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How to have ‘the talk’ with aging parents about money

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How to have ‘the talk’ with aging parents about money

Listen and subscribe to Decoding Retirement on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you find your favorite podcasts.

Talking about money with one’s parents isn’t usually an appealing encounter — but as more millennials and Gen Zers find themselves with aging parents, these discussions are becoming increasingly important.

“The talk” about an aging parent’s finances and end-of-life plans can be the key to ensuring long-term generational wealth — especially since most wealth doesn’t last longer than three generations, according to Dr. Lazetta Braxton, founder of Lazetta & Associates and the Real Wealth Coterie.

“When you don’t have the benefit of having substantial wealth that is taking care of multiple generations … you have to disclose about where everybody is, because if you don’t know, then the risk of the unknown can be catastrophic,” Braxton explained on Yahoo Finance’s Decoding Retirement podcast (see video above or listen below).

Financial discussions have long been considered taboo, especially for older generations. That’s why younger generations often find themselves responsible for initiating these sensitive conversations.

Instead of approaching “the talk” as one tell-all discussion, Braxton encouraged people to think about it as a “series of conversations.”

“It’s not interrogating a parent,” Braxton said. “It’s giving them the opportunity to be proud of what they’ve done, even if they haven’t done all the things they really had desired to along the way.”

Sara Stein and Lee Stein, left, talk with Bob Millhauser as they wait for Abby Millhauser to join them for dinner in the Millhausers’ 940 sq. ft. accessory dwelling unit on April 19, 2024, in Raleigh, North Carolina. (Robert Willett/The News & Observer/Tribune News Service via Getty Images) · Raleigh News & Observer via Getty Images

For starters, she recommended that younger generations consider how uplifting the environment is before initiating a conversation with their parents.

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Often, details about an elder’s power of attorney for healthcare and assets aren’t discussed until a major life event or crisis occurs, which can make financial discussions strenuous.

Instead, it’s best to start these conversations with lower stakes, Braxton said. She warned that approaching the discussion during a high-stress time “could reset the conversation for decades.”

It also may be helpful to have a third party, such as a financial planner, present when discussing more gritty details, as they can provide the facts and act as a neutral player in the conversation, Braxton said. Having a professional be a part of some of these conversations can also help define and outline some of the more confusing terms a person may not know going into the conversation.

“It’s so important in terms of building relationships … [to] know the trigger points and the glimmer points,” Braxton explained. “The trigger points … [shut] a family member down and the glimmer points … [give] them comfort and trust to say it is safe to talk about these conversations.”

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Will Trump’s US$200 Billion MBS Purchase Directive Reshape Federal National Mortgage Association’s (FNMA) Core Narrative?

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Will Trump’s US0 Billion MBS Purchase Directive Reshape Federal National Mortgage Association’s (FNMA) Core Narrative?
In early January 2026, President Donald Trump directed government representatives, widely understood to include Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, to purchase US$200 billion in mortgage-backed securities to push mortgage rates and monthly payments lower. Beyond its housing affordability goal, the move highlights how heavily the administration is leaning on government-sponsored enterprises like Fannie Mae to influence credit conditions and the mortgage market’s structure. With this large-scale…
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Holyoke City Council sends finance overhaul plan to committee for review

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Holyoke City Council sends finance overhaul plan to committee for review

HOLYOKE — The City Council has advanced plans to create a finance and administration department, voting to send proposed changes to a subcommittee for further review.

The move follows guidance from the state Division of Local Services aimed at strengthening the city’s internal cash controls, defining clear lines of accountability, and making sure staff have the appropriate education and skill level for their financial roles.

On Tuesday, Councilor Meg Magrath-Smith, who filed the order, said the council needed to change some wording about qualifications based on advice from the human resources department before sending it to the ordinance committee for review.

The committee will discuss and vote on the matter before it can head back to the full City Council for a vote. It meets next Tuesday. The next council meeting is scheduled for Jan. 20.

On Monday, Mayor Joshua Garcia said in his inaugural address that he plans to continue advancing his Municipal Finance Modernization Act.

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Last spring, Garcia introduced two budget plans: one showing the current $180 million cost of running the city, and another projecting savings if Holyoke adopted the finance act.

Key proposed changes include realigning departments to meet modern needs, renaming positions and reassigning duties, fixing problems found in decades of audits, and using technology to improve workflow and service.

Garcia said the plan aims to also make government more efficient and accountable by boosting oversight of the mayor and finance departments, requiring audits of all city functions, enforcing penalties for policy violations, and adding fraud protections with stronger reporting.

Other steps included changing the city treasurer from an elected to an appointed position, a measure approved in a special election last January.

Additionally, the city would adopt a financial management policies manual, create a consolidated Finance Department and hire a chief administrative and financial officer to handle forecasting, capital planning and informed decision-making.

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Garcia said that the state has suggested creating the CAFO position for almost 20 years and called on the City Council to pass the reform before the end of this fiscal year, so that it can be in place by July 1.

In a previous interview, City Council President Tessa Murphy-Romboletti said nine votes were needed to adopt the financial reform.

She also said past problems stemmed from a lack of proper systems and checks, an issue the city has dealt with since the 1970s.

The mayor would choose this officer, and the City Council will approve the appointment, she said.

In October, the City Council narrowly rejected the finance act in an 8-5 vote.

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Supporters ― Michael Sullivan, Israel Rivera, Jenny Rivera, Murphy-Romboletti, Anderson Burgos, former Councilor Kocayne Givner, Patti Devine and Magrath-Smith ― said the city needs modernization and greater transparency.

Opponents ― Howard Greaney Jr., Linda Vacon, former Councilors David Bartley, Kevin Jourdain and Carmen Ocasio — said a qualified treasurer should be appointed first.

Vacon said then the treasurer’s office was “a mess,” and that the city should “fix” one department before “mixing it with another.”

The City Council also clashed over fixes, as the state stopped sending millions in monthly aid because the city hadn’t finished basic financial paperwork for three years.

The main problem came from delays in financial reports from the treasurer’s office.

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Holyoke had a history of late filings. For six of the past eight years, the city delayed its required annual financial report, and five times in the past, the state withheld aid.

Council disputes over job descriptions, salaries and reforms also stalled progress.

In November, millions in state aid began flowing back to Holyoke after the city made some progress in closing out its books.

The state had withheld nearly $29 million for four months but even with aid restored, Holyoke still faces big financial problems, the Division of Local Services said.

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Military Troops and Retirees: Here’s the First Financial Step to Take in 2026

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Military Troops and Retirees: Here’s the First Financial Step to Take in 2026

Editor’s note: This is the fourth installment of New Year, New You, a weeklong look at your financial health headed into 2026. 

You get your W-2 in January and realize you either owe thousands in taxes or get a massive refund. Both mean your withholding was wrong all year.

Most service members set their tax withholding once during in-processing and never look at it again. Life changes. You get married, have kids, buy a house or pick up a second job. Your tax situation changes, but your withholding stays the same.

Adjusting your withholding takes five minutes and can save you from owing the IRS or giving the government an interest-free loan all year.

Use the IRS Tax Withholding Estimator First

Before changing anything, run your numbers through the IRS Tax Withholding Estimator at www.irs.gov/individuals/tax-withholding-estimator. The calculator asks about your filing status, income, current withholding, deductions and credits. It tells you whether you need to adjust.

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The calculator considers multiple jobs, spouse income and other factors that affect your tax bill. Running it takes about 10 minutes and prevents you from withholding too much or too little.

Read More: The Cost of Skipping Sick Call: How Active-Duty Service Members Can Protect Future VA Claims

Changing Withholding in myPay (Most Services)

Army, Navy, Air Force, Space Force and Marine Corps members use myPay at mypay.dfas.mil. Log in and click Federal Withholding. Click the yellow pencil icon to edit.

The page lets you enter information about multiple jobs, change dependents, add additional income, make deductions or withhold extra tax. You can see when the changes take effect on the blue bar at the top of the page.

Changes typically show up on your next pay statement. If you make changes early in the month, they might appear on your mid-month paycheck. If you make them later, expect them on the end-of-month check.

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State tax withholding works differently. DFAS can only withhold for states with signed agreements. Changes require submitting DD Form 2866 through myPay or by mail. Not all states allow DFAS to withhold state tax.

Changing Withholding in Direct Access (Coast Guard)

Coast Guard members use Direct Access at hcm.direct-access.uscg.mil. The system processes changes the same way as myPay. Log in, navigate to tax withholding and update your information.

Coast Guard members can also submit written requests using IRS Form W-4. Mail completed forms to the Pay and Personnel Center in Topeka, Kansas, or submit them through your Personnel and Administration office.

Read More: Here’s Why January Is the Best Time to File Your VA Disability Claim

When to Adjust Withholding

Check your withholding when major life events happen. Marriage or divorce changes your filing status. Having kids adds dependents. Buying a house affects deductions. A spouse starting or stopping work changes household income.

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Military-specific events matter, too. Deploying to a combat zone makes some pay tax-free. PCS moves change state tax situations. Separation from service means losing military income but potentially gaining civilian income.

Check at the start of each year, even if your circumstances seemingly stayed the same. Tax laws change. Brackets adjust for inflation. Your situation might be different even if it seems the same.

The Balance

Withholding too little means owing taxes in April plus potential penalties. Withholding too much means getting a refund but losing access to that money all year.

Some people like big refunds and treat it like forced savings. Others would rather have the money in each paycheck to pay bills, invest or set aside in normal savings.

Neither approach is wrong. What matters is that your withholding matches your tax situation and your preference for how you receive your money.

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Run the estimator. Adjust your withholding. Check it annually. This simple process prevents tax surprises.

Previously In This series:

Part 1: 2026 Guide to Pay and Allowances for Military Service Members, Veterans and Retirees

Part 2: Understanding All the Deductions on Your 2026 Military Leave and Earnings Statements

Part 3: Should You Let the Military Set Aside Allotments from Your Pay?

Part 4: This Is the Best Thing to Do With Your 2026 Military Pay Raise

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Stay on Top of Your Veteran Benefits

Military benefits are always changing. Keep up with everything from pay to health care by subscribing to Military.com, and get access to up-to-date pay charts and more with all latest benefits delivered straight to your inbox.

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