A Wes Anderson film is always an uphill battle for me. I put that out in front here so you can understand where I’m coming from in this review. While I think his sensibilities lend quite nicely to animation, and I’ve really enjoyed both Fantastic Mr. Fox and Isle of Dogs, Anderson in live action is very much a mixed bag. I always keep an open mind, but his batting average with me is quite low. For every movie that works on me, like The Royal Tenenbaums or The Grand Budapest Hotel, there’s the rest, which leave me just shrugging my shoulders. Recently, Anderson made one film I didn’t care for at all in The French Dispatch (reviewed here), as well as one that nearly won me over in Asteroid City (reviewed here). Now, with The Phoenician Scheme, I was wondering whether he’d get me over the edge and back on his side, or fall back on the things that annoy me. Unfortunately, while there’s some solid humor on display, as well as the normal pristine visuals, it once again feels like watching him play with a diorama. I felt nothing, which means the flick has failed.
The Phoenician Scheme starts with a little bit of novelty from Anderson, which I appreciated, but before long, it’s the same old story. By the end, there’s a little diorama on the screen, which I don’t think is meant as a joke. As always, I can appreciate the singularity of his vision, as well as understand why it works on some folks, while getting absolutely zilch out of the experience. Aside from a few laughs and appreciation of craft, I sit stone-faced, which is a real shame.

Ruthless and wealthy international businessman Zsa-zsa Korda (Benicio del Toro) seems to be pulling the world’s strings however he pleases. He also repeated survives assassination attempts, suggesting that not everyone is thrilled with how he’s in such control. After one such attempt, he decides that he wants an heir, not just to his company, but to his power as well. While he was married three times and has nine young sons living in a dorm near his estate, he opts for his daughter Liesl (Mia Threapleton), who he sent to a convent as a young girl. Liesl is about to become a nun and has no use for any of this, least of all her father, suspecting him of murdering her mother, but the prospect of solving that mystery, perhaps gaining vengeance in the process, is too good to pass up. So, father and daughter are reunited, with the children’s tutor Bjorn (Michael Cera), who immediately has fallen in love with Liesl, along for the ride.
Zsa-zsa’s competitors have conspired against him, raising the price of an item that’s created a massive financial gap, so the trio must travel to each party in order to negotiate better terms, as well as other methods for filling in the gap. While that’s going on, some mild father and daughter bonding results. Of course, the world is filled with others, from the competition (played by Bryan Cranston and Tom Hanks, to name two), to family (Benedict Cumberbatch), to the leader of a band of radicals in Sergio (Richard Ayoade) who want a revolution. It all builds and builds, but where it ends up will potentially leave you simply shrugging, like I did.

Benicio del Toro does some very nice work here, as does Michael Cera and Mia Threapleton. They’re best in show, which is helpful considering they’re the three characters we spend the most time with. Watching del Toro get a showcase is admittedly a pleasure, while Threapleton has some definite acting chops. As for Cera, it’s wild that he and Anderson have not worked together yet, as he’s a strong fit for that style. In terms of the smaller roles/cameos, Jeffrey Wright steals his scene, cementing my theory that he should be the lead of an Anderson project one day. The aforementioned Richard Ayoade, Bryan Cranston, Benedict Cumberbatch, and Tom Hanks are all fine, though more or less just here because they enjoy Anderson. Supporting players here include stars like F. Murray Abraham, Riz Ahmed, Mathieu Amalric, Willem Dafoe, Hope Davis, Rupert Friend, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Scarlett Johansson, and Bill Murray, plus many more.
Wes Anderson directs a screenplay he wrote with frequent collaborator Roman Coppola, and while some of the surprising violence is pretty funny, the whole thing does feel a bit stale. The visuals from Bruno Delbonnel and the score by Alexandre Desplat are Anderson approved, so if you appreciate his work, you’ll like what they’re up to even more. The failing here, besides the general twee feeling that I get from Anderson, is that Anderson and Coppola clearly want you invested in the family story. Especially considering where it leaves off, the intent is undeniable. The thing is, it just never sucks you in. You’re kept at a distance, admiring the pretty images, but never really caring much about the machinations of the plot, which is wildly obtuse and overcomplicated, let alone the characters within.
The Phoenician Scheme left me cold, which is a shame considering its hopes to have an emotional core on display. All in all, this is Wes Anderson up to his old tricks. Whether that’s a promise or a threat is a matter of perspective. It’s clear where I fall on this, but your mileage may vary. If you’re a fan, prepare to enjoy some more of Anderson’s antics. If not, well…at least you know what to expect.
SCORE: ★★1/2