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Tortured by regret? Here’s a trick to make peace with the past

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Tortured by regret? Here’s a trick to make peace with the past

We all have regrets. And they come in myriad shapes and sizes. Some people stew over a minor bad decision, like an unnecessary impulse purchase. Others ruminate over major fork-in-the-road moments, like turning down a potentially exciting career opportunity. For some, regret might be slow-brewing indecision that amounts to loss, like not having children.

But what if you could reimagine your memories — both recent and from long ago — to vanquish feelings of regret?

That’s the focus of a new study, “Reining in regret: emotion regulation modulates regret in decision making,” co-authored by Temple University’s Crystal Reeck and Kevin LaBar, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Duke University.

The study, published in the journal “Cognition and Emotion” in June, employed a gambling framework — you win some, you lose some — to explore participants’ decision-making processes. Sixty people were individually presented with several pairs of bets, each representing different probabilities of winning or losing real money. They were paid $10 for the one hour of questioning as well as bonus money for points they’d racked up during the experiment. If they answered questions incorrectly, they lost real money and may have felt a pang of — you guessed it — regret.

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Reeck and LaBar were able to gauge the intensity of their regret through questioning and psychophysiological recordings that measured how participants’ bodies were experiencing emotion at the time.

Participants were encouraged to use two different emotional regulation strategies when faced with uncertainty during the study. The first, which researchers called the “portfolio approach,” encouraged them to recognize that not every decision will work out, and to focus on the big picture in the long run.

“The idea is not to experience as many individual highs and lows but to smooth out your reactions and be more even-keeled,” Reeck said.

The second strategy was an “all my money on one bet” approach, which focused on each gamble as if it was the only one.

“What we found was: using the portfolio approach led people to experience less regret and have less strong emotional reactions during the decision-making task,” Reeck said.

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That same approach can be applied to decision making in real life by traveling down memory lane, reviewing past decisions and assigning a different framework to them, Reeck says. The end goal? To make better choices in the present and, ultimately, experience less regret.

“Inevitably, every choice we make doesn’t work out,” Reeck says. “We are all going to experience some losses. But when you try to focus on the gains, it is easier to not be bogged down by past regrets.”

We spoke with Reeck by phone to learn more about how we can use her findings to get over our regrets — no matter what size they come.

This interview has been lightly edited for length and clarity.

Why was regret an especially attractive emotion for you to work with? Were you seeing anything in society or the people around you that drew you to the idea?

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Regret is ubiquitous. When a decision doesn’t work out the way we had hoped, and we see that if we did something else things would have been better, we experience regret. And the especially challenging thing about regret is we can experience it even for decisions we’re contemplating but haven’t made. For example, you might consider getting a sports car but then imagine how you would feel if it broke down and needed maintenance. That anticipated feeling of regret could lead you to choose a safer vehicle.

I worked on this project in my 20s and 30s, a time when friends and family were making a lot of big decisions — getting married, changing jobs, pursuing more education, making their first big purchases. And I noticed that some of the worry around those big choices is that they’ll regret something. Understanding better how regret works and how to overcome regret can help people navigate those big decisions, including when it doesn’t work out. So that was part of the draw.

What role does regret play in our lives and what’s at stake when we seek to reshape our feelings around it?

Regret can help us learn from our mistakes. Especially when there was a better option we could have chosen, those negative feelings of regret can help us choose more wisely in the future. And anticipated regret — like with the sports car — can help us avoid risky decisions. The problem is: sometimes regret can lead us astray, like when we used a good process and made a good choice, it just didn’t work out in your favor this time. Regret can steer you away, when you should actually make that same decision again in the future.

A key example of where this comes up is the stock market. Sometimes, like in recent weeks, the stock market may drop dramatically. You might feel regret that you lost money and pull your investment. But that’s not what you should do if your reasoning for being invested was sound — you’ll just end up missing out when the market recovers.

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Tell us about the study itself. Why did you employ a gambling framework?

We needed a way to induce people to feel regret in the lab so we could study it. To do that, we asked them to make decisions between two different options that each had some risk — there were no guaranteed outcomes. At some point, people choose an option that makes less money than the other option would have made, leading them to feel regret.

How can we use the gambling framework to reshape our own feelings of regret?

Think about overall how you made the decision. If the logic or approach you used was sound, you can feel more comfortable with the choice. You probably just got unlucky and if you made the same decision 10 times it would have worked out in most of them.

One of the cool things about regret is there is a formula for calculating its influence on decision making. So you can look at things like pursuing the options with the highest value and if regret is interfering with that. We found that for many of our participants, the portfolio approach led them to make better decisions that were less influenced by regret.

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Here’s a scenario: I’m an adult with a gnawing regret— let’s say it’s not buying the house of my dreams when I could afford it. How do I use your framework to reshape my regret?

Focus on your reasons for not buying the house — were they sound and did they make sense with the information you had at the time? If so, give yourself some grace for the choice you made. And remember that feeling of regret when the next once-in-a-lifetime opportunity comes along.

How can we reimagine our memories to alter past feelings of regret? Walk us through that exercise.

Think back to where you were when you made the decision. What information did you have at the time? And did you use what you knew well? Was the way you approached the decision reasonable and did you use a good strategy? If so, offer yourself some grace. Remember that you win some, you lose some.

Think about if the decision you made had actually happened 10 times instead of just 1. Would you get the outcome you wanted most of the time, and you just got unlucky? Keep in mind you just want to do well overall, even if the occasional decision doesn’t work out.

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Cluster of farmworkers diagnosed with rare animal-borne disease in Ventura County

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Cluster of farmworkers diagnosed with rare animal-borne disease in Ventura County

A cluster of workers at Ventura County berry farms have been diagnosed with a rare disease often transmitted through sick animals’ urine, according to a public health advisory distributed to local doctors by county health officials Tuesday.

The bacterial infection, leptospirosis, has resulted in severe symptoms for some workers, including meningitis, an inflammation of the brain lining and spinal cord. Symptoms for mild cases included headaches and fevers.

The disease, which can be fatal, rarely spreads from human to human, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Ventura County Public Health has not given an official case count but said it had not identified any cases outside of the agriculture sector. The county’s agriculture commissioner was aware of 18 cases, the Ventura County Star reported.

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The health department said it was first contacted by a local physician in October, who reported an unusual trend in symptoms among hospital patients.

After launching an investigation, the department identified leptospirosis as a probable cause of the illness and found most patients worked on caneberry farms that utilize hoop houses — greenhouse structures to shelter the crops.

As the investigation to identify any additional cases and the exact sources of exposure continues, Ventura County Public Health has asked healthcare providers to consider a leptospirosis diagnosis for sick agricultural workers, particularly berry harvesters.

Rodents are a common source and transmitter of disease, though other mammals — including livestock, cats and dogs — can transmit it as well.

The disease is spread through bodily fluids, such as urine, and is often contracted through cuts and abrasions that contact contaminated water and soil, where the bacteria can survive for months.

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Humans can also contract the illness through contaminated food; however, the county health agency has found no known health risks to the general public, including through the contact or consumption of caneberries such as raspberries and blackberries.

Symptom onset typically occurs between two and 30 days after exposure, and symptoms can last for months if untreated, according to the CDC.

The illness often begins with mild symptoms, with fevers, chills, vomiting and headaches. Some cases can then enter a second, more severe phase that can result in kidney or liver failure.

Ventura County Public Health recommends agriculture and berry harvesters regularly rinse any cuts with soap and water and cover them with bandages. They also recommend wearing waterproof clothing and protection while working outdoors, including gloves and long-sleeve shirts and pants.

While there is no evidence of spread to the larger community, according to the department, residents should wash hands frequently and work to control rodents around their property if possible.

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Pet owners can consult a veterinarian about leptospirosis vaccinations and should keep pets away from ponds, lakes and other natural bodies of water.

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Political stress: Can you stay engaged without sacrificing your mental health?

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Political stress: Can you stay engaged without sacrificing your mental health?

It’s been two weeks since Donald Trump won the presidential election, but Stacey Lamirand’s brain hasn’t stopped churning.

“I still think about the election all the time,” said the 60-year-old Bay Area resident, who wanted a Kamala Harris victory so badly that she flew to Pennsylvania and knocked on voters’ doors in the final days of the campaign. “I honestly don’t know what to do about that.”

Neither do the psychologists and political scientists who have been tracking the country’s slide toward toxic levels of partisanship.

Fully 69% of U.S. adults found the presidential election a significant source of stress in their lives, the American Psychological Assn. said in its latest Stress in America report.

The distress was present across the political spectrum, with 80% of Republicans, 79% of Democrats and 73% of independents surveyed saying they were stressed about the country’s future.

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That’s unhealthy for the body politic — and for voters themselves. Stress can cause muscle tension, headaches, sleep problems and loss of appetite. Chronic stress can inflict more serious damage to the immune system and make people more vulnerable to heart attacks, strokes, diabetes, infertility, clinical anxiety, depression and other ailments.

In most circumstances, the sound medical advice is to disengage from the source of stress, therapists said. But when stress is coming from politics, that prescription pits the health of the individual against the health of the nation.

“I’m worried about people totally withdrawing from politics because it’s unpleasant,” said Aaron Weinschenk, a political scientist at the University of Wisconsin–Green Bay who studies political behavior and elections. “We don’t want them to do that. But we also don’t want them to feel sick.”

Modern life is full of stressors of all kinds: paying bills, pleasing difficult bosses, getting along with frenemies, caring for children or aging parents (or both).

The stress that stems from politics isn’t fundamentally different from other kinds of stress. What’s unique about it is the way it encompasses and enhances other sources of stress, said Brett Ford, a social psychologist at the University of Toronto who studies the link between emotions and political engagement.

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For instance, she said, elections have the potential to make everyday stressors like money and health concerns more difficult to manage as candidates debate policies that could raise the price of gas or cut off access to certain kinds of medical care.

Layered on top of that is the fact that political disagreements have morphed into moral conflicts that are perceived as pitting good against evil.

“When someone comes into power who is not on the same page as you morally, that can hit very deeply,” Ford said.

Partisanship and polarization have raised the stakes as well. Voters who feel a strong connection to a political party become more invested in its success. That can make a loss at the ballot box feel like a personal defeat, she said.

There’s also the fact that we have limited control over the outcome of an election. A patient with heart disease can improve their prognosis by taking medicine, changing their diet, getting more exercise or quitting smoking. But a person with political stress is largely at the mercy of others.

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“Politics is many forms of stress all rolled into one,” Ford said.

Weinschenk observed this firsthand the day after the election.

“I could feel it when I went into my classroom,” said the professor, whose research has found that people with political anxiety aren’t necessarily anxious in general. “I have a student who’s transgender and a couple of students who are gay. Their emotional state was so closed down.”

That’s almost to be expected in a place like Wisconsin, whose swing-state status caused residents to be bombarded with political messages. The more campaign ads a person is exposed to, the greater the risk of being diagnosed with anxiety, depression or another psychological ailment, according to a 2022 study in the journal PLOS One.

Political messages seem designed to keep voters “emotionally on edge,” said Vaile Wright, a licensed psychologist in Villa Park, Ill., and a member of the APA’s Stress in America team.

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“It encourages emotion to drive our decision-making behavior, as opposed to logic,” Wright said. “When we’re really emotionally stimulated, it makes it so much more challenging to have civil conversation. For politicians, I think that’s powerful, because emotions can be very easily manipulated.”

Making voters feel anxious is a tried-and-true way to grab their attention, said Christopher Ojeda, a political scientist at UC Merced who studies mental health and politics.

“Feelings of anxiety can be mobilizing, definitely,” he said. “That’s why politicians make fear appeals — they want people to get engaged.”

On the other hand, “feelings of depression are demobilizing and take you out of the political system,” said Ojeda, author of “The Sad Citizen: How Politics is Depressing and Why it Matters.”

“What [these feelings] can tell you is, ‘Things aren’t going the way I want them to. Maybe I need to step back,’” he said.

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Genessa Krasnow has been seeing a lot of that since the election.

The Seattle entrepreneur, who also campaigned for Harris, said it grates on her to see people laughing in restaurants “as if nothing had happened.” At a recent book club meeting, her fellow group members were willing to let her vent about politics for five minutes, but they weren’t interested in discussing ways they could counteract the incoming president.

“They’re in a state of disengagement,” said Krasnow, who is 56. She, meanwhile, is looking for new ways to reach young voters.

“I am exhausted. I am so sad,” she said. “But I don’t believe that disengaging is the answer.”

That’s the fundamental trade-off, Ojeda said, and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution.

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“Everyone has to make a decision about how much engagement they can tolerate without undermining their psychological well-being,” he said.

Lamirand took steps to protect her mental health by cutting social media ties with people whose values aren’t aligned with hers. But she will remain politically active and expects to volunteer for phone-banking duty soon.

“Doing something is the only thing that allows me to feel better,” Lamirand said. “It allows me to feel some level of control.”

Ideally, Ford said, people would not have to choose between being politically active and preserving their mental health. She is investigating ways to help people feel hopeful, inspired and compassionate about political challenges, since these emotions can motivate action without triggering stress and anxiety.

“We want to counteract this pattern where the more involved you are, the worse you are,” Ford said.

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The benefits would be felt across the political spectrum. In the APA survey, similar shares of Democrats, Republicans and independents agreed with statements like, “It causes me stress that politicians aren’t talking about the things that are most important to me,” and, “The political climate has caused strain between my family members and me.”

“Both sides are very invested in this country, and that is a good thing,” Wright said. “Antipathy and hopelessness really doesn’t serve us in the long run.”

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Video: SpaceX Unable to Recover Booster Stage During Sixth Test Flight

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Video: SpaceX Unable to Recover Booster Stage During Sixth Test Flight

President-elect Donald Trump joined Elon Musk in Texas and watched the launch from a nearby location on Tuesday. While the Starship’s giant booster stage was unable to repeat a “chopsticks” landing, the vehicle’s upper stage successfully splashed down in the Indian Ocean.

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