New York
Dancer Stabbed to Death Was a Shy Boy Turned Proud, Exuberant Man
Karen Pendergrass kept seeing the lanky boy walk by the lunchroom where she taught dance twice a week to eighth grade students in North Philadelphia. He would peer inside, then run away as soon as Ms. Pendergrass made eye contact.
“You come peeking in my door one more time and you’re coming in my class,” Ms. Pendergrass told him. “From there, he never left.”
For the next 15 years, O’Shae Sibley danced, working on the side as a delivery man, waiter and cleaner between auditions and performances in Philadelphia and New York, where he moved to further his career. At 28, he was preparing to audition for “The Lion King,” one of his favorite Broadway musicals.
But on Saturday, Mr. Sibley and his friends made a quick stop at a Brooklyn gas station as they came back from a beach day. They were blasting Beyoncé and dancing around the car when a group of about three young men told them to stop and hurled gay slurs at them.
Summy Ullah, a 32-year-old gas station attendant who witnessed the encounter, said one of the young men said, “I’m Muslim. I don’t want this here.”
Mr. Sibley and his friends argued with them, and one young man began recording Mr. Sibley and his friends on his phone while cursing at them. Mr. Sibley followed the group and Mr. Ullah, who rushed over to prevent a fight, saw the young man who was recording pull out a knife.
Mr. Ullah said he did not realize Mr. Sibley had been stabbed until he saw the blood.
“I can’t forget what I’ve seen,” said Mr. Ullah. “It’s not the gay guys’ fault, because they were minding their own business. They didn’t do anything.”
The killing has shocked New Yorkers and galvanized the gay community with grief. Some are planning vigils and others have called on the public to gather at the Mobil gas station on Coney Island Avenue and “vogue as an act of resistance,” a reference to the stylized dancing that Mr. Sibley and his friends performed, one that mimics models’ poses and blurs the lines of gender.
On Thursday evening, at the Stonewall Inn, the Greenwich Village bar known as the cradle of the gay rights movement, about 80 mourners gathered. In a gospel cadence, they sang “O’Shae Sibley was freed today” as an ensemble of wind instruments played.
“He was just a beautiful spirit, a wonderful person, just exercising his freedom to be alive,” said Sunder Ganglani, 42, who rode his bike to the demonstration with a picture of Mr. Sibley attached to his rear wheel.
On Beyoncé’s website, “Rest in Power, O’Shae Sibley” was prominently displayed against a black backdrop. Mayor Eric Adams called the attack an act of homophobia that violated the city’s ethos of “knowing and loving people of all backgrounds.”
“We’ll bring justice for O’Shae’s family and loved ones,” he said in a social media post.
The police said they are searching for a man in his late teens in connection with the killing. The department’s hate crimes unit is assisting in the investigation.
Brian Downey, a New York Police Department detective and president of the Gay Officers Action League, said the attack underscores the violence gay people face even in a city that is supposed to be a “refuge, a place of safety.”
For Mr. Sibley, New York felt like a better haven than North Philadelphia, where he had to navigate the streets carefully, his friends said.
“For many Black gay men, there is code switching, where we have to walk more masculine presenting,” said Kemar Jewel, 31, a dancer and choreographer who met Mr. Sibley when they were teenagers in Philadelphia. “Maybe we’re wearing looser clothing or not looking people in the eye.”
Joan Myers Brown, founder of the Philadelphia Dance School, gave Mr. Sibley a full scholarship after Ms. Pendergrass recommended him.
She was impressed with his determination. In a family of 11 siblings, there was rarely extra money. Ms. Brown recalled driving him home late at night from the studio in West Philadelphia when he didn’t have car fare. Ms. Pendergrass often gave him food and clothing, Ms. Brown said.
“He had a tough fortitude,” Ms. Brown said “To handle New York, you have to be tough and he was handling it.”
In New York, Mr. Sibley moved freely. He vogued at Pier 47 on the Hudson River, a favorite hangout, and had a tight-knit group of friends who collaborated on videos, dance competitions and performances.
In June 2020, as the city was swept by demonstrations against police brutality, Mr. Sibley joined four other dancers who, dressed in black berets and black clothing, vogued in locations around the city for a video directed by Mr. Jewel. The video was meant to support the Black Lives Matter movement but also showcase the joy and resistance embodied in vogueing.
Mr. Jewel directed Mr. Sibley as he strutted, pirouetted and glided on tiptoe in front of masked police officers who watched him with curiosity.
“He was so intentional in his movements,” Mr. Jewel said.
Soft-spoken, quiet and friendly, Mr. Sibley would deflect tense moments with a joke or silly comment, his friends said. But he was unafraid of confronting homophobia and bristled when anyone warned him that being open about his sexuality could draw hostility.
Beckenbaur Hamilton, 51, a neighbor and friend of Mr. Sibley, who lived alone in a studio apartment in Brownsville, remembered a boisterous party Mr. Sibley threw on July 2.
He and his friends were dancing, playing loud music and drinking. Mr. Hamilton, who is gay, said he worried the “wrong person” would overhear them and react violently.
When he warned Mr. Sibley and his friends, they laughed off his concerns, Mr. Hamilton said.
“I’m just telling you for your own safety: You don’t know who is who,” Mr. Hamilton said he told them. “They said, ‘We are just living our truths.’”
Iquail Shaheed, 39, a dancer and choreographer, met Mr. Sibley when the dancer was about 16 and they were both at the Philadelphia Dance School. By that point, Mr. Sibley had joined the school’s second company and Dr. Shaheed, an alumnus assigned to mentor him, was urging the younger dancer to draw from his experiences as a boy for a piece set to the song “Someday We’ll All Be Free,” by Donny Hathaway.
It conveyed the feelings of a “young Black male coming of age in a world that was devastatingly hard for him,” Dr. Shaheed said. To help Mr. Sibley connect with the work, Dr. Shaheed asked Mr. Sibley to think about what it felt like to hide his sexuality and to protect himself from those who would show hatred toward him.
“I was really pushing him,” Dr. Shaheed said. Mr. Sibley struggled with the direction.
“O’Shae got really mad at me,” he said. “It would really get to him.”
The Monday before he died, Mr. Sibley met with Dr. Shaheed and said he wanted to take classes with him at his studio in Manhattan. He wanted intensive preparation for his “Lion King” audition.
“I wasn’t fully ready for the way you were pushing me when I was younger,” Mr. Sibley said, according to his friend. “I’m ready for it now. I know you’re not going to be easy on me.”
Mr. Sibley told him he had saved enough money to pay for the classes. Dr. Shaheed, who that week left for a performance in Belgium, had no intention of letting him pay. He planned to surprise Mr. Sibley with the news when he got back to New York.
Mr. Ullah said that just before the fight began on Saturday, he had been watching Mr. Sibley and his friends and was enjoying their exuberant display. Mr. Ullah said he tried to chase the young man who stabbed Mr. Sibley, but he jumped into a Toyota Highlander that sped off.
“This was the first time I saw a hate crime in this neighborhood where I work,” Mr. Ullah said.
“I’m Muslim myself,” said Mr. Ullah, who immigrated from Pakistan. “When I saw them dancing, I was laughing too but I wasn’t making fun of them. Everyone has their own perspective, gay, transgender. We have gay people in our countries as well. You don’t make fun of them. They don’t say anything to you. They aren’t making fun of you.”
Dr. Shaheed said after news of the stabbing broke, someone sent him a brief 2016 clip of Mr. Sibley dancing to the Donny Hathaway song.
He has tried to imagine how happy and liberated Mr. Sibley must have felt during the last minutes of his life, jumping and vogueing with his friends.
“He was free,” Dr. Shaheed said. “Dancing without a care in the world.”
Kitty Bennettcontributed research.
New York
When Carter Went to the Bronx
Good morning. It’s Thursday. Today, on a national day of mourning for former President Jimmy Carter, we’ll look at Carter’s relationship to New York. We’ll also get details on the decision by the city’s Board of Elections not to fire its executive director after investigators found that he had harassed two female employees.
President Jimmy Carter flew to New York in October 1977 to tell the United Nations General Assembly that he was “willing” to shrink the United States’ nuclear arsenal if the Soviet Union matched the reductions. The next day, he did something unannounced, unexpected and unrelated to foreign policy.
He went to the South Bronx.
It was a symbolic side trip to show that he was willing to face urban problems. Leaders like Vernon Jordan of the National Urban League had already begun to talk about dashed expectations: “We expected Carter to be working as hard to meet the needs of the poor as he did to get our votes,” Jordan had said a couple of months earlier. “But so far, we have been disappointed.”
Carter, a Democrat, wasn’t satisfied with driving through neighborhoods dominated by desolation and despair. “Let me walk about a block,” he told the Secret Service agents accompanying him, and he got out of the limousine.
That morning in the South Bronx became an enduring memory of his presidency. But there are other New York memories to remember today, a national day of mourning for Carter, who died on Dec. 29.
There was the high of his nomination in 1976, at the first national political convention held in Manhattan since the Roaring Twenties.
There was also the not-so-high of his nomination in the same place four years later, when haplessness seemed to reign: The teleprompter malfunctioned during his acceptance speech. He flubbed a line about former Vice President Hubert Horatio Humphrey, calling him “Hubert Horatio Hornblower.” The balloons didn’t tumble from the ceiling when they were supposed to. And his long feud with Senator Edward Kennedy simmered on.
Another New York memory now seems as improbable as Carter’s candidacy had once been: a high-kicking photo op with the Radio City Rockettes in 1973. Carter, then a Georgia governor who had taught Sunday school, hammed it up with dancers who showed a lot of leg. (The governor, joining the kick line in his crisp suit, did not.)
Carter was an ambitious Navy lieutenant turned peanut farmer turned politician, and he understood what New York could do for him. The Carter biographer Jonathan Alter wrote that the publicity stunt with the Rockettes helped bring him name recognition, as did a full-page ad in Variety that showed him in a director’s chair. The ad, and that trip to New York, promoted a push to lure filmmaking to Georgia.
By the time Carter went to the South Bronx, 10 months into his presidency, New York was struggling to pull out of its “Ford to City: Drop Dead” abyss. But whatever hope Carter seemed to bring soon faded: A week later, during a World Series game at Yankee Stadium, the sportscaster Howard Cosell supposedly said, “Ladies and gentlemen, the Bronx is burning.”
“Somehow that sentence entered the language, though he never said that, or exactly that,” Ian Frazier explained in his book “Paradise Bronx.” “In any case, it’s what people remember.”
People yelled “Give us money!” and “We want jobs!” as Carter went by. On one ruined block, “he stood looking around, his expression blank and dazed,” Frazier wrote. “For a president to allow himself to be seen when he appears so overwhelmed required self-sacrifice and moral fortitude.”
With him was Mayor Abraham Beame, a lame duck — but not Representative Ed Koch, who had defeated Beame in the Democratic primary and would be elected mayor in November. The president and the mayor-in-waiting were feuding over Middle East policy.
Back at his hotel, Carter called it “a very sobering trip.” And as Frazier noted, the drive-by made America look at “this place that most had been looking away from.”
Politicians stopped looking away: The stretch of Charlotte Street that he visited became a stop on campaign after campaign. “Reagan went there in 1980 to try to show up Carter,” Alter said. But the policy Carter pushed for in response to the poverty he saw — changes that effectively forced banks to provide home loans in low-income neighborhoods — worked, Alter said. “It just took a while.”
A few years later, there were more than 100 suburban-style houses in the neighborhood Carter walked through. Today the houses are worth roughly $750,000 apiece, according to the real estate website Trulia.
“He cared about people — he wanted to help people,” Alter said. “Jimmy Carter was a rural Georgian, but he had a lot of empathy for New Yorkers who needed a break.”
Weather
Today will be mostly sunny and breezy with a high near 34 degrees. Tonight, expect a mostly clear sky, strong winds and a low near 26.
ALTERNATE-SIDE PARKING
In effect until Jan. 20 (Martin Luther King’s Birthday).
The latest New York news
City election board opted not to fire an official who harassed female workers
The New York City Board of Elections — which is responsible for registering voters, repairing voting machines and tallying ballots — refused to dismiss its top official after he harassed two female employees, according to a report released by the city’s Department of Investigation.
Investigators found that the board’s executive director, Michael Ryan, had “created a hostile work environment for these two employees” in violation of the board’s own policies. The investigation department added that those policies had “serious deficiencies” that limited the board’s ability “to effectively prevent and address workplace misconduct and harassment.”
The board released a statement defending its decision not to fire Ryan, who was suspended for three weeks without pay and ordered to attend sensitivity training. The board’s statement quoted Ryan as apologizing for his actions.
“While I dispute these allegations and disagree with the report’s conclusion,” he said, “I accept the determination of the commissioners” to suspend him as being “in the best interest of the agency.”
According to the report from the investigation department, Ryan made a series of sexual comments to one female employee over several months, some of which were accompanied by physical gestures such as puckering his lips at her or touching her face with his hand.
He also engaged in a conversation with Michael Corbett, the board’s administrative manager, in the presence of the woman about what the best age gap might be in a heterosexual relationship. The two men determined that the age difference between her and Ryan would not be a problem, investigators said.
Investigators said that Ryan’s conduct had caused the woman “significant anxiety and emotional distress,” which figured in her decision to leave her job.
Investigators also found that Ryan had made “ethnicity- and gender-based comments toward” a second female employee, including some that trafficked in racial stereotypes.
Corbett was also suspended for one week, placed on probation for one year and ordered to attend sensitivity training.
Rodney Pepe-Souvenir, the president of the board of commissioners that oversees the agency, and Frederic Umane, its secretary, said in the statement released on Wednesday that they believed the penalties Ryan was given “sent a strong message that these types of unwelcomed and insensitive comments will not be tolerated by anyone” at the Board of Elections.
METROPOLITAN diary
In the bag
Dear Diary:
I was waiting in line to pick up a prescription at a crowded Duane Reade. An older woman who was clearly exhausted left the line to sit down in a nearby chair.
When it was her turn to get her prescription, she stood up, left her belongings on the chair and went to the counter.
While waiting for the pharmacist, she turned and looked at the man who was sitting next to where she had been.
“You know what’s in that bag?” she asked, motioning toward her stuff.
The man shook his head.
“My husband,” she said. “He died last week, and I have his remains in there.”
— Brad Rothschild
Illustrated by Agnes Lee. Send submissions here and read more Metropolitan Diary here.
Glad we could get together here. See you tomorrow. — J.B.
P.S. Here’s today’s Mini Crossword and Spelling Bee. You can find all our puzzles here.
New York
Carole Wilbourn, Who Put Cats on the Couch, Dies at 84
Carole Wilbourn, a self-described cat therapist, who was known for her skill in decoding the emotional life of cats, as confounding as that would seem to be, died on Dec. 23 at her home in Manhattan. She was 84.
Her death was confirmed by her sister Gail Mutrux.
Ms. Wilbourn’s patients shredded sofas, toilet paper and romantic partners. They soiled rugs and beds. They galloped over their sleeping humans in the wee hours. They hissed at babies, dogs and other cats. They chewed electrical wires. They sulked in closets, and went on hunger strikes.
They suffered from childhood trauma, low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, jealousy and just plain rage. And Ms. Wilbourn, who was self-taught — in college she had studied (human) psychology and majored in education — seemed particularly attuned to the inner workings of their furry minds. A minor Manhattan celebrity, she was often called the kitty Freud, or the mother of cat psychiatry.
Cats hate change, she often noted. Even a new slipcover on the sofa can undo them. Cats are selfish. Unlike dogs, who strive to please their master, a cat strives to please itself. To mangle a cliché, happy cat, happy (human) life.
“A cat behaves badly when it’s trying to communicate,” she told The Los Angeles Daily News in 1990. “It’s sending an SOS. It’s saying, ‘Please help me.’”
Ms. Wilbourn developed her specialty over a half-century after founding The Cat Practice, billed as Manhattan’s first cats-only hospital, in 1973 with Paul Rowan, a veterinarian. She said she was the first feline therapist in the country, a claim that is not known to have been disputed.
She was the author of six books, including “Cats on the Couch” (first published in 1982), which offered case studies to help cat lovers better understand their furry friends. She treated patients as far away as Australia and Turkey (by phone), and made house calls as far away as Maui.
“Cats have emotions,” she said. “They get happy and sad and frustrated, and, since I understand emotions in people, I understand them in cats.”
She estimated that she had treated some 13,000 cats, and claimed a success rate of 75 to 80 percent. Take Snoopy, who didn’t like to be held and played rough when he was, and ran around in circles if he was over-excited. Sobriety, a 3-year-old tabby, scratched her own skin raw. Minina bit all visitors, and had to be locked away during dinner parties. Ms. Wilbourn’s diagnosis? Single cat syndrome. The treatment? Another cat, preferably a kitten; lots of attention, but not to the kitten; and, in Sobriety’s case, Valium.
She once treated a cat with Reiki energy healing after it had accidentally been run through the dryer.
Ms. Wilbourn’s go-to prescriptions also included New Age and classical music, recordings of whale songs and an abundance of treats, like catnip (a natural antidepressant, she pointed out). She also suggested canny behavior modifications by the humans, like having a new romantic partner feed the cat. She often recommended, in the days of landlines and answering machines, that humans call their pets and leave them cheerful messages. Her services did not come cheap. House-visits in Manhattan hovered at $400.
“If I lived anywhere besides a big city like New York,” she told The New York Times in 2004, “I’d be on food stamps.”
Carole Cecile Engel was born on March 19, 1940, in the Flushing section of Queens, one of four children of Harriet (Greenwald) and Gustave Engel, a taxi driver. There were no cats in their Queens apartment, but the family did have a canary named Petey. Carole graduated from Bayside High School and attended Albany State University’s School of Education before transferring to New York University, where she studied psychology and earned a Bachelor of Science degree in business education in 1964.
Her first cat was a part-Siamese named Oliver, whom she adopted through an ad in The Village Voice. She was working as a substitute teacher and a Playboy bunny before opening The Cat Practice with Dr. Rowan, whom she later married.
“She was very attuned to the animals, to their emotional states,” Dr. Rowan said in an interview. “It was very unusual for the time.” As a result, their business flourished.
An earlier marriage to David Wilbourn, a photographer, ended in divorce, as did her marriage to Dr. Rowan. In addition to Ms. Mutrux, her sister, she is survived by Orion 2, a Siamese.
Ms. Wilbourn was a dog lover too, and on occasion treated canines, though she never had a dog herself. But she had definite views about anti-cat people. In her experience, she said, some of those who claimed they were allergic to cats often just didn’t like them.
“A cat is a free spirit and will not be subservient,” she wrote in “The Inner Cat” (1978). “People who derive their gratification from giving commands that others must obey can be threatened by a cat. It’s hard to assert your sense of power over a cat.”
New York
Port Workers Could Strike Again if No Deal Is Reached on Automation
Ports on the East and Gulf Coasts could close next week if dockworkers and employers cannot overcome their big differences over the use of automated machines to move cargo.
The International Longshoremen’s Association, the union that represents dockworkers, and the United States Maritime Alliance, the employers’ negotiating group, on Tuesday resumed in-person talks aimed at forging a new labor contract.
After a short strike in October, the union and the alliance agreed on a 62 percent raise over six years for the longshoremen — and said they would try to work out other parts of the contract, including provisions governing automated technology, before Jan. 15.
If they don’t have a deal by that date, ports that account for three-fifths of U.S. container shipments could shut, harming businesses that rely on imports and exports and providing an early test for the new Trump administration.
“If there’s a strike, it will have a significant impact on the U.S. economy and the supply chain,” said Dennis Monts, chief operating officer of PayCargo, a freight payments company.
The union is resisting automation because it fears the loss of jobs at the ports. President-elect Donald J. Trump lent his support to the union’s position last month. “I’ve studied automation, and know just about everything there is to know about it,” he said on his website Truth Social. “The amount of money saved is nowhere near the distress, hurt, and harm it causes for American Workers, in this case, our Longshoremen.”
But figures close to Mr. Trump, like Vivek Ramaswamy, who the president-elect says will co-head an agency that will advise his administration on slimming down the government, have been critical of the union. In October, Republicans in Congress called on President Biden to use the Taft-Hartley Act to force striking longshoremen back to work.
And while the maritime alliance has agreed to a hefty raise, it may not be as ready to compromise on technology. Employers say that the technology is needed to make the ports more efficient and that they want the new contract to give them more leeway to introduce the sort of machinery that the union opposes.
To prepare for the potential closing of East and Gulf Coast ports, businesses have accelerated some imports, delayed others and diverted some to West Coast ports, said Jess Dankert, vice president for supply chain at the Retail Industry Leaders Association, which represents many businesses that import goods.
“Contingency plans are pretty well developed,” she said, but added that a strike of more than a week would have significant ripple effects that could take a while to disentangle.
The International Longshoremen’s Association declined to comment.
The cost of shipping a container has risen over 60 percent on average in the past year, in large part because attacks on shipping in the Red Sea have forced ocean carriers to travel a longer, more expensive route and use more vessels. And if the East and Gulf Coast ports close, some carriers recently said, they will add surcharges to shipping rates for containers destined for the ports.
In earlier negotiations, the union secured a deal that would increase wages to $63 an hour, from $39, by the end of a new six-year contract. With shift work and overtime, the pay of many longshoremen at some East Coast ports could rise to well over $200,000 a year. (At the Port of New York and New Jersey, nearly 60 percent of the longshoremen made $100,000 to $200,000 in the 12 months through June 2020, the latest figures available, according to data from an agency that helped oversee the port.)
But to get those raises, the union will have to reach a deal on the rest of the contract, including new provisions on automation.
The core of the technology dispute concerns “semi-automated” port machinery that does not always require the involvement of humans. At the Port of Virginia, humans operate cranes that load containers onto trucks, but the cranes can also arrange huge stacks of containers on their own.
The last labor contract allowed for the introduction of semi-automated technology when both parties agreed to work-force protections and staffing levels. But in recent months, leaders of the International Longshoremen’s Association criticized port operators’ use of semi-automated technology, contending that it will lead to job losses.
“Now, employers are coming for the last remaining jobs under the shiny banner of semi-automation,” Dennis A. Daggett, the union’s executive vice president, wrote in a message to members last month.
The employers want the new contract to let them introduce more technology. In a statement to The New York Times last month, the maritime alliance said it was committed to keeping the job protections in place, but added, “Our focus now is how to also strengthen the ability to implement equipment that will improve safety, and increase efficiency, productivity and capacity.”
Even with automation, hiring of longshoremen has gone up at the Port of Virginia, according to union records. An increase in the number of containers the port handles is largely behind the increase in hiring.
“The Port of Virginia is thriving with automation,” said Ram Ganeshan, professor of operations and supply chain at William & Mary in Williamsburg, Va. “They’re not mutually exclusive.”
Some labor experts said there was a model for compromise: The union could agree to more automation, and the employers would offer solid job guarantees.
The International Longshore and Warehouse Union, which represents dockworkers on the West Coast, agreed to a contract over a decade ago that “recognized that the introduction of new technologies, including fully mechanized and robotic-operated marine terminals, necessarily displaces traditional longshore work and workers.” The union got guarantees that its members would maintain and repair the machinery at the terminals.
Harry Katz, a professor at Cornell University’s School of Industrial and Labor Relations, said a deal on the East and Gulf Coasts was possible in part because the employers were profitable enough to offer job guarantees. “I do expect a compromise,” he said.
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