in identifying a suspect vehicle in an international hit-and-run homicide in Lemon Grove and a vehicle involved in a [pellet] gun case in Encinitas,” reads the city’s staff report to the city council.

City staff said the Sheriff’s Office recommends a total of eight license plate readers, but the city opted for four.

“This is a pilot program. We have to consider the trade-off of privacy for security,” said public speaker Vivian Dunbar. “People have been falsely arrested and falsely identified through the use of these cameras.”

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Imperial Beach Mayor Pro-Tem Jack Fisher said that while he understands the privacy concerns, the benefits outweigh any negatives. “This is one of those programs where IB is not leading the charge. A few weeks back, everyone was aware of the tragedy that happened at the Islamic Center of San Diego and the license plate readers were key in tracking those individuals down. It’s good for us to do our part.”

Added Fisher, “The era of big brother has passed, if you have a cell phone, you know there is already tracking.”

The council unanimously voted in favor of the pilot program.



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