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Red Sox star Jarren Duran opens up about trying to take his own life: 'I didn’t even want to be here anymore'

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Red Sox star Jarren Duran opens up about trying to take his own life: 'I didn’t even want to be here anymore'

This story discusses suicide. If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 or 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

The Boston Red Sox are the subject for Netflix’s latest behind-the-scenes docuseries, entitled “The Clubhouse: A Year With the Red Sox.”

One of the interviews conducted during the 2024 season was with outfielder Jarren Duran, who had a breakout All-Star campaign. But the interview was quite the serious one, as he discussed his 2021 and 2022 seasons, which he said fueled his attempted suicide. 

Duran has been open about his mental health struggles he’s dealt with, as he wasn’t meeting his high expectations within the organization to start his big league career. 

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Jarren Duran #16 of the Boston Red Sox prepares to bat against the Kansas City Royals at Kauffman Stadium on Aug. 5, 2024 in Kansas City, Missouri. (Ed Zurga/Getty Images)

He revealed that he got the point where “I was sitting in my room. I had my rifle, and I had a bullet, and I pulled the trigger, and the gun clicked, but nothing happened.”

“To this day, I think God just didn’t let me take my own life because I seriously don’t know why it didn’t go off. I took it as a sign of, ‘I might have to be here for a reason,’ so that’s when I started to look myself in the mirror after the gun didn’t go off,” Duran said in the docuseries, per ESPN. “I was like, ‘Do I want to be here, or do I not want to be here? That happened for a reason, and obviously you’re here for a reason, so let’s be the way you want to be and play [the way] you want to play and live the way you want to live.’”

Duran detailed being in a dark place while hearing fans berate him in the outfield during games. They were yelling to him to go back to Triple-A Worcester, and many other things that only added to how he felt.

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“I was already hearing it from fans,” he said. “And what they said to me, [it was like],‘I’ve told myself 10 times worse in the mirror. That was a really tough time for me. I didn’t even want to be here anymore.”

Duran was a rookie during the 2021 season, when he slashed .215/.241/.336 with a .578 OPS over 33 games. He hit three doubles, two triples and two homers with 10 RBI that year. 

His 2022 campaign wasn’t much better, as he hit .221 with three homers and 17 RBI over 58 games (204 at-bats).

However, Duran turned things around in 2023, as he slashed .295/.346/.482 with 34 doubles, eight homers and 40 RBI over 102 games for Boston. 

Manager Alex Cora #13 of the Boston Red Sox reacts with Jarren Duran #16 of the Boston Red Sox as he is presented with the Heart & Hustle Award before a game against the Houston Astros on August 11, 2024 at Fenway Park in Boston, Massachusetts. (Maddie Malhotra/Boston Red Sox/Getty Images)

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He had a career year in 2024, leading MLB in doubles (48), triples (14), at-bats (671) and plate appearances (735), while belting 21 homers with 75 RBI. 

Duran also made his first career All-Star Game, earning MVP honors after belting a home run that helped the American League beat the National League. 

There was some controversy with Duran last season, though, as MLB suspended him two games for saying an anti-gay slur toward a fan. He would quickly apologize, saying that he was sorry for his actions and would work to be better from his mistake. 

“Jarren’s decision to share his story is an act of courage that reaches far beyond baseball,” Red Sox president and CEO Sam Kennedy said in a statement, via ESPN. “By opening up, he’s showing others who may be struggling that they’re not alone and that asking for help isn’t just OK, it’s essential.

Jarren Duran #16 of the Boston Red Sox reacts with a 2024 Boston Marathon medal before a game against the Houston Astros on August 10, 2024 at Fenway Park in Boston, Massachusetts.  (Maddie Malhotra/Boston Red Sox/Getty Images)

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“Every member of this organization continues to stand with him.”

So far this season, Duran is hitting .239 (11-for-46) with two doubles, one triple and seven RBI over 10 games. 

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Philip Rivers delivers vintage first half performance for Colts, delighting NFL fans

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Philip Rivers delivers vintage first half performance for Colts, delighting NFL fans

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Philip Rivers’ return to the NFL has many former quarterbacks over the age of 40 wondering if they could turn back the clock and perform at a similarly high level.

If anything, they should at least take note of what Rivers did in the first half for the Indianapolis Colts against the San Francisco 49ers.

Indianapolis Colts quarterback Philip Rivers (17) passes as San Francisco 49ers defensive lineman Keion White (56) applies pressure during the first half of an NFL football game, Monday, Dec. 22, 2025, in Indianapolis. (AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster)

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The Pro Football Hall of Fame Class of 2026 semifinalist put on a vintage performance in the first half against the 49ers, delighting NFL fans who tuned into the game on Monday night.

He started the night coming out to cheers from Colts fans at Lucas Oil Stadium – his family also in attendance. The Colts went nine plays, 72 yards and Rivers found wide receiver Alec Pierce for a 20-yard touchdown. Indianapolis jumped out to a 7-0 lead.

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Indianapolis Colts quarterback Philip Rivers (17) passes against the San Francisco 49ers during the first half of an NFL football game, Monday, Dec. 22, 2025, in Indianapolis.  (AP Photo/AJ Mast)

San Francisco scored on back-to-back drives thanks to Brock Purdy hooking up with Demarcus Robinson, the special teams forcing a turnover, and then Purdy throwing a touchdown pass to Christian McCaffrey. When Rivers got the ball back, he drove down the field again.

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The Colts scored on a 16-yard touchdown pass from Rivers to Pierce to end a 12-play, 66-yard drive. The game was tied with a lot of time to go in the first half.

Indianapolis trailed 24-17 at the half. But the attention was on Rivers.

He was 14-of-21 with 175 passing yards and two touchdown passes. The last time he threw multiple touchdown passes in the regular season was on Dec. 20, 2020, against the Houston Texans.

Rivers came back to the Colts last week at the age of 44. He had a solid performance against the Seattle Seahawks for someone who hadn’t thrown a ball in nearly five years.

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Now, the Colts’ playoff hopes rest on his shoulders.

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Commentary: Notre Dame’s leaders are cowards for backing out of USC football rivalry

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Commentary: Notre Dame’s leaders are cowards for backing out of USC football rivalry

The world of college football may be awash in uncertainty, but the last several weeks have proven one thing beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Nobody runs like Notre Dame.

When the Irish got jobbed by the College Football Playoff committee and insanely were left out of the CFP, they refused to play another game this season.

Notre Dame ran from the Pop Tarts Bowl.

Then came Monday’s announcement that Notre Dame no longer will regularly play USC, essentially ending a 100-year-old rivalry because the Irish didn’t want to change the dates of the game.

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Notre Dame ran from the Trojans.

Call them the Fightin’ Chickens, a once-proud Irish program that demands acquiescence or it will take its ball and go home.

The Irish could have played USC at the beginning of the season, but refused. The Irish could have kept the rivalry alive with a scheduling tweak that would have helped both teams, but refused.

Lots of folks are going to blame USC and coach Lincoln Riley for butchering a Knute Rockne-born tradition that accounted for 78 straight games, not counting 2020, the COVID-19 year. That’s wrong. Nobody has been more critical of Riley than this space, but he’s not the bad guy here.

Anybody who felt the buzz around the CFP first-round games last weekend would attest, this is where USC needs to be playing. If the Trojans truly want to return to greatness, being selected for the CFP is the goal. Not beating Notre Dame. Not even beating UCLA. It’s all about the tournament.

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USC needs to put itself in the best possible position to be playing on a mid-December weekend, and that means no longer being the only Big Ten school to play a major nonconference game in the middle of the season or later.

The schedule has become tough enough. The Trojans don’t need to make it tougher with the kind of game nobody else in their conference is playing.

They need Notre Dame in August, not in late October or mid-November.

But, as it turns out, Notre Dame believes it doesn’t need USC at all.

The Irish signed a deal with the CFP that stipulates, beginning next year, if they are ranked in the top 12, they are guaranteed a playoff berth. They can get in the playoffs without risking a loss to the Trojans. They can play it safe and schedule easy and back right in.

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USC doesn’t have that luxury. USC isn’t guaranteed squat. USC has a 2026 schedule that even without Notre Dame is a nightmare.

USC and Notre Dame prepare to play in a packed Notre Dame Stadium in October 2023.

(Michael Caterina / Associated Press)

Home games against Ohio State and Oregon. Road games at Indiana and Penn State.

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USC doesn’t need a midseason game against Notre Dame making that road even harder.

Jennifer Cohen, the USC athletic director, said as much in a recently posted open letter to the Trojans community.

“USC is the only team in the Big Ten to play a nonconference road game after Week 4 in either of the past two seasons,” she wrote. “USC is also the only team to play a nonconference game after Week 4 in both seasons.”

Trojans fans love the rivalry. The college football world loves the rivalry. It’s Anthony Davis, it’s Carson Palmer, it’s the Bush Push, it has won Heismans and cemented championships.

But times have changed. The landscape is evolving. Everything that college football once represented is up for debate. Even the most venerable of traditions is subject to adjustments.

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That’s what the Trojans wanted to do. Not eliminate, but adjust. But Notre Dame football adjusts for no one.

It was indeed a travesty that the two-loss Irish, winners of their last 10 games by double digits, did not get a spot in the national tournament. By the end of the season they were arguably one of the four best teams in the country. They easily could have captured the crown.

Tulane? James Madison? Are you kidding me? As the opening games revealed — the two AAA teams were outscored 92-44 — there is no place for Cinderellas in the CFP.

But that was no reason for Notre Dame to back out of the bowls completely, sacrificing the final game in the careers of the Irish players who will not be going to the NFL just to make a whining point that resonated with nobody.

And, besides, there’s another way Notre Dame could have been a lock for the playoffs.

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Join a conference, fool!

By keeping the football team out of the otherwise Irish-infected Atlantic Coast Conference, Notre Dame is raking in big TV bucks that it doesn’t have to share. But this means the Irish are subject to the whims of a committee that could, and did, unconscionably leave them out.

Notre Dame always wants it both ways. It wants its independence, but also wants to dictate a schedule filled with conference-affiliated teams.

In demanding that their game be played in August or not at all, USC finally called Notre Dame’s bluff.

And the Irish did what they recently have done best.

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They ran.

The team that initially will replace USC on the Notre Dame schedule?

It’s Brigham Young, the same team that Notre Dame snubbed in the Pop Tarts Bowl.

Put that in your toaster and cook it.

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Jerry Jones opens up on Cowboys’ shortcomings during 2025 season

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Jerry Jones opens up on Cowboys’ shortcomings during 2025 season

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The Dallas Cowboys’ Super Bowl drought increased to 30 years as the team was eliminated from playoff contention on Saturday and then lost to the Los Angeles Chargers on Sunday.

The Cowboys showed tremendous heart during the season after the defense was gutted when star pass rusher Micah Parsons was traded to the Green Bay Packers. Dallas picked up big wins over the Kansas City Chiefs, Philadelphia Eagles and New York Giants, as well as a tie with the Packers.

Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones before a game against the Minnesota Vikings at AT&T Stadium on Dec. 14, 2025. (Kevin Jairaj/Imagn Images)

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Ultimately, the Cowboys lost their last three games and found themselves on the outside looking in on the playoffs once more. Dallas dropped to 6-8-1 after the loss to Los Angeles, and team owner Jerry Jones opened up about some of the team’s shortcomings.

“I really am better when I’m getting my a– kicked than I am when I’m having success,” he said, via The Athletic. “I’ve seen some of the decisions I’ve made work.

“We get one team that gets to go to that Super Bowl every year. Two that get to go to those (conference championship) playoff games. I’m looking forward next year to getting back in that championship game and maybe beyond. And then I’ll be right at the top of the list of how long it’s been since you’ve been to one. And that’s how you do it. Right at the top. And this will all go away.”

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Dallas Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott (4) prepares to pass during the first half of an NFL football game against the Los Angeles Chargers, Sunday, Dec. 21, 2025, in Arlington, Texas. (AP Photo/Julio Cortez)

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Jones did take away some positivity from the 2025 season. He acknowledged the team “underachieved” but there were some things that the team could carry forward into 2026.

Particularly, Jones said he was impressed with how Dak Prescott played during the year.

Prescott has 4,175 passing yards and 28 touchdown passes this season. He’s leading the NFL in completions (378) and passing attempts (552). Both George Pickens and CeeDee Lamb eclipsed 1,000 receiving yards for the season.

“I am pleased with what we have in Dak, very pleased going forward,” he said, via the team’s website. “Nothing we’ve done so far this season gives me anything but optimism about going forward at one of the key, if not the key position.”

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Dallas has the Washington Commanders and the New York Giants left on its schedule.

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