Lifestyle
L.A. Affairs: He brought paper bags on our date. ‘We may need these if we hyperventilate’
He handed me a brown paper bag — mind you, just a regular lunch-size kraft paper bag that was still flat and folded — and in all seriousness said, “Just in case you need it.”
Turning to look at him — an almost-stranger I was about to embark on a coffee date with — I asked, “Is this in case I get nauseated?”
“That too,” he grinned sheepishly. “But I was thinking something more like this …”
As his voice trailed off, I watched wide-eyed as he pulled out a paper bag, snapped it open, covered his mouth and forced it to open and closed with controlled breathing. “We’re both so nervous,” he explained matter-of-factly. “We may need these if we hyperventilate.”
Like a released champagne cork, laughter exploded and bubbled over, and the chemistry in the car changed from frigid temps to cozy and comfortable. We chatted like old friends as we hopped on the 57 freeway headed to the Orange Circle, where we talked over coffee at the Pie Hole, strolled with our hands stuffed in our pockets and planted the beginning seeds of friendship.
I had recently muddled through a marathon seven-year divorce that left me shattered and devastated, and my family, friends and children knew that I would never date again — and without a doubt, I’d never get married. I had only agreed to go to coffee because I knew of him through our 19-year-old boys. Their inseparable friendship during their junior high years had caused our paths to cross. We shared numerous drop-offs and pickups as I mustered through divorce paperwork and he navigated a grief-stricken home with the death of his wife.
But now, years later, as he walked me to the door, he asked, “Can I see you again?”
On our second date, he took me to “The Sound of Music” at La Mirada Theatre for the Performing Arts. Tears streamed down my face the whole night because of his cologne and my allergies. When we said goodbye at the door, I cautiously admitted, “I don’t think I can see you again. I’m terribly allergic to you.”
Surprised, he said, “I thought you were moved by the singing!” That night he texted me a photo of a hammer crushing his cologne bottle.
A few days later, we strolled by the Muckenthaler Cultural Center in Fullerton and heard live music floating through the park. Our curiosity got the best of us, and we rambled onto the grounds to find an intimate wedding reception taking place in the courtyard below. Suddenly, he grabbed my hand, and we were dancing under the moonlight while the trees twinkled with floating bulbs and antique street lamps lit up as if on cue. It was as if we were on the set of “La La Land” — something magical and unforgettable. This was the night he said he fell in love with me.
As partners in crime, we began planning surprise adventures for each other over the course of two years: an enchanted night walk through the botanical gardens of Palos Verdes; a day trip to San Francisco to eat at Red’s Java House and watch the Giants play ball; ice skating at the Hotel del Coronado in San Diego and a caroling trolley ride; “The Lion King” at the Pantages in Hollywood; dinner downtown at Perch prior to the closing performance of “Peter Pan Goes Wrong” with Neil Patrick Harris at the Ahmanson Theatre; a day at the Getty Villa in Pacific Palisades; and an enchanting dinner in a private cabana at the Firefly in Studio City.
So it was no surprise when he texted, “Are you available all day on Sept. 21?”
I wrote back, “It’s my day off. Absolutely!”
He arrived early and whisked me off to the Huntington Library, Art Museum, and Botanical Gardens in San Marino. We spent hours lingering in the Chinese gardens, eating in the glass tea house and gazing over the koi-filled pond. We strolled through rose gardens, exhibitions and the never-ending gift shop. By the time 3 p.m. came around, we collapsed satisfied and exhausted on a shaded park bench.
“We can call it a day if you like,” I said, yawning. “It’s already been amazing.”
According to my event coordinator, the day was just getting started. Our next stop was Culver City, where he gave me a music box that played “Edelweiss.” It was a clue to our next destination: the Hollywood Bowl for “Rodgers & Hammerstein’s The Sound of Music Sing-A-Long.” But first we had to eat at Lustig, an Austrian restaurant where we ordered schnitzel with noodles (otherwise known as spaetzle), sausages and a bowl of divine butternut squash soup recommended by our uber-friendly waiter.
At the Hollywood Bowl, we hissed at the Baroness, booed at the Nazis and shot off confetti poppers when Maria got her first kiss. When Captain von Trapp sang “Edelweiss” to his children, the whole amphitheater joined their voices together, flooding the Hollywood Hills with a surprisingly heartwarming sound of music.
I fell asleep contentedly on the drive home but awoke as we pulled into our favorite spot at the Muckenthaler.
“You want to take a walk?” he asked. Sleepily I followed him to a picnic bench glowing amber in the lantern light.
“I want to give you the same gift I gave you on our very first date ….”
Puzzled, I challenged him: “You didn’t give me a gift on our very first date.”
Slowly he handed me a brown paper bag — mind you, just a regular lunch-size kraft paper bag, still flat and folded. “Remember this?” he smiled nervously. “I’m guessing you’re going to need it right now.”
And he was right, because at that moment he dropped to one knee.
The author is a librarian for the Fullerton Public Library system. On her days off, she explores new places and embarks on all-day adventures with her partner in crime and newly acquired fiancé. In her spare time, she also enjoys reading, baking, writing, spending time with her family and her latest hobby — planning a wedding and honeymoon.
L.A. Affairs chronicles the search for romantic love in all its glorious expressions in the L.A. area, and we want to hear your true story. We pay $400 for a published essay. Email LAAffairs@latimes.com. You can find submission guidelines here. You can find past columns here.
new video loaded: Fashion Highlights From the 2026 Golden Globes
By Vanessa Friedman, Chevaz Clarke, Gabby Bulgarelli and Jon Hazell
January 12, 2026
My husband and I live in Pasadena. We moved from Los Feliz about 10 years ago. We have struggled to find LGBTQ+ events this far east. We can only hit up Boulevard so many times (although we love it). Any advice for finding LGBTQ+ events in Pasadena, Eagle Rock, Highland Park, Glendale or the SGV? I feel like there are bars out here that may host weekly events that I just don’t hear about. — Will Birnie
Looking for things to do in L.A.? Ask us your questions and our expert guides will share highly specific recommendations.
Here’s what we suggest:
Will, you are so right. While there are several queer bars around your former neighborhood (Hi Tops in Los Feliz, Akbar in Silver Lake, Club Bahia in Echo Park and Honey’s at Star Love in East Hollywood), they are few and far between in the eastern part of L.A. County. But your question sent me down a rabbit hole and I’m proud to report that I’ve found a handful of spots and regular events that you should check out in your area. (Shout out to my colleagues and everyone who responded to my request for help on Instagram.)
Highland Park is home to the Offbeat, which is one of my friend Jaycen Mitchell‘s favorite bars in the area. The beloved dive bar hosts karaoke nights, drag shows, live music performances, “RuPaul’s Drag Race” screenings and other themed nights throughout the week. “I’ve been able to see all of my favorite drag queens there in more intimate settings, and the DJs have had me and my friends dancing until we were the last ones there,” Mitchell tells me. Also in Highland Park is Blind Barber, a speakeasy that hosts Homo Happy Hour on Thursdays. Mitchell says the happy hour is always a good time and a chance to “show up as your authentic self, be in community and queen out with your girls.”
Then in Glendale, there’s Junior High, a nonprofit art gallery and inclusive gathering space that hosts a variety of events, including music shows, artist showcases, comedy nights, pottery workshops and more. A standout event is Fantasy Suite, a pole dance show that features queer dancers with varying body types. Cherry Jayne and Jax “Lil Sumthin” launched the queer strip club experience in 2022 after struggling to find work due to “fatphobia that plagues traditional strip club hiring,” they told me. The next event will take place Feb. 7 and will feature Valentine’s Day songs of love, lust and heartbreak.
At Footsies in Cypress Park, Latino queer artist and DJ Mino Sanchez and his boyfriend, Ivan Castaneda, who also DJs, have been hosting Gay Night for nearly four years. The event, which happens on the second Saturday of each month, features BIPOC queer DJs who spin house, disco, Spanish dance music, electronica, pop and international sounds. There’s also a drag performance at midnight. In El Monte, the San Gabriel Valley LGBTQ Center hosts Gayme Night on the third Thursday of every month. The all-ages event features karaoke along with video and board games.
And you already know and love Boulevard — it really is a gem (and it’s the only gay bar in Pasadena). Though it was at risk of closing during the pandemic, the 45-year-old bar survived and continues to host a drag trivia night on Tuesdays and a drag show on Friday nights hosted by Borgia Bloom Facade. Times food columnist Jenn Harris writes that the Boulevard bar has served as a “safe haven for the gay community in the area and an alternative to the West Hollywood bar scene.”
If you’re looking for a different type of community beyond bars and events, my colleague Jaclyn Cosgrove recommends Throop Unitarian Universalist Church in Pasadena. “My pastor, Rev. Tera Landers, likes to say she doesn’t like religion, but she loves church,” says Cosgrove, who also lives in Pasadena. “That’s in large part because of the community we have at [the church] including our choir, which has a large number of transgender and queer members. It is where I go to refill my cup every Sunday.”
I hope this list helps you and your husband find more spaces around your neighborhood to build community and have a great time.
Ariana Grande arrives at the 83rd Golden Globes on Sunday, Jan. 11, 2026, at the Beverly Hilton in Beverly Hills, Calif.
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
The brightest stars in TV and film kicked off the 83rd annual Golden Globes tonight in Beverly Hills, Calif. with Ariana Grande, Noah Wyle, Teyana Taylor and George Clooney are just some the names who walked the red carpet. This year’s ceremony was hosted by comedian Nikki Glaser.
Here’s a glimpse of what some of the attendees are wearing tonight.
Michael B. Jordan
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Ryan Coogler and Zinzi Evans
Frederic J. Brown/AFP/Getty Images
hide caption
toggle caption
Frederic J. Brown/AFP/Getty Images
Jean Smart
Jordan StraussInvision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan StraussInvision/AP
Teyana Taylor
Jordan Strauss/Invision/Invision
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/Invision
Jenna Ortega
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Owen Cooper
Jordan Strauss /Invision/Invision
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss /Invision/Invision
Sara Wells and Noah Wyle
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Claire Danes
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Stellan Skarsgård and Megan Everett-Skarsgard
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Amy Poehler
Jordan Strauss/ Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/ Invision/AP
EJAE
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Amanda Anka and Jason Bateman
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Paul Mescal
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Adam Brody and Leighton Meester
Jjordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jjordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Laufey
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Plemons
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Chris Olsen
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Lisa Ann Walter
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Macaulay Culkin and Brenda Song
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Jacob Elordi
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Ryan Destiny
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Jennifer Garner
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Rose Byrne
Jordan Strauss/Invision//AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision//AP
Kate Hudson
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Snoop Dogg
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Timothée Chalamet
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Miley Cyrus
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
George Clooney and Amal Clooney
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Leonardo DiCaprio
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Michel Martin
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Steve Inskeep
Richard Shotwell/Invision/AP/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Richard Shotwell/Invision/AP/AP
Leila Fadel
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
A Martinez
Richard Shotwell/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Richard Shotwell/Invision/AP
Ben Falcone and Melissa McCarthy
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Amanda Seyfried
Jordan Strauss/Invision/InvisionAP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/InvisionAP
William Stanford Davis
Jorden Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jorden Strauss/Invision/AP
Tessa Thompson
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Kathy Bates
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell
Jorden Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jorden Strauss/Invision/AP
Skylar Diggins
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Monica Padman
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Adam Scott and Naomi Scott
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Jayme Lawson
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Maya Rudolph and Paul Thomas Anderson
Gilbert Flores/Penske Media/Getty Images
hide caption
toggle caption
Gilbert Flores/Penske Media/Getty Images
Emma Stone
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Natasha Lyonne and Clea DuVall
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP/AP
Nischelle Turner
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP/AP
Brett Goldstein
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Parker Posey
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Vince Gilligan
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Chloé Zhao
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Mark Ruffalo and Sunrise Coigney
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Hannah Einbinder
Jordan Strauss/ Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/ Invision/AP
Sheryl Lee Ralph
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Keegan-Michael Key and Elle Key
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP/AP
Justin Sylvester
Richard Shotwell/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Richard Shotwell/Invision/AP
Judd Apatow and Lesley Mann
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Keltie Knight
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Sarah Snook
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Glen Powell
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Piper Curda
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Justine Lupe
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Helen Hoehne
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Natasha Rothwell
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Minnie Driver
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Orlando Bloom
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Hudson Williams
Richard Shotwell/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Richard Shotwell/Invision/AP
Connor Storrie
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Erin Doherty
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Wanda Sykes
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Nikki Glaser
Richard Shotwell/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Richard Shotwell/Invision/AP
Julia Roberts
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Emily Blunt
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Chris Perfetti
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Rhea Seehorn
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Dakota Fanning
Jordan Strauss/Invision/Invision
hide caption
toggle caption
Jordan Strauss/Invision/Invision
Queen Latifah
Richard Shotwell/Invision/AP
hide caption
toggle caption
Richard Shotwell/Invision/AP
Michael McKee will be extradited to Ohio to face charges for grisly murder of dentist, wife
Oklahoma Highway Patrol seeks $25M for trooper training
5 things to know about Oregon’s newest reciever Iverson Hooks from UAB
Video of children in staged hockey fight in Pennsylvania prompts vow of disciplinary action
Vincent “Vinnie” Medeiros – Newport This Week
Florida High School Football Rankings: Top 25 teams – Oct. 21
Cleary's 21 help Le Moyne down Central Connecticut State 69-64 in OT
How old is Bo Nix? What to know about Oregon quarterback ahead of 2024 NFL Draft
99th annual Pony Swim held in Virginia
Video: ‘It Didn’t Have to Happen This Way:’ U.Va. Faculty Call for Review of Police Response to Protests
Video: What Our Photographer Saw in Minneapolis
Conservative legal group targets CFPB rule mandating race, sex data in home loans
EU auditors warn eased EU budget rules could undermine oversight
More federal agents head to Minnesota. And, U.S. Figure Skating announces Olympic team
San Antonio ends its abortion travel fund after new state law, legal action
-
Detroit, MI1 week ago2 hospitalized after shooting on Lodge Freeway in Detroit
-
Technology6 days agoPower bank feature creep is out of control
-
Dallas, TX4 days agoAnti-ICE protest outside Dallas City Hall follows deadly shooting in Minneapolis
-
Delaware3 days agoMERR responds to dead humpback whale washed up near Bethany Beach
-
Dallas, TX1 week agoDefensive coordinator candidates who could improve Cowboys’ brutal secondary in 2026
-
Montana2 days agoService door of Crans-Montana bar where 40 died in fire was locked from inside, owner says
-
Iowa6 days agoPat McAfee praises Audi Crooks, plays hype song for Iowa State star
-
Health1 week agoViral New Year reset routine is helping people adopt healthier habits