Lifestyle
What is the 'shadow self' and why is everyone talking about their hidden desires?
Earlier this year, a spiritual coach and reiki healer who goes by the name Zen Oasis posted a video to TikTok explaining the idea of “the shadow self” to her 167,000 followers.
Sitting lotus-style in a yellow halter top with a stick of sage smoldering in one hand, the Atlanta native described an exercise she did to become acquainted with her own shadow — a term coined by the early 20th century psychologist Carl Jung to describe the parts of our psyches that we have buried deep in our subconscious.
“I sat down and wrote down all the things I can’t stand about people. The things that really got me like, yech, ick,” she said, one hand raised in disgust. “Then I looked at that really long list and took my top five, and I was just like, ‘You know what? This is me. This is me all day.’”
“It might sound a type of way,” she said. “But this was the best way for me to see the things I can’t see about myself.”
The video, which has been viewed more than 36,000 times, is just one of over 48 million on the social media platform that explores the topic of shadow, and one more piece of evidence of a wide-ranging resurgence of Jungian fascination.
“People are really uncertain about the world and where it’s going to go and they are coming to Jung because they want to find solutions,” said Christophe Le Mouel, director of the C.G. Jung Institute of Los Angeles.
At a time when conversations around self-discovery are surging, the analyst’s theories on the collective unconscious, archetypes and shadow are increasingly influencing the work of social media-savvy healers, therapists and life coaches. It’s also the inspiration for new tarot-like card decks, thought provoking Etsy prints and the recently published “The Shadow Work Journal” that sold more than a million copies thanks in part to a wildly successful TikTok marketing campaign.
Sixty-three years after his death, Jung’s ideas — especially the concept of the “shadow” — are having a moment.
“Reading his work, I was like man, this stuff is 100 years old, but it resonated so deeply,” Zen Oasis said in a phone call. “It helped me synthesize what I already knew intuitively.’”
How did Jung define the shadow? And why is the idea having a resurgence today? To learn more I called up Lisa Marchiano, a Jungian analyst from Philadelphia and co-host of the popular podcast “This Jungian Life,” which itself has more than 50,000 subscribers, and author of the new book “The Vital Spark.”
In an interview, Marchiano discusses how Jung defined shadow, why we all have one and the reasons behind people’s renewed interest in the concept.
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
What is the shadow self?
If it’s referring to Jung’s concept of the shadow, I will say that he didn’t use the term “shadow self.” He talked about the shadow.
The shadow is the part of ourselves that we’ve disowned. Jung once said the shadow is everything we don’t want to be. It’s something that we think that we’re not. “Oh, we’re not like that.” “I’m not like that.” Well, actually, we are like that, we just don’t have a conscious relationship with those parts of ourselves. But we could, and that’s the really constructive part about getting curious about shadow.
Is it a fundamental idea in Jungian psychology?
Jung had so many insights that have entered everyday parlance. Shadow is one of them but also synchronicity, introversion and extroversion, the collective unconscious. But shadow is certainly a fundamental idea of Jung’s. He felt that doing shadow work was really the first part of the work of analysis and the work of what he called individuation because it’s the entry point into the depths.
Does everyone have a shadow?
In Jungian theory we all have a shadow and it’s made up of two components. There’s a personal shadow and then there’s the collective shadow. To keep things simple I’ll talk mostly about the personal shadow.
Where do our shadows come from?
So, we’re born with all kinds of potential and in the course of growing up and developing a healthy, functioning ego, we find there are parts of ourselves that we have to push aside. This is normal. It’s necessary. It’s healthy. It happens to all of us. Some of what gets relegated to the shadow is stuff that really might cause a problem in a collective society like aggression or greed. But also a lot of what gets pushed into the shadow might be more constructive.
What are some ways to identify what’s in our shadow?
In every family there is usually something that you are not supposed to be. In some families you are absolutely not supposed to be lazy and if you wind up sitting around watching TV that is the worst thing and it means that you’re lazy. Other families you might not be allowed to be impractical or whimsical. In my family you were not allowed to be immodest or boastful. If you’re wondering about your shadow, it can be helpful to ask yourself what was the one thing you were not allowed to be in your family. That will often be a clue to what might be in your shadow.
Why is it useful to examine one’s shadow?
When shadow is totally unconscious we tend to project it. When you feel really hot outrage at someone else, you need to ask yourself: “Where is that in me? What’s that about internally?”
The other reason that it’s helpful to do shadow work is that a lot of what is in the shadow is actually full of vitality and energy that we can use in service to life and growth. Jung reportedly said once that 99% of the shadow is pure gold.
To use myself as an example, I was like, “I can’t seek center stage, I can’t look for attention, I have to be very modest.” But when I got over myself a little bit and did my shadow work, my ability to put myself out there has proven to be very vivifying and enlivening and it has helped me in my career.
How does one embark on shadow work?
The first answer to that is to get curious about what’s in shadow. Notice what gets you really hot. When do you have an outsized reaction of outrage to someone or something? When do you notice that sense of self-righteousness and that huge inflation that comes with being just and on the right side of history? It might be good to say, “Hmm. Wait a second. Who am I hating on right now? And where might that be in me?”
And then just continuing to be open to that. Where might we be a little greedy, a little selfish? Where might we be behaving in shadowy ways?
Why do you think this idea is resonating so strongly right now?
I think that Jung’s ideas have a perennial quality. They always return and with renewed freshness and interest. I definitely think “The Shadow Work Journal” helped it initially, but why did it catch fire? Why did it explode in the public imagination?
I think people appreciate Jung’s ideas and return to them because they sense that there is just an inherent truth in it.
Jung said our ability to do this work could make the difference between whether or not the human race survives. And given how polarized we are, I don’t know that I disagree with that. So in a way, it’s very gratifying to hear that this kind of language is permeating social media.
But I know that things can get flattened and oversimplified and changed on social media so I’m not without some concern about it. One of my concerns is the idea that shadow work is something you can do and be done with. That’s not the way it works. You’re always working on shadow — you can’t make it go away. What you can do is strive to be more conscious of it.
Neve Campbell in Scream 7.
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The OG Scream Queen Neve Campbell returns. Scream 7 re-centers the franchise back on Sidney Prescott. She has a new life, a family, and lots of baggage. You know the drill: Someone dressing up as the masked slasher Ghostface comes for her, her family and friends. There’s lots of stabbing and murder and so many red herrings it’s practically a smorgasbord.
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Abriana Vicioso is the host of the Flower Hour, which takes place monthly.
(Jennifer McCord / For The Times)
Each flower carries a personal history. For Abriana Vicioso, the calla lily was her parents’ wedding flower — a symbol of her mother’s beauty. “She had this big, beautiful white calla lily in her hair,” Vicioso says. “I love my parents. They’re the reason I’m here. I’ll never forget where I came from.”
The Flower Hour begins with Vicioso announcing, with a warm smile: “Today is about touching grass.” The florist-by-trade gestures behind her to hundreds of flowers contained in buckets — blue thistles, ivory anemones and calla lilies painted silver — all twisted and unfurling into the air. “Tonight is going to be so sweet and intimate,” Vicioso says, eyeing the beautiful chaos at her feet. A grin buds across her face.
Moments before the workshop, participants sit at candlelit tables exchanging horoscopes and comparing their favorite flowers. A mention of the illustrious bird-of-paradise flower elicits coos and awe from the women. Izamar Vazquez, who is from Jalisco, Mexico, reveals her fondness for roses, which make her feel connected to her Mexican roots.
Vicioso hosts her flower-themed wellness workshop near the iconic Original Los Angeles Flower Market in downtown L.A. In January, the first Flower Hour event sold out, prompting her to make it a monthly series. Vicioso describes the event as a “three-part journey” where participants are invited to drink herbal tea, smoke rose-petal-rolled cannabis joints and create a floral arrangement. “The guide is to connect with the medicine of flowers,” Vicioso says.
Rose petal joints, tea and flower arranging are all part of The Flower Hour event’s offerings.
The event is hosted at the Art Club, a membership-based co-working space. “The Flower Hour is really beautiful. Everyone gets to explore their creativity while meeting new people,” says Lindsay Williams, the co-owner of the Art Club.
The idea for Flower Hour came to Vicioso during a conversation with her mother. “We joke all the time that flowers were destined to make their way into my life,” she says. She works as a florist and models on the side, even appearing in the pages of Vogue. Vicioso grew up in a Caribbean household, where flowers and offerings were part of daily life. “In my culture and religion, a lot of my family practices — an Afro-Caribbean religion — we build altars.”
Like many cultures, flowers carry sentimental value in her religion. “I’m Caribbean, so a lot of my family practices a Yoruba religion, which comes from Africa. In the Caribbean, it’s well known as Santería.”
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After a difficult year and a breakup, Vicioso wanted to marry her love of flowers with community building. Because Vicioso uses cannabis medicinally, the workshop naturally includes a smoking component. “My family has smoked cannabis for a lot of reasons for a long time. It’s a really healing plant,” she explains.
In the workshop, even the cannabis gets the floral treatment. Vicioso presents her rose-petal-wrapped joints on a silver platter at each table. She rolled each by hand. “If you’ve never smoked a rose-petal-rolled joint, the difference with this is it’s going to have roses that have a slight tobacco effect,” she announces.
During the workshop, Vicioso stresses the importance of buying cannabis from local vendors. The cannabis provided was purchased from a Northern Californian vendor. The wellness workshop aims to reclaim the healing ritual of smoking cannabis. “This is a plant that has been commercialized,” Vicioso says. “There’s a lot of Black and Brown people who are in jail for this plant.”
The resulting workshop is what Vicioso describes as “an immersive wellness experience that is the intersection of wellness, creativity, community and an appreciation of flowers.” The workshop serves as a reminder to enjoy Earth’s innate beauty in the form of flowers — including cannabis. “It’s this gift that the universe gave us for free and that I have this deep connection with,” Vicioso says.
Conversation cards to generate discussion among participants (top, letf). The workshop serves as a “third space” for Angelenos to engage in tactile creativity and community building outside of traditional nightlife settings.
After enjoying lavender chamomile tea and smoking a joint, Vicioso introduces the flowers to the group before inviting them to pick their own. She emphasizes each flower’s personality traits, describing green dianthus as a “Dr. Seuss” plant. Then, there are calla lilies with their “main character moment.” It gets personal. “Start thinking of a flower in your life that you can discover,” she says. “If you’re feeling like you need inspiration, you can always remember that these flowers have stories.”
Vicioso infuses wisdom into her instruction on floral arrangements: There are no mistakes. Let the flowers tell you where they want to go, she urges. Intuition will be your guide — the wilder, the better.
“Hecho in Mexico” reads a sticker on a bunch of green stems. “Like me,” says Vazquez with a laugh. “They’re all doing their own thing. Like a family,” she says later, arranging stems.
The Flower Hour participants and Vicioso, center, chat as they build their own floral arrangements at the sold-out event.
Two participants — Vazquez and Rebeca Alvarado — are friends who run a floral design company together called Izza Rose. Like Vicioso, the friends have a connection to flowers through their Latin American culture. They met Vicioso in the floral industry and were overjoyed to discover her workshop.
“This is a great way to connect with other people,” says Vazquez.
Alvarado agrees, adding: “You’re getting to know people outside of going to bars. You can connect in different ways when there’s an activity.”
Vazquez uses flowers to stay connected to her Mexican heritage, adding that she prefers to support Mexican vendors. In recent months, the downtown L.A. flower market has struggled to recover from ongoing ICE raids. “Some are scared to come back,” says Vazquez.
Hand-rolled cannabis joints wrapped in rose petals are presented on a silver platter at The ArtClub (top, right). The Flower Hour aims to reclaim the healing rituals of cannabis and flowers.
Another participant, Barbara Rios, was attracted to the workshop for stress relief. “You can hang out with your friends, but it’s nice to do things with your hands,” she says. “I work a stressful job, and it’s nice to have that third space that we’re all craving.”
On this February night, the participants were predominantly women, save for one man. In the future, Vicioso hopes that more men learn to engage with flowers. “There’s a statistic about men receiving flowers for the first time at their funerals, and I think we have changed that,” she says.
To conclude the workshop, Vicioso encourages participants to build lasting friendships and incorporate flower arranging into their daily practice — even if it’s just with a small, inexpensive bouquet.
“Get some flowers together, go to the park, hang out with each other and hang out with me,” she says. Participants leave with flower arrangements in hand. In the darkness of the night air, it briefly looks as though the women carry silver calla lilies that are blooming from their palms.
An underwater view shows US’ Lilly King competing in a heat of the women’s 200m breaststroke swimming event during the Paris 2024 Olympic Games at the Paris La Defense Arena in Nanterre, west of Paris, on July 31, 2024. (Photo by François-Xavier MARIT / AFP) (Photo by FRANCOIS-XAVIER MARIT/AFP via Getty Images)
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This week’s show was recorded in Bloomington, Indiana with host Peter Sagal, judge and scorekeeper Bill Kurtis, Not My Job guest Lilly King and panelists Alonzo Bodden, Josh Gondelman, and Faith Salie. Click the audio link above to hear the whole show.
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