Wish one of your ex-lovers was forced to wear a cone of shame forever? Yeah, me too.

Well, a South Jersey pet shelter is making this dark, twisted fantasy a reality — kind of. For a $50 donation, Blackwood’s Homeward Bound Pet Adoption Center will “neuter your ex,” which entails performing the surgery on a feral cat they’ve named after your ex-partner before placing it back in the wild.

And, yes, situationships, frenemies, or plain ole nemeses also count, said Eric Schwartz, Homeward Bound’s director of development.

Homeward Bound posted about the anti-Valentine’s Day promotion on Instagram last week with the pithy tagline “because some things shouldn’t breed,” baiting viral meme accounts to post about the campaign.

It’s actually a ploy to raise awareness about the adoption center’s trap-neuter-release program, where they work with local animal controls to spay and neuter feral felines before releasing them back to their colonies. Over 600 cats were fixed and released through the program in 2023, said Schwartz.

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A little fewer than half these cats typically come from the city of Camden, where Homeward Bound’s trap-neuter-release tactics have helped prevent the feral cat population from growing as rapidly, Schwartz said.

Most donors, however, are in it for revenge. Those interested in naming, shaming, and spaying their ex can fill out a donation form and select the “in honor” option to complete the dedication. Schwartz said Homeward Bound plans to provide every donor a photo of their neutered ex-slash-cat. There’s also an option to let someone know that you donated, in case this gives you any ideas.

“Donated! The real guy deserves to be neutered, but a cat in his name will do,” commented one Instagram user, while others have asked to dedicate neuterings to their “husband’s ex-mistress” (yikes) and several childhood bullies.

“One woman sent the names of her three ex-husbands and wrote, ‘I should’ve learned after the first one,’” said Schwartz.

The campaign has raised over $2,000 so far, which will cover about 40 feline spayings and neuterings, said Schwartz. It’s been one of Homeward Bound’s most successful campaigns to date.

Homeward Bound is not the first animal shelter to use Valentine’s Day as an exercise in both fundraising and hatred. For $5, a cat at the Rhode Island SPCA will poop on your ex’s name, mimicking a campaign the Lexington Humane Society ran in 2021. That time, it cost $10 to literally crap on an ex.

Schwartz said the idea to neuter exes came from a volunteer during a planning meeting for Homeward Bound’s softer and sweeter Valentine’s Day fundraiser: Pet-a-grams. Sometime in February, people will be able to donate $20 in exchange for kenneled dogs and cats getting a heart-shaped card and treat, which will be made by students at Haddonfield High School.

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“Neuter an Ex,” meanwhile, will likely become an annual tradition. “I think we have to do it next year,” said Schwartz, who — fortunately — does not have an ex-partner he would like to neuter.

“When you say ‘let’s neuter an ex,’ everybody has the name of a person pop into their head,” said Schwartz. “We’re happy to bring some closure while doing something important.”