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Wayne and Wanda: The rental market is tough, but this roommate situation may be tougher

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Wayne and Wanda: The rental market is tough, but this roommate situation may be tougher


Dear Wayne and Wanda,

Last spring, an old friend from the Lower 48 moved to Alaska. “Dave” and I go way back, to our high school days. We went to college together, and we’ve kept in close touch since I moved here. When Dave moved here, I offered to let him stay with me until he found a place. When I moved here, it took me a few weeks to get to know Anchorage and commit to an apartment. It helped, at the time, that I had a family friend to stay with while I searched and settled. I figured I was paying it forward by doing the same for Dave.

Since those days, I bought a small home, and I felt lucky to have the space to offer to my friend. The problem is, he’s still here in my house and quite comfortable in my spare room. While I never ask for money, he will leave a couple hundred bucks on the counter every now and then. He buys groceries, sometimes makes dinner or orders us takeout, and does other small things to show his gratitude.

Dave’s a good guy, but I feel too old for a roommate. I have a demanding day job and keep regimented bedtime hours, but he works for a restaurant and keeps all kinds of crazy hours. I have asked him several times how the house-hunting is going and he says stuff like, “Why would I want to leave you?” And he has also talked at length about how hard it is to find a good place and how expensive everything is.

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What he says isn’t wrong. I know the market is tight. I’d hate to see him end up in a crummy apartment but I also need my space. Am I a bad friend for wanting him to move out?

Wanda says:

I appreciate Dave’s thoughtful gestures; no doubt he senses he’s imposing. He’s also probably hoping it will prolong what is surely a comforting and lower-stress situation than striking out on his own. And he’s accurate: it’s tough to find affordable and nice living space here.

That said, this one’s on you. You invited Dave to stay with no clear boundaries or expectations for the duration of that invitation. And still, you haven’t made a direct request for Dave’s departure. No wonder he’s leaving cash lying around and whipping up dinner. I’m sure he’s hoping this lasts forever — or at least for a lot while longer, as you’re no doubt saving him the time, money, and energy it takes to look for and commit to a place to live.

Safe to say, Dave won’t leave until you tell him he needs to go. You can do this kindly. Explain that you both know this situation was never meant to be permanent and while you’ve been glad to help, you want to shift your energy to helping him find a new place to live. It’s perfectly OK as a grown adult to want your own home and own space. You have worked toward this place of independence, and that vision didn’t include your childhood buddy hanging on the periphery.

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Wayne says:

Come on now — we can’t assume that Dave’s a forever freeloading friend. But we can safely assume that Dave did not do his homework before moving to Anchorage. Everything is expensive. Housing availability is bleak. Crime is crazy. Our state and local leaders can’t agree on anything significant. Schools and grocery stores are closing, and the iconic Fourth Avenue Theatre is now a massive hole in the ground. Oh yeah, and people are leaving Alaska in droves, not moving here. Welcome to town, Dave — at least we still have some sweet mountains and trails to get some distance from it all!

But you, letter writer, are a homeowner and longtime resident. You should have known better — this wasn’t going to be “a couple of weeks to find a great apartment” situation. That just isn’t reality. Think you could afford or beat the highest bidder with a bag of cash for your little house in today’s market?

At least Dave lined up a job, and he’s hooking you up with cash and grub. He can surely stack up a deposit, first and last month’s rent, and find a new place, even if it’s a ridiculously pricey, crummy apartment with a back-of-house buddy/roommate. Because if he arrived this spring and snow is now once again blanketing the Chugach peaks, you’ve offered him above-and-beyond support, a sweet get-your-feet-on-the-ground grace period, and, yes, excellent friendship. It’s time for him to reciprocate and start his own Anchorage adventure. And as Wanda wisely noted, he likely needs to hear it from you, not in a nudge, but in an adult conversation that balances understanding and urgency.

[My home office co-worker is my roommate. Send help.]

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[Wayne and Wanda: My girlfriend dropped a financial bombshell on me]

[Miss Manners: My friend’s cat litter boxes are gross. Is there a nice way to address the situation?]





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Alaska

This Day in Alaska History-March 27th, 1964

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This Day in Alaska History-March 27th, 1964


 

The largest landslide in Anchorage occurred along Knik Arm between Point Woronzof and Fish Creek, causing substantial damage to numerous homes in the Turnagain-By-The-Sea subdivision. Courtesy of Wikipedia
The largest landslide in Anchorage occurred along Knik Arm between Point Woronzof and Fish Creek, causing substantial damage to numerous homes in the Turnagain-By-The-Sea subdivision. Courtesy of Wikipedia

J.C. Penney Department Store at Fifth Avenue and D Street, Anchorage District, Cook Inlet Region, Alaska, 1964. Courtesy of USGS
J.C. Penney Department Store at Fifth Avenue and D Street, Anchorage District, Cook Inlet Region, Alaska, 1964. Courtesy of USGS

It was on this day in 1964 that a massive 9.2 earthquake in Southcentral Alaska.

The massive quake at 5:36 pm on March 27th caused much devastation throughout the region and generated a huge tsunami that inundated many communities in the region.

The quake was the largest in the history of the United States and initially killed 15 people while the resulting tsunami killed an additional 100 people in the new state and another 13 in California as well as five in Oregon.

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The megathrust earthquake endured for four minutes and thirty-eight seconds and ruptured over 600 miles of fault and moved up to 60 feet in places.

The deadly quake occurred 15 and a half miles deep 40 miles west of Valdez and generated a ocean floor shift that created a wave 220 feet high.

As many as 20 other smaller tsunamis were generated by submarine landslides.



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Opinion: Alaska’s public schools were once incredible. They can be that way again.

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Opinion: Alaska’s public schools were once incredible. They can be that way again.


(iStock / Getty Images)

I grew up greeting friends and neighbors on my walk to my neighborhood Anchorage public school, just as my kids do now. It’s an essential, and value-added, part of living in our community.

In the late 1990s, when I attended Service High School, I had amazing teachers. My AP chemistry teacher left the oil and gas industry to teach. He could have earned significantly more money in another field, but teaching was competitive enough, given pensions and compensation, that he stayed in the job he loved and gave a generation of students a solid foundation in chemistry.

Now, my kids, who are in first, third and fifth grade, face a different reality. Teachers across our state are leaving in droves. Neighborhood schools across Alaska are closing. Art and music are being combined, which is nonsensical — they are not the same and they are both valuable independently. When he was in second grade, my oldest had a cohort of more than 60 students in his grade — split between two teachers. When he enters sixth grade next year, there will be no middle school sports and he will lose out on electives. Support systems and specialists to help when kids are falling behind have been cut. I’m lucky that my children have had amazing teachers, but many excellent teachers are nearing retirement age or don’t have a pension and are pursuing other careers. What happens then?

Despite skyrocketing inflation, last year was the first time in years that our schools received a significant increase in the Base Student Allocation — and that money doesn’t begin to make up for what they have lost over the years. Even that increase had to overcome two vetoes from what a recent teacher of the year calls “possibly the most anti-public education governor in the history of Alaska.” Shockingly, my own representative, Mia Costello, despite voting for the increase, failed to join the override to support education. She has failed to explain that decision when asked.

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State spending on corrections is up 54% since 2019; meanwhile, spending on education is up only 12% in the same timeframe. Schools are now working with 77% of the funding they had 15 years ago when accounting for inflation.

When we starve our public schools of funding, Alaska families leave. No one wants their child to suffer from a subpar education and the lower test scores and opportunities that come with it. A significant number of people are working in Alaska but choosing not to raise their families here.

To the elected officials who preach school “choice” but starve public schools: our family’s choice is our neighborhood school. It’s our community. It’s where our friends are. Neighborhood public schools, which are required to accept all children, should be the best option out there. Public schools should be a good, strong, viable option for communities and neighborhoods across our great state. Once, they were.

I am thankful for those in the Legislature working to solve these problems. This includes HB 374, which raises the BSA by $630, and HB 261, which would make education funding less volatile.

It breaks my heart that across the state, dedicated teachers keep showing up for our kids while being underpaid and undervalued. Underfunding our schools is also a violation of Alaska’s constitution, which requires “adequate funding so as to accord to schools the ability to provide instruction in the standards.”

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Not so long ago, Alaska’s public schools were adequately funded, and they produced well-educated students and retained excellent teachers. It’s up to all of us to reach out to our elected officials and urge them to make that the case once again.

Colleen Bolling is a lifelong Alaskan and mother of three who cares deeply about Alaska’s schools.

• • •

The Anchorage Daily News welcomes a broad range of viewpoints. To submit a piece for consideration, email commentary(at)adn.com. Send submissions shorter than 200 words to letters@adn.com or click here to submit via any web browser. Read our full guidelines for letters and commentaries here.





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Alaska volunteer dedicates 600 hours a year to food bank after husband’s death

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Alaska volunteer dedicates 600 hours a year to food bank after husband’s death


ANCHORAGE, Alaska — Karen Burnett spends most days in the sorting room at the Food Bank of Alaska, ensuring every donated item finds its place.

The Anchorage woman dedicates her time to sorting, packing and organizing food donations.

Finding purpose after loss

Burnett’s journey at the Food Bank of Alaska began after a personal loss. Following the death of her husband, Burnett said she found herself with time on her hands and a desire to help.

“I had a friend who had talked to me about it, and it just sounded like a good thing to be out doing,” she said.

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Burnett now volunteers between 500 and 600 hours each year.

“I started, but it got to be so fun. I spent more and more time here,” Burnett added.

Understanding community need

Burnett has witnessed the growing need in the community, particularly as more families struggle to make ends meet.

“If you took a look at the pantry and saw those empty shelves, it’s hard sometimes when you know people are coming in and looking for something, for their clients, and there’s absolutely nothing in there,” Burnett said.

Her dedication has made a lasting impact on countless families.

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“I just feel real involvement in a way that is appreciated,” Burnett said. “You know, people need this food. They need people to put it out for them.”

See the full story by Ariane Aramburo and John Perry.



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