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L.A. Affairs: I discovered my dad's secret children. It changed us forever

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L.A. Affairs: I discovered my dad's secret children. It changed us forever

We all have a past — little ghosts of heartache and regret that can haunt us forever.

But for some people, the ghosts can become demons.

My father was one of those people. In his 94 years, he was married four times and had at least seven kids besides me. Three of them I grew up knowing: my half-siblings Donna, Karen and Michael, born after World War II when my father separated from the Army and came to Los Angeles with dreams of being the next Perry Como.

The other kids, he kept hidden from me at all costs.

That was because he had left them when he met my mom, his fourth wife. He married her in 1982 and had me — when he was 57 — in 1984.

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I was the only child he ever raised to adulthood. Growing up, knowing little of my father’s past, I idolized him. He was a decorated veteran. An usher at the Cathedral of St. Vibiana. My grade-school football coach. Leader of the neighborhood watch.

He put the “all” in all-American.

But he was almost a little too perfect. Like most people with skeletons, my father was adept at hiding them. As I became an adult and started to make my own mistakes — as I started to understand the weight a person’s decisions can carry — I found myself longing to find a single chink in his armor; some flaw of his that would let me put my own problems into context. I didn’t want to idolize him anymore. I wanted to connect with him.

But he never let me — until our doorbell rang one summer afternoon in 2010 and forced him to.

It was a woman, about 10 years older than I was, with light brown skin. Her name was Maria. She asked if this was where Ned Manley lived. I said it was. My dad came to the door and talked to her quietly on the front lawn of our Temple City corner lot. I watched from the window. When she left, she glanced back at me for just a moment — and I knew my life had changed forever.

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Maria was one of three daughters my father had during a decade-long affair in the 1970s with a Mexican immigrant in East Los Angeles. At the time, he was on his third marriage. When he met my mom at Sunday Mass in 1979, he fell in love. And then, for reasons I still don’t fully understand, he left Maria and her siblings and never looked back. He managed to hide everything — the affairs, the kids — not only from my mother and me but also from Donna, Karen and Michael.

When I confronted him, he confessed. He said Maria had spent years looking for him. She wanted a relationship now. His fear was palpable. He begged me not to tell my half-siblings. Not to tell my mother, a devoted churchgoer and faithful wife. The news would devastate her.

I was angry at him for putting me in this impossible situation. I told him I wanted no part of it. I tried to get him to come clean. I tried to tell him that it would be OK. But then, slowly, my anger began to melt. His fear began to form a strange, unshakeable bond between us. As the weeks went by, I realized — uncomfortably — that if anything, I loved him now more than ever. For the first time in my life, I saw my dad as human. As fallible.

So I kept his secret for 11 long years. He met with Maria whenever he could and emailed her every week, making up for lost time until he was on his deathbed in 2021. Just before he died, with the specter of Maria and her sisters possibly coming to his funeral, I told my family about them. My mom and half-siblings said they understood. They told me this was not my fault. They tried to welcome their new family members with open arms. But their eyes told a different story. They were hurt; shocked to find out that a man they thought they knew so well could have hidden something like this. Not to mention the hurt that Maria and her sisters still felt — a hurt that eventually led to us keeping in touch only with Christmas cards or the occasional text.

I don’t blame them for feeling this way. But my own feelings toward my father were — and still are — different. Because I am the only person he never left. He gave me every ounce of blood and sweat he had, quietly trying to atone for the long-buried mistakes of his past. And we connected in his last years in a way we never would have if Maria hadn’t come to our door. Through his mistakes, I came to understand my own. I understood why I had pushed away many people who loved me. I understood why I liked to leave people and situations that were good for me. I understood the anxiety I had about getting into committed relationships, and why, when I was in them, I felt tempted to have my own affairs.

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But most of all, I understood why I reveled in secrets. I understood why I liked to keep my real feelings from my family, my friends and my romantic partners. And I understood — long before I married my wife in 2019 and had two beautiful children with her — why I needed to stop.

After my father died, genealogical and family records revealed that he had a seventh child, a son named Lionel born during his third marriage. We are still looking for him. And I am still unraveling my father’s secrets, one by one. But his final years taught me, in their own way, that it’s never too late to open up, to be vulnerable, to start over. He turned on a light deep inside me that let me know it’s always OK to be honest and come home — wherever home may be.

The author is a recent law school graduate and screenwriter. He lives in Covina with his wife and two children. Visit his website at darrenmanley.co.

L.A. Affairs chronicles the search for romantic love in all its glorious expressions in the L.A. area, and we want to hear your true story. We pay $400 for a published essay. Email LAAffairs@latimes.com. You can find submission guidelines here. You can find past columns here.

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Sam Neill, known for ‘Jurassic Park’ and ‘The Piano,’ dies at 78, his family says

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Sam Neill, known for ‘Jurassic Park’ and ‘The Piano,’ dies at 78, his family says

Sam Neill arrives at the premiere of “Apples Never Fall” on March 12, 2024, in Los Angeles.

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Richard Shotwell/AP Photo/Invision

WELLINGTON, New Zealand — Sam Neill, a smoothly elegant and versatile actor whose career moved from art film to blockbuster as he dodged velociraptors in “Jurassic Park” to playing Holly Hunter’s husband in “The Piano,” has died. He was 78.

In 2023, Neill disclosed he had been diagnosed with angioimmunoblastic T-cell lymphoma, a rare type of non-Hodgkin lymphoma. Neill died on Monday in Sydney, according to a statement posted to the actor’s social media page.

His death was “sudden and unexpected,” the statement said, adding that he “remained cancer free” when he died. A cause of death wasn’t specified.

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“Sam was surrounded by family and passed with the dignity that has characterised his whole life,” his family wrote.

Actor came to world’s notice with ‘Dead Calm’ and ‘My Brilliant Career’

Neill was one of a host of actors and directors who achieved international fame after an explosion of Australian films that began in the late 1970s, a list that includes Paul Hogan, Mel Gibson, Geoffrey Rush, Russell Crowe, Jane Campion, Peter Weir and Gillian Armstrong. His range was remarkable, playing opposite Helena Bonham Carter in the Alan Ayckbourn comedy “Sweet Revenge” to chopping off Hunter’s finger in “The Piano” to poking his own eyes out in the sci-fi horror “Event Horizon.”

In “Omen III: The Final Conflict,” he played Damien the Antichrist and he also played Cardinal Thomas Wolsey in “The Tudors.”

The actor first came to the attention of international audiences in Armstrong’s 1979 film “My Brilliant Career,” which also introduced Judy Davis. He later appeared in Phillip Noyce’s “Dead Calm,” a classy thriller set at sea and co-starring the then-relatively unknown Nicole Kidman.

Neill twice co-starred with Meryl Streep, in Australian director Fred Schepisi’s “Plenty” and — again for Schepisi — in “A Cry in the Dark,” a film about the sensationalized aftermath of a dingo killing a baby in the Australian Outback. He earned an Emmy nomination for his performance in the title role of the 1998 miniseries “Merlin” and another as narrator of 2017’s “Wild New Zealand.”

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Like ‘rotten flesh’? Thousands rush to whiff double corpse flower at Huntington

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Like ‘rotten flesh’? Thousands rush to whiff double corpse flower at Huntington

The Huntington’s long-awaited stink has arrived. Two corpse flowers nicknamed Odora and Odorysseus have bloomed at the San Marino conservatory, drawing thousands for the rare occasion and quickly surpassing last year’s numbers.

Corpse flowers have been a staple of the Huntington since 1999, when the garden exhibited its first corpse flower. Native to Sumatra, Indonesia, these plants are endangered in the wild and only bloom for 24 to 48 hours every few years. Once bloomed, they reek of rotting flesh.

As the day goes on, these smelly specimens will close back up and collapse, losing their infamously rotten odor.

The double bloom this summer was “definitely a surprise,” said Brandon Tam, the Huntington’s associate curator of orchids. The last time multiple corpse flowers bloomed on the same day at the Huntington was in 2018.

“We knew that Odorysseus was going to bloom probably Sunday,” Tam said. “But what surprised us was that we saw that Odora was opening just a few hours after.”

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As an “inflorescence” — a plant structure containing hundreds of male and female flowers at the base — the plant usually staggers its bloom to avoid self-pollination.

A developmental irregularity caused Odora’s spadix to cave in, but the plant remains healthy, said Brandon Tam, the associate curator of orchids at the Huntington.

(Kayla Bartkowski / Los Angeles Times)

Jaime Holmes from San Gabriel holds her nose in front of the blooming corpse flowers.

Jaime Holmes from San Gabriel holds her nose in front of the blooming corpse flowers.

(Kayla Bartkowski / Los Angeles Times)

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But sometimes, “these plants have a mind of their own,” Tam said.

Climate factors can influence when they bloom. Tam said Southern California’s recent high humidity may have signaled a prime environment for the plants to unfurl.

Visitors may have noticed that Odorysseus’ spadix — the conic protrusion emerging upward from the plant — was much taller than Odora’s, which had caved in. Tam said Odora’s spadix was a developmental irregularity, but emphasized the plant remains healthy.

“It just looks a little different — completely normal,” Tam said. “When it reblooms for us in three to four years, it’ll look just perfectly fine.”

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At the time of the bloom, Odorysseus measured 71 inches in height, and Odora measured 41.

As of 8:51 a.m., the Huntington recorded over 5,700 reservations, said Keisha Raines, the Huntington’s assistant director of news and media relations. That number easily surpassed last year’s bloom, which drew about 4,900 visitors. It also excludes walk-ins and any more reservations made throughout the day.

Parking lots quickly filled inside the Huntington, forcing some visitors to park on the streets outside.

Raines thinks the rare double bloom influenced the spike in reservations. She also believes general awareness of the corpse flower increases each summer.

“It’s kind of lore,” Raines said. “It’s just continuing to build, and more people want to see it.”

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Inside the conservatory, eager sniffers took selfies and marveled at the plants’ size and smell. Outside, the line ran all throughout the walkways, extending past the exit.

Ventura resident Michelle Shock and her 8-year-old daughter, Fable, initially came to the Huntington for a tea party at the Rose Garden, and dressed for the part in light-colored, semi-formal dresses. They scheduled the party two weeks ago and got lucky when they heard the corpse flowers were in bloom on the same day.

“I’ve always wanted to see one,” Shock said while waiting in line. “I think the last time I knew of one blooming was when I was pregnant with her. We were up in the Bay, and I missed it. So here we are now, together, which is better.”

Gastonia Goodman, 72, peers through the window at the blooming corpse flowers.

Gastonia Goodman, 72, peers through the window at the blooming corpse flowers.

(Kayla Bartkowski / Los Angeles Times)

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Fable predicted the plants would smell like “rotten flesh from Minecraft.” Shock guessed they’d smell like forgotten meat in a broken freezer or animal remains on a farm.

For spouses Jennifer Kraus and Abigail Cruz, the plants smelled like rotten garbage.

“It was pretty ripe,” Kraus said. “Totally enjoyed it though.”

The couple drove two hours from the Inland Empire to catch the bloom, which had been on Cruz’s bucket list.

“The minute that we saw it on Facebook, [Kraus] started following it and making sure that we’re here when it had bloomed,” Cruz said.

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They were among the first to arrive, so the wait was short. “We were here at o-dark-30 this morning, ready to go,” Kraus said.

North Hollywood resident Lilla Saito took two hours off work to witness the corpse flowers for the first time and tracked the livestream every day, “just waiting for it to bloom.” Saito stood in line for about 45 minutes to catch a whiff, which Saito said “smelled like a trash room.”

It was Paige Patino’s first bloom too. Patino lives 10 minutes away from the Huntington and wore a T-shirt with flowers on it for the occasion. It was “really cool” to “see both of them active,” Patino said.

For Tam, this year’s stench ranks in the top three. He thinks each individual plant stinks more than previous blooms, but on top of that, he said: “The fact that we have two in bloom makes it stinkier.”

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States sue to stop Paramount-Warner Bros blockbuster merger

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States sue to stop Paramount-Warner Bros blockbuster merger

California Attorney General Rob Bonta is one of several attorneys general seeking to stop the merger of Paramount and Warner Bros. Discovery.

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A dozen states, led by California, are suing to block Paramount from buying Warner Bros. Discovery in a Hollywood mega-merger that would unite some of the nation’s largest movie studios, television newsrooms, and other entertainment properties.

“The unlawful merger of these two entertainment behemoths would lead to higher prices, lower quality, and less content for film and television, harming movie theaters, basic cable distributors, and ultimately, audiences on every sofa and movie theater seat in the U.S.,” California Attorney General Rob Bonta said in a statement announcing the suit, which was filed in federal court in California’s Northern District.

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The deal would give a wealthy family that has taken pains to show its allegiance to President Trump the effective ownership of the companies’ competing movie studios, streamers (Paramount+ and HBO Max), sports programming (CBS Sports and Turner Sports) and news divisions (CBS News and CNN) as well as a suite of cable channels, such as Comedy Central, VH1, MTV, TNT, TBS, HGTV and Discovery, among others.

The president has repeatedly praised Larry and David Ellison, the digital titan and his son who are the controlling owners of Paramount. And he has publicly urged the sale of Warner’s CNN to new owners.

“We’re trying to have CNN go in a normal path,” Trump told CNN anchor Jake Tapper yesterday at the end of an interview about the late Sen. Lindsey Graham.

In his statement Monday, Bonta said, “With this lawsuit, California and our sister states are fighting for free and fair markets, not rigged markets. America has no kings in government or our economy.”

Paramount is inviting in sovereign wealth funds from Saudi Arabia, Qatar and the United Arab Emirates as major investors who will forego voting rights. The financing proposal also envisions that the company will take on $80 billion in new debt. That will assuredly trigger major cuts throughout the combined company. Warner dramatically reduced its own debt after slashing budgets, but is still tens of billions of dollars in the red, which helped set the stage for Paramount’s unsolicited bid.

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Bonta sees “red flags”

In late June, Bonta told MS NOW’s Jacob Sobroff that the deal presented “red flags in the air everywhere.” The acquisition is valued at approximately $111 billion, including debt and major (though nonvoting) investment stakes from Saudi and other sovereign wealth funds. Bonta has armed his office for potentially costly legal battles by hiring a new batch of lawyers, including some who left the U.S. Justice Department after Trump took office a second time. He also secured new funds from the state legislature specifically for antitrust enforcement.

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