Health
When a Couple’s Drinking Habits Diverge
Casey and Mike Davidson always enjoyed drinking together.
The couple, both 49, met after college while working as consultants at the same firm. Romance blossomed over work happy hours, then time spent lingering over a bottle of wine on long dates.
In their mid-20s, the pair moved to Seattle and made a group of friends who were always up for a drink. Afternoons were for hiking, kayaking and sipping beers on Lake Union; evenings were for rollicking, boozy dinner parties.
But by their 30s, their drinking habits diverged. Ms. Davidson drank a bottle of wine by herself most nights, and felt increasingly uneasy about it, while Mr. Davidson settled into life as a self-described “single-beer-a-night drinker.”
“I was really defensive about my drinking,” Ms. Davidson said, adding, “I didn’t want him watching me every time I poured a third glass of wine.”
Like the Davidsons, many couples have had to grapple with the role alcohol plays in their partnership — even if neither party drinks to the point where it causes clear, consistent problems at home, or takes an obvious toll on their health. Their relationship may still receive a shock when one partner decides to cut back or quit altogether.
“It can drive a wedge between people in terms of how they socialize, how they relax and unwind, their bedroom activities,” said Ruby Warrington, the author of “Sober Curious.” “It can be really uncomfortable.”
We asked couples, and experts on substance use, how to navigate changing tolerances for drinking within a relationship.
Finding New Pathways for Connection
Ms. Davidson, who now lives in Redmond, Wash., never hit the kind of dramatic rock bottom people tend to associate with heavy drinking, but at 40 she quit for good, and now works as a sobriety coach.
She slept better and felt less anxious and foggy, but she also worried that her newfound sobriety might hurt her marriage. “It was scary for me to stop drinking, because I wondered how we would connect,” she said.
Research on alcohol and marital happiness suggests that couples who abstain and couples who drink heavily together tend to report comparable levels of relationship satisfaction.
But problems can arise when one partner drinks regularly and the other doesn’t, said Kenneth Leonard, director of the University at Buffalo’s Clinical and Research Institute on Addictions, who has studied the topic for decades. That lopsided dynamic can lead to relationship dissatisfaction and increased chances of divorce.
The reasons for that are likely to be complex, he said, though at a simple level, couples often drink to unwind and connect, and losing that may come with some cost initially. People often do not realize how ingrained alcohol is in their relationships, experts said, even if neither party has a substance use problem.
Julie Kraft, a licensed marriage and family therapist and co-author of “The Mindfulness Workbook for Addiction,” said a major upside of the “sober curious movement” and abstinence challenges like Dry January is that they offer opportunities for self-reflection.
“Am I using alcohol for stress relief?” she said. “Am I using it to feel more connected to my partner? Am I using it to avoid my partner?” One of the first things she discusses with couples looking to make changes is to brainstorm ways they might fill those spaces or needs.
The Davidsons found connection points that didn’t involve alcohol, like going to see live music on Saturday nights at a local cafe, browsing bookstores together and going to the movies.
Arthur Tindsley, 41, from Oxfordshire, England, also feared that sobriety would change his marriage. He grew up steeped in British pub culture, but in recent years, he and his wife have both looked critically at their drinking habits, going through long periods of abstinence.
Sitting down in a nice restaurant together and sharing a bottle of wine used to be one of his most cherished activities. “All of those entrenched, habitual ways that we are partners together have had to change, or are in a process of changing,” he said.
Their go-to date night now? “It’s going to sound really boring,” he said, “but we go on a walk.”
Connecting With Your ‘Why’
When working with couples in which one or both partners wants to moderate or stop drinking, Laura Heck, a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Bend, Ore., emphasizes the importance of each individual understanding their own reasons for making the change.
“Each person has to connect with their own ‘why’” Ms. Heck said, adding, “I never want one person to lean into another person’s goal and just tack it on.” She offered her own relationship as an example: Her husband stopped drinking years ago because of a heart condition. Lately, Ms. Heck has been abstaining as well, but not because of him. She simply wants to better understand the ways in which drinking has become a habit for her — and to improve her marathon times.
Experts also emphasize that partners cannot force each other to change.
“One thing we remind everyone is that their journey is their own,” said Andrea Pain, executive director of Moderation Management, a nonprofit that runs peer support groups for those who want to cut back on their drinking. “You can’t expect anyone to change what they’re doing because you’ve set this new intention for yourself.”
The Davidsons acknowledge that they are lucky. Their marriage was fundamentally sound before Ms. Davidson quit drinking, she said, and Mr. Davidson never felt threatened by her decision, nor did he attempt to derail her efforts, something which she has seen happen among her coaching clients.
The pair have found their rhythm: Mr. Davidson continues to drink in moderation, Ms. Davidson remains sober. “The way I think about it is: If I decided to become a vegetarian, that doesn’t mean Mike has to be a vegetarian too,” she said. “But he certainly wouldn’t take me to a steakhouse.”
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No sex for the win? This was the advice given to this year’s NBA champions.
New York Knicks owner James Dolan addressed the now-champs as they headed into the playoffs in April 2026, acknowledging their high potential to eventually win the championship.
“I don’t know if you understand what it would mean for you to win a championship this year … It would be life-changing,” he said. “It will stick with you the rest of your lives, and if you don’t win, you’ll be thinking about it the rest of your lives.”
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As Dolan’s inspirational speech to the team went on, he explained how the next 10 weeks would require each player to make sacrifices – watching their diets, getting proper sleep and perhaps even abstaining from sex.
“You need sacrifice and you need to eliminate all the distractions around you,” he said.
Jalen Brunson of the New York Knicks celebrates with the Bill Russell NBA Finals Most Valuable Player Award trophy and Knicks owner James Dolan after defeating the San Antonio Spurs in Game Five of the 2026 NBA Finals at Frost Bank Center in San Antonio, Texas, on June 13, 2026. (Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)
“I had this idea that maybe you should give up sex for the next 10 weeks,” the owner said. “You don’t have to give up sex for the next 10 weeks – but, like the Spartans … They denied themselves, so that they can have an edge. Get the edge.”
This received a few snickers from the team, and Dolan responded, “Don’t tell [your wives and girlfriends] you’re not going to have sex and don’t tell them it was my idea. But let them know what this is going to be like … and how they’re going to have to sacrifice, too.”
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Dr. Anna Elton, licensed marriage and family therapist and clinical sexologist in Massachusetts, confirmed that this belief has been around for centuries, dating back to the ancients Spartans and early Olympic competitors.
Avoiding sex can preserve energy, increase aggression and sharpen focus, according to Elton.
The theory behind abstaining from sex for better athletic performance supports that it can preserve energy, increase aggression and sharpen focus. (iStock)
But modern research has found little evidence that consensual sexual activity negatively impacts strength, endurance, reaction time or athletic performance when it occurs at least 10 hours before competition, the doctor countered.
However, “activity very close to competition may affect recovery measures,” she added. What may be more important, according to Elton, is the psychological value of abstinence.
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“Choosing to abstain can reinforce discipline and total commitment to a larger goal,” she said. “In those cases, the advantage may come more from mindset and focus than from any physical effect.”
“Whether the sacrifice is alcohol, social activities, favorite foods or sex, the message is often the same: ‘We are all in.’”
New York Knicks guard Jalen Brunson celebrates with teammates after the Knicks defeated the San Antonio Spurs in game five of the 2026 NBA Finals at Frost Bank Center in San Antonio, Texas, on June 13, 2026. (Geoff Burke/Imagn Images)
The science of abstinence
This discussion has historically focused on men, which Elton said is often based on “misconceptions about testosterone and energy depletion.”
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“Research has not demonstrated that normal sexual activity causes a meaningful decline in athletic performance, and concerns about testosterone depletion have not been consistently supported by the evidence,” she said.
“For women, sexual activity may have additional benefits related to stress reduction, emotional regulation and relationship satisfaction.”
Abstaining from sex for athletic performance may create a sense of discipline, minimize distractions, maintain focus on training and reinforce a team culture centered on sacrifice and commitment, experts say. (iStock)
In a separate interview with Fox News Digital, Dr. Anthony Puopolo, a men’s health expert and lead medical provider for RexMD, echoed Elton’s assessment that research largely does not support abstinence as a performance enhancer.
This is despite a small amount of evidence that suggests engaging in sexual activity within two hours of competition could pose a risk to cardiovascular recovery.
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“Unfortunately, nearly all studies (99%) have been conducted in males aged 20 to 40, so there is virtually no data on female athletes, older athletes or diverse populations,” said the Puerto Rico-based expert. “We know what to tell the Knicks, but we are not sure what to recommend for the New York Liberty.”
Importance of connection
Elton said abstinence may still offer psychological benefits for some competitors. “For some athletes, it can become part of a pre-competition ritual that enhances confidence,” she told Fox News Digital.
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Some other potential benefits of sexual activity include stress reduction, improved sleep, mood enhancement, emotional connection with a partner and relief from performance-related tension.
“Strong, supportive relationships are associated with better psychological resilience, which can be valuable during high-pressure competitions,” Elton said.
“One of the most overlooked performance advantages may be having a supportive relationship waiting at home,” a doctor said. (iStock)
“Ultimately, there is no universal rule,” she went on. “What helps one athlete perform at their best may not help another.”
Elton stressed that sleep, recovery, nutrition, stress management and support from loved ones are universal performance boosters.
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“Athletes devote tremendous attention to training their bodies, while overlooking the importance of their personal relationships,” she cautioned. “A supportive partner can be one of the greatest assets during a demanding season.”
“If competition requires temporary sacrifices, make those decisions together and keep communication open.”
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Eliminating sugar from your diet may seem like the key to healthy eating, but research suggests it could have unintended effects on digestive health.
A study presented at ENDO 2026, the Endocrine Society’s annual meeting, suggests that a total lack of sucrose, or table sugar, may harm gut health and disrupt the body’s natural metabolism.
To explore how the total absence of dietary sugar impacts the body, researchers at the Dasman Diabetes Institute in Kuwait City conducted a 16-week study on two groups of mice. Both groups were placed on a low-fat diet, but with one critical difference.
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One group consumed a low-fat diet that included a standard amount of sucrose, while the other group ate a low-fat diet that was completely sugar-free, according to the study’s press release.
Throughout the trial, the scientists monitored a wide variety of physiological factors, including the animals’ weight, glucose tolerance, insulin sensitivity, hormone levels, internal inflammation and the specific composition of their gut bacteria.
A total lack of dietary sugar can cause imbalances in the gut bacteria and lead to signs of fatty liver disease, even without any weight gain, researchers said. (iStock)
The study outcome suggested that completely removing sugar caused several unexpected health problems.
“Completely removing sucrose from a low-fat diet may unexpectedly disrupt gut health and promote inflammation and metabolic dysfunction,” Rasheed Ahmad, principal scientist and head of the Immunology & Microbiology Department at the Dasman Diabetes Institute, said in the release.
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Even though the mice on the sugar-free diet did not gain any extra weight compared to the control group, their internal health indicators deteriorated.
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The animals that lacked sucrose developed an imbalance in their gut microbes and increased inflammation within the intestines and liver.
They also showed signs of poor glucose regulation, insulin resistance and cellular changes associated with fatty liver disease, according to the research.
Future dietary guidelines may shift away from strict, absolute sugar bans and instead focus on overall gut health through balanced nutrition. (iStock)
“The findings suggest that complete removal of sucrose from a low-fat diet may negatively affect gut microbiota and metabolic health,” Ahmad concluded.
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While the risks of high-sugar diets are well-established, the researchers noted that little attention has been given to the effects of completely eliminating sugar from low-fat meals.
Scientists say these new findings highlight that dietary carbohydrates play a valuable role in supporting balance between the immune system and the gut microbiome.
Completely cutting sucrose from a low-fat diet can unexpectedly trigger gut inflammation and disrupt the metabolism, experts say. (iStock)
Because this research was conducted on mice over a relatively short 16-week period, further clinical trials are necessary to determine whether a completely sugar-free diet causes the same gut and liver inflammation in humans.
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Additionally, the study focused specifically on removing sucrose from low-fat meals, meaning the results might not apply to people eliminating sugar while following higher-fat or ketogenic eating plans, the researchers noted.
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The team believes that future dietary guidelines may shift away from strict, absolute sugar restrictions and instead place a greater emphasis on maintaining a diverse, healthy population of gut bacteria through balanced nutrition.
“In the long term, these findings could help improve strategies for preventing and managing metabolic disorders, fatty liver disease and chronic inflammatory conditions,” Ahmad said.
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