Lifestyle
L.A. Affairs: How did our date begin? He removed his saliva-drenched teeth aligners
![L.A. Affairs: How did our date begin? He removed his saliva-drenched teeth aligners L.A. Affairs: How did our date begin? He removed his saliva-drenched teeth aligners](https://ca-times.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/0feb242/2147483647/strip/true/crop/1920x1008+0+36/resize/1200x630!/quality/75/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcalifornia-times-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2Ffd%2F8a%2Ff5600c5144a6822e142e96a93e7f%2Fanimated-illustration-la-times-comrayo-0000000.jpg)
His Bumble bio and photos were appealing. He traveled frequently and loved to dance. Over the phone, he came across as dorky to me. But when he suggested that we go salsa dancing for our first date, I decided dorky was doable. I love dancing too. There was a lesson at 9 p.m. followed by live music from a band.
Despite my challenges with dating in L.A., I responded enthusiastically: “Sounds nice! I’m looking forward to it.”
“Great,” he said. “Let’s meet at 8:30. We can have a drink and then you can join the lesson.”
He emphasized the word “you.” With a playfulness in my voice, I countered: “Well, we will both do the lesson.”
The nerd suddenly morphed into a snob. “I’m an expert salsa dancer. I don’t need the lesson.”
I remained bubbly. “But this is a date. We will do the lesson together since it’s fun. Plus, there are never enough men. You’ll have to join.”
His attitude surfaced again. “As I said, I’m an expert salsa dancer. I don’t need the lesson. That’s for you as a novice.”
Firmly I said, “You are doing the lesson with me. See you Friday.”
I had been hesitant and fearful when I jumped into the online dating world a year-and-a-half after my longtime partner’s suicide. I had wanted to take it slowly. I wasn’t at all ready to find Mr. Right and was intimidated by the prospect of even finding Mr. Right Now. I was also full of dating questions, like “How do I talk about my most recent relationship?” or “Is it better to meet for coffee or dinner?”
In putting myself out there since my boyfriend’s death, I’ve found mind-boggling material that I’ve shared with my friends who are eager to support my dating adventures. Sometimes they’ve even picked up dating insights based on my bizarre encounters, which have turned out to be plentiful.
After all, there was the guy who asked on our first outing if I was “taken care of down there,” waving his hands toward my nether region. There was the bed-breaker. There was the guy who barked orders at hotel staff. (He insisted we eat in a conference room that was reserved for a corporate luncheon.)
My hope was that things might go better with Mr. Salsa.
At 8:30 p.m. on date night, I walked into the Warehouse Restaurant bar in Marina del Rey. It was empty except for my date.
When his beer arrived, he opened his mouth widely to brutishly remove his aligners. I watched as he stuck both fists in his face to remove the saliva-drenched hardware, which he then placed in a little blue box.
He wiped his hands on his jeans, smiled broadly and pointed to his teeth. “I wear Invisalign on the top and bottom.”
An entire conversation about aligners ensued as another dialogue was happening in my head. I thought to myself, Seriously, Mr. Salsa? Did you really just remove your hardware within five minutes of meeting me? Why are you taking them out at the bar? Why not in the car before you got here? Why do you have to take them out at all? You’re just drinking a beer! Why are we engaging in a long conversation about how to lessen the cost by getting three sets made at once?
I wanted to go home but would feel bad about bailing. I am always too nice.
The salsa lesson was about to start, and sure enough, my date refused to join. I happily participated and was relieved I didn’t have to interact with him. Eventually the teacher dragged him onto the dance floor. As I had predicted, the women-to-men ratio was not close to being even.
After the lesson, I danced with Mr. Salsa. I’ll admit it: He was a good partner and a fantastic lead. But he was impossible to tolerate. He uttered, “You aren’t too terrible. I can probably work with this.”
He led me back to the bar. Just as I was about to thank him and wish him a nice rest of the evening, he looked me up and down, pointed toward the dance floor and bluntly said: “I’m going back out there. But you’re pretty. I’m sure someone will ask you to dance.”
I watched in bewilderment as he walked onto the floor to introduce himself to a beautiful brunette in a red dress.
That was my cue to head for the door. As I turned to go, a new dance partner grabbed my elbow. His shirt was unbuttoned to his belly button. Gold chains adorned his chest. In my heels at 5-foot-3, I towered over him.
After our quick dance, I bumped into the original Mr. Salsa. Ever so politely, I tried the gentle letdown. “This was fun, but I better head home.”
He said, “Amazing night. I’ll give you a ride.”
This time I was more forceful. “Oh. No. Really, you stay. Enjoy yourself. But thank you.”
He texted the next morning about a second date, but I held firm. There would be no second date.
Mr. Salsa was added to my list of bad dates.
As for me, I had assumed my baggage would be too heavy to bring on dates after all the turmoil with my boyfriend, his mental illness and eventual suicide and my subsequent grief, trauma and devastation. For so long, there have been questions surrounding my boyfriend’s death. I will never have all the answers, and I’m OK with that. But in terms of the dating scene, I’ve realized that despite everything I’ve been through, I’m in a far better state than most of the potential suitors I keep meeting in L.A.
Because on the other side of my years-long, to-hell-and-back healing process, which is best described as daunting, challenging and uncomfortable, has been recovery and growth. I also have continued to trust that despite my often disastrous and discouraging dating stories, an excellent partner awaits.
In the words of Mr. Salsa, I’m going back out there.
The author is an L.A. native and nonprofit executive. She is working to publish her memoir about life and lessons after suicide, including tales from the L.A. dating scene. She’s on Instagram: @nicole_lise
L.A. Affairs chronicles the search for romantic love in all its glorious expressions in the L.A. area, and we want to hear your true story. We pay $400 for a published essay. Email LAAffairs@latimes.com. You can find submission guidelines here. You can find past columns here.
![](https://newspub.live/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/np-logo.png)
Lifestyle
9 smart ways to slash your grocery bill
![9 smart ways to slash your grocery bill 9 smart ways to slash your grocery bill](https://npr.brightspotcdn.com/dims3/default/strip/false/crop/1100x619+0+57/resize/1400/quality/100/format/jpeg/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fnpr-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F95%2Fe5%2F955a301b400985b3c4bec9620e11%2Fcheapgroceries-01-slide-692c8c9ed2763d5da7d6b3aec7c6ee9f10edac16.jpg)
Photographs Unsplash; Collage by Kaz Fantone/NPR
How do you save money on groceries?
Over the last year, grocery prices have increased by 1.1%. But that’s on top of a 3.6% increase in the previous year and a whopping 13.1% the year before that, according to reporting from NPR’s Scott Horsley.
Mayonnaise prices, for example, have surged 43% over the past three years, according to global research firm NIQ, also known as NielsenIQ.
“What consumers are reacting [to] and feeling is the cumulative effect of inflation,” said food economist David Ortega at Michigan State University.
Life Kit spoke to Beth Moncel, founder of the cooking blog Budget Bytes, for tips on how to spend less money at the supermarket.
1. Look up coupons and sale flyers
Download the free application Flipp, which aggregates sale flyers from the stores in your area. “That can inform your decision of where to shop” — and which recipes to cook for the week, says Moncel.
2. Do online research
Compare the prices of different brands before you go shopping, Moncel suggests. “Just type each ingredient into the search bar on your grocery store’s website,” she says. “It will show you what they have available at that store, and you can price compare” at home instead of the overstimulating environment of the grocery store.
![Boxes of cereal are displayed on a shelf at a Target store in July 2022 in San Rafael, Calif. Manufacturers are using](https://npr.brightspotcdn.com/dims3/default/strip/false/crop/3024x3024+504+0/resize/100/quality/100/format/jpeg/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fnpr-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2Ff1%2F84%2F0ab569c640dc959a7dfe3d3a11d5%2Fgettyimages-1407189508.jpg)
3. Don’t assume bulk deals are better
Is it always cheaper to buy in bulk? “Not all the time,” says Moncel. “Sometimes different packaging on the same grocery store shelf will have drastically different prices.”
A tip from our friends at Planet Money, who did an episode on shrinkflation: pay attention to unit prices. For example, if you are trying to decide whether to buy that “family size” box of Cocoa Puffs, the “giant size” box or just a regular box, look at the price per ounce. If the regular box has a lower price per ounce than the bulk pack, it’s a better deal.
4. Swap out pricey ingredients
Meats and cheeses will often cost more than vegetables or grains, says Moncel. But cutting back doesn’t mean going without. For instance, if a chili recipe calls for a pound of ground beef, she says you could reduce the beef by half and then bulk up the recipe with less expensive ingredients like beans, lentils, or rice. That way, you’ll still get the flavor of the beef without the cost.
5. Load up on inexpensive and filling produce
Moncel adds bulk to her meal with cheaper produce. That includes potatoes, onions, carrots and broccoli, she says. She loves cooking with cabbage because “there are a lot of different ways you can prepare it. It’s versatile and it goes with many flavors.”
6. Stick to your grocery list
“Know what you’re going to cook, then write down the ingredients for those recipes,” says Moncel. A grocery list can help you avoid buying nonessential items and keep you focused at the store.
![This illustration shows a man standing on a teal floor and surrounded by fragments of U.S. dollar bills scattered all around him on the ground.](https://npr.brightspotcdn.com/dims3/default/strip/false/crop/2531x2531+977+0/resize/100/quality/100/format/jpeg/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fnpr-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fa3%2F5c%2Ff1d173bc43f8bb672c6ce5f0914c%2Fgettyimages-2149290239-1-wide-211d884c4d4c2ec03fe662831fd04e7eb2bcd7fe.jpg)
7. Double-check your pantry
A lot of people buy ingredients they already have at home, adding to the grocery bill. So before you head to the supermarket, “take your shopping list into the kitchen and double-check whether you have those items. You might not realize you already have some of those things on hand,” says Moncel.
8. Use up all the groceries you buy
For leftovers, rely on the freezer, says Moncel. “A lot more foods are freezable than people realize. I often freeze leftover cheese. Leftover bread products also freeze well.”
If you can’t freeze what you have left over, look up additional recipes with those ingredients as keywords. For example, search for “recipes with celery” online if you have leftover celery.
9. Think outside the big-box grocery store
You may be able to find lower prices, says Moncel. Organic eggs, for example, are sometimes cheaper at farmer’s markets. And meats and produce are often cheaper at smaller international stores.
So shop around. “Once you get to know the stock and the average prices at each of these stores, decide which one is the best to shop at this week,” she says. “Or maybe get the bulk of your ingredients at one store then stop at another on the way home for the last couple of items.” It may be more time consuming, but it can save you money.
We want to hear from you: How do you save money on groceries?
Email lifekit@npr.org with the subject line “grocery tip” with your advice and your full name, and we may feature your response on NPR.
The audio portion of this episode was hosted by Marielle Segarra, produced by Sylvie Douglis and edited by Meghan Keane. The digital story was written by Malaka Gharib and edited by Clare Marie Schneider. The visual editor is Beck Harlan.
We’d love to hear from you. email us at LifeKit@npr.org. Listen to Life Kit on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, or sign up for our newsletter.
Lifestyle
Quietly transcendent 'Close Your Eyes' may be among the best films you see all year
![Quietly transcendent 'Close Your Eyes' may be among the best films you see all year Quietly transcendent 'Close Your Eyes' may be among the best films you see all year](https://npr.brightspotcdn.com/dims3/default/strip/false/crop/1084x610+0+72/resize/1400/quality/100/format/png/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fnpr-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fc4%2F06%2F5befc6cf4f48a9f3a9ece04f00b8%2Fcloseyoureyes.png)
José Coronado plays film star Julio Arenas in Close Your Eyes.
Film Movement
hide caption
toggle caption
Film Movement
The Spanish director Víctor Erice is one of our most revered, yet least prolific, European filmmakers. Over the past 50 years or so, he’s directed just four features, starting with his masterful debut, The Spirit of the Beehive.
That movie was a haunting family drama set in 1940, during the early days of the Franco dictatorship. It was also a passionate ode to cinema from a filmmaker who’s always loved the movies, even when the movies haven’t loved him back.
Erice had a rough time with his 1983 film El Sur, a beautiful yet truncated work that was released in its unfinished form. In the years since, Erice has directed a number of projects, including the 1992 documentary The Quince Tree Sun and several shorts.
![Clockwise from top left: Inside Out 2, Thelma, Twisters, Hit Man, Fancy Dance and Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F.](https://npr.brightspotcdn.com/dims3/default/strip/false/crop/663x662+1681+688/resize/100/quality/100/format/jpeg/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fnpr-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2Feb%2Fd5%2F9c7769a34e72a85a70e98fa6bb96%2F6-images-2.jpg)
But he has struggled to get another fiction feature off the ground — until now. The arrival of Erice’s new movie, Close Your Eyes, would be welcome news even if it weren’t one of the best things I’ve seen this year. Manolo Solo plays a long-retired director named Miguel, who quit the biz in 1990, after one of his films shut down production. The circumstances were mysterious: His star, a handsome actor named Julio Arenas, vanished without explanation and was presumed dead. Now, it’s 2012, and a Madrid-based TV journalist is investigating Julio’s disappearance.
After he’s interviewed, Miguel stays in Madrid and makes inquiries of his own. While Close Your Eyes unfolds at a leisurely pace over nearly three hours, it has the pull of a well-crafted detective story. Miguel reaches out to old friends and colleagues, like his longtime editor, Max, a hardcore cinephile who still has the never-screened footage from that halted production.
Miguel also gets back in touch with Julio’s daughter, who knew little about her father even before he went missing. She’s played, exquisitely, by Ana Torrent, who was just a young girl when she starred in The Spirit of the Beehive decades ago. It’s a glorious full-circle moment.
Miguel’s investigation doesn’t yield any immediate answers, and he returns, wistfully, to his home on the Spanish coast. It’s here that the action briefly pauses and settles into a simply magical interlude. One night, while hanging out under the stars, Miguel picks up a guitar and performs a duet with his friend Toni. You’ll recognize the song if you’ve seen Howard Hawks’ 1959 western, Rio Bravo, which is one of my own favorite movies.
Maybe it’s one of Erice’s, too. Like Rio Bravo, Close Your Eyes turns out to be a story about community, about friendships forged under unlikely circumstances. Miguel’s mission to solve the mystery of Julio’s disappearance becomes a group effort, as old and new friends come together to help him.
You don’t have to know Erice’s work to get swept up in Close Your Eyes. But those who do know his work will find the new film an almost unbearably moving experience. Erice is, in many ways, telling his own story: Miguel could be his stand-in, just as Miguel’s unfinished film feels like a meta-commentary on some of Erice’s own abandoned projects. Miguel and his old editor, Max, reminisce about earlier, better times for the film industry and grouse about the changes wrought by digital technology.
But despite his characters’ pessimism, Erice continues to show a hard-won faith in the movies. He knows that they can move us in ways that no other art form can. At one point, Erice ushers all his characters into a dilapidated old movie theatre, which is where Close Your Eyes becomes not just an engaging film, but a quietly transcendent one. I don’t want to say too much about what happens, but it’s worth discovering for yourself, in a movie theatre of your own.
Lifestyle
Famous 'League Of Their Own' Baseball Field Burns Down
![Famous 'League Of Their Own' Baseball Field Burns Down Famous 'League Of Their Own' Baseball Field Burns Down](https://imagez.tmz.com/image/fe/16by9/2024/08/23/fead6dd617a2405fa0a04a3ca4e56047_xl.jpg)
One of the most famous baseball fields in Hollywood history was burned to a crisp on Thursday … as the diamond used in “A League of Their Own” was engulfed in flames.
According to local reports, the fire at Jay Littleton Ball Park in Ontario, CA started roughly 30 minutes before midnight … and it grew so strong, nothing could be done to preserve the landmark.
Local authorities say the flames came from the dugout and stadium … although it’s unclear what started it all.
They added despite the fact the facility had been renovated several times, there was a lot of old wood in the structure that was built in the 1930s … which might have contributed to the magnitude of the fire.
The field was used in several flicks … most notably the 1992 project starring Tom Hanks and Madonna.
Jay Littleton Ball Park was deemed a historic landmark in 2003 … and was a beloved destination for locals all over.
The blaze is currently under investigation.
There’s no crying in baseball … but this might be an exception.
-
Ohio1 week ago
Ohio taxpayers sent families $966 million for private school tuition: Capitol Letter
-
World1 week ago
Russia-Ukraine war: List of key events, day 901
-
Minnesota6 days ago
Readers and writers: Plenty of thrills and danger in these Minnesota author’s mysteries
-
Movie Reviews1 week ago
‘Veeranjaneyulu Viharayatra’ movie review: A journey steeped in bitter-sweet memories
-
Politics1 week ago
Police ally of scandal-ridden Mayor Tiffany Henyard indicted on bankruptcy fraud charges
-
Politics1 week ago
Harris dodging flip-flop attacks as faceless surrogates flip on key positions: 'Playing politics'
-
News1 week ago
Tracking the Swing States for Harris and Trump
-
News1 week ago
Video: Biden and Harris Announce Deal to Lower Drug Prices