Don’t blame yourselves, Killdeer … blame Gaylon

Weekends mean nothing to a sportswriter without work. We don’t even technically know what they are, until around the end of May, but sports keep us out of trouble.

Sometimes.

With big Saturday plans — and the kickoff of going up to Killdeer to cover the Class A North Dakota quarterfinals — the game started at a breakfast-ish 12:30 slot and an opportunity to have a little “weekend fun” on the back-end of the game at roughly 4 pm on a Saturday: Ideal timeframe for an early bout of postgame amusement.

Like an idiot I wore cowboy-boots, because I look great in cowboy-boots (they really bring out my eyes), and temporarily forgot how unlucky my totems are. You see, the Cowboys were the only local game left on Saturday’s slate, and I just didn’t plan that well, and my crystal-ball is in storage.

I figured I would fold in a trip to Players Sports Bar & Grill during my travel-back and, perhaps, see by main-man, “Handsome Rob,” as a sidebar, while maybe chatting with an interested female companion who might wanna hear about my (ostensibly) awesome day covering football 30-miles north.

Maaaaan, I actually thought WAAAAY too-far ahead …

I’m Scots-American, and my Grandpa Crabbe was born in Glasgow, so that brings with it a firm belief in jinxes. Yes, I knock 3 times on wood to dispel any potential harbinger and recognize the mystical forces of the universe I have zero control over, in the interest of warding off the metaphysical “demons.”

My Dearly-departed-Dad thought this is all nonsense, but he always was wrong.

I have a propensity to wear RED during My Beloved Liverpool’s games, in only odd-numbers of clothing items … (trust-me, it works) and about 20 months ago I figured I might try it with big Trinity High School games.

Sadly, the precognition fell flat on its face. Three of the 4 times I wore RED to Trinity games, they lost. Not-just a week-2 game against Des Lacs-Burlington, mind-you, but the big-uns. So RED is out, forthwith, because I’m bad-luck (wearing RED) when I go to the BAC or the KofCAC. The same is true of orange, royal-blue, maroon, navy-blue or any of the school colors in our coverage area; the risks are just too-great-to-take.

And I don’t do it because — obviously — I’m a jinx when I pull that stunt.

Fast-forward to my fashion faux-pas on Saturday …

I don’t want a single Cowboys player to blame themselves for their loss to Langdon Area-Munich; it rests squarely upon my bootheels. I forgot how criminally unlucky I am when I try this act (unless you count Saturday morning watching Liverpool, because we won, 2-1, over Brighton & Hove Albion while I was wearing RED … I guess it only works when I’m supporting “the Reds” ((it’s not an exact-science)).

Killdeer came up 3-yards short of tying or winning the game in the waning seconds of the fourth quarter, down 44-41, and it’s all my fault. Doggone boots demolished the home-team’s chances … and I was in the pressbox the whole time, realizing what I had done. A thin-layer of sweat breaking out over my body, despite the chilly weather.

In short, I feel bad for my fashion-choices; I shoulda-known-better. (Or turned around in Manning when it dawned on me, in order to go home and change my shoes … like a responsible person.)

So, forthwith, if you see me walking through the gates wearing your team’s colors and/or any references to your mascots, discuss the matter with a coach or usher and have me impolitely escorted out … because I’ve been here before and I know the damage it does. Just in case I weasel my way through, absentmindedly towards your doom, feel free to tackle me or remind me of my perennial jinx-ish-ness, or punch me squarely in the bridge of my nose (the sports-Moms, not the sports-Dads … I’m scared witless over the size of you-dudes).

In the end, I was an upside-down-horseshoe/bad-penny/unmitigated-jinx and you have nobody to blame but myself.

It won’t happen again, but if it does: You’ve been warned.

Gaylon is a sportswriter who originally is from Jensen Beach, Fla. and his column appears weekly. He can be reached at

gparker@thedickinsonpress.com

and/or 701-456-1213.

Gaylon is a sportswriter from Jensen Beach, Fla., but has lived all over the world. Growing up with an athletic background gave him a love of sports that led to a journalism career in such places as Enid, Okla., Alamogordo, N.M., Pascagoula, Miss. and Viera, Fla. since 1998. His main passion is small-town community sports, particularly baseball and soccer.