Health
Why do women get 'the ick' from men? Experts explain the psychology behind the feeling
In modern dating, the “ick” is primarily experienced by women and feared by men.
The term has gone viral on social media in recent years.
It describes a feeling of disgust toward the actions, appearances and other characteristics of someone’s partner.
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Some examples of popular icks include people chewing with their mouths open, wearing flip-flops or tripping over their own feet while walking.
The list has narrowed to a more specific set of icks blasted on the internet, including aversions to how men chase after a ping-pong ball, or even use a debit card instead of a credit card on a date.
One woman on TikTok posted a video of her significant other walking around the apartment wearing tiny no-show socks. (TikTok/Screenshot/Amanda)
Primal instinct
National Geographic claims that the “ick” feeling is related to a biological, primal instinct.
In several primate species, including humans, adult females are “more sensitive to grossness than males,” according to a scientific dive by NatGeo.
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“For instance, female gray mouse lemurs and Japanese macaques are more likely than males to turn up their noses at contaminated food, while female western lowland gorillas and olive baboons tend to avoid fellow animals with skin infections,” the report noted.
This cautiousness then leads to a lower incidence of infectious disease in females, according to scientists.
Female Japanese macaques are “more likely than males to turn up their noses at contaminated food,” experts say. (iStock)
Cecile Sarabian, a cognitive ecologist at the Institute for Advanced Study in Toulouse, France, told NatGeo that there’s a “protective power to the ‘yuck.’”
She suggested that females’ pickiness about what they eat and who they expose themselves to “may be one of the reasons female primates live longer than males.”
“Scientists don’t know why lots of female animals — including humans — are more easily grossed out than males.”
Elizabeth Anne Brown, a National Geographic contributing writer based in Denmark, commented on the findings.
“Scientists don’t know why lots of female animals — including humans — are more easily grossed out than males,” she told Fox News Digital.
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“But ‘yuck’ acts like an advanced guard for our immune system, limiting our exposure to things that could make us sick, like parasites and bacteria.”
Disgust “plays an important role” in mate selection for primates, Brown said, as females of some species “will absolutely shut down prospective suitors [who have] symptoms of STDs.”
“Female gorillas take ‘the ick’ so seriously they basically skip town and start a new life,” a NatGeo contributing writer said. (iStock)
“If the resident male in a troop of western lowland gorillas develops pale blotches on his face — a symptom of infection with treponema, the same contagious bacteria that causes syphilis in humans — some females will fully abandon the troop and search for an uninfected male,” she said.
“These female gorillas take ‘the ick’ so seriously that they basically skip town and start a new life.”
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In analyzing Japanese macaques, Sarabian noted that the females would wipe off any leaf litter from their acorns before eating them, while the males were “more likely to gobble the food down having barely looked at it.”
She added, “Unfortunately, the only dating advice we can take from our primate cousins is to be cautious about STDs — always a good policy.”
Those who “get the ick” easily should try shifting their perception of the situation, one expert suggested. (iStock)
Psychology of feeling icky
Dr. Kyra Bobinet, a California behavioral neuroscientist and author of “Unstoppable Brain,” broke down what happens in the brain when someone feels disgusted.
“Anything we are averse to, that we want to avoid, or that we shrink back from — including the ick — is controlled by this area of the brain [called the habenula],” she told Fox News Digital.
The habenula is a central part of the brain that’s involved in various important functions, including motivation and decision-making, according to the expert.
The habenula is a central part of the brain that’s involved in various important functions, including motivation and decision-making. (iStock)
This area, when activated, “kills our motivation to try,” said Bobinet.
“This area of your brain is scouting for anything that’s not going to work out for you,” she said. “It has a negativity bias.”
The expert encouraged those who “get the ick” to try shifting their perception of the situation.
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Bobinet also agreed that women are biologically more prone to having self-awareness of “icky” feelings, as they are “made to make babies.”
She said, “We have to be very sensitive to our environment because we have to protect the baby from fumes, from danger, from all these things.”
Women are biologically more prone to having self-awareness of “icky” feelings, as they are “made to make babies,” an expert noted. (iStock)
Role of social media
The ick gets “taken to an extreme” on social media, according to Bobinet — “and you can get really narrowed down and too picky.”
This can interfere with dating, the expert suggested, as criteria for a partner become “unrealistic.”
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M. David Rudd, PhD, distinguished professor of psychology at The University of Memphis, said there are “undoubtedly evolutionary reasons” for disgust “across genders.”
“But it’s important to always factor into today’s phenomenon the issue of social learning and related reinforcement driven by the broad and unparalleled reach of social media,” he told Fox News Digital.
Modern dating poses struggles for both genders, experts said. (iStock)
Rudd noted that social media creators are also motivated by attention and financial gain, which can move along trends more than “any meaningful evolutionary purpose.”
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“Those most vulnerable to mimicking social media behavior are often those most in need of the central motivators to begin with — attention being the central one, quickly followed by money,” he said.
“Extrapolating and interpreting evolutionary benefits in this context is likely to lead to considerably high error rates.”
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After a season of bingeing and drinking, your body may feel like it needs a break from the party.
Dry January — a modern trend that challenges people to abstain from drinking for the first month of the year — has become a popular way to “detox” from the holidays and start the new year on a healthy note.
Research has linked alcohol to a variety of health conditions, ranging from hangovers to higher cancer risk.
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In a recent podcast episode of “The Dr. Mark Hyman Show,” Dr. Mark Hyman, chief medical officer of Function Health, shared how 30 days of not drinking alcohol can transform health.
Hyman, who is based in Massachusetts, called Dry January a “powerful way to see in real time how alcohol affects nearly every system of your body and how quickly those systems can recover.”
Dry January has become a popular way to “detox” from the holidays and start the new year on a healthy note. (iStock)
Alcohol’s toll on the brain and body
Hyman acknowledged that most people drink to feel happier and more comfortable in social situations. This effect is caused by the main ingredient in alcohol, called ethanol, which can also have toxic effects.
Instead of stimulating the brain, alcohol slows it down and loosens inhibitions. “You feel more relaxed, more social, more confident, maybe you feel a little euphoric,” Hyman said.
Alcohol’s effect on the brain can also lead to poorer decisions and slower reflexes, the doctor cautioned.
Drinking alcohol can cause cognitive decline and brain fog, experts warn. (iStock)
Drinking also impacts the prefrontal cortex of the brain, which Hyman described as “the adult in the room,” responsible for judgment, planning and restraint. “It goes offline early in drinking, which explains why people feel freer or act impulsively when they drink,” he said.
Even moderate drinking can cause metabolic stress, inflammation, impaired detoxification and hormonal shifts, Hyman said, which can impact nearly every organ system in the body.
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Alcohol consumption has also been linked to an increased risk of cancer, metabolic dysfunction, gut microbiome disturbances and mitochondrial toxins.
It can also prevent the body from falling into REM sleep, which is the deep rest recovery period when the immune system cleans out the day’s toxins, according to Hyman.
Alcohol can impact deep rest and mental health, according to experts. (iStock)
Memory loss, cognitive decline, anxiety, sleep disruption, dementia and cardiovascular disease are all known risks of long-term alcohol use, as well as liver complications like fatty liver disease.
“Bottom line, alcohol taxes every major system in your body, especially your liver, your brain, your gut, your hormones,” Hyman said.
The effects of 30 days with no alcohol
The first week after your last drink, the body begins to detoxify and reset, according to Hyman. Blood sugar and cortisol stress hormones level out, and the liver begins to process a “backlog of toxins.” The body also re-hydrates and re-energizes.
The first 30 days with no alcohol allows the body to balance itself out. (iStock)
The second week, the gut and brain will begin to re-balance, as hormones like serotonin and dopamine stabilize, gut inflammation drops and the microbiome begins to heal. Cravings for sugar and alcohol will wane and mental clarity returns, the doctor said.
Week three is marked by further decreases in inflammation, fatty liver and blood pressure. This can be noticeable in the skin, as puffiness and redness are reduced. Mood also begins to stabilize, with lower anxiety levels.
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In week four, the body experiences additional metabolic and immune benefits, Hyman shared, including more insulin sensitivity, which makes it easier to lose weight.
“You have a stronger immune response. You’re not getting sick as much. You have better deep sleep, balanced hormones, especially cortisol and testosterone,” he said. “And you see a big change in energy, confidence and focus.”
Abstaining from alcohol can help restore energy, according to experts. (iStock)
Dr. Pinchieh Chiang, a clinician at Circle Medical in San Francisco, said that Dry January isn’t a “detox,” but rather provides “feedback” from the body.
“It gives the body time to show people how it feels without alcohol. For many, that insight alone changes their relationship with drinking,” she said. “The biggest surprise isn’t what people give up, it’s how much better they feel.”
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The doctor confirmed that the first few days of not drinking may feel harder than expected, sometimes causing restlessness, cravings or disrupted sleep, but Dry January can ultimately change drinking habits for the remainder of the year.
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After a full year without alcohol, Chiang noted that health improvements are more profound. “We see sustained improvements in blood pressure, liver function and inflammation,” she said. “Those changes directly affect long-term heart disease and stroke risk.”
The risks of ‘all or nothing’
Some experts warn that adopting the Dry January trend could strengthen the urge to drink more in the other months, noting that some drinkers may find more success by slowly consuming fewer drinks per week.
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Thomas Stopka, Ph.D., an epidemiologist and professor in the public health and community medicine department at Tufts University School of Medicine in Massachusetts, shared in a Futurity report that for some people, “damp January” may be more suitable.
One expert warned that not all drinkers should quit “cold turkey,” as it could lead to severe withdrawals. (iStock)
“Dry January is well-intentioned, and it may work really well for the people who can stick to it, maybe even beyond January,” he said. “Other people may be more inclined to cut down on alcohol consumption rather than quit drinking completely for the month.”
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Stopka noted that successful harm-reduction approaches “aim to be judgment free.”
“Substance use disorder is a disease,” he said. “It takes time to treat the disease and to stay connected to the continuum of care — from prevention to treatment initiation to sustained therapy, whether through medication, self-help, or individual therapy or group support.”
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Those struggling with signs of alcohol use disorder should consult a medical professional for personalized guidance.
Fox News Digital reached out to several alcohol industry associations requesting comment.
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