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Red Sox star Jarren Duran opens up about trying to take his own life: 'I didn’t even want to be here anymore'

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Red Sox star Jarren Duran opens up about trying to take his own life: 'I didn’t even want to be here anymore'

This story discusses suicide. If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 or 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

The Boston Red Sox are the subject for Netflix’s latest behind-the-scenes docuseries, entitled “The Clubhouse: A Year With the Red Sox.”

One of the interviews conducted during the 2024 season was with outfielder Jarren Duran, who had a breakout All-Star campaign. But the interview was quite the serious one, as he discussed his 2021 and 2022 seasons, which he said fueled his attempted suicide. 

Duran has been open about his mental health struggles he’s dealt with, as he wasn’t meeting his high expectations within the organization to start his big league career. 

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Jarren Duran #16 of the Boston Red Sox prepares to bat against the Kansas City Royals at Kauffman Stadium on Aug. 5, 2024 in Kansas City, Missouri. (Ed Zurga/Getty Images)

He revealed that he got the point where “I was sitting in my room. I had my rifle, and I had a bullet, and I pulled the trigger, and the gun clicked, but nothing happened.”

“To this day, I think God just didn’t let me take my own life because I seriously don’t know why it didn’t go off. I took it as a sign of, ‘I might have to be here for a reason,’ so that’s when I started to look myself in the mirror after the gun didn’t go off,” Duran said in the docuseries, per ESPN. “I was like, ‘Do I want to be here, or do I not want to be here? That happened for a reason, and obviously you’re here for a reason, so let’s be the way you want to be and play [the way] you want to play and live the way you want to live.’”

Duran detailed being in a dark place while hearing fans berate him in the outfield during games. They were yelling to him to go back to Triple-A Worcester, and many other things that only added to how he felt.

RED SOX’S JARREN DURAN SUSPENDED AFTER USING ANTI-GAY SLUR DURING GAME

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“I was already hearing it from fans,” he said. “And what they said to me, [it was like],‘I’ve told myself 10 times worse in the mirror. That was a really tough time for me. I didn’t even want to be here anymore.”

Duran was a rookie during the 2021 season, when he slashed .215/.241/.336 with a .578 OPS over 33 games. He hit three doubles, two triples and two homers with 10 RBI that year. 

His 2022 campaign wasn’t much better, as he hit .221 with three homers and 17 RBI over 58 games (204 at-bats).

However, Duran turned things around in 2023, as he slashed .295/.346/.482 with 34 doubles, eight homers and 40 RBI over 102 games for Boston. 

Jarren Duran and Alex Cora

Manager Alex Cora #13 of the Boston Red Sox reacts with Jarren Duran #16 of the Boston Red Sox as he is presented with the Heart & Hustle Award before a game against the Houston Astros on August 11, 2024 at Fenway Park in Boston, Massachusetts. (Maddie Malhotra/Boston Red Sox/Getty Images)

He had a career year in 2024, leading MLB in doubles (48), triples (14), at-bats (671) and plate appearances (735), while belting 21 homers with 75 RBI. 

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Duran also made his first career All-Star Game, earning MVP honors after belting a home run that helped the American League beat the National League. 

There was some controversy with Duran last season, though, as MLB suspended him two games for saying an anti-gay slur toward a fan. He would quickly apologize, saying that he was sorry for his actions and would work to be better from his mistake. 

“Jarren’s decision to share his story is an act of courage that reaches far beyond baseball,” Red Sox president and CEO Sam Kennedy said in a statement, via ESPN. “By opening up, he’s showing others who may be struggling that they’re not alone and that asking for help isn’t just OK, it’s essential.

Jarren Duran gets a Boston Marathonmedal

Jarren Duran #16 of the Boston Red Sox reacts with a 2024 Boston Marathon medal before a game against the Houston Astros on August 10, 2024 at Fenway Park in Boston, Massachusetts.  (Maddie Malhotra/Boston Red Sox/Getty Images)

“Every member of this organization continues to stand with him.”

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So far this season, Duran is hitting .239 (11-for-46) with two doubles, one triple and seven RBI over 10 games. 

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Jordan Love 'excited' to face Aaron Rodgers when Packers meet Steelers, hopes to exchange jerseys

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Jordan Love 'excited' to face Aaron Rodgers when Packers meet Steelers, hopes to exchange jerseys

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With Aaron Rodgers officially signing with the Pittsburgh Steelers, he’s set for some pretty fun reunions on the 2025 schedule. 

Not only will he be facing his former New York Jets teammates in a Week 1 battle, but the Steelers will also be hosting the team Rodgers won four league MVP trophies with over his future Hall of Fame career.

And Rodgers’ Green Bay Packers successor, Jordan Love, can’t wait for the “Sunday Night Football” reunion.

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Green Bay Packers quarterback Jordan Love (Lon Horwedel-Imagn Images)

The Packers and Steelers will square off on Oct. 26 at Acrisure Stadium in the primetime slot, and Love told Channel 3000 during his round of golf at the American Family Insurance Championship on Friday how much he’s looking forward to it. 

“It’s going to be fun. It’s going to be awesome. I’m excited for it,” Love said. “I can’t wait to be on different sides, meeting up, and I know we’ll talk pregame, things like that. And hopefully we can exchange jerseys after.”

AARON RODGERS OFFICIALLY SIGNS ONE-YEAR CONTRACT WITH STEELERS WORTH OVER $13 MILLION: REPORT

Love was taken 26th overall in the 2020 NFL Draft, which shocked some considering Rodgers was showing no signs of slowing down under center. 

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Well, it seems to light an extra fire in his belly, as Rodgers went on to win back-to-back MVP awards in the 2020 and 2021 seasons while Love learned behind him as his backup. But in 2022, Rodgers saw his final season with the Packers after an 8-9 record, and Green Bay made it clear who was next up. 

Love took all the lessons he learned from Rodgers and cemented himself as the team’s quarterback of the future, going 9-8 with 4,159 yards passing with 32 touchdowns to 11 interceptions in his third NFL season (first as the team’s starter). 

Aaron Rodgers vs Rams

Aaron Rodgers (AP Photo/Seth Wenig, File)

The Packers signed Love to an extension before the 2024 season, and though he dealt with an early injury, he went 9-6 over his 15 games to lead his team to the playoffs as Green Bay went 11-6. 

While Love is looking to keep stacking up playoff seasons, he was tapped into Rodgers’ offseason journey this year, saying he wasn’t “too surprised” to see him choose Pittsburgh. 

“I was excited for him, that he was obviously coming back and going to be playing. There were also some rumors that he might be done, so just knowing he’s going to keep playing, that’s pretty awesome.”

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Love reiterated what he’s said in the past about Rodgers, that he was a good mentor while they were teammates despite Green Bay drafting Rodgers’ successor.

After all, Rodgers went through it himself when he was drafted as Brett Favre’s replacement.

Aaron Rodgers and Jordan Love side by side

Jordan Love and Aaron Rodgers will be facing off against each other after the latter signed with the Pittsburgh Steelers. (IMAGN)

“I appreciate definitely the way A-Rod handled being in that situation, and I think a big part of it – which he told me – was he knew how it was for him being in that same position and the things that he went through and the way the situation might’ve been handled [differently]. I think perspective was: ‘I’m trying to go about this a little bit differently,’ which I think was awesome,” Love explained.

“In my time with A-Rod, we had a great relationship. It was awesome being in the same room with him, being able to learn.”

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After a 12-year wait, UCLA is back in the Men's College World Series

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After a 12-year wait, UCLA is back in the Men's College World Series

Since coming to Westwood, Roch Cholowsky has had Omaha on his mind.

The Big Ten Player of the Year — a projected No. 1 overall pick in the 2026 MLB draft by some analysts — turned Charles Schwab Field in Omaha into a playground during the Big Ten tournament, winning player of the tournament honors despite UCLA not claiming the championship.

So far, in the NCAA tournament, Cholowsky had been uncharacteristically quiet for his standards. He still made hard plays look easy as a “premium shortstop” — as UCLA coach John Savage glowed about his defensive skills — but his bat wasn’t making its usual noise.

Lagging behind for Cholowsky isn’t the same for the rest of Division I baseball. The Arizona-raised team captain was still hitting .333 through the regionals and super regionals entering Sunday. A big swing, however, had yet to come — Cholowsky flying out to the deep outfield on numerous occasions across the last two weeks.

“He’s just trying to do too much, probably,” Savage reasoned after Game 1 of the Los Angeles super regional on Saturday. “All he cares about is winning. That’s all what these guys all care about. We like an average Roch. Average Roch is pretty good.”

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Cholowsky finally had his moment Sunday. He did a little too much, as Savage said, trying to catch Texas San Antonio’s defense sleeping and got picked off at third base in the fifth. But his big swing finally arrived — a swing that helped deliver the Bruins to Omaha.

“I ran out and told [starting pitcher Conor Myles] not to throw a strike to Roch,” said Pat Hallmark, Texas San Antonio coach. “He threw him a strike.”

Cholowsky’s RBI single off that strike in the fifth, a part of his two-for-five day, clinched UCLA’s spot in the Men’s College World Series with a 7-0 victory over Texas San Antonio . The two-game sweep of the Roadrunners gave the Bruins their sixth berth to Omaha and first since 2013, when they won it all.

UCLA players celebrate after defeating Texas San Antonio to win the L.A. Super Regional on Sunday to advance to the Men’s College World Series.

(Ross Turteltaub / UCLA Athletics)

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“It’s not easy, but I think we have the right cast of characters in terms of just people, great people on this team, people that want to represent UCLA,” Savage said.

Cholowsky, whose trip to Omaha as a high school senior convinced him of going to UCLA rather than becoming a likely first-round MLB draft selection, will now get his wish. The shortstop fell to the ground as Phoenix Call caught the final out in shallow right field, holding his head to the dirt. Cholowsky then leapt up, his teammates already celebrating at the center of the diamond. He joined them, jumping in glee; his dreams, realized.

“This is surreal to me,” Cholowsky said. “It’s just something that I’ve dreamed of for as long as I can remember, and then just getting back there and getting to go experience that a couple years ago just added that much more fire to the dream. I haven’t wrapped my head around it.”

Savage said UCLA being able to live a full week in Omaha during the Big Ten tournament last month gave the Bruins an idea of what the College World Series environment will be like.

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“I think it’s huge for us,” Cholowsky said. “Using that next week I feel like going to help us. Same ballpark, same everything.”

Whereas Cholowsky may be one of the most well-known Bruins baseball players in recent memory, it was a little-playing junior who broke a scoreless game. Outfielder Toussaint Bythewood, a Harvard-Westlake alumnus, dunk a soft line drive into right field for a two-out RBI single against Myles.

UCLA sophomore infielder Roman Martin follows through on a hit against Texas San Antonio on Sunday.

UCLA sophomore infielder Roman Martin follows through on a hit against Texas San Antonio on Sunday.

(Ross Turteltaub / UCLA Athletics)

Bythewood, who had started twice all season and taken just 12 at bats entering the game, provided the Bruins with their winning swing. UCLA added two insurance runs in the eighth and three in the ninth to build enough distance for its arms to pitch a little more comfortably as the Roadrunners ran out of outs.

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“Toussaint’s been really consistent in practice,” Savage said. “He should have had more opportunities at the end of the day. He was ready for that opportunity — hadn’t come up with a huge hit. So happy for Toussaint.”

A UTSA offense that was dominant in an Austin Regional sweep a week ago, exited with a whimper, rallying just four hits against UCLA’s pitching staff. Starting pitcher Landon Stump couldn’t get through the fifth, but the Bruins’ relief pitchers carried the brunt of the battle to shut out the Roadrunners.

Left-hander Chris Grothues tied a career high with 2 ⅔ scoreless innings, striking out two and making a nifty play to catch a popped-up bunt to end the sixth. Righties Cal Randall and August Souza bridged the gap to the ninth, where freshman closer Easton Hawk shut the door.

“They pounded a zone pretty good,” Savage said. “We walked two guys in two games, and it just seemed like we were very competitive. … Today, just a lot of contributions from a lot of different guys.”

Across the final five innings, the Bruins’ bullpen no-hit the Roadrunners.

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Savage, who is in the 12th and final year of the contract extension that UCLA rewarded him with after winning the 2013 national championship, will get his long-awaited chance to revisit old memories and create new ones as the Bruins attempt to win their second national championship beginning next weekend in Omaha.

“It just tells you one thing — how difficult it is to get there,” Savage said about finally returning to Omaha after 12 years. “It’s great to be back and looking forward to the challenge.”

What advice does Savage have for his team at the Men’s College World Series?

“Enjoy the moment, enjoy the process, enjoy the journey,” he said.

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Trump's UFC 316 appearance draws massive ovation in New Jersey, fighter celebrates with him after win

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Trump's UFC 316 appearance draws massive ovation in New Jersey, fighter celebrates with him after win

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President Donald Trump was back at UFC, and the Prudential Center in Newark, New Jersey, didn’t disappoint with the welcome. 

A thunderous roar befell the sold-out crowd at “The Rock” on Saturday night, as Trump walked into the building with UFC CEO Dana White ahead of a UFC 316 stacked main card.

Trump did his signature dance as he walked along the arena floor, greeting UFC fans as he made his way to his seat ringside. 

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President Donald Trump shakes hands with Secretary of State Marco Rubio before the start of UFC 316 at Prudential Center in Newark, N.J., Saturday. (Pool)

This was a similar welcome he got at the Kaseya Center in Miami at UFC 314, where he had a large entourage with him, including his granddaughter Kai Trump and FBI Director Kash Patel, among others. 

While Secretary of State Marco Rubio and Ivanka Trump were among those with him in New Jersey on Saturday night, someone who has been there at past events wasn’t. 

LOGAN PAUL MAKES PUSH FOR DONALD TRUMP AND ELON MUSK WWE-STYLE FACEOFF

Elon Musk, who was with Trump in Miami, didn’t walk out with him this time as their feud continues. Trump and Musk have spent the past few days quarreling on social media after the feud began after Musk started “wearing thin” on the 47th president for about a month, Fox News senior White House correspondent Peter Doocy reported on Friday. 

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The sparring on social media led many to offer their opinion on the matter, including some in the sports world, like boxer Jake Paul.

“One of the problems with the Republican Party is on display today (As a current Republican) We unfortunately have these Alpha male egos and leaders who aren’t mature enough sometimes. They’re 50+ years old and diss tweeting each other Elon and Trump are great but they need to work together and not make America look bad,” Paul wrote on X. 

Donald Trump at UFC 316

President Donald Trump attends UFC 316 at Prudential Center in Newark, N.J., Saturday. (Pool)

His older brother, Logan Paul, even teased a WWE-style showdown between Trump and Musk on his social platforms. The elder Paul is a star in WWE now. 

Trump was already in New Jersey ahead of Saturday night’s fight at his golf course in Bedminster. He also commented on Truth Social about New Jersey’s Primary coming up on Tuesday, where he endorsed Republican candidate Jack Ciattarelli for governor. 

“The Great State of New Jersey has a very important Primary coming up on Tuesday. Get Out and Vote for Jack Ciattarelli, who has my Complete and Total Endorsement! His Opponents are going around saying they have my Endorsement, which is not true, I don’t even know who they are! We can’t play games when it comes to Elections, and New Jersey is a very important State that we must WIN. The whole World is watching. Vote for Jack Ciattarelli to, MAKE NEW JERSEY GREAT AGAIN!” Trump wrote. 

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When it was time to watch some fights, California’s Kevin Holland defeated Brazil’s Vicente Luque by submission, and he jumped out of the octagon to shake hands with a few including Trump. They exchanged some words before Holland continued his celebration. 

U.S. President Donald Trump is seen in attendance during the UFC 316 event at Prudential Center, in Newark, N.J., Saturday. 

U.S. President Donald Trump is seen in attendance during the UFC 316 event at Prudential Center, in Newark, N.J., Saturday.  (Ed Mulholland/Zuffa LLC)

UFC fighters have been seen shaking hands with Trump after victories in the past. 

The main event for this UFC 316 card will be the second chapter of “Suga” Sean O’Malley against Merab Dvalishvili, the latter of whom won by decision in their first bout. 

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