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Wayne & Wanda: I’m in Anchorage, my co-worker’s in Fairbanks. How can I tactfully ask her out?

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Wayne & Wanda: I’m in Anchorage, my co-worker’s in Fairbanks. How can I tactfully ask her out?


Dear Wayne and Wanda,

I work with “Michelle.” We’ve gotten to know each other pretty well over the past few months, and I’ve found myself really drawn to her. We are part of the same large team and peers — meaning, it’s not like she’s my supervisor, or vice versa. She’s smart, funny, and we get along great. I’m stoked every time we get to partner up on a project because her work is amazing, and it sounds cheesy but we really do inspire each other. I think there’s a possibility that she might be interested in me too, but here’s the catch: I’m in Anchorage, she’s in Fairbanks.

I’ve been going back and forth on how to approach this. On one hand, I don’t want to come off too strong or make things awkward by suggesting that I travel to see her when we’re not even dating. On the other hand, I don’t want to miss the chance to get to know her better outside of work.

What do you think is the best way to ask her out without making her feel pressured or uncomfortable? Should I suggest a virtual date first, like a video chat over coffee or drinks? Or do you think it would be better to keep it light and casual, maybe suggesting we meet up if she’s ever in town, or if I find myself in her city for work or another reason?

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I guess what I’m really asking is: How do I move forward in a way that respects her boundaries (and I have no idea what those are), but also lets her know that I’m genuinely interested in getting to know her better? I appreciate any guidance you can offer. Navigating this new territory is a bit daunting, but I really don’t want to let this opportunity slip by without at least trying. I’m not the most experienced with dating. I’ve always put career first. So I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts.

Wanda says:

Anchorage to Fairbanks, eh? What’s 359 miles between friends and potentially more-than-friends? To be specific, it’s a six-plus-hour drive or a chunk of Alaska Airlines miles and a few hours of combined airports and flight times. Heck, I rarely drive south of Tudor Road unless I’m leaving town, so I get it. Distance can be daunting, especially in navigating a potential new connection.

Let’s assume, though, that you’re reading the room accurately here, and Michelle likes you back. She’s probably wondering the same things you are. How to spend time with you when you live hundreds of miles apart? How to initiate a hangout without freaking you out or creeping in on work boundaries? And what are your work boundaries? And do you like her too? Someone has to make a move here. Tag, you’re it.

Personally, I think a virtual date sounds super awkward. Might as well make it an agenda item after a staff meeting, you know? Since you both apparently travel between cities for your jobs, target the next time you’re both in the same physical spot, and ask her to join you for drinks after work — or dinner, or coffee — just something that involves only the two of you.

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You’re overthinking this simple first date because you don’t live in the same city. But it’s no different than asking out a co-worker who lives down the road. The only difference is, if it goes well, then you have the adventure of navigating a long-distance relationship.

Wayne says:

Ah, love in the Golden Heart City … makes me feel all tingly. Oh wait, that’s my freezing extremities! Dip me in the hot springs ASAP!

OK, this isn’t business, it’s personal, so stop sitting at your laptop and waiting for her to drop a heart emoji over a witty Teams chat pun and get your lovelorn butt up to the Far North for a long weekend to check the temperature — of her feelings about you and the Interior weather forecast so you can pack/dress appropriately.

Plan your trip as if she’s not going to be involved because she might not be. Rent a car and get a room, make a schedule of activities that fit your style and the season: the museum, hot springs, northern lights and skiing, Midnight Sun and hiking, downtown partying and floating the Chena, whatever. Then, when everything’s together, tell her that you’re coming to town in a few weeks and would love to get her advice on your itinerary and if anything critical is missing … and that you’d also love to take her out to dinner at a place of her choosing so you can catch up.

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That’s an easy way to strike up a conversation that isn’t about work, and you’ll also likely get a very solid vibe check from her response. She might rewrite your entire trip and want to play tour guide; she might make up an excuse about having to run her dog team and shoot you down entirely; she might meet you somewhere in between and catch you for coffee or lunch. You won’t know until you act and ask. You’ll feel relief in finally shooting your shot, get some clarity on her interest, and have good times in the Land of the Midnight Fun no matter what she decides.

[Wayne and Wanda: The date was great, but was it business or pleasure?]

[Wayne and Wanda: My budding romance has been a fantasy. How do I bring it into reality?]

[Wayne and Wanda: My co-workers’ gossipy, flirty behavior is driving me up our cubicle walls]

[Ask Sahaj: I don’t want advice from my friend who’s never been in a relationship]

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[Wayne and Wanda: The person I’m dating lets her out-of-control dog run wild off leash, and it drives me nuts]





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Alaska

101-year-old woman shares her birthday reflections with Alaska’s News Source

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101-year-old woman shares her birthday reflections with Alaska’s News Source


ANCHORAGE, Alaska (KTUU) – Norma Aldefer didn’t expect to turn 100. Now, one day after her 101st birthday, she’s even more surprised.

Inside her pristine apartment, Aldefer’s table is full of cards wishing her a happy birthday. She points out a favorite, which reads “You’re how old?”

Celebratory messages from loved ones, along with congratulations from state officials Senator Lisa Murkowski and Governor Mike Dunleavy. Aldefer said last year’s centennial birthday even brought in regards from President Joe Biden.

Aldefer moved to Alaska to marry her husband, who was originally from her hometown. The photograph she has at her side is of her as a younger woman posing with her mother in 1948.

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Norma and her parents pose “all dressed up” for family photos.(Olivia Nordyke)

“We took pictures of ourselves and and I’m all dressed up in high heels and a hat and a purse. And my little bag that I was carrying.” Aldefer said she was scared leaving the small farm she grew up on, but by working as a telephone operator for Southwestern Bell, she expanded her horizons.

Multiple times Aldefer stated she’s remained curious all her years. She said it’s the reason she’s been able to maintain herself rather than losing her faculties, and believes it’s the way to feel fulfilled.

“Sometimes people get into things they don’t enjoy, but they think, ‘Oh, I have to make a living.’ Don’t do that. If you’re not comfortable, go do something else,” Aldefer said.

“May not make a good living for a while, but you might enjoy life.”

Aldefer says she still enjoys life, and continues to enjoy a nightly martini alongside cheese and crackers before she begins to cook dinner.

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Over the course of the interview, she marveled at her gratitude for her world – calling herself blessed.

“I know I’m not going to be here much probably much longer, but I’ve had such a good life, you know. I’m not afraid of it.”

See a spelling or grammar error? Report it to web@ktuu.com



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Moderate earthquake strikes south-central Alaska

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Moderate earthquake strikes south-central Alaska


ANCHORAGE, Alaska (KTUU) – A moderate earthquake occurred in south-central Alaska Sunday afternoon, striking at 2:42 p.m.

Its epicenter was located about 24 miles due east of Anchorage with a depth of 18 miles.

No damage or injuries were reported.

See a spelling or grammar error? Report it to web@ktuu.com

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OPINION: CDQ program and pollock fishery are essential to Western Alaska

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OPINION: CDQ program and pollock fishery are essential to Western Alaska


By Eric Deakin, Ragnar Alstrom and Michael Link

Updated: 1 hour ago Published: 1 hour ago

We work every day to support Alaska’s rural communities through the Community Development Quota (CDQ) program and have seen firsthand the lifeline the program provides to our state’s most isolated and economically vulnerable areas.

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This program is one of the most successful social justice programs in the United States, giving rural, coastal communities a stake in the success of the Bering Sea fisheries, and transferring these benefits into community investments. Our fisheries participation provides $80 million to $100 million of programs, wages and benefits into Western Alaska annually, and the full economic reach of the CDQ program is substantially larger when accounting for jobs and support services statewide.

In some communities, CDQs are the largest and only private-sector employer; the only market for small-boat fishermen; the only nonfederal funding available for critical infrastructure projects; and an essential program provider for local subsistence and commercial fishing access. There is no replacement for the CDQ program, and harm to it would come at a severe cost. As one resident framed it, CDQ is to Western Alaska communities, what oil is to Alaska.

Consistent with their statutory mandate, CDQ groups have increased their fisheries investments, and their 65 member communities are now major players in the Bering Sea. The foundation of the program is the Bering Sea pollock fishery, 30% of which is owned by CDQ groups. We invest in pollock because it remains one of the most sustainably managed fisheries in the world, backed by rigorous science, with independent observers on every vessel, ensuring that bycatch is carefully monitored and minimized.

We also invest in pollock because the industry is committed to constantly improving and responding to new challenges. We understand the impact that salmon collapses are having on culture and food security in Western Alaska communities. Working with industry partners, we have reduced chinook bycatch to historically low levels and achieved more than an 80% reduction in chum bycatch over the past three years. This is a clear demonstration that CDQ groups and industry are taking the dire salmon situation seriously, despite science that shows bycatch reductions will have very minimal, if any, positive impact on subsistence access.

The effects of recent warm summers on the Bering Sea ecosystem have been well documented by science. This has caused some species to prosper, like sablefish and Bristol Bay sockeye salmon, while others have been negatively impacted, including several species of crab and salmon. Adding to these challenges is the unregulated and growing hatchery production of chum salmon in Russia and Asia, which is competing for limited resources in the Bering Sea, and increasing management challenges.

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Attributing the current salmon crises to this fishery is misguided and could cause unnecessary harm to CDQ communities. Without the pollock fishery, we would see dramatic increases in the cost of food, fuel and other goods that are shipped to rural Alaska. We would also see the collapse of the CDQ program and all that it provides, including a wide array of projects and jobs that help keep families fed and children in school.

The challenges Alaska faces are significant, and to address them we need to collectively work together to mitigate the impacts of warming oceans on our fisheries, build resiliency in our communities and fishery management, and continue to improve practices to minimize fishing impacts. We must also recognize the vital need for the types of community investments and job opportunities that the CDQ program creates for Western Alaska and ensure these benefits are considered when talking about the Bering Sea pollock fishery.

Eric Deakin is chief executive officer of the Coastal Villages Region Fund.

Ragnar Alstrom is executive director of the Yukon Delta Fisheries Development Association.

Michael Link is president and CEO of Bristol Bay Economic Development Corp.

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The views expressed here are the writer’s and are not necessarily endorsed by the Anchorage Daily News, which welcomes a broad range of viewpoints. To submit a piece for consideration, email commentary(at)adn.com. Send submissions shorter than 200 words to letters@adn.com or click here to submit via any web browser. Read our full guidelines for letters and commentaries here.





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