Connect with us

Lifestyle

Opinion: Resolutions aren't the key to a happier new year. Here's where to start

Published

on

Opinion: Resolutions aren't the key to a happier new year. Here's where to start

We tend to look to the New Year as a new beginning, as an opportunity for a fresh start. Aspiring for something different, something better, we devise resolutions in hopes of making ourselves healthier, more productive, more successful … but really, the end goal is to be happier: to feel satisfied rather than wanting at this same time next year.

We seek ingredients for this new and better life from magazine headlines and “how to” experts promising that a New Year might indeed transform each of us into a “new you.” However, nobody needs outside guidance or expertise to identify their sources of satisfaction. We don’t have to search for something new and different. The best indicator of what will make us happy is what has made us happy.

I teach a course to UCLA graduate business students and executives called Applying the Science of Happiness to Life Design. The objective of the 10-week elective is straightforward: to guide students toward enjoying greater satisfaction in their days, careers and lives overall. I introduce them to a multitude of findings from academic research across the fields of psychology and behavioral decision making, but the students’ most important lessons come from the assignments that push them to reflect on their own experiences.

One of these assignments is remarkably simple. It takes only a few minutes, and you could do it right now. Reflecting over your past year, what were the times when you felt the greatest joy? Think about it for a moment, and jot down the five activities from the past 12 months that you experienced as happiest. It is these activities that made you feel happy before that hold the greatest promise to make you feel happy in the future.

Notice, this is different from me asking you about what activities in general make you happiest. That question is unhelpfully vague and potentially daunting. Without the defined time frame of the past 12 months, it leads to answers based on abstract beliefs, rather than your actual experiences, which can prove misleading in pursuing happiness.

Advertisement

If you’re nervous about the accuracy of your recall of the past dozen months or you’re someone who gains confidence from data, you could also do the time-tracking assignment. Over the course of a week, for each half-hour you’re awake, write down what activity you did and how you felt on a 10-point scale. For these ratings, reflect honestly on how satisfied and fulfilled you felt coming out of that activity. Though it may seem tedious to track your time for a whole week, looking back across your numbers to identify your emotional high points can be surprisingly illuminating.

You’re likely to notice which modes of socializing feel most meaningful for you. You’ll see which work activities or tasks are the most rewarding. Even though you might have thought of evening TV watching as a prize and you have dreaded exercise, your data could very well reveal your couch time as meh and exercise as energizing or even fun, especially when done in a particular setting or with a particular workout buddy.

These assignments are more useful than broad “top New Year’s resolution tips” drawn from the experiences of swaths of people, many of whose circumstances and preferences are quite different from yours. Your own prior experiences offer far more information and precise guidance about what will make you happy going forward.

A similar strategy can guide your approach not only to the year ahead but for many years to come. To find what is likely to produce lasting happiness in your life, you could ask someone who is closer to the end of theirs to look back. Yet another assignment I give my students is to ask an elder who has lived a good life — someone who is happy and views their past with satisfaction instead of regret — to reflect on their sources of pride. Ask an elder you admire what brought them the greatest joy over the years. Their past experiences, much like your own, can inform your future decisions.

Take a look back to identify your sources of happiness, and resolve for these next 12 months to protect time for them amid the busyness of life.

Advertisement

Cassie Holmes, a professor of marketing and behavioral decision making at UCLA’s Anderson School of Management, is the author of “Happier Hour.”

Lifestyle

‘Wait Wait’ for April 18. 2026: With Not My Job guest Phil Pritchard

Published

on

‘Wait Wait’ for April 18. 2026: With Not My Job guest Phil Pritchard

Phil Pritchard of the Hockey Hall of Fame works the 2019 NHL Awards at the Mandalay Bay Events Center on June 19, 2019 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

Bruce Bennett/Getty Images


hide caption

toggle caption

Advertisement

Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

This week’s show was recorded in Chicago with host Peter Sagal, judge and guest scorekeeper Alzo Slade, Not My Job guest Phil Pritchard and panelists Alonzo Bodden, Adam Burke, and Dulcé Sloan. Click the audio link above to hear the whole show.

Who’s Alzo This Time

The Don Vs The Poppa; World’s Worst Doctor; Should We Eat That?

Advertisement

Panel Questions

Big Cheese News!

Bluff The Listener

Our panelists tell three stories about someone missing a huge opportunity in the news, only one of which is true.

Not My Job: Phil Pritchard, the NHL’s Keeper of the Stanley Cup, answers three questions about the other NHL, National Historic Landmarks

Advertisement

Peter talks to Phil Pritchard, the NHL’s Keeper of the Stanley Cup. Phil plays our game called, “Let’s Go Visit The NHL” Three questions about National Historic Landmarks.

Panel Questions

The Trump Dump and Air Traffic Control Becomes Animal Control

Limericks

Alzo Slade reads three news-related limericks: Spice Up Your Spring Cleaning; A Fizzy Meaty Drink; The Right Way to Eat Peeps.

Advertisement

Lightning Fill In The Blank

All the news we couldn’t fit anywhere else

Predictions

Our panelists predict the next big AirBnB story in the news

Advertisement
Continue Reading

Lifestyle

How to have the best Sunday in L.A., according to Paul W. Downs

Published

on

How to have the best Sunday in L.A., according to Paul W. Downs

Paul W. Downs can’t help it that even on the weekends, his life intersects with “Hacks,” the HBO comedy he co-created and co-showruns with his wife, Lucia Aniello, and their friend Jen Statsky. (He also appears on the show as Jimmy LuSaque Jr., the besieged manager of its two stars, played by Emmy winners Jean Smart and Hannah Einbinder.) The fifth and final season of “Hacks” premiered last week, but on Downs’ days off, he often finds himself at its previous filming locations or hanging out with cast members who have become like family.

Sunday Funday infobox logo with colorful spot illustrations

In Sunday Funday, L.A. people give us a play-by-play of their ideal Sunday around town. Find ideas and inspiration on where to go, what to eat and how to enjoy life on the weekends.

Downs moved to Los Angeles in 2011, but soon after, he and Aniello were hired to write (and for him to act) on the über-New York show “Broad City,” keeping them away from the West Coast for years. Now the couple live in Los Feliz, which they enjoy with their young son.

Advertisement

“I love Los Feliz because it’s a real neighborhood with restaurants and bars, but also feels close to nature with Griffith Park,” Downs says. “Also it’s very central to my Eastside friends and Westside agents.”

And if he had to live at a local mall, like the character Ava Daniels did in the third season of “Hacks,” which would he choose?

“It would be the Americana, obviously.”

Here’s how he’d spend a perfect day in L.A.

10 a.m.: A late rise and a li’l barista

Advertisement

I’m sleeping in if I can, which I can’t because I have a toddler, but let’s say I can sleep ’til 10. That would be insane.

Then I’m making coffee at home. I’m making it with my 4-year-old because he likes to make my coffee now. He always wanted to help, now he really wants to do it on his own. I’m still there to supervise, but he does do a lot of it.

I do batch brew. I’m doing Verve Coffee that I’m grinding there, and then I’m brewing four cups because I need my coffee. I had a Moccamaster for a long time, but I recently got a Simply Good Coffee. There’s no plastic — it’s all glass and metal.

11 a.m.: Chocolate croissants for everyone

We’re driving to Pasadena and we’re going to [Artisanal Goods by] CAR, which is the place to get the best chocolate croissant, I think, in the world. I don’t just think in L.A., I think they’re better than Paris. I’m going there with my wife and my kid and I’m having another coffee and some pastry. We’re ordering three [chocolate croissants]. We’re not doubling up.

Advertisement

11:45 a.m.: The family business

We’re driving to Fair Oaks in Pasadena. There’s a place called T.L. Gurley. We shot “Hacks” there, actually. Not only in Season 1, but also full circle in Season 5. We’re going to shmay around and look at antiques. My kid is going to want to play a vintage pinball machine. We’re going to find a little piece of art for the house or what have you. It’s not necessarily that I’m on the hunt. It’s to pass the time and to have some fun. If I could do anything and have a leisurely day and take my mind off work, that’s what I’m doing.

People love to interact with my kid when he’s there. We’re really training him to appraise things at a young age. My parents are part-time dealers of antiques. My grandmother bought and sold antiques. It’s kind of a family business.

1:30 pm.: Baguettes and books

We’re driving to Larchmont and we’re getting a sandwich at Larchmont Village Wine, Spirits & Cheese. I’m doing prosciutto-mozzarella-basil on a baguette.

Advertisement

Then we’re going to Chevalier’s Books. What’s sad is that I’m often not looking for leisure material. I’m looking for something that I’m interested in learning more about or writing about, or that they’re turning into a show I want to audition for. But we’re also doing Little Golden Books for my son. He’s obsessed. We’re not huge on screen time, so we really encourage the book-buying.

2:30 p.m.: Cast pool party

We’re having some family fun in the pool and we’re doing that until evening. We invite people over all the time. My sister-in-law is a New Yorker, but she actually wrote last season on “The Rooster” and she’s often writing on shows in L.A., so she’s often here and she’ll have a couple friends come over. I know this sounds like a piece of PR or something, but we’ll really literally have Hannah [Einbinder] and maybe Mark Indelicato from “Hacks” come over to swim. Jen, our co-creator of “Hacks,” will come over.

6:00 p.m.: Family dinner

Sometimes we’ll order Grá to the house, which is a pizza place in Echo Park — excellent sourdough crust pizza. But if we don’t do that, an ideal evening is an early dinner at All Time on Hillhurst in Los Feliz. We’re ordering the ceviche and my son is having all of it and not sharing with anybody at the table.

Advertisement

8:45 p.m.: A thrilling ending to the day

After putting my kid to bed, my wife and I, in an ideal world (full disclosure: we haven’t done this in two years), we’ll watch something together that we’ve been meaning to watch. We have a long list of movies and we either want to revisit or that we haven’t seen that we need to watch.

We don’t watch a lot of comedies. It’s a dream to watch a “Black Bag” or a little espionage thriller. We really like that because it’s so different than the stuff that we’re working on in the day.

Often the things we watch are things that we admire. We like deconstructing it as fans of film and television. We do like talking about the making of it, but it’s less of a critique and more of a listing of the things we appreciated about it.

10:30 p.m.: No work tomorrow

Advertisement

And then it’s lovemaking ’til morning on a perfect Sunday. If it’s a perfect Sunday, there’s also a Monday that’s off.

Continue Reading

Lifestyle

Sitting in a jail cell, alone and hopeless, a man’s life is suddenly changed

Published

on

Sitting in a jail cell, alone and hopeless, a man’s life is suddenly changed

Jay (not pictured) found himself alone and hopeless in a jail cell when a fellow inmate’s unexpected words of comfort changed his life.

Irkham Khalid/Getty Images


hide caption

toggle caption

Advertisement

Irkham Khalid/Getty Images

When Jay was 22 years old, he was a self-described loner. In this story, he is being identified by his nickname to allow himself to speak candidly about the following experience and his mental health. He says the few people he did hang out with at the time had questionable morals.

 ”I chose my friends poorly, and your friends have a tendency to rub off on you. And so I started making poor decisions,” Jay said.

One evening, when he and his friends were out drinking, someone suggested they should try to break into the chemistry building on his college campus. Most of the group shrugged the suggestion off, deeming it impossible, but Jay was convinced he could pull it off.

Advertisement

“The next night I made a plan of how to do it, and I did it,” Jay remembered. “And I didn’t get caught doing it, [but] I got caught afterwards.”

At around 1 that morning, Jay was placed in the county detention center. Sitting alone in his cell, reality began to sink in.

“I pretty much thought that my life as I knew it was going to be over, and I had decided that the world would be better off without me in it.”

Jay made a plan to end his life. As he prepared himself, he began to cry.

“But just in that moment when I was ready to do it, I heard a voice coming from the top left corner of my cell, from a little vent. And someone called out to me and said, ‘Hey, is this your first time?’”

Advertisement

The man who called out was an inmate in the cell next door.

“I collected myself a little bit, and I said, ‘Yeah.’ And he said, ‘Can I pray for you?’”

Jay had grown up religious, but had stopped going to church years before. In that moment, though, he knew he needed support. He said yes, and listened as the man began to pray.

“I wish I could tell you that I remember the [exact] words that he said to me, but what I remember is that his words landed with me, and instead of wanting my life to be over, suddenly I saw hope,” Jay said.

The interaction happened nearly ten years ago, but it was a pivotal moment in Jay’s life, and one he thinks about all the time.

Advertisement

“[Now], I have a good job. I have a girlfriend who loves me. I have a life. But I have a life because somebody who was in the same situation I was in had the courage to talk to a fellow inmate and be kind.”

Jay says that he wishes he could meet that man again and express his appreciation.

“[I would] shake that guy’s hand, give him a hug, and tell him what his small gesture meant for me, how he changed the course of my life.”

My Unsung Hero is also a podcast — new episodes are released every Tuesday. To share the story of your unsung hero with the Hidden Brain team, record a voice memo on your phone and send it to myunsunghero@hiddenbrain.org.

Advertisement
Continue Reading
Advertisement

Trending