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Column: 8 hot new wellness trends just in time for April 1

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Column: 8 hot new wellness trends just in time for April 1

Millions of Angelenos flock to the newest, most luxurious and financially-aggressive pseudosciences in the name of health. Wellness is so intrinsic to our identity it raises the question: Have you had a vitamin aloe serenity scrub under a glowing red light contour mask using a triple-hydration oxygenator submerged in a vitamin C longevity mist inside a gently eroding brutal-minimalist high-rise overlooking a Zankou Chicken?

Is all that real? Yes. Is there a lot of bespoke wellness fabrication going on in this city (and maybe even on this page as you keep scrolling)? Also … yes. Today — April 1st — we imagine, with our tongues blithely thrust deep into our cheeks, just how far wellness trends could go in 2026. Whether you’re a true believer or here for a couple laughs (wink, wink), we can all agree that Los Angeles isn’t afraid of grabbing onto the fringes.

Cabbage-core

With more than a dozen varieties grown in and around SoCal, in 2026 alone, heads (of cabbage) will roll if Angelenos can’t get their fix of this vitamin-rich, potassium-laden, calcium-blasted antioxidant VIP in 2026. Used for lactation suppression, nutrition, a cute hat or coleslaw. Who is 2026’s “it” girl? It’s cabbage, babe.

Girl, this is 2026, you don’t need to pay for allll that grilled shrimp! These dainty menus are taking L.A.’s hottest restaurants by storm, offering the 5 to 11 bites of the food you’ll need to look like you didn’t manipulate your pancreas to release insulin signaling your brain that you’re totally full!

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FIFA for the Olds

With the World Cup upon us, soccer-loving Gen X and elder millennial Angelenos are desperate to get in on the action. Enter World Cup Camp, a place where aging super fans can step into the lives of a professional footballer without the excruciating, chronic pain (more or less). Think of it like Space Camp … but for “athletic” DINKs who played soccer in high school, just a short couple decades ago! From cleats with orthopedic insoles to scoring a single point donned in the international flag of one’s choice, this weekend is all about geeking out in ill-fitting soccer gear of yore, getting a couple good photo ops, and doing some half-assed yet earnest drills that would make fellow-41-year-old Cristiano Ronaldo proud.

Chrononutrition

An ancient nightmare, unpleasant even by L.A. standards, Chrononutrition aligns eating windows with the sun’s movement to optimize metabolism, sleep and body conditioning (so hot among L.A.’s multi-hyphenate multi-hyphenates). This exciting nutrition system may include fun things like nearly blinding your boss with direct sunlight at an open-air business lunch, or shoveling food in your face from 5:10 to 5:11 p.m. If you loved creating a whole personality around intermittent fasting, welcome: You’ve found your people.

Hot Line Dancing

The L.A. line dancing revival is back … and hotter than ever (literally). Creating stronger flexibility, groundedness and rank body odor, shimmying around in 105 degree heat is having a wild, wild wellness moment. Do you know the steps? Of course you don’t! But it doesn’t matter, just grab your best tight denim and thick leatherware and enter Club Bahia’s famed “Summer in Van Nuys Room,” for a night of pure heat, lunges and Nama-staying hydrated.

Optimized Flatulence

Your gut biome is the holy grail of wellness, so it’s only natural us humans would want to find it, conquer it and aggressively exploit it. Enter Optimized Flatulence, the new and disturbing trend of flatulating on your own schedule. No more embarrassing surprises! A simple “Substance”-eque sequence of probiotics triggers a relaxing unconscious state, regenerating a utopian gut biome in a short six to eight weeks. After awakening, the biome’s newly cultivated gut flora will respond to your neurological directive, allowing you to ultimately control when — and where — your wind breaks.

Circadian Overhead Lighting

As most Angelenos know, anti-aging efforts come in many annoying forms. But this time, the call is coming from inside the house — your house. L.A. homes are increasingly being outfitted with lighting technology that mimics the exact hue of the sun. These “Circadian Overhead lights” are designed to protect melatonin production, a new (and expensive) weapon in the war against looking old. The best part: using these lights means you’ll be in bed by 6 p.m, ready for an evening of total darkness and forced rest. Chic!

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Amino Acid Trips

This is peptide packing at its hallucinogenic limit, no yurt necessary! Ingest a small but powerful tab of L.A.-grown protein-rich amino acids optimized to enhance their longevity and fat-burning properties, and let the aminos take you away. If you thought injections were effective, wait until the rush of millions of strains of ambiguous compounds hit! They say one amino acid trip is like two lifetimes of therapy, a stint in rehab and a fight with your absentee father, all in one.

As a wise and wellness-conscious Angeleno, you wouldn’t want to be the last one in your too-intense preschool moms text chain or chakra-balancing Zoom class to get in on these trends, would you? After all, spring’s here … and, well, so is my big admission: These trends are completely fake and totally illegitimate, and — like many actual fad-based treatments — meant purely for fun and not for serious consumption.

Happy April Fools!

Leib is a comedian, TV writer, podcaster and cultural journalist who has, to date, never worn cabbage as a hat.

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‘Hellions’ author Julia Elliott wins $150K fiction prize

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‘Hellions’ author Julia Elliott wins 0K fiction prize

Author Julia Elliott won for her short story collection Hellions.

Forrest Clonts/Tin House


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Forrest Clonts/Tin House

Writer Julia Elliott has won this year’s Carol Shields Prize for Fiction for her short story collection Hellions. The award honors work by women and nonbinary authors in the U.S. and Canada.

Elliott, who also authored the novel The New and Improved Romie Futch and the short story collection The Wilds, is known for blending elements of Southern gothic horror, surrealism and fairy tale. Hellions, published in 2025, includes stories set against backdrops like a plague-stricken medieval convent, a feminist art colony, and small Southern towns.

“This eerie, eclectic, genre-leaping collection takes no half-measures; every sentence of Hellions crackles or crawls,” wrote the prize jury in a statement. “Here, human folly moves against a backdrop of horror and magic … But for all its wildness, there is tremendous control.”

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The prize, named after a Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist, awards $150,000 to one winner each year. Novels, short story collections, and graphic novels by women and nonbinary authors are eligible.

This year’s finalists included Quiara Alegría Hudes (The White Hot), Lee Lai (Cannon), Megha Majumdar (A Guardian and a Thief), and Sonya Walger (Lion). They will each receive $12,500.

The Carol Shields Prize went to writer Canisia Lubrin in 2025.

You can listen to actor Donna Lynne Champlin read Elliott’s story “Hellion” on the Death, Sex & Money podcast here.

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Video: The Fashion References in ‘Cats: The Jellicle Ball’

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Video: The Fashion References in ‘Cats: The Jellicle Ball’

new video loaded: The Fashion References in ‘Cats: The Jellicle Ball’

Cats: The Jellicle Ball” has received nine Tony nominations, including one for Qween Jean, the costume designer. Our chief fashion critic, Vanessa Friedman, joins our chief theater critic Helen Shaw to talk with Qween Jean and to uncover some of the show’s hidden references.

By Helen Shaw, Vanessa Friedman, Léo Hamelin, Laura Salaberry and Sutton Raphael

June 2, 2026

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Inside the all-masc lesbian and translesbian revue electrifying L.A. nightlife

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Inside the all-masc lesbian and translesbian revue electrifying L.A. nightlife

At around 1 in the morning at the Sassafras Saloon in Hollywood, four masc lesbians in cowboy hats and chaps were dancing on top of the bar while bartenders attempted to continue making espresso martinis beneath them.

One performer crawled into the crowd and between the spread legs of an audience member, licking the air between their thighs. Another wrapped a belt around their girlfriend’s neck while thrusting against her to Bon Jovi’s “You Give Love a Bad Name.” The ravenous audience, almost entirely women, fluttered dollar bills all around, while easily filling the saloon’s 300-person capacity.

Across Los Angeles, countless strip clubs and revue shows were unfolding at that same hour, though none quite like this and likely few provoking this level of frenzy. The night had all the riotous energy of a scene from “Coyote Ugly,” with the choreographed masculinity of “Magic Mike.” Playing on the latter’s name, this was the doing of Magic Mascs, an all-masc lesbian and translesbian revue, by sapphics for sapphics.

Skye Valentinez, from left, Alexa Legend, Daddii Syd and King Captain are members of Magic Mascs, an all-masc lesbian and translesbian collective, that started in February.

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“Our idea was to give lesbians what men get all the time at a strip club, but instead of just sitting around and singing ‘Pink Pony Club,’ actually going wild,” said group founder Daddii Syd, a.k.a. Syd Latimore.

The performers, self-described “daddies” — Daddii Syd, Alexa Legend, Skye Valentinez and King Captain — formed Magic Mascs in February. The performance at the Saloon was their third overall, but the group has already become an institution within lesbian nightlife in Los Angeles. They will make their debut during a Pride Month performance on Friday at Womxn Pride’s rooftop party in downtown L.A.

The members come from professional dance backgrounds. King Captain entered dance school at age 12 and taught dance for nearly a decade. Daddii Syd has danced since childhood. Alexa Legend spent years go-go dancing across clubs in the city before joining the troupe. Skye Valentinez, the baby of the group — cherub-faced, smiling through braces — is the newest to performing, though she steps into it naturally, exhibiting the same living, breathing caricature of masculinity as the rest of them.

“No one’s trying to be cisgender,” King Captain makes clear. “We’re not trying to be the kind of men who are born into and fed by patriarchy,” Daddii Syd added. “We’re redefining masculinity.”

King Captain gets their underwear stuffed with dollar bills from the crowd.

King Captain gets their underwear stuffed with dollar bills from the crowd.

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Magic Mascs’ success follows a broader trend of lesbians confidently stepping into masculinity before hungry eyes. In the past year, performative masc competitions have appeared across the country, with lesbians — hair slicked back and carabiners dangling from their Carhartt jeans — showing off in front of leering crowds. Magic Mascs feels like a more professionalized version of that phenomenon, less tongue-in-cheek — just tongue.

“We always knew there was a huge hunger for this,” Daddii Syd said.

Their first performance, in San Diego, sold out fast.

“I knew right away we were onto something special,” Daddii Syd said.

Videos of the troupe traveled far across sapphics’ algorithms, especially clips of King Captain, whose devoted fan base — known collectively as “The Castle” — make arduous trips just to see them in the flesh. One fan drove more than 20 hours from Dallas to San Diego to see Magic Mascs. Another sent an edible fruit bouquet from Australia.

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Backstage, every gesture from the troupe was ultra-confident. Captain, wearing briefs stuffed with a sock full of rice, talked to me with a leg cocked on the footrest of my stool. Daddii Syd, Alexa Legend and Skye Valentinez stood pelvis-forward, hands behind their heads, flexing ropey muscles. They loved the camera, eyeing it like prey while tipping the brims of their cowboy hats. (“You guys are like the modern-day Beatles,” our photographer said.)

King Captain gets the Hollywood crowd into a frenzy during a recent show.

King Captain gets the Hollywood crowd into a frenzy during a recent show.

Everything in the show revolved around their hips. The performers rolled and glided before delivering sudden, mechanical thrusts powerful enough to rattle nearby glasses. Their bodies were taut with effort and exaggerated lust. Daddii Syd performed with her girlfriend Jamie in matching plaid, not leaving much to the imagination as they licked whipped cream off each other.

Alexa Legend, who described herself as shy offstage, eventually stripped down to nipple pasties and a cowboy hat, firing confetti from her crotch into the crowd. King Captain swerved their hips like a powerful mechanical bull. “Oh, Captain, my captain,” someone in the crowd said, hand pressed dramatically to her forehead.

They paid particular attention to a woman in a wheelchair in the crowd — typical of their performances — asking if they could sit on the wheelchair. They received keen consent. “That was, um, very nice,” she told me after, still a little lost for words.

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“We’re huge on consent,” Daddii Syd said. At the start of the show, they told the crowd to cross their arms in a Wakanda Forever pose if they didn’t wish to be touched. They checked in constantly while moving through the crowd, leaning close to ask questions like, “Is this OK?” and “Anywhere you don’t like to be touched?”

Captain learned these habits through work in intimacy coordination and under the mentorship of Tonia Sina, among the first professional intimacy coordinators in Hollywood. That ethos of care extended beyond their interactions with the audience and into the way they interacted with one another offstage.

Performer King Captain of Magic Mascs take a tip from a fan.

“We want everyone in the crowd to feel gorgeous,” King Captain said before the recent show at Sassafras Saloon in Hollywood.

Performer King Captain, left, and Lauren Henson, a stage kitten for the group, perform together on the bar.

King Captain, left, and Lauren Henson, a stage kitten for the Magic Mascs, perform together on the bar.

Forming a sanctuary for themselves was just as important to the troupe as emboldening others’ desire. “It’s hard to find other masc friends,” Daddii Syd said. “Everybody’s weirdly competitive and trying to sabotage each other.” King Captain agreed, asking: “Why can’t we all be daddies at the same time?”

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Daddii Syd and King Captain, who are both in their 30s, had little butch representation or friendship growing up and they have now become something like father figures to Alexa Legend and Skye Valentinez, who are in their 20s.

“We have to protect each other,” King Captain said. “We have to look out for each other.”

Daddii Syd put her arm around Skye Valentinez and said: “Look at this beautiful baby we have.”

That tenderness carried straight into the night. There was a striking seriousness to the whole performance, which spanned from just past 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. Unlike a bachelorette party or the typical male revue, there was no giggling in the room, and no wink of camp from the performers. Here was a rare claim to unabashed public sapphic desire; it was given the scale and seriousness routinely afforded to heterosexual display, like the gleeful bravado of a man striding into Hooters.

By the end of the night at Sassafras Saloon, the performers had stripped down nearly to nothing, pouring water over themselves while the audience roared. The atmosphere felt like one of collective release, a recognition that masculinity and desire don’t belong only to men — that a group of four masc lesbians can be horny, inspire horniness and ultimately stir a hysteria that once greeted Channing Tatum or even the Beatles.

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It was the magnitude of the response that night at the Saloon, as on every other night they’ve performed, that’s inspiring their next moves: total domination in sum. The troupe is already planning a national tour through Florida, Dallas and Sacramento, though Daddii Syd’s ambitions extend much further.

“The idea,” she told me, “is to go global. Like a boy band.”

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