Liz Harris raised five children in the Mad River Valley. She loved all of them, deeply, with that distinct kind of love that a parent feels for their kids.

In 2016, Liz’s teenage daughter, Mary, was in a car accident with four of her friends. A wrong-way driver collided with them on I-89, and all five teenagers died. The accident made national news, profoundly affected the community and changed Liz’s life forever. What’s helped her move forward is to try and spread as much love in the world as she can.

As part of the series exploring love this week, Liz explains how her ideas about love changed after experiencing a profound loss.

Our show is made for the ear. We highly recommend listening to the audio. We’ve also provided a transcript, which has been edited for clarity and concision.

Liz Harris:  I think there’s that love you have for your friends. There’s that love you have for your community. There’s that love you have for your partner, your spouse. And then there’s that love you have for your kids.

My name is Elizabeth Harris. I go by Liz. And I live in Moretown, Vermont.

We had seven different personalities in the house, and it was busy. I stayed home with five kids. Two of my sister’s kids I watched, and she has four. And a couple of neighbor kids. So I’d have 10 kids at my house on a regular basis. But I hiked with them, I skied with them, I swam with them. 

I remember this one time my sister and I hiked up Mad River, and we had my five, her four, and Janie and Ollie Cozzi with us. And everybody was so happy. And it was a long hike! And you know, there was a little bit of complaining, but everybody was kind of in their groups.

And my sister and I got up there and we sat them all down and took a picture. And it’s that feeling of nothing could be better, you know? 

And on our way down, we had — one of our kids was running so fast that they tripped right before one of the towers, and launched probably like eight feet and cleared the pad. And my sister and I both looked at each other and thought, “Goodness, what would we have done if we were out here with two adults and all these kids and something happened?”

In 2016, something did happen that changed our lives, changed the direction of all of our lives. It actually changed love, and what would be spread in love. What was left behind in love, and what was felt through love.

My daughter Mary was killed in a car accident when she was 16 with four of her friends. They were coming home from a concert in Burlington and they were on the interstate and a wrong-way driver hit and killed them all. 

When you love something so much and that physical presence is ripped away from you, you realize how fortunate you are to love someone that much. And have somebody love you that much. 

And I felt like she played a huge role in why or how I could move forward. And I think, honestly, that is love. 

Mary was a giver. By nature, she was a giver. She gave every part of herself while she was here. And the ripple effect of her love came out in all the people around me,.

She was empathetic towards others and she was kind. She gave every part of herself while she was here. And the ripple effect of her love came out in all the people around me. 

For six months, people brought us dinner. And I probably wouldn’t be eating if people didn’t bring me food. I felt like it was a giant spider web, and Mary was the center of the spider web, and then we were the next ring. And then those rings just kept going out and out and out until people would start reaching out to me from as far away as Arkansas, and had lost their child and couldn’t get out of bed and would ask me, “How do you do it?” 

And I’d say, “I’ve got other kids. I have a community I love. I have a lot of life that I love. And it’s a long road. It’s a long journey. It’s something that sits with us every day, but it’s part of the story. It’s part of life. It’s part of love,” you know. 

And I honestly think Mary puts people in front of me all the time.