Minnesota

Astros 13, Twins 12: Rally? Bye, in ashes

Published

6 months ago

July 6, 2024

Astros 13, Twins 12: Rally? Bye, in ashes

Good morning/evening, ladies & gents & non-binary folks.

I wrote most of the parody below when the score was 13-5, only for the Twins to put up seven runs in the bottom of the ninth — including a Carlos Correa grand slam off Josh Hader to put the Twins to within one — before Manuel Margot whiffed to end it.

But as I took my sleep meds (which for some reason take an hour or more to kick in) around 45 minutes ago, I’m not rewriting this.

So note that the downer sentiments expressed below are somewhat mitigated by the exciting ending, even if the conclusion was a letdown.)

This was a cruddy ending,
At last they call game;
No use in us pretending:
One crappy ballgame.

Come into the ballpark, Pablo’s on the mound;
Still at the start where our hope is found.
But everything that happened, it naturally went wrong,
Mmm, the innings pass before us, and we have to chug along.

We matched their three in second by the end of third;
But further anguish beckoned; soon this game would prove a massive turd.

Iiiiiiiii… don’t know what I’m watching;
Each guyyyyyyyyyy… botching every play.

This Houston rout unending,
They whooped us all game.
Their score will keep ascending
This crappy ballgame.

Ten o’clock in the evening, still we’re in the ninth;
We’ve answered twice, they clock us around.
At least Miranda got his streak up to ten;
Hope he gets up tomorrow to bat and can do it again.

In terms of STUDS, it’s just he, and Brooks and Kepler too;
The rest were wholly rusty; DUDS, our pitching; all was rancid poo.

Iiiiiiiii… feel like I could vomit,
But fiiiiiiiiiiind… Comment of the Game.
Oh Iiiiiiiii’m… (What’s in my brain is blending, it’s done so all game)
giving it to Lincoln. (These dragging hours we’re spending, mean crappy ballgame.)
‘Cause Iiiiiiiii’m… (Whatever else is pending? No mind, we’ll call game.)
…thinkin’ this is best. (This lengthy time’s extending this crappy ballgame.)

[NOTE: This is the entire “Little bit of love” section and final chorus, repeated with a crescendo of a choir. For reasons elaborated in the preamble, I’m skipping it and going right to the finish:]

But still this team’s contending;
They battled all game.
Let’s hope tomorrow’s pending
No crappy ballgame.

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Related Topics:ashes Astros bye Featured front page Houston in minnesota minnesota-twins-game-recaps rally town twinkie Twins

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Minnesota

NEXT Weather: 10 p.m. report for Minnesota on Dec. 25, 2024

Published

2 hours ago

December 26, 2024

Press Room

NEXT Weather: 10 p.m. report for Minnesota on Dec. 25, 2024 – CBS Minnesota

Watch CBS News

WCCO meteorologist Lisa Meadows says rain will move in late Thursday and stick around into the weekend.

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Minnesota

MSU Alum Having Career Year for Minnesota Vikings

Published

13 hours ago

December 25, 2024

Press Room

MSU Alum Having Career Year for Minnesota Vikings

Former Michigan State wide receiver and current Minnesota Viking Jalen Nailor has been terrific in his third season in the pros. As the third wide receiver on the field alongside Justin Jefferson and Jordan Addison, Nailor has improved his career numbers in his now third year in the league.

Drafted in the sixth round of the 2022 NFL Draft out of MSU, the Vikings landed a strong piece to an even stronger offense in the Vikings. Nailor’s efforts since joining the Vikings have provided the franchise comfort knowing he is out on the field.

In his first season, Nailor played in 15 games, recording nine receptions in 13 targets. He posted 179 receiving yards in his rookie campaign, averaging 19.9 yards per reception. Receiving seven first downs in Year 1, the Vikings looked to get Nailor more involved on the roster in Year 2.

Though the team wanted to get more out of Nailor, they were unable to due to Nailor’s lack of time on the field. In his second season, Nailor only played in six games. In the six games, Nailor totaled only three receptions that went for 29 receiving yards. Nailor received one first down on the season before he was inactive in Weeks 15, 16 and 17.

In what would be a do-or-die season after a lackluster second-season campaign, Nailor made sure he reminded Viking fans why he belonged. Playing in 15 games for the Vikings this season, Nailor has dropped career highs in four different statistical categories. MSU fans should be proud of their former Spartan.

Nailor has 20 receptions, which is one of his new career highs, and he has totaled 280 yards, averaging 14 yards per reception. His best game on the season came against the Detroit Lions back in Week 7, where he recorded four receptions in five targets and got 76 receiving yards, averaging 19 yards per reception.

As the Vikings approach the postseason, Nailor should be a key piece to a deep playoff run if the Vikings make it as far. Minnesota, going into Week 17, has a record of 13-2 and should continue to be a force to take seriously for whoever it faces in the playoffs.

Don’t forget to follow the official Spartan Nation Page on Facebook Spartan Nation WHEN YOU CLICK RIGHT HERE, and be a part of our vibrant community group Go Green Go White as well WHEN YOU CLICK RIGHT HERE

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