Lifestyle
L.A. Affairs: As a divorced mom, I was conflicted about dating. Until I met him
I was three years post-divorce, with a 12-year-old son and a newly adopted puppy, living in Park La Brea, where a community of single moms had come together. We were all free from the burden of marriage and entertained the idea of “getting back out there.” None of us had ever really dabbled with dating apps. We took the plunge together and began sending profiles of potential suitors around. We’d hype each other up for dates and then share hilarious post-date stories on group calls.
I was conflicted about dating. After my marriage had failed, I discovered I needed a lot of solo time to regenerate myself with regularity. I also didn’t want to bring anyone new into my son’s life for fear that he’d think another man had become my priority. I thought it would be fun to take a lover, but nothing serious. Ideally I could get dressed up once a week and go to a great restaurant or experience something fun in the city with zero expectations for the future and no strings attached.
My first app date was coffee with a drummer from a Midwest band I regularly saw in college. The conversation consisted of him endlessly name-dropping and asking zero questions about me. That made me ruthless in my swiping, inevitably resulting in corny app messages including “There are no more bees in your Hive.”
My three red flags for profile photos were: no photos on a step-and-repeat; no photos with a celebrity; and no photos cheers-ing with a drink. I had zero interest in dating anyone obsessed with stars or fame. Try steering clear of those in this city.
The idea of dating again had me sobbing to a girlfriend while driving to my next date. She reminded me of my dating plan by saying, “It’s just one date.” Expecting the worst, I was surprised instead to meet a successful entrepreneur and triathlete with sexy curly hair, an empty nester who lived in the suburbs an hour north of L.A. We had matched because he happened to be in the city, and my five-mile radius setting allowed him to appear. However, we came from worlds apart.
Him: Married young, clean-cut professional, impeccable dresser, no TV watching, a generous philanthropist, up at 5 a.m. to work out daily. He was a go-getter, a ball of energy, and he knew virtually nothing about pop culture. He was an adult man with a retirement plan, which made him sexy.
Me: Married later, unconventional creative type, tattoos, a lover of colorful trendy clothes, a free spirit and, after decades of wild partying, sober.
We found each other equally fascinating. We were dating outside our boxes. It was intoxicating.
I had declared that I didn’t need a man or a relationship, but this guy was different. This magnificent man kept showing up with flowers, leaving sweet cards, washing my car and filling my fridge. He did what he said he was going to do and always picked up my calls. A giver, not a taker, he showed me how to be a true partner in a relationship. Bit by bit, I was falling in love, and our chemistry was euphoric.
But even with all that, it soon became a game of Tetris, lining up the windows of time to spend together and where work, friends, parenting and solo-time pieces fit into the puzzle.
One date turned into three years of adventuring, monthly travels, new restaurants, cities, family weddings and concerts. He still drove into L.A. once or twice a week and most weekends, adding 240 miles and six hours of travel to the weekly grind. There were casual conversations about the future and even living together. I was committed to getting my son through high school. And then my life would be my own, so my typical response was: “Life will be wildly different in three years, and we’ll figure it out then.”
We got more intertwined in each other’s lives all while trying to compromise and negotiate the appropriate amount of time together. I have a firm quality-over-quantity mentality, while he craved a full-time partner to kiss goodnight and wake up with every morning. I continued to try to find more time for us to be together, and he reluctantly adjusted to not living together or seeing me every day. We coasted this way for a while, but the lack of focus on future plans became more glaring. It became obvious to him that I did have a plan. But it didn’t include a man.
When my son leaves for college in two years, I plan to put some dents in my bucket list: spontaneously travel, do volunteer work, sail the seas, visit friends and family — to be “free” in the sense that I would have no other significant person influencing my decisions.
My boyfriend was exhausted from remaining hopeful that I would want to settle into domestic daily bliss together, and it became clear that scenario might never materialize with me. We found ourselves at a crossroads and ultimately ended it.
It’s easier to end a relationship when someone’s cheating or betraying you, which has been my experience. But when you’re with someone healthy, loving and emotionally present, more is at stake. Giving up something because the timing is off, coupled with the persistent desire to maintain your original wants and needs, takes courage.
We’re only a couple of months post-breakup, and neither of us regrets the decision. It’s been sad and hard with a zillion reminders of each other. However, there is a spectacular life to live out there and all kinds of ways to do it with or without a partner. I get to decide, not because I need someone but because I want someone. We had to follow our instincts and be true to who we are.
We met up for a final dinner to exchange items and made a future date to circle back and see where our journeys have taken us. Maybe then, the timing will be right.
The author is the co-founder of the Good Things agency (Instagram: @goodthingsteam) and lives in Hollywood.
L.A. Affairs chronicles the search for romantic love in all its glorious expressions in the L.A. area, and we want to hear your true story. We pay $400 for a published essay. Email LAAffairs@latimes.com. You can find submission guidelines here. You can find past columns here.
Lifestyle
‘Stranger Things’ is over, but did they get the ending right? : Pop Culture Happy Hour
Millie Bobby Brown in the final season of Stranger Things.
Netflix
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Netflix
After five seasons and almost ten years, the saga of Netflix’s Stranger Things has reached its end. In a two-hour finale, we found out what happened to our heroes (including Millie Bobby Brown and Finn Wolfhard) when they set out to battle the forces of evil. The final season had new faces and new revelations, along with moments of friendship and conflict among the folks we’ve known and loved since the night Will Byers (Noah Schnapp) first disappeared. But did it stick the landing?
To access bonus episodes and sponsor-free listening for Pop Culture Happy Hour, subscribe to Pop Culture Happy Hour+ at plus.npr.org/happy.
Lifestyle
JasonMartin Says Adin Ross Disrespecting Doechii Stops in 2026
JasonMartin
Adin Ross Disrespecting Doechii …
Will Not Be Tolerated!!!
Published
TMZ.com
JasonMartin is putting his foot down after hearing Adin Ross call Doechii a “bitch” one too many times … the culture’s not going for it in 2026!!!
TMZ Hip Hop caught up with JM in L.A. this week, and he says Adin being aggressively addressed is vital to preventing outsiders of Black culture from toeing the line in the future.
Adin Ross is lying about Doechii and one of the biggest Twitter Accounts is behind it… pic.twitter.com/VoAwGJefyV
— Mike Tee (@ItsMikeTee) January 5, 2026
@ItsMikeTee
Adin maintains Doechii targeted him on her new track, “Girl, Get Up,” when she blasted people labeling her “an industry plant” … and blamed Complex magazine for helping fuel the fire.
Joe Budden, Glasses Malone, Wack 100, and Top Dawg Entertainment execs have all chimed in on Adin’s comments, and Jason says it’s bigger than internet tough talk … and won’t allow Adin to hide behind religion or freedom of speech to drag Black women.
Adin went on to collaborate with Tekashi 6ix9ine and Cuff Em on an anti-Lil Tjay and Doechii song, but has since said he’ll stay out of the beef; his chat doesn’t matter to him, and it’s not that deep to him.
TMZ.com
War mongering isn’t Jason’s only goal this year. He released 5 albums — “A Hit Dog Gon Holla,“ “I Told You So,“ “Mafia Cafe,“ “O.T.,“ and “A Lonely Winter” — to close out the 4th quarter and just may be in the “Snowfall” reboot with his buddy, Buddy!!!
Lifestyle
‘Everything I knew burned down around me’: A journalist looks back on LA’s fires
A firefighter works as homes burn during the Eaton fire in the Altadena area of Los Angeles County, Calif., on Jan. 7, 2025.
Josh Edelson/AFP via Getty Images
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Josh Edelson/AFP via Getty Images
On New Year’s Eve 2024, journalist Jacob Soboroff was sitting around a campfire with a friend when he made an offhand comment that would come back to haunt him: The last thing he wanted to do in the new year, Soboroff said, was cover a story that would require donning a fire-safe yellow suit.
Just one week later, Soboroff was dressed in the yellow suit, reporting live from a street corner in Los Angeles as fire tore through the Pacific Palisades, the community where he was raised.
“This was a place that I could navigate with my eyes closed,” Soboroff says of the neighborhood. “Every hallmark of my childhood I was watching carbonize in front of me. … There were firefighters there and first responders and other journalists there, but it was an extremely lonely, isolating experience to be standing there as everything I knew burned down around me in real time.”

In his new book, Firestorm: The Great Los Angeles Fires and America’s New Age of Disaster, Soboroff offers a minute-by-minute account of the catastrophe, told through the voices of firefighters, evacuees, scientists and political leaders. He says covering the wildfires was the most important assignment he’s ever undertaken.
“The experience of doing this is something that I don’t wish on anybody, but in a way I wish everybody could experience,” he says. “It’s given me insane reverence for our colleagues in the local news community here, who, I think, definitionally were exercising a public service in the street-level journalism that they were doing and are still doing. … It was actually beautiful to watch because they are as much a first responder on a frontline as anybody else.”
Interview highlights
On the experience of reporting from the fires
You’re choking with the smoke. And I almost feel guilty describing it from my vantage point because the firefighters would say things to me like: “My eyeballs were burning. We were laying flat on our stomach in the middle of the concrete street because it was so hot, it was the only way that we could open the hoses full bore and try to save anything that we could.” …
I could feel the heat on the back of my neck as we stood in front of these houses that I remember as the houses that cars and people would line up in front of for the annual Fourth of July parade or the road race that we would run through town. Trees were on fire behind us — we were at risk of structures falling at any given minute. It was pretty surreal because this is a place I had spent so much time as a child and going back to as an adult. … I had no choice but to just open my mouth and say what I saw to the millions of people that were watching us around the country.
On undocumented immigrants being central to rebuilding the city

These types of massive both humanitarian and natural disasters give us X-ray vision for a time into sort of the fissures that are underneath the surface in our society. And Los Angeles, in addition to being one of the most unequal cities between the rich and the poor, has more undocumented people than virtually any other city in the United States of America. Governor Newsom knew that with the policies of the incoming administration, some of the very people that would be responsible for the cleanup and the rebuilding of Los Angeles may end up in the crosshairs of national immigration policy. And I think that that was an understatement. …
Pablo Alvarado in the National Day Laborer Organizing Network said to me that often the first people into a disaster — the second responders after the first — are the day laborers. They went to Florida after Hurricane Andrew, to New Orleans after Katrina, and they’d be ready to go in Los Angeles. And I went out and I cleaned up Altadena and Pasadena with some of them in real time.
And only months later did this wide-scale immigration enforcement campaign begin … on the streets of LA as sort of the Petri dish, the guinea pig for expanding this across the country. And it’s not an exaggeration to say that the parking lots of Home Depots, where workers [were] looking to get involved in the rebuilding of Los Angeles, has been ground zero for that enforcement campaign.
On efforts to rebuild
The pace is slow and it’s sort of a hopscotch of development. And I think for people who do come back, for people who can afford to come back, it’s going to be a long road ahead. You’re going to have half the houses on your street under construction for years to come. And for people that do inhabit those homes, it’s going to an isolating experience. But there’s an effort underway to rebuild. …
There’s also a lot of for-sale signs. And that’s the sad reality of this, is that there are people who, whether it’s that they can’t afford to come back … or that they just can’t stomach it, I think, sadly, a lot people are not going to be returning to their homes.
On what the Palisades and Altadena look like today

They both look like very big construction sites in a way. There are still some facades, some ruins of the more historic buildings in the Palisades. … But mostly it’s just empty lots. And in Altadena, the same thing. If you drive by the hardware store, the outside is still there. But it’s a patchwork of empty lots. Homes now under construction. And lots and lots of workers. … There are still a handful of people who are living in both the Palisades and in Altadena, but for the most part, these are communities where you’ve got workers going in during the day and coming out at night. …
We have designed this community to be one that’s in the crosshairs of a fire just like the one we experienced and that we will certainly, certainly experience again, because nobody’s packing it up and leaving Los Angeles. People may not return to their communities after they’ve lost their homes, but the ship has sailed on living in the wildland urban interface in the second largest city in the country.
On seeing this story, personally, as his “most important assignment”
Jacob Soboroff is a correspondent for MS NOW, formerly MSNBC.
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Jason Frank Rothenberg/HarperCollins
I don’t think I realized at the time how badly I needed the connections that I made in the wake of the fire, both with the people who have lost homes and the firefighters, first responders who were out there, but also honestly with my own family, my immediate family, my wife and my kids, my mom and my dad and my siblings and myself. I think that this was a really hard year in LA, and I think in the wake of the fire, I was experiencing some level of despair as well. Then the ICE raids happened here and sort of turned our city upside down. And this book for me was just this amazing cathartic blessing of an opportunity to find community with people I don’t think I ever would have otherwise spent time with, and to reconnect with people who I hadn’t seen or heard from in forever.
Anna Bauman and Nico Wisler produced and edited this interview for broadcast. Bridget Bentz, Molly Seavy-Nesper and Beth Novey adapted it for the web.

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