Minnesota
Astros 13, Twins 12: Rally? Bye, in ashes
Good morning/evening, ladies & gents & non-binary folks.
I wrote most of the parody below when the score was 13-5, only for the Twins to put up seven runs in the bottom of the ninth — including a Carlos Correa grand slam off Josh Hader to put the Twins to within one — before Manuel Margot whiffed to end it.
But as I took my sleep meds (which for some reason take an hour or more to kick in) around 45 minutes ago, I’m not rewriting this.
So note that the downer sentiments expressed below are somewhat mitigated by the exciting ending, even if the conclusion was a letdown.)
This was a cruddy ending,
At last they call game;
No use in us pretending:
One crappy ballgame.
Come into the ballpark, Pablo’s on the mound;
Still at the start where our hope is found.
But everything that happened, it naturally went wrong,
Mmm, the innings pass before us, and we have to chug along.
We matched their three in second by the end of third;
But further anguish beckoned; soon this game would prove a massive turd.
Iiiiiiiii… don’t know what I’m watching;
Each guyyyyyyyyyy… botching every play.
This Houston rout unending,
They whooped us all game.
Their score will keep ascending
This crappy ballgame.
Ten o’clock in the evening, still we’re in the ninth;
We’ve answered twice, they clock us around.
At least Miranda got his streak up to ten;
Hope he gets up tomorrow to bat and can do it again.
In terms of STUDS, it’s just he, and Brooks and Kepler too;
The rest were wholly rusty; DUDS, our pitching; all was rancid poo.
Iiiiiiiii… feel like I could vomit,
But fiiiiiiiiiiind… Comment of the Game.
Oh Iiiiiiiii’m… (What’s in my brain is blending, it’s done so all game)
giving it to Lincoln. (These dragging hours we’re spending, mean crappy ballgame.)
‘Cause Iiiiiiiii’m… (Whatever else is pending? No mind, we’ll call game.)
…thinkin’ this is best. (This lengthy time’s extending this crappy ballgame.)
[NOTE: This is the entire “Little bit of love” section and final chorus, repeated with a crescendo of a choir. For reasons elaborated in the preamble, I’m skipping it and going right to the finish:]
But still this team’s contending;
They battled all game.
Let’s hope tomorrow’s pending
No crappy ballgame.
Minnesota
Bizarre Minnesota laws, including penalties for driving a filthy car, that will shock you
Each state has its own set of laws that seem quite strange, and Minnesota is not exempt.
Many bizarre laws that come out of states are fictional rumors that somehow spread with no evidence backing them. In Minnesota, this includes it being illegal to cross state lines with a duck on your head or parking an elephant on Main Street. Though, there are certain laws that are surprisingly true.
Among Minnesota’s strangest laws include not being allowed to drive with dirty tires and the inability to be charged with drunkenness.
6 WEIRD BEACH LAWS AROUND THE UNITED STATES THAT MAY SURPRISE YOU
Below are more details about these strange laws and more that are on the books in the state of Minnesota.
- You cannot be charged with drunkenness
- It’s against the law to drive with sticky, dirty tires
- Mosquitoes are a public nuisance
- Think twice before hitchhiking
1. You cannot be charged with drunkenness
In Minnesota, public intoxication alone is not a crime.
This is according to Section 340A.902 of Minnesota law.
The law states that “no person may be charged with or convicted of the offense of drunkenness or public drunkenness.”
50 BIZARRE LAWS THAT HAVE EXISTED OR STILL EXIST IN AMERICA
That said, a person could still be convicted of other offenses, like if injuring another or damaging property occurs.
“Nothing herein prevents the prosecution and conviction of an intoxicated person for offenses other than drunkenness or public drunkenness nor does this section relieve a person from civil liability for an injury to persons or property caused by the person while intoxicated,” the written statute goes on to state.
Minnesota is not the only state which does not consider public intoxication a crime.
BIZARRE LAWS IN CALIFORNIA THAT COULD GET YOU INTO TROUBLE
Montana, Nevada and Wisconsin are other states that don’t criminalize drunkenness in public, according to FindLaw.com.
2. It’s against the law to drive with sticky, dirty tires
If you have dirty tires that are spreading filth in the road, be wary before driving down a road in Minnesota. More specifically, in Minnetonka, where driving with dirty tires could lead to legal trouble.
Under Section 845.010, “Public Nuisances Affecting Peace, Safety and General Welfare” in Minnetonka, Minnesota’s Code of Ordinances, drivers are not allowed to drive “a truck or other vehicle whose wheels or tires deposit mud, dirt, sticky substances, litter or other material on any street or highway.”
“A violation of this ordinance is subject to the penalties and provisions of Chapter XIII of the city code,” the law states.
BIZARRE MICHIGAN LAWS THAT WOULD PUZZLE JUST ABOUT ANYONE, INCLUDING CONSEQUENCES FOR SEDUCING UNMARRIED WOMEN
3. Mosquitoes are a public nuisance
Minnesota is home to lots of mosquitoes, so much so that there is actually a law written about the insects.
The law refers to areas where mosquitoes are in abundance.
Section 18G.14 in part states that “areas where mosquitoes incubate or hatch are declared to be public nuisances and may be abated under this section. Mosquito abatement may be undertaken under this section anywhere in the state by any governmental unit.”
WEIRD SOUTH CAROLINA LAWS THAT WILL SURPRISE YOU, INCLUDING THE RAMIFICATION OF BUYING SILVERWARE ON SUNDAYS
4. Think twice before hitchhiking
Think twice before trying to catch a ride by waiting on the side of the road in Minnesota.
State statute 169.22 describes the act of hitchhiking as unlawful.
“No person shall stand in a roadway for the purpose of soliciting a ride from the driver of any private vehicle,” the statute states.
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Another section of this statute applies to solicitation of business.
“No person shall stand on a roadway for the purpose of soliciting employment, business, or contributions from the occupant of any vehicle,” the statute states.
Minnesota
What six independent voters in Minnesota think about the presidential election
This time around, Vraa said he’s “probably ready” to vote for Harris. “Trump lies so much it’s crazy,” he said. “The cats and dogs pronouncement during the debate. It’s crazy. He bounces around on so many things. It would be OK if he just admitted he made a mistake, but then he doubles down..”
Bird, who works in finance, grew up in a conservative Minnesota household and has voted for Democrats, Republicans, Libertarians and independents. Bird voted for Libertarian Gary Johnson in 2016 and for Biden in 2020. “I really try to take it person by person, year over year,” he said.
Bird’s top issues this election include the burgeoning national debt — which now stands at more than $35 trillion. “They need to curb spending, both candidates should be talking about it,” he said. “Nobody cares about the deficit, and running the government in a way that makes sense.”
Bird is also concerned about the economy, but notes, “as a white-collar worker, in general the economy has been favorable to me.” And he supports abortion rights: “People should have the freedom to do what they want.”
Bird said he’s voting for Harris. “I don’t mind her, I think she’s a good person. She’s a standard Democrat.”
Freyholtz is a Vietnam veteran and retired teacher who runs a family farm in the northwestern Minnesota town of about 250 people.
Minnesota
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