Henry, A Dog’s Life in Maine

It all started one fine summer afternoon. My mom has a couple of doggie clients that she lets out to run around and do their “business” several days a week while their people are at work. One particular set are the duo of Tuckerman, a year-old retriever and his very opinionated bud Piper, (affectionately called Pipes by my mom, who has said she loves this guy way too much) a 15-year-old Pug.

The adventure started with a text from Tuc’s mom informing her that he had been tutored. Excuse me, I heard that wrong, he had been neutered. (I have some experience with that, although it is a vague memory now.) Tuc would be wearing a cone. This is where the fun started.

Mom arrived to find the very excited and happy duo. The cone was a large plastic piece and Tuc, in his excitement was doing his very best to navigate around. He crashed into the wall, the doorway, the kitchen counter, Piper, (who rolled with it, literally,) and eventually my mom. She managed to get them both outside, but not without waiting for Tuc who tried several times to pick up one of his toys. If you have ever had a dog that needed to wear a cone, you know how difficult it is for them to pick up anything off the floor. Now, while all this was going on, he was blocking the door. Piper was not having it and very vocally let my mom know. Tuc finally was able to snag his toy and out they went.

Once outside, the adventure of Tuc and the cone began. It happened rather quickly, and to this day Mom says she is still both perplexed and in awe of the physicality of said event. Tuc ran around the lawn in circles. The speed was most incredible. If you have ever watched a plane take off, you can get the idea of the combination of the speed and liftoff; this was Tuc.

The lawn has a hill and he rolled down it with the exuberance typical of a puppy. In this case, a very large puppy – all legs and tail. Mom watched him come bounding back up, happy, cone flapping up and down, fazing him not in the least.

What happened next, she says, will be forever burned in her memory. She had a bit of difficulty explaining the event because it seemed quite surreal.

On his final roll of the afternoon, Tuc went down the hill backward. Mom described it as a whirlwind of dog butt, legs, and tail lifted in the air as if he were taking off, disappearing momentarily down the hill. Worried he was hurt, she ran down to check him and was met with a bounding, racing, (with the cone faced inside out and backward) blur of fur, grass, and dirt. Yes, a sight unlike Mom has ever seen, and to this day is still in wonderment.

As she went to fix said cone, Tuc took this as an invitation to play bet you can’t catch me. He was right.

Tuckerman, a 1-year-old retriever (Courtesy photo)

While all this mayhem was happening, Piper sat on the sidelines, commenting loudly on Mom’s ineptitude to cease running around and dispense with her treats. If you have you have ever owned a pug, you know how that is. Tuc decided that he would now be rid of this large bulky plastic appendage, shaking his head until it became loose. Somehow, he stepped on it, pried it off, leaving it dangling by the string that was attached to his collar.

All the while, mom was chasing him around the lawn to no avail. She decided to give up and grabbed the treat container. Thinking that if she shook it, he would come to her. Well, this gave Piper more ammunition and gave Mom a real “what for.”

Tuc, who seemed exhausted at this point, finally caved and came crashing into the house. The cone was torn in half, dangling and tripping Tuc as he ran up the step, crashing into Piper who, once again, literally rolled with it.

Mom managed to untie the string and yanked what was left of the cone off Tuc’s head. She texted his mom to inform her of the series of events. She said she was laughing so hard it took her a few attempts to text. Luckily there was duct tape in a drawer in the kitchen. Dad refers to duct tape as a divine gift to the universe.

Mom was able to tape the sad remains of the collar and somehow tackle Tuc, hold him in place with her knees, and return the plastic appendage to its former state on his head. Treats were dispensed and all was well. Tuc was not exactly thrilled, but luckily seemed super tired out and went crashing on to the sun porch for a nap, Piper at his side snoring away.

Mom laughingly drove home, dignity intact, ever grateful these two are in her life.

Mom read somewhere that dogs are sent without wings so that no one will know they are angels. She believes this with her whole heart.

Hugs and love to all, and please remember if we can’t go into stores with you, leave us home. A car can heat up fast, up to 10 degrees higher.

XOXOXO Henry.