If you haven’t heard, our upcoming Best of Rhode Island party has many exciting additions and surprises this year, and we at Rhode Island Monthly cannot wait to celebrate with all of you at the WaterFire Arts Center on July 23 (get your tickets here if you haven’t already!). But to tide us all over in the meantime, we decided to continue the tradition of sharing some of the silliest write-in entries we came across while tallying the Best of Rhode Island Readers’ Poll.
But first, let me provide a quick refresher of the process. As many know, the ballot is made up entirely of write-in entries, meaning you can submit whatever you like for Best Restaurant, Best Influencer, Best Wedding Venue, etc. And believe me when I tell you that people do truly submit whatever they like. This year we had the task of combing through more than 100,000 (!) votes and once again (see examples from 2022, 2023, 2024, and 2025) found ourselves chuckling at quite a few along the way. Below you’ll find a roundup of some of our favorites, as well as what was going through my mind as I noted and compiled them. (And as always, I’d like to throw in the disclaimer that I am just as much a victim of my own typing skills, so these are all in good fun!). Enjoy!
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE RESTAURANT
“Daddychill” and “Daddychillllll”
— If I had a nickel for every time someone said this, I’d have two nickels — which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.
“Blinked to Beauty”
via GIPHY
“Christina Erne” and “TJ Delsanto”
— Christina and TJ are meteorologists, not meat.
“All Four Paws” and “Mind Your Dog”
— “Hello, is this PETA?”
“Altered images tattoo” and “Massage envy”
— I think you’ll satisfy different kinds of cravings and needs here.
“Boozy book club”
— Yo Reilley, you got snacks?
“Buns and bites”
— Sorry to have to disappoint, but Laura serves looks and recs, not meals.
“Comedy bus”
— It’s taking everything in me not to recycle my (terrible) joke from last year.
“Same day content Reel Candid”
— I guess the camera always eats first.
“Vampire (hallie)”
— Are you trying to be the main course?
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE NEW RESTAURANT
“Applebees”
via GIPHY
“Timmtuffknuckles”
— How are his knuckle sandwiches?
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE LATIN RESTAURANT
“Lklk”
— Not me trying to see if this is a latin root.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE ASIAN RESTAURANT
“Quads n. Attleboro”
— Geography class really isn’t what it used to be, huh.
(My clearly grumpy, not-so-gentle reminder that we’re looking for the best of Rhode Island).
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE INDIAN RESTAURANT
“Ho HoHOHO”
— Why did I read this like Santa tried a spicy curry for the first time and had a rough go of it.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE BREAKFAST SANDWICHES
“Duncan donuts” and “Dunking donts”
— I don’t know what I’m judging more: the voting for a national chain or the misspelling of said very, very popular chain.
“Bacon egg and cheese on a croissant.”
“Women & Infants Hospital – No, I’m not kidding! IYKYK”
— Well, now we know. Still hope I don’t have reason to find out for myself any time soon 😅
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE BRUNCH
“Cry cafe”
— You know, after a few mimosas, sometimes brunch is the best time to have a good cry. Not that I’m speaking from experience.
*Typo translation: Cru Cafe
“Karies (used to be jiggers south)”
— We found a real Rhode Islander, folks.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE CHEAP EATS
“They don’t exist in ri”
Not in this economy.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE COCKTAIL BAR
“Jefferson speakeasy??”
— Wanna think about it for a sec?
“Bar Lizzo”
— I mean, she is 100% that b*tch.
*Typo Translation: Bar’Lino
“Justine’s RIP”
— Yeah, this one hurts. Pour one out for the homie.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE WINERY
“Kingdom of the hawk”
— Sick name. Wrong state.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE DIVE BAR
“Oooogie’s”
via GIPHY
“(Against my better judgement) scurvy dog”
— Woof.
“BRADLEY CAFFEEEEEEEE”
— Love the enthusiasm.
“Irish Spring Soap”
— Alright smartass. There’s only room for one us here.
“O’roughs”
— Looks like someone had one too many at O’Rourke‘s the night prior.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE OYSTER BAR
You’d think after all the fire and the new location headlines, people would remember how to spell Matunuck. Alas, we still got:
“Matonk,” “Matoonik,” “Mahtunuck,” “Mattunuack,” “Mettunic,” “Matunickk,” “Metacunack” and many, many, many more.
*Typo Translation: Matunuck Oyster Bar
“THE OYSTER BAR”
— THANKS JANET BUT WHICH ONE?
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE BARBER SHOP
“City hall”
— Is that what they do there?
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE INDEPENDENT BOOKSTORE
“Barnes and Noble”
— You and I have different definitions of independent.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE TV METEOROLOGIST FEMALE
“Dylan Drier, SORRY she’s the BEST”
— SORRY but not in RHODE ISLAND.
“Kathy bates”
— Yes, and I’m the one in Misery.
*Typo translation: Kelly Bates
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE SPORTSCASTER
“[redacted], new and upcoming”
— When I Googled this name I could only find criminal court cases (and no Rhode Island sportscasters) so, yea, I’m gonna go ahead and agree that this person has a lot more coming up to do.
“Channel 10 reporter”
— You can Google too, ya know.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE TELEVISION NEWS REPORTER
“Jamie coelho”
— She is always ready for her closeup!
“jean value cent”
— I really thought I had seen all the spellings at this point, but someone always proves me wrong.
*Typo translation: Gene Valicenti
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE MORNING SHOW
“Drew Barrymore”
via GIPHY
“Road show”
— C’mon. Have some respect for the pun.
*Typo translation: The Rhode Show
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE LOCAL NEWS SHOWS
“r/Providence (Providence reddit page)”
— I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t also gotten my news from this thread some days…
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE LOCAL MUSICIAN/BAND
“No exit 5”
— You’re right, there is none.
*Typo translation: No Exit 4
“Dropkick Murphy’s”
— Does owning Yellow Door make them local? I’ll take it.
“Taylor Swift”
— Well, maybe if she had tied the knot here… (No we aren’t bitter).
“I am a god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
— I know this is an actual band name, but this was still a jump scare.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE LOCAL FASHION DESIGNER
“DADDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYY I want you badddddd”
— Okay someone’s gotta be effing with me.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE LOCAL ARTISAN
“Fankiemademedoit”
— I don’t think that will hold up in court.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE FOODIE INFLUENCER
“Jamie Coelho”
— No arguments here.
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE DATE NIGHT
“catching rats with butterfly nets in kennedy plaza.”
— Jotting that one down.
“Eating out and a movie”
via GIPHY
FOUND UNDER STATEWIDE CANNABIS DISPENSARY
“All suck tbh”
— Daddy chill. (This might be my new favorite term).
“Northeastern”
— You know you don’t have to buy from your college roommate any more, right?
*Typo translation: Northeast Alternatives in Fall River and Seekonk 😮💨
FOUND UNDER PROVIDENCE RESTAURANT
“Ed the barber”
— I see the Sweeney Todd fan has returned.
“Permission.”
Granted, you may proceed.
*Typo translation: Persimmon
“Seeking tailor”
— Did you think we were ChatGPT?
FOUND UNDER PROVIDENCE VEGAN/VEGETARIAN RESTAURANT
“Pianta pianta pianta!”
— Is this how the kids play Bloody Mary nowadays? Does a Veggie Tales character show up? (Honestly that would terrify me more.)
FOUND UNDER PROVIDENCE OUTDOOR DINING
“Federal hill”
via GIPHY
FOUND UNDER PROVIDENCE DINER
“1st one I wrote is actually in Blackstone valley”
— Thank you for your candor.
“Haven’t bros”
— I think they have.
*Typo translation: Haven Brothers
FOUND UNDER PROVIDENCE SANDWICH SHOP
“Wise guys in Cumberland”
— Not very wise of you.
FOUND UNDER PROVIDENCE INDEPENDENT BOOKSTORE
“Heartless”
— I think Penny would beg to differ!
*Typo translation: Heartleaf Books
FOUND UNDER PROVIDENCE LOCALLY OWNED CLOTHING BOUTIQUE
“Locally owned clothing boutique”
via GIPHY
FOUND UNDER PROVIDENCE CONSIGNMENT SHOP
“The one on brook near wickenden”
via GIPHY
FOUND UNDER PROVIDENCE MUSIC VENUE
“Lupo’s heartbreak hotel”
— Who knew they’d still be breaking hearts all these years later.
FOUND UNDER PROVIDENCE LOCAL EVENT
“Best of RI”
— Eeeyyyyy
“BEYBLADE X TOURNAMENTS”
— I didn’t know this was a thing and now I am intrigued.
“TJ Delsanto Facebook Photos of RI and stories of beaches in RI”
— TJ is that you?
FOUND UNDER SOUTH COUNTY NEIGHBORHOOD BAR
“Cheers!”
— I’ll be sure to call up Sam and Diane.
FOUND UNDER SOUTH COUNTY INDEPENDENT BOOKSTORE
“Waldens in Wakefield”
— What a throwback.
FOUND UNDER NEWPORT COUNTY ANIMAL SHELTER
“Bahaha Cat Cafe”
via GIPHY
*Typo translation: Bajah’s Cat Cafe
FOUND UNDER NEWPORT COUNTY DELI
“Garlic Clove”
— So close.
*Typo translation: The Roasted Clove
FOUND UNDER EAST BAY RESTAURANT
“Chello is great family restaurant to take your family the waitress and waiter are great”
— Shout out to that waitress and waiter.
FOUND UNDER EAST BAY ITALIAN RESTAURANT
“Olive Garden, south Attleboro”
via GIPHY
FOUND UNDER EAST BAY BREAKFAST
“Green eggs and ham”
— Okay sam I am.
*Typo translation: Green Eggs
FOUND UNDER EAST BAY BURGER
“Chimp”
— … Has anyone checked in on Punch lately?
Typo translation: Chomp Kitchen and Drinks
FOUND UNDER EAST BAY SPECIALTY FOOD STORE
“Johnson’s Toadside Market”
— That’s sure is a specialty food.
*Typo translation: Johnson’s Roadside Farm Market in Swansea 😮💨😮💨😮💨
FOUND UNDER EAST BAY LOCAL MUSIC VENUE
“Bring back Bold Point!”
— I’d sign this petition.
FOUND UNDER EAST BAY LOCAL EVENT
“Oops”
— I am concerned.
FOUND UNDER WEST BAY BREAKFAST
“Dante’s inferno”
— That would certainly wake me up.
*Typo translation: Dante’s Kitchen
FOUND UNDER WEST BAY BURGER
“Vegan. Don’t Eat.”
— PETA thanks you for your service.
FOUND UNDER BLACKSTONE VALLEY RESTAURANT
“Hotel for Homeless Dogs.”
— …But really do I need to call PETA?
For those who made it this far, I hope you enjoyed the ride! Don’t forget if you want to learn who the actual winners are before the rest of the state (and party with them) you can still pick up tickets to the event here.
