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Wayne and Wanda: I love Alaska winters, but my wife has grown weary and wants to move

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Wayne and Wanda: I love Alaska winters, but my wife has grown weary and wants to move


Wanda and Wayne,

My wife and I moved to Alaska four years ago for work and adventure, thinking we’d stay a couple of years and see how it felt. We fell hard for it almost immediately. But by our second winter, my wife started talking about how hard the cold and dark were on her, and every winter since that feeling has grown heavier.

This recent cold snap and snow dump really pushed things over the edge. She’s deeply unhappy right now, withdrawn, sad and openly talking about how depressing it feels to live here, especially being so far from family and old friends. She tries to manage it with running, yoga, the gym, but even those things she often does alone. She hasn’t really built a community here, partly because she’s introverted and partly because she sticks closely to her routines and her co-workers aren’t the very social. Meanwhile, I’ve found connections through work and the outdoors, especially skiing in the winter (cross country and touring, downhill, backcountry, all of it!), and Alaska still feels full of possibilities to me.

But now she’s done. She wants to move back “home” soon. She wants to start trying for kids within the next year and doesn’t feel like Alaska is the right place to raise a family. She worries about schools, politics, the economy and being so far from family support. We both have careers that could take us almost anywhere, as well as savings, and a house we could sell quickly, and many of the Alaska toys we could also sell. Logistically, it would be easy. Emotionally, I feel like I’m being told to leave after I just got settled.

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There are places I still want to explore, trips I’ve been planning, seasons I want to experience differently now that we’re more established. I keep thinking: If we can just get through to summer, maybe she’ll feel better. But I don’t know if that’s hope or denial, and yeah, summer feels a long ways away and goes by pretty quickly. Honestly, now I’m starting to get bummed about the idea of leaving.

I love my wife and I don’t want her to be miserable. But I’m scared that if we leave now, I’ll resent her, and if we stay she’ll resent me. Is there a way to buy time without dragging this out painfully? Or is this one of those moments where love means choosing between two incompatible futures?

Wanda says:

If this was your first Cheechako winter here, or your second, I could write off your wife’s apprehension to culture shock or a sophomore slump. But this is year four, which means she’s endured winters of record snowfalls, weird snow shortfalls, terrible windstorms, bleak darkness and desolate below-zero temps. Sorry to say, but it’s likely there’s no number of laps at the Dome or downward dogs on the mat that will make her find the special beauty of an Alaska winter.

This place is tough. For every old-timer who jokes, “I came for two years and I’m still here,” there are plenty who maybe made it that long and bailed. While the state shines with possibilities, rugged beauty, unique traits and cool people, it’s also far from basically everything, pretty expensive and definitely extreme. Some people will thrive here. Some people won’t. No one’s better or worse, or wins or loses. Were you on your own, at a different point in life, you may have made your forever home here. But instead you pledged forever to your wife, and I’m afraid it’s time to start out on your next adventure — in the Lower 48.

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Your wife gave this a real shot. She’s stayed four years. That’s four long — and for her, miserable — winters. It was also four seasons of no doubt incredible summers, full of fresh halibut and farmers markets and quirky festivals and blue skies at 11 p.m. If these special aspects of Alaska haven’t yet been enough to convince her the winters are worth it, they won’t ever be.

Wayne says:

Sure, your Alaska bucket list is still growing faster than you can check things off, but take it from a lifelong Alaskan: You’ll never do it all. People fall in love with this place in a million different ways. You and I? We believe there’s always another season of adventures ahead, another trail and another corner of the state to explore, and we’ll always feel some serious AK FOMO when we’re stuck at the office working while everyone else is ice skating on a perfect winter day or dipnetting during a hot salmon run.

Here’s the perspective shift you need. You love your wife. You’re committed to a happy life together. And by any reasonable measure, you’ve made the most of your four years here. So ask yourself this honestly: Is another spring of shredding pow in the Chugach more important than her mental health and your marriage? And why resent her for being ready for a new chapter after she showed up and gave Alaska a chance? When you frame it that way, “incompatible futures” sounds dramatic and “buying time” sounds selfish.

And Alaska isn’t going anywhere. You know that. It’s a flight or two away no matter where you end up Outside. Maintain your friendships, stay on the airline alerts, narrow your must-do list to the Alaska all-timers, and plan to come back regularly. And imagine this: years from now, bringing your kids here after years of telling them stories about the winters you survived and the mountains you climbed. That’s not losing Alaska, that’s carrying it with you wherever you go, along with your wife and your marriage.

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[Wayne and Wanda: How can I support my partner’s hardcore New Year’s reset, even if it’s not for me?]

[Wayne and Wanda: I kissed my high school crush during a holiday trip home. Now I’m questioning everything]

[Wayne and Wanda: My girlfriend’s dog fostering has consumed her life and derailed our relationship]

[Wayne & Wanda: My husband has been having a secret, yearslong emotional affair]





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Alaska sports notebook: Allie Ostrander finishes 4th at U.S. 6K Championships, Daishen Nix maximizes minutes in NBA Summer League action

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Alaska sports notebook: Allie Ostrander finishes 4th at U.S. 6K Championships, Daishen Nix maximizes minutes in NBA Summer League action


In the town where NFL Hall of Famers are immortalized each year, Kenai’s Allie Ostrander added to her own illustrious resume over the weekend by coming in fourth place at the U.S. 6K Championships in Canton, Ohio, on Saturday. The Alaska Sports and High School Sports Hall of Famer clocked in at 18 minutes, 20 seconds, which was just 12 seconds behind the top finisher and her former college teammate at Boise State, Emily Venters of Utah.

“Nothing more fun than ripping sub-5 miles down the streets of Ohio and reaching my max heart rate with over a mile to go,” Ostrander said in an Instagram post. “I felt strong and am excited about the trajectory I’ve been on this year.”

Anchorage’s Daishen Nix made his 2026 NBA Summer League debut over the weekend for the Houston Rockets and reached double figures in both minutes played and points scored in the two games he appeared. On Friday, in a 97-86 win over the Denver Nuggets, he came off the bench and logged 10 points in 25 minutes. The next day, in a 102-89 loss to the Toronto Raptors, he played one less minute but tied for the third-most points on the team with 16, which included knocking down a trio of 3-pointers.

Anchorage basketball player Isaiah Moses recorded his fourth and fifth straight games of double figures in scoring and helped propel the Perry Lakes Hawks in back-to-back wins last week in the NBL1 Australia. In a 110-88 triumph over the Rockingham Flames on Thursday, he recorded 11 points and four assists. The former Dimond star and Gatorade Player of the Year logged 20-plus points for the fourth time in his last five games with 26 points in a 104-75 win over the Goldfields Giants on Saturday. Moses went 6-of-10 from behind the arc and nearly had a double-double with nine assists.

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Anchorage’s Coen Niclai recorded his team-leading fourth home run of the season for the Wareham Gatemen in the Cape Cod summer baseball league this past Thursday. In the top of the fourth inning in a 4-2 loss to the Chatham Anglers, the two-time Alaska Gatorade Player of the Year and recent Oregon State University commit sent a fly ball soaring out of the park over right center field.

Juneau’s Hunter Carte entered elite company Saturday when he led the Auke Bay Post 25 Alaska Legion baseball team to a 10-0 victory over visiting East. The recent graduate, who helped lead the Crimson Bears to a 2026 high school state title, recorded the first no-hitter in Legion baseball in two years and the seventh since the league adopted the pitch count in 2018. With the win, the team extended its six-game winning streak and remains atop the league standings as the regular season nears a close.





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Opinion: Before Alaska gives away the gas line farm, show us the contracts

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Opinion: Before Alaska gives away the gas line farm, show us the contracts


Brendan Duval, CEO and founder of Glenfarne Group LLC. (Bill Roth/ADN)

No one envies the Alaska Legislature being called back into a second special session on the proposed liquefied natural gas pipeline. One wonders if legislators are being held hostage to the governor’s predetermined decision. While the benefits of an LNG project are easily imagined, the economic risks of the Alaska LNG project must not be ignored.

Alaskans are not assured that Glenfarne, the company that was granted 75% of this project in an undisclosed document, won’t just flip it — sell it — to another entity after it gains billions of dollars in concessions from Alaska. Why the sudden change by Glenfarne and the Alaska Gasline Development Corporation from saying no legislative action was needed to the recent assertion that billions of dollars in property tax reductions are now necessary? It is without question that local municipalities will collectively incur hundreds of millions of dollars in direct impact costs.

Will Alaska give away another resource “farm” again? How would Alaska respond if the LNG project stalls and our resource continues to be a stranded asset? No purchaser has signed on the dotted line to actually buy fixed quantities of our gas. Are prospective purchasers interested? Yes. Have they signed binding contracts? No.

Russia has natural gas pipelines flowing into China. Russia has substantial volume to sell, having lost its natural gas sales to Europe after invading Ukraine. China currently produces 60% of its oil and natural gas needs by fracking its resources in western China. What would keep the Chinese from selling their or Russian natural gas to Alaska’s potential customers in Asia?

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Natural gas prices have remained steady, which says there is plenty of it. Can Alaska’s project, including costly export facilities, be built at a cost that allows it to compete?

Legislators, please respond. But don’t sell out the interests of Alaskans. Glenfarne’s and AGDC’s lack of truthful answers raises many red flags. The correct decision is to let Glenfarne pay for its project. If it can’t or won’t, it isn’t economic.

Patrice Lee is a 49 year resident of Alaska, a retired math and science teacher, and a former elected member of the Interior Gas Utility Board of Directors. She lives in Fairbanks.

• • •

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Bering Sea heat wave cited as trigger for nosedive in Yukon River chinook salmon

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Bering Sea heat wave cited as trigger for nosedive in Yukon River chinook salmon


Spawning chinook, or king, salmon. (Ryan Hagerty / U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service)

The intense marine heat wave conditions that began roiling the Bering Sea in about 2016 resulted in the lowest winter sea ice extent measured in 150 years, widespread bird and marine mammal die-offs, a drastic shift in fish populations and a crash of snow crab stocks.

Now new research is tying the marine heat wave to the recent collapse of Yukon River chinook salmon.

A study published in April, written by scientists at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration’s Alaska Fisheries Science Center and University of Alaska Fairbanks, showed the correlation between the extreme heat wave conditions and the nosedive in Yukon River chinook stocks. The heat wave was accompanied by a dramatic increase in deaths of older juvenile and adult chinook that, had they survived, would have returned from the ocean to freshwater spawning grounds, the study found.

The study was published in the journal Ecological Applications.

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The Yukon River’s runs of chinook, also called king salmon, have been in a long-term decline since their past heyday, when they numbered in the hundreds of thousands and the river was one of the biggest sources of that salmon species.

The sharp downturn in recent years resulted in a 2022 return that was the lowest on record. Widespread fishery closures have been in effect for years along the Yukon River system in both Alaska and Canada.

The study evaluated four general reasons for the sharp decline: poor juvenile “recruitment” into the ocean, which refers to the successful migration of surviving juvenile fish from freshwater; deaths of fish in the marine environment at the start of their migration back to freshwater; harvests that target the salmon; and bycatch, the unintentional harvest of salmon by commercial fishing vessels targeting other species, such as pollock.

Poor juvenile recruitment emerged as an important factor, which was to be expected, the study said.

“Not surprisingly, we found evidence to suggest that impacts operating in the early life stages have likely contributed to declines in run sizes over the past two decades, which is consistent with previous research,” NOAA Fisheries researcher Lukas DeFilippo, the lead author, said in a statement.

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Mortality of post-juvenile Yukon River chinook salmon increased dramatically as Bering Sea temperatures did. Panel A shows the number of days characterized by marine heat wave conditions for the Northern and Southeastern Bering Sea and the annual average sea surface temperature from 2003 to 2023. Panel B shows estimates of post-juvenile natural mortality with dashed vertical red lines marking the 2016-2020 heat wave period. (Graph provided by NOAA Fisheries)

But the information about spiking mortality among adults and older juveniles was new, the NOAA scientists said. That new trend represents “an apparent shift in the critical life history stages and processes” for Yukon River chinook, and a potential bottleneck limiting population recovery, the study said.

Exactly how the heat wave conditions caused deaths of salmon at sea is yet to be determined, the study said. It listed several factors that could have worked in combination, including lack of suitable prey, infections by the parasite Ichthyophonus and other diseases, as well as increased energy demands brought on by warmer temperatures.

Harvests, either intentional or as bycatch, did not emerge as important factors in the recent Yukon chinook declines, the study found.

The study contained some warnings.

Even though the marine heat wave conditions have eased, the abundance of prey that salmon need in the ocean has not returned to normal, it noted. And mortality rates in those later life stages continue to be higher than they were prior to the latest heat wave.

And the heat problems for older salmon are likely to become more common in years to come, the study said.

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“Given that marine heatwaves are expected to become more frequent and severe with continued warming . . . similar rises in mortality—and concomitant limitation of productivity and recovery potential—as described here could become increasingly common in the future,” the study said.

An earlier study by NOAA Fisheries and the Alaska Department of Fish and Game tied successive heatwaves in both the Bering Sea and Gulf of Alaska to sharp declines in chum salmon stocks. That 2023 study also pointed to higher mortality out in the ocean.

Originally published by the Alaska Beacon, an independent, nonpartisan news organization that covers Alaska state government.





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