Lifestyle
For Clockshop’s Kite Festival, build a newspaper kite using The Times’ Weekend section
After more than two decades working as a journalist, I’ve heard a lot of ways that people reuse their newspapers: lining a pet’s cage or litter box; cleaning a grill; shoving several pages into sneakers to help them dry after they get soaked during a hike with creek crossings.
I am a big advocate of repurposing items to keep them out of the landfill, and yet, I have never felt like any of these reuses celebrates the print medium for what it can provide beyond information.
That’s one reason I wanted The Times to publish a kite design in the Weekend section in coordination with the staff at Clockshop, a local community arts nonprofit, just in time for its annual kite festival, which is from 2 to 6 p.m. Saturday at Los Angeles State Historic Park, 1245 N. Spring St.
And now here’s your chance to make one.
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In Sunday’s newspaper, you’ll find a colorful trapezoid kite along with printed instructions on how to build the kite as well as a QR code that links to a video of our team showing you how to build it. Regardless of whether you attend the kite festival, this edition of the Weekend section deserves to fly far beyond the confines of your recycling bin.
You can buy a copy of the Sunday newspaper at local newsstands and most 7-Eleven, Ralphs, Albertsons, Vons, Circle K and CVS locations.
If you aren’t able to snag a print newspaper, we’ve also included a digital download where you can print a version of our kite design. The instructions are also below.
Skip to instructions for:
Kite using newspaper | Kite using digital version
The look of our kite was designed by L.A. artist Ben Sanders, who said he drew inspiration from our local landscape.
“I kind of wanted it to look like gusts of wind,” said Sanders, who hadn’t previously illustrated a kite design, “and I was thinking about wind gusts on the beach and pink sunsets and the shoreline and … maybe a sun that’s being refracted.”
I have so many memories of flying kites, but I must admit: Several of them aren’t great. What’s more disappointing as a little kid than running outside with a kite in your arms, anticipating your moment of glory, only to watch it crash repeatedly?
I asked Yaeun Stevie Choi, an L.A.-based artist and kite maker, what some common reasons kites fail were.
“This is where the physics part of kites comes in,” they said. “Generally speaking, there are essential ingredients of how a kite flies, so if you don’t have those, perhaps it will fail.”
For example, kites need to be designed symmetrically to successfully catch the wind, which is often blowing horizontally, Choi said, adding that sometimes people don’t attach a kite’s tail properly, not realizing the tail helps the kite orient itself. Or the kite maker might have attached the string in a way that inhibits the kite’s ability to catch air pressure and rise.
The kite that readers can build using The Times’ Weekend section.
(Kayla Bartkowski / Los Angeles Times)
And sometimes the ratio is just off. The area of the sail (in our case, the trapezoid shape in our newspaper) to the weight of the spars (the frame or rigid sticks that allow the kite to hold its shape) really matters. Heavier spars require a larger sail while people who build miniature kites sometimes don’t include a spar or will only use half a toothpick, Choi said.
Choi estimated that around six of their first kites failed. I asked them how someone can get over the embarrassment they might feel when their kite just doesn’t fly.
Choi produced a mischievous grin. “You wear a mask, like a monster mask [or] your favorite animal,” they said. “So you wear a penguin mask, so [onlookers] are like, ‘Oh, the penguin made a failing kite.’ They won’t be like, ‘Oh, a person embarrassed themselves.’”
In all seriousness, building and flying a kite is an opportunity to embrace a challenge rather than view a difficult task in binary terms, a point Choi and I discussed.
I also asked Sue Bell Yank, Clockshop’s executive director, how the kite festival began.
The organization wanted to celebrate the open sky above L.A. State Historic Park and reclaim what could be taken if the controversial electric aerial gondola system, first proposed in 2018 by a company funded by former Dodgers owner Frank McCourt, were built, as it would take passengers over the park on its way to Dodger Stadium.
Over the years, the festival has evolved into a celebration of the artistry of kite-making, although Clockshop still views it as a “joyful protest” that brings communities together on public lands, Yank said.
“There’s a sense of freedom in connecting yourself to the ground and the air and with the wind,” Yank said. “You’re working in concert with nature to get this kite off the ground.”
That’s the spirit that my colleagues and I had when we started this process.
The staff at Clockshop gave us a few kite designs they suggested we consider. Then Faith Stafford, a senior deputy design director, worked diligently to re-create one design out of newspaper. And because we’re journalists, we tested it since printing thousands of copies of a design that doesn’t work would require a historic and embarrassing correction none of us would fully recover from.
I procured kitchen twine from The Times’ Kitchen manager Luciana Momesso, and three of us — Stafford, deputy features editor Marques Harper and I — headed to The Times’ parking garage at our El Segundo office.
At the top of the garage, we asked one another: “Do you know how to fly a kite?” It was immediately clear we’d focused intensely on every detail of our kite-making process but that.
We wandered around the parking lot until we found the breeziest spot, although I was also Googling “How to fly a kite successfully.” Stafford bravely let our first newspaper prototype go, and there was a collective sigh of relief and joyous exclamation when our kite flew.
At the annual kite festival, The Times will have a booth where you can talk with us about our kite and snag a copy of the Weekend section that includes the kite design (while supplies last).
I am so eager to see our newspaper used in a tactical, whimsical way — a reuse option that’s been there all along.
How to build the L.A. Times kite (newspaper version)
Materials needed
- One May 3 edition of the L.A. Times’ Weekend section
- Two 17¼-inch bamboo spars, commonly found at grocery or gardening stores* (see notes)
- Kite line made of kitchen twine** and a winder***
- Scissors
- Transparent tape
1. Using your cellphone, take photos of the newspaper kite design on the L1 cover and on pages L6-7 and L10 before you start cutting so you have a reference point.
2. Now you’re ready to build our kite. First, leaving them in one large piece, cut out the trapezoid-shaped kite sail and the two thin triangles on these pages.
3. Cut out the trapezoidal vent in the middle of the sail, as indicated, and discard.
4. If you correctly followed Step 2 and left the kite sail and two triangles together in one large piece, skip to Step 6. If you mistakenly cut the triangles from the sail, follow this step: Tape the two triangular sections to the bottom of the sail, taping the base of the triangles (non-pointy ends) to the sail on both sides. You want the straight side of each triangle to face outward while both triangles’ angled sides face inward toward each other. (See images from your phone for reference.)
5. Now you’re ready to cut out and connect the strips to make the kite tail:
- Using the arrows as your guide, cut the portion below into six long strips. Make note of the letters on each end.
- Applying tape to both sides, tape A to A, B to B, C to C, etc., then tape all the strips until you have one long strip that starts and ends on yellow like the line below. The colors will match at each seam as the diagram below shows.
6. On the undecorated back side of the sail, tape the spars in place, as shown below.
7. Get the tail pieces you cut and assembled during Step 5. You will tape each end of the tail to where it matches the width of the triangular sections to make a connected long loop.
8. Turn the kite over so the front (decorated) side faces up. Tie your kite line securely around the spars, where they cross in the middle of the vent. Use two overhand (shoelace-style) knots.
9. If using a homemade winder,*** consider gluing or taping the string to the winder so that your string stays connected if you happen to use all of your string to fly the kite.
Notes:
* We tested our kite with bamboo spars, but if you don’t have those around your home, you could also try taping wooden coffee stirrers or other thin, lightweight wooden objects — although bamboo chopsticks might be too heavy. Some kitemakers have success with straws, but straws typically work better with diamond-shaped kites. A final option would be old wire hangers, but that could require a longer tail.
** We used kitchen twine, but other options are crochet thread as long as it isn’t too thick, or fishing line, although it can be difficult to see and tangles easily. You can also find string options at your local craft store. You want to have between 50 to 100 feet of string for the kite.
*** We tested our kite without a winder, but you can make one out of many household objects, including an empty toilet paper roll, a small, sturdy piece of cardboard or anything else around your home that will help you keep from tangling your line.
How to build the L.A. Times kite (digital version)
Materials needed
- One L.A. Times kite pattern printed on two 11-by-17-inch sheets of 20- to 24-pound paper* see notes
- Two 17¼-inch bamboo spars, commonly found at grocery or gardening stores** (see notes)
- Kite line made of kitchen twine** and a winder***
- Scissors
- Transparent tape
1. Print the pattern, ensuring the design is set to print on 11-by-17-inch (tabloid) size paper at 100% to scale. The design might not print correctly if your printer settings are set to “fit to page,” “fit to paper” or “fit to printable area.”
2. Cut out the trapezoid shape (your kite’s sail) on page 1 and the two triangular segments on the right and left side of the trapezoid shape.
3. Tape the two triangular sections to the bottom of the sail, taping the base of the triangles (non-pointy ends) to the sail on both sides. You want the straight side of each triangle to face outward while both triangles’ angled sides face inward toward each other (see below).
4. Cut the white space out of the middle of the trapezoid. This will be your kite’s vent. You don’t need this small white piece for your kite.
5. Now you’re ready to cut out and connect the strips (page 2) to make the kite tail:
- Using the arrows as your guide, cut the portion below into six long strips. Make note of the letters on each end.
- Applying tape to both sides, tape A to A, B to B, C to C, etc., then tape all the strips until you have one long strip that starts and ends on yellow like the line below. The colors will match at each seam as the diagram below shows.
6. On the undecorated back side of the sail, tape the spars in place, as shown below.
7. Get the tail pieces you cut and assembled during Step 5. You will tape each end of the tail to where it matches the width of the triangular sections to make a connected long loop.
8. Turn the kite over so the front (decorated) side faces up. Tie your kite line securely around the spars, where they cross in the middle of the vent. Use two overhand (shoelace-style) knots.
9. If using a homemade winder,*** consider gluing or taping the string to the winder so that your string stays connected if you happen to use all of your string to fly the kite.
10. Go have fun!
Notes:
* We recommend printing your design on an 11-by-17-inch, 20- or 24-pound piece of durable paper, like bond paper.
** We tested our kite with bamboo spars, but if you don’t have those around your home, you could also try taping wooden coffee stirrers or other thin, lightweight wooden objects — although bamboo chopsticks might be too heavy. Some kitemakers have success with straws, but straws typically work better with diamond-shaped kites.
*** We used kitchen twine, but other options are crochet thread as long as it isn’t too thick, or fishing line, although it can be difficult to see and tangles easily. You can also find string options at your local craft store. You want to have around 50 feet of string for the kite.
**** We tested our kite without a winder, but you can make one out of many household objects, including an empty toilet paper roll, a small, sturdy piece of cardboard or anything else around your home that will help you keep from tangling your line.
Sources: The Drachen Foundation; Trépanier Trapezoid kite design by Québec-based artist Robert Trépanier
Lifestyle
Why Mel’s Drive-In in Santa Monica is the perfect final stop on your Route 66 trip
Famous signs along the nearly 2,500 miles of Route 66 include the 66-foot soda bottle at Pops in Oklahoma, the wagging neon tail of Albuquerque’s Dog House and the hand-painted slogans for Snow Cap Drive-In in Arizona. But in L.A., none is so iconic as the giant looming penguin that signifies milkshakes, burgers, oldies playlists and sheer Americana at the end of the road.
Stories, photos and travel recommendations from America’s Mother Road
The Mother Road that stretches from Chicago to the West Coast unofficially ends at the Santa Monica Pier, but at its technical terminus, Mel’s Drive-In declares the “ROUTE ENDS HERE,” inlaid in terrazzo beneath that jumbo tuxedoed penguin. It’s been a beacon for decades, and though the beloved restaurant space recently was listed for sale for $26 million, Mel’s owners hope it remains a diner and destination for generations.
For much of its history, the diner at the end of Route 66 was the 1959-founded Penguin Coffee Shop, a Googie-architecture marvel of angular windows, rock walls and little cartoons of penguins hanging above swivel stools and an open kitchen.
The original penguin sign from the former Penguin Coffee Shop still stands at Mel’s Drive-In in Santa Monica.
As a very young child I remember sliding into the booths with my father, whose office was nearby on Wilshire. Back then, the tall angled ceilings seemed to soar and the breakfast combos looked mountainous.
“It was a Googie kind of restaurant — you know, we don’t have that many of them around anymore,” my dad recalls. “It had an aura of roadside diner about it. … Everybody would see the giant penguin out there. I don’t think Burgess Meredith ever ate there, though.” The joke takes me a beat before landing; my version of Batman’s Penguin will always be Danny DeVito.
“It was a Googie kind of restaurant — you know, we don’t have that many of them around anymore,” the writer’s dad recalls.
We’d visit every month or two, until the Penguin closed its doors in 1991 and transformed into a Western Dental office, which kept the penguin sign but dropped those high ceilings and removed the kitchen along with other hallmarks of its roadside charm. Thankfully, its journey didn’t end there.
The Weiss family, which founded Mel’s Drive-In diner in 1947, had been eyeing the property for years and signed a lease in 2016. Then there was the link to their own history: The prolific Armet & Davis architecture firm designed the Penguin as well as the current home of Mel’s Sherman Oaks.
“When the dentist office went out of business,” said co-owner Colton Weiss, “it seemed like a no-brainer to make it Mel’s and bring it back to the glory days of being a diner.”
What followed were two years of “very expensive” renovations, according to the third-generation Mel’s owner.
Beyond the iconic penguin sign — which obtained “historically or architecturally significant” designation in 2000 — Mel’s pays homage with the large sculptural, custom-made glass globe lights, which replicate the original’s. The Weisses hired garden specialists to review decades-old photos of the Penguin Coffee Shop to determine which varieties of flowers decorated the front of the restaurant, then they replanted them.
Since the building’s reopening in 2018, thousands of guests have ended the journey along Route 66 with a meal in the diner.
“We’re like Route 66 authorities now.”
— Colton Weiss, co-owner of Mel’s Drive-In
While sledgehammering drywall, they uncovered the diner’s original rock wall. Along a hallway near the bathrooms, a small gallery of Penguin Coffee Shop photos offers another glimpse of the predecessor. This location also features a marshmallow-and-chocolate-sauce Penguin Shake in honor of the tuxedoed mascot of the original.
It wasn’t until they were close to signing a deal that they realized it sat along Route 66.
“We’re like Route 66 authorities now,” said Weiss, whose father, Steven Weiss, was largely responsible for the restoration.
Since the building’s reopening in 2018, the owners say thousands of guests have ended their travels with a meal in the diner. They bustle through the doors after the long journey, sometimes bedecked in Route 66 merchandise, and sometimes buying Mel’s own brand of Route 66 merch while there.
Atmosphere and details of Mel’s Drive-In Diner.
“We had a guy do it in a ’67 Chevy, that was on his bucket list: Older guy who did it with his wife, and it was a convertible,” said Weiss. “He did it in summertime, so by the time he showed up he was covered in dust and dirt. He couldn’t be happier to make it to Mel’s and get a burger.”
Another, he said, did the whole route on a bicycle.
The diner offers certificates of completion for those who finish the trek, and devised a burger named for the route. A fish tank at the entrance features a Route 66 theme, as does a mural on a small wall of the parking lot. Two official signs, placed by the city, denote the location’s significance.
“The city knew there’d be renewed interest in a diner being the real ending of Route 66,” Weiss said. “Before, I don’t know anybody who’d want to end their trip at a dentist’s office. Maybe somebody who broke their teeth on the way.”
But the trail’s end could someday see its own end. The property was listed for sale in 2025. Representatives for the building’s management company didn’t respond to requests for comment.
“We’re trying to keep it there as long as possible,” Weiss said. “People really enjoy this location, and it seems like one of the last diners in Santa Monica.” Weiss declined to comment further.
Mel’s assistant manager Yazmin Minguelasays she sees more travelers now because it’s the centennial of Route 66. “But even before that, we still had a lot of visitors.”
She’s worked for Mel’s 22 years, six of which have been spent in the Santa Monica restaurant. Her shifts are full of Westside regulars, celebrities and guests finishing their trip along Route 66.
“Ending on a diner is nostalgia,” my dad mused. “Having a place like Mel’s, which is a substitute for the kind of flea-bitten ptomaine joints that you might get along Route 66, brings back memories to very old people. And very new people ask questions like, ‘Who’s Burgess Meredith?’”
Mel’s Drive-In is open at 1670 Lincoln Blvd., Santa Monica, Sunday to Thursday from 7 a.m. to 11 p.m., and Friday and Saturday from 7 a.m. to midnight.
Lifestyle
Is the Handbag Over?
Are women’s handbags becoming obsolete? I notice they are not as popular as they used to be. Some very powerful professional women do not use them, preferring clothing with pockets and/or brief cases. Is the age of the handbag over? — Nancy, Abyhoj, Denmark
If there is one thing that is certain in fashion, it is that everything that is out comes in again, so declaring the end of any garment or accessory is pretty much a fool’s errand. But it is also true that our relationship to fashion items changes over time, and when it comes to handbags, we are at something of a pivot point.
The data bears this out: According to a spokeswoman for Lyst, the fashion search engine, “After years of growth, demand for women’s handbags was down 5.5 percent in April 2026 compared to April 2025.”
However, she went on, using the same comparison, “searches for briefcases are up 14 percent.” As for clothes with pockets, search volume rose a whopping 542 percent between last January and April.
So what exactly is going on? I think the answer has to do with both fashion trends and power. The two are connected but also different.
Fashion first.
The supremacy of the It bag, that millennial symbol of arrival that was a flag on the arm to alert a wider world to an individual’s currency, taste and achievement, has fractured along with the wider culture. Every algorithm-driven niche now has its own bit of purse semiotics: the Trader Joe tote for the crunchy urban liberal set; the Prada Re-Edition 1995 for Carolyn Bessette Kennedy wannabes; the Row clutch for the stealth wealth set.
As luxury bag prices have risen to formerly unimaginable heights — the new, much buzzed-about Chanel Maxi Flap bag (leather, not quilted) is $8,500 — many consumers, even the very few who can afford them, have turned away in offense.
At the same time, the rise of vintage and resale markets means that onetime It bags like Balenciaga’s Le City and Mulberry’s Bayswater are once again discoverable. It can seem cooler to resurrect an old It bag than to risk looking like a fashion victim with a new one. (There’s a reason Fendi is reissuing the original versions of its famous Baguette, the bag that kick-started the whole 1990s phenomenon.)
And finally, the advent of phone technology means that more stuff can be contained in a much smaller space, and toting a mess of papers and objects may make you look old-fashioned.
Which leads me to the final reason our relationship to bags may be shifting: Generally, the more powerful the person, the less the need to carry a bag. The more powerful the person, the more likely they are to have people around them to deal with their stuff.
That means that if you are paying attention to that adage about dressing for the job you want (or the job you just got), the power move is to lose the handbag.
Though glass ceiling-breakers like Margaret Thatcher and Sanae Takaichi, the prime minister of Japan, turned their purses (or totes) into symbols of their ascension, many other powerful women have embraced the handbag-free effect. Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi were not known for their bags during their time in leadership. Nor was Kamala Harris, when she was a presidential candidate. Despite the obsessive chronicling of her wardrobe, neither was Michelle Obama.
Nor, currently, is Melania Trump. For all the attention paid to her outfits in her recent documentary, there was nary a handbag onscreen. Anna Wintour, the most powerful woman in fashion, is famous for carrying only her phone.
All of which points to the conclusion that what is obsolete is not necessarily the bag, but the era of its dominance.
Your Style Questions, Answered
Every week on Open Thread, Vanessa will answer a reader’s fashion-related question, which you can send to her anytime via email or X. Questions are edited and condensed.
Lifestyle
Why I walked 89 miles to every Erewhon in town
The idea grew as organically as the purple cauliflower at Erewhon. One day, I walked from my place in Los Feliz to the beach. I stopped at two Erewhon locations on the way to refuel. I made a reel about my journey and posted it to Instagram. My friend Fish saw it and said, “You should walk to all the Erewhons.”
I thought: I don’t have time to do that. I’m a very serious person who needs to write her novel.
But later I found myself mapping out an 89-mile hike in my Notes App, starting in Pasadena and ending in Calabasas, stopping at all 10 Erewhon locations on the way. (My route did not include the Palisades, which is closed because of the fires; nor did it include LACMA or the new Glendale locale.)
“I need to write my novel” is a thought I have a lot. I usually heed this thought and sit at the desk like a soldier, imagining the wonderful day when I’ll sell said novel — for an amount that would probably be comparable to a fraction of an Erewhon employee’s yearly salary.
Erewhon Trail map illustration by Swan Huntley.
(Erewhon Trail map illustration by Swan Huntley. )
I really wasn’t in the mood to write the novel, though. When I imagined myself pecking away at the keyboard, I felt bad. When I imagined myself walking around L.A. in my Home Depot gardening hat, I felt good. So, I put on my hat, got into an Uber headed for Pasadena, and texted my sister, “Carpe diem, bitch.” Or at least that was my intention. What I actually sent was, “Carpet diem hitch.”
Over the summer, I hiked a little bit of the Pacific Crest Trail. A few years ago, I biked the Camino in Spain. I’ve walked from Los Feliz to the beach a handful of times. I’ve traversed the length of Manhattan thrice. Before that, when I was a teenager, I used to trek from La Jolla to Del Mar while drinking beer (I carried a cooler; yes, I’m sober now) and listening to Sarah McLachlan on my Discman. I’ve always been drawn to activities that many people find tedious. Like walking forever. Or writing a novel.
Starting in the fourth century, pilgrimages were served up by the church as a way for Christians to pay penance for their sins. They were hard and dangerous and a lot of people died. Fast-forward to now: Such treks have taken on an “Eat, Pray, Love” aura. Or a “Wild “ aura. They live in the realm of self-help and of sport. They’re a way to create friction in an increasingly frictionless world. By walking from Mexico to Canada, or from Erewhon to Erewhon, I wonder whether we’re trying to get back to the part of ourselves that wants to try harder.
Or we just want to become more valuable dinner party guests.
What do you do?
I do really long walks.
I ordered a Goddess Smoothie in Pasadena, and then I repeated this tradition at every store thereafter. The smoothie costs $19, tastes like heaven, and it’s green, which my brain reads as “good for me.”
It took me a little over three hours to walk 11 miles to Silver Lake. I got a Vegan Avocado Sandwich for lunch, took an Uber home and posted a reel on Instagram about my first day on the trail. A lot of people liked it. Some of them called me a genius.
In the last 10 years, I’ve published four novels and two illustrated books for adults. I was naïve and just totally blindly happy about the publishing process in the beginning. People wanted to buy my work? Other people wanted to read it? Cool.
The first book, “We Could Be Beautiful,” did well because the publisher put real money into the marketing of it. Then that stopped happening. At a certain point, I realized that expecting too much was unwise. It was up to me to market my books myself. Which meant: social media.
They say you have to see a book cover six times before you buy the book — or consider buying it. There are a lot of book covers on Instagram. Actually, there’s a lot of everything on Instagram, and out of all the everything, is a book cover that exciting?
No.
My second reel, which depicted my journey from Silver Lake to Studio City, went a little bit viral. To date, almost 10,000 people have shared it with their friends. Why? I think the answer has something to do with a desire for levity.
If the atmosphere of the world could be depicted by an Erewhon beverage, it wouldn’t be a vibrant, cheerful one, like the bright magenta Pitaya Smoothie. It would be the dark and brooding Germ Warfare Shot. I find it perplexing that people talk about the apocalypse as if it’s happening later. It’s happening now. If we were really thinking about how climate change is affecting us, we’d be out in the streets screaming. All the time. But we’re not doing that. We’re carrying on with our usual lives. Apparently, for me, that includes walking to Erewhons.
Any long-distance trek is as much an internal journey as it is external. As I continued the trail, I started to think that maybe my endeavor was a reaction to my feeling of total powerlessness. I can’t save the polar bears. I can’t force the president to go to therapy. But I can add some levity to the brooding atmosphere.
Recently, someone commented on one of the reels, “Transplants make LA locals look bad.” This person, and many others, hear the name Erewhon and assume I’m poking fun at it. Erewhon has become a joke about L.A. — a joke that was amplified after Hailey Bieber invented her smoothie in 2022 that Erewhon dubs the “Strawberry Glaze Skin Smoothie.” I’ve never had it, but I can tell you that it looks like a sky full of strawberry clouds. According to an Erewhon employee I spoke to, this smoothie was a turning point. It aligned the brand with wealth and power. Now, Erewhon evokes the image of smooth-skinned, health-conscious Angelenos with money to burn.
The Erewhon Trail, then, inevitably becomes a conversation about privilege, my own included. Instagram hid my two favorite comments, because it was worried they’d be too rude to show, but I think they’re the funniest ones.
This is what white people do on Prozac.
This is what happens when a liberal arts teacher gets fired.
To both of these comments, I say: Yes.
I’m not on Prozac yet, but maybe after I get fired, I will be.
In order to get fired, though, I’d have to get an actual job, which might never happen.
The most intense leg of the trail was from Santa Monica to Calabasas. My friend Fish joined me. Google said it would take 27 miles. After marching through the mountains, I decided to use my own intelligence to make the route shorter. This cut out four miles, bringing the total to 23. For long stretches, Fish and I walked in the bike lane, or in the bramble by the side of the road. That’s the penalty for straying from Google. Your sidewalks disappear and your chances of getting hit by a car go way up.
My legs were noodles by the time we got to Calabasas. I crawled across the parking lot to show my viewers how weak they’d become. The employee at the door smiled at me and handed me a basket, and I thought about the pain of my legs, which no one could see, and about all the secret battles people are fighting all the time, and I wished that we cared about each other as much as Erewhon cares about us. Multiple employees were perfecting the already-perfect plateaus of bell peppers and apples in the produce section. Their thoughtfulness was the opposite of the vibe I encounter in most public restrooms, which is that the strangers who were there before me didn’t have many thoughts about my experience. As lame as the fact that an Erewhon smoothie costs $19 is that so many of us need to be paid to be nice to each other.
When I tell people about my love for Erewhon, they either say, “Duh, I know,” or something along the lines of, “That place is ridiculous, right?” This is almost always followed by the mention of a food item and some amount of money. Like, “Doesn’t a carrot cost $12,000?”
Actually, I tell them, no. Although sometimes, yes. There is a Japanese strawberry that’s famously expensive ($20), but that’s avoidable. I then explain that contrary to popular thought, there is a way to shop at Erewhon on a budget. A jar of soup, for example, costs $15.50. If you return the bottle, you get $3 back. In my opinion, the soup can be two meals, so that’s $6.25 per meal. A lot of the produce is either the same price or only a little bit more expensive than at other health food stores, and it’s in consistently better shape. The most important piece of making Erewhon more affordable, though, is becoming a member. You get 10% off, a free drink of the month and discounts on a bunch of items.
You might be wondering: How many Erewhon memberships has she personally sold?
She’s lost count.
The other reason to go to Erewhon is the environment. It’s visually appealing and the employee-to-customer ratio is notable, and the result is that you feel like you’re at a resort. And frankly, these simple things — a nice environment, high quality food — should be available to everyone.
Back to the question of whether or not Erewhon is ridiculous — yes, of course it is. If you sit at any of the locations and listen to the conversations around you, you’ll probably feel like you’re an extra in a satirical movie. At Studio City, I overheard two moms in white pants and cashmere sweaters talking about how, based on their Instagram recon, they figured out that so-and-so was sitting next to so-and-so at a benefit dinner. Another snippet I overheard in Studio City: “You gotta make music from the heart, man, and the label will feel it.”
It didn’t occur to me to ask for free merch until after I’d finished the trail. Armando at the Santa Monica location was the lucky recipient of my request. I explained my uniquely heroic feat to him, and then wondered aloud if perhaps I could get a sweatshirt, or at least a hat.
Sadly, Armando was unauthorized to give me merch, but he did offer me a gift card in a tiny envelope. I was very grateful. I assumed the card was worth $50 at least.
After we parted ways, I opened the envelope.
Ten dollars.
Enough to put a down payment on a smoothie.
My dreams now are so different from when I was younger. Back in grad school, I imagined that maybe I’d write a bestselling novel, and maybe it would be adapted for the screen, and maybe my tombstone would read: She contributed very serious literature to civilization.
What I never accounted for was, of course, the unknown. Maybe one day, over a decade after school ended, I’d get a lot of attention for making performance art about walking to grocery stores.
Huntley’s novels include “I Want You More,” “Getting Clean With Stevie Green,” “The Goddesses” and “We Could Be Beautiful.” She’s also the writer/illustrator of the darkly humorous “The Bad Mood Book” and “You’re Grounded: An Anti-Self-Help Book to Calm You the F— Down.” She lives in Los Angeles.
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