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L.A. Affairs: I asked my late husband for a sign. Then a man flagged me down on the 101

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L.A. Affairs: I asked my late husband for a sign. Then a man flagged me down on the 101

On July 1, 2020, my life changed forever.

What should have been a regular Wednesday, hunkering down with my family just four months into the COVID-19 pandemic, was the day my husband died. He had two sudden massive heart attacks, and after trying to save him for 45 minutes, the paramedics had to let him go.

Life quickly became a blur of depression, sadness, disbelief and anger. I lost my 56-year-old husband. We had been married for 15 years, and he was my life partner.

I was overwhelmed. How was I going to take care of my two teenage daughters by myself? How would I ever recover from this?

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The answers were just as surprising — and unpredictable — as my husband’s death.

It was another regular day some 14 months later, and I had to drive the kids to school. We were late. The kids were mouthing off at each other in the back seat, and I began yelling at my older daughter. She started crying, which made me cry, and I didn’t dare look at my younger daughter to see if she was crying. I dropped them off at school, feeling defeated.

On my way home, I stopped by the cemetery to visit my husband’s grave. I wanted to yell at him for leaving me with all this to do on my own. I wanted to cry with him and let him take in my tears of loneliness and grief. Over and over I said, “I just want to be with you.” I was not suicidal, but I felt that somehow, through some magical turn of events, it would be possible to be with him.

I asked for a sign. It was something I‘d never done before — I’m not prone to superstition — but I’d heard other widows talk about it. “Tony, please send me a sign that I should be with you. Or send me a sign that I should not be with you,” I said, before driving home and spending the day working.

About 5 p.m., I left the house to pick up my kids from school — right back on the 101 Freeway south through Hollywood, driving a mind-numbing 8 mph. I had been crying and upset, thinking that by the time I arrived at school, I would try to pull it together for the sake of the kids.

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At the Sunset Boulevard exit, I absently looked at the car to my left. The driver was smiling at me. I smiled back and kept driving. A few moments later, when I looked in my rear-view mirror, I realized that the man in the car was trying to catch up, weaving through traffic to get next to me. He was in a black muscle car — a Dodge Charger.

My heart started racing. Was he crazy? Would he pull a gun on me? As I watched him in my mirrors, I had a feeling that this guy wasn’t going to hurt me. Just before my exit at Silver Lake, he pulled up alongside me and rolled down his passenger-side window.

“You are so cute. Are you married?” he asked. I hadn’t heard that question in years. I was caught off guard but somehow managed to squeak out “No.” He asked if he could give me his number. I took it, messaged him a quick “hi” and then exited the freeway.

David instantly started texting me, and just like that, we were having a conversation.

At 47 and a native Angeleno, I had never been picked up on the freeway before. Over the coming days and weeks, I told this story to my friends, and they too said they had never been picked up on the freeway. How bizarre. After all, Angelenos spend years of our lives slogging through traffic on the 101, the 405, the 110 and the 5, and this never happens, right?

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I was pulling into the parking lot of the girls’ school when it hit me. That was the sign from Tony. It jump-started my pulse. It made me optimistic about the future. A realization exploded in me like a bomb: Tony didn’t want me to be with him. He wanted me to stay here and live my life to the fullest.

David and I texted each other incessantly for days. He was 17 years younger than I was, and we lived very different lives. At one point, he told me that he was a physical therapist and that he gave the best massages. Wait. We were flirting over text? I had never done this before, not even with Tony.

David and I met for coffee a few days later. There were no uncomfortable pauses. The only discomfort I felt was that I was at Starbucks on a date with someone other than Tony. The whole date was an out-of-body experience, like I was watching us chat from above. When David told me that he had the same last name as Tony, my married name, that was it. I was positive Tony had sent this guy to me. At the end of the date, David and I kissed. My body became electrified, as if I were waking up from a long slumber.

Over the next few months, David and I had fun. He just might have saved my life. I helped him through difficult times as well. Though it didn’t work out romantically, we are still friends.

My other friends suggested I get on the apps and start dating — strike while the iron was hot. I had to learn how to swipe right. For a while, it was the typical story of flakes, ghosting, horrible dates and bad sex. But I kept at it, bolstered by the idea that Tony was guiding me.

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Now I am in a long-term relationship with a man whom I love. We’ve been together for almost two years. I still miss my husband every day and continue to love him and cherish him. Now I understand that Tony would never want me to suffer. I am also capable of holding all kinds of love at the same time.

Tony sent me a sign: Life is inexplicable. You never know who is waiting for you at the next stoplight.

The author took up writing as a hobby after her husband died. She lives in Hollywood with one daughter (her other daughter is away at college) and her fox terrier. She’s on Instagram: @stacykass

L.A. Affairs chronicles the search for romantic love in all its glorious expressions in the L.A. area, and we want to hear your true story. We pay $400 for a published essay. Email LAAffairs@latimes.com. You can find submission guidelines here. You can find past columns here.

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What worked — and what didn’t — in the ‘Stranger Things’ finale

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What worked — and what didn’t — in the ‘Stranger Things’ finale

Sadie Sink as Max Mayfield.

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Yes, there are spoilers ahead for the final episode of Stranger Things

On New Year’s Eve, the very popular Netflix show Stranger Things came to an end after five seasons and almost 10 years. With actors who started as tweens now in their 20s, it was probably inevitable that the tale of a bunch of kids who fought monsters would wind down. In the two-plus-hour finale, there was a lot of preparation, then there was a final battle, and then there was a roughly 40-minute epilogue catching up with our heroes 18 months later. And how well did it all work? Let’s talk about it.

Worked: The final battle

The strongest part of the finale was the battle itself, set in the Abyss, in which the crew battled Vecna, who was inside the Mind Flayer, which is, roughly speaking, a giant spider. This meant that inside, Eleven could go one-on-one with Vecna (also known as Henry, or One, or Mr. Whatsit) while outside, her friends used their flamethrowers and guns and flares and slingshots and whatnot to take down the Mind Flayer. (You could tell that Nancy was going to be the badass of the fight as soon as you saw not only her big gun, but also her hair, which strongly evoked Ripley in the Alien movies.) And of course, Joyce took off Vecna’s head with an axe while everybody remembered all the people Vecna has killed who they cared about. Pretty good fight!

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Did not work: Too much talking before the fight

As the group prepared to fight Vecna, we watched one scene where the music swelled as Hopper poured out his feelings to Eleven about how she deserved to live and shouldn’t sacrifice herself. Roughly 15 minutes later, the music swelled for a very similarly blocked and shot scene in which Eleven poured out her feelings to Hopper about why she wanted to sacrifice herself. Generally, two monologues are less interesting than a conversation would be. Elsewhere, Jonathan and Steve had a talk that didn’t add much, and Will and Mike had a talk that didn’t add much (after Will’s coming-out scene in the previous episode), both while preparing to fight a giant monster. It’s not that there’s a right or wrong length for a finale like this, but telling us things we already know tends to slow down the action for no reason. Not every dynamic needed a button on it.

Worked: Dungeons & Dragons bringing the group together

It was perhaps inevitable that we would end with a game of D&D, just as we began. But now, these kids are feeling the distance between who they are now and who they were when they used to play together. The fact that they still enjoy each other’s company so much, even when there are no world-shattering stakes, is what makes them seem the most at peace, more than a celebratory graduation. And passing the game off to Holly and her friends, including the now-included Derek, was a very nice touch.

Charlie Heaton as Jonathan Byers, Natalia Dyer as Nancy Wheeler, Maya Hawke as Robin Buckley, and Joe Keery as Steve Harrington holding up drinks to toast.

Charlie Heaton as Jonathan Byers, Natalia Dyer as Nancy Wheeler, Maya Hawke as Robin Buckley, and Joe Keery as Steve Harrington.

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Did not work: Dr. Kay, played by Linda Hamilton

It seemed very exciting that Stranger Things was going to have Linda Hamilton, actual ’80s action icon, on hand this season playing Dr. Kay, the evil military scientist who wanted to capture and kill Eleven at any cost. But she got very little to do, and the resolution to her story was baffling. After the final battle, after the Upside Down is destroyed, she believes Eleven to be dead. But … then what happened? She let them all call taxis home, including Hopper, who killed a whole bunch of soldiers? Including all the kids who now know all about her and everything she did? All the kids who ventured into the Abyss are going to be left alone? Perfect logic is certainly not anybody’s expectation, but when you end a sequence with your entire group of heroes at the mercy of a band of violent goons, it would be nice to say something about how they ended up not at the mercy of said goons.

Worked: Needle drops

Listen, it’s not easy to get one Prince song for your show, let alone two: “Purple Rain” and “When Doves Cry.” When the Duffer Brothers say they needed something epic, and these songs feel epic, they are not wrong. There continues to be a heft to the Purple Rain album that helps to lend some heft to a story like this, particularly given the period setting. “Landslide” was a little cheesy as the lead-in to the epilogue, but … the epilogue was honestly pretty cheesy, so perhaps that’s appropriate.

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Did not work: The non-ending

As to whether Eleven really died or is really just backpacking in a foreign country where no one can find her, the Duffer Brothers, who created the show, have been very clear that the ending is left up to you. You can think she’s dead, or you can think she’s alive; they have intentionally not given the answer. It’s possible to write ambiguous endings that work really well, but this one felt like a cop-out, an attempt to have it both ways. There’s also a real danger in expanding characters’ supernatural powers to the point where they can make anything seem like anything, so maybe much of what you saw never happened. After all, if you don’t know that did happen, how much else might not have happened?

This piece also appears in NPR’s Pop Culture Happy Hour newsletter. Sign up for the newsletter so you don’t miss the next one, plus get weekly recommendations about what’s making us happy.

Listen to Pop Culture Happy Hour on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

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The Best of BoF 2025: Conglomerates, Controversy and Consolidation

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The Best of BoF 2025: Conglomerates, Controversy and Consolidation
The beauty industry’s M&A machine roared back into action in 2025, with no shortage of blockbuster sales and surprise consolidation. It was also a year with no shortage of flashpoint moments or controversial characters, reflecting the wider fractious social media and political climate.
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Sunday Puzzle: P-A-R-T-Y words and names

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Sunday Puzzle: P-A-R-T-Y words and names

On-air challenge

Today I’ve brought a game of ‘Categories’ based on the word “party.” For each category I give, you tell me something in it starting with each of the letters, P-A-R-T-Y.  For example, if the category were “Four-Letter Boys’ Names” you might say Paul, Adam, Ross, Tony, and Yuri. Any answer that works is OK, and you can give answers in any order.

1. Colors

2. Major League Baseball Teams

3. Foreign Rivers

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4. Foods for a Thanksgiving Meal

Last week’s challenge

I was at a library. On the shelf was a volume whose spine said “OUT TO SEA.” When I opened the volume, I found the contents has nothing to do with sailing or the sea in any sense. It wasn’t a book of fiction either. What was in the volume?

Challenge answer

It was a volume of an encyclopedia with entries from OUT- to SEA-.

Winner

Mark Karp of Marlboro Township, N.J.

This week’s challenge

This week’s challenge comes from Joseph Young, of St. Cloud, Minn. Think of a two-syllable word in four letters. Add two letters in front and one letter behind to make a one-syllable word in seven letters. What words are these?

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If you know the answer to the challenge, submit it below by Wednesday, December 31 at 3 p.m. ET. Listeners whose answers are selected win a chance to play the on-air puzzle.

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