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Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny review: Epic send-off for everyone’s favourite explorer

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Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny review: Epic send-off for everyone’s favourite explorer

With his 81st birthday looming, we can probably assume that this is Harrison Ford’s final outing as the grouchy yet charismatic explorer. Lord knows we’ve had our fun.

Always a pleasure, rarely a chore, Ford has already had his say on what happens after he’s finished with the role: “I’m Indiana Jones. When I’m gone, he’s gone.” Only a fool would argue with that logic.

Some 15 years in the making, Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny isn’t so much a legacy sequel but instead a gargantuanly-budgeted victory lap. Think too much about the plot and your brain will collapse in on itself.

Ask yourself why, exactly, the world needed another Indy flick, and you’ll arrive at the same destination as last time: it didn’t.

But here we are, five films in, and here is Indy – still thriving, still globe-trotting, still getting into fist fights with rotten Nazis. Is that a bad thing? Absolutely not.

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We begin with a spot of technological wizardry. The year is 1944, and a young Indiana Jones (a digitally de-aged Ford) has again been captured by Germans.

Yep, the Nazis are always stealing priceless artefacts, and Indy is forever trying to get them back. It’s a familiar dance, and this time the all-important MacGuffin is a dial-like device called the Antikythera – which, if used properly, can locate fissures in time. A handy asset, then, and a slippery scientist named Jurgen Voller (Mads Mikkelsen) is keen to try it out.

Thankfully, Indy isn’t about to give up the prize and, after a spot of trouble aboard a high-speed train, our hero and his bookish accomplice (Toby Jones’s Basil Shaw) somehow escape with their heads – and the dial – intact.

Fast-forward 25 years and it seems the world has moved on and our old pal Indy is beginning to feel his age. Greyer, gloomier and a whole lot grumpier, Indy is living alone in New York City. His wife Marion (Karen Allen) has left and Indy is being forced to retire from his university teaching position.

His adventures are over, basically, but hope arrives in the form of Basil’s grown-up daughter Helena (Phoebe Waller-Bridge) who shows up out of the blue and starts asking questions about the dial.

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​Is this the beginning of Indy’s comeback quest? Maybe.

Alas, Helena hasn’t been all that honest about her intentions. Worse still, Voller – now a rocket scientist with Nasa – is back on the scene.

Voller and his team have just put a man on the moon, but that hardly matters. He’s still a bad egg and still obsessed with the dial.

Voller believes that, if he can just get his hands on the artefact, he can reverse time – and alter the course of history so the Nazis win World War II.

Obviously, Indy’s not too pleased about this plan. Guess what happens next?

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Indeed, Mangold’s film walks, talks and thrills like an old-school Indy caper.

The oily baddies scowl and smoke cigarettes in dark corners. The good guys have a punchline for every scenario, and the finale is positively bananas – but listen, that’s par for the course with these things.

It’s worth remembering that this beloved franchise started out as an excuse for George Lucas and Steven Spielberg to recreate the swashbuckling serials of their youth.

Neither of those filmmakers were involved in the writing or directing of this fifth and final instalment, but rest assured, Mangold (Logan, Le Mans ‘66) knows what he’s doing – he knows how these films are supposed to look and, indeed, sound.

One could argue that at this point in the tale, Indy has become something of his own tribute act. If that’s the case, then Dial of Destiny is, essentially, a greatest- hits package. The set-up is fun, the jokes work, and the action sequences do what they’re supposed to. Ford, meanwhile, brings warmth, vitality, gravitas and charm to a bumpy two-and-a-half-hour venture.

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Mikkelsen, too, makes for a worthy, memorable villain and Waller-Bridge is as sarky a sidekick as you’d expect.

It isn’t without its flaws. The de-ageing stuff is awkward and soulless – and poor Antonio Banderas is wasted in a thoughtless cameo as a spirited sailor.

What’s more, Mangold’s film isn’t quite the meditation on mortality that he’d promised.

But hey, it’s a lot better than Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. We’ll take that.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

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Movie Reviews

‘For Sale’ review: Fun horror comedy can’t quite close the deal

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‘For Sale’ review: Fun horror comedy can’t quite close the deal

For Sale is an interesting little comedy horror. Mason McGinness (Andrew Roth, The Wire) is a smarmy salesman who is not above cutting some corners to close the deal. When he pushes things too far, he finds himself out of a job and a home. He has a chance to right his life if he can sell a house with a sordid past and lots of unwanted guests.

The debate between practical effects and CGI is an ongoing one that will only end when there are no longer audiences old enough to have nostalgia for old school effects. Even though special effects are a relatively big part of For Sale, it does not offer much to that particular argument. Instead, it is an example of the effectiveness of simplicity.

For Sale is a haunted house movie, so there has to be ghosts, mysterious happenings, and strange sightings. While nothing is Savini-esque and the budget does not allow for massive computer generated spectacle, the film is great at using small moments to create maximum terror. There are some excellent jump scares and the use of shadows add to the biggest moments. When the specters who inhabit the house make their appearances, they have a cheesy look that works with the story being told.

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Charm may be the strongest thing about the film. Quirky music and characters are the biggest takeaway from For Sale. Roth is particularly good as the shady agent who will do anything to get his sale. He is in just about every scene and his personality ensures that anyone watching will not be bored of him. The plot is more about the development of his character than the actual scares.

For some, this may end up being an issue. For Sale skirts around the horror elements for the vast majority of the time. It is not until about an hour in that the story truly kicks in. Everything before is set up. This would be fine – and it is very well paced – except a tone is never established. It is not tense enough for horror fans, but also does not provide constant laughs. And when the terror finally does take center stage, things come to a screeching halt.

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The ending is also a little erratic. At first, it appears as if viewers will be getting a more family friendly ending complete with Mason learning a life lesson. This is before a dark turn that leads to a confusing finale that is sorta cute and sorta funny but incomplete more than anything else.

For Sale opens on digital platforms May 7

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Movie Reviews

‘Prom Dates’ Movie Review: A Somewhat Fun Coming-of-Age Comedy

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‘Prom Dates’ Movie Review: A Somewhat Fun Coming-of-Age Comedy

Released on Hulu (and Disney+) with little to no fanfare, Kim O. Nguyen’s Prom Dates has an immediate aura of familiarity to it. Notably plucking its core character arcs from Olivia Wilde’s Booksmart (and raunchy humor from Emma Seligman’s Bottoms, among others), it retreads a conventional story of two best friends, Jess (Antonia Gentry) and Hannah (High School Musical: The Musical: The Series’ Julia Lester), who have made a pact that their senior prom will be the greatest night of their lives. 

The two have dates for prom until Jess’ boyfriend, Luca (Jordan Buhat, with an incredible turn as the biggest douche of our time), cheats on her and gets caught. Meanwhile, Hannah desperately wants to come out as gay, but her friend Greg (Kenny Ridwan) promposes to her in front of the entire school, putting her in a precarious situation. Hannah has the hots for Angie (Terry Hu) but can’t muster up a casual conversation with her without choking on her gum and farting (one of the film’s least funny sequences), while Greg has rewired his entire life on being devoted to her.

This makes for some relatively funny banter, with Ridwan stealing the show during a key scene where he attempts to look for Hannah but meets her brother, Jacob (JT Neal), so dehydrated from crying that he chugs a large water bottle in one go. This type of physical comedy is classic but is always effective, especially when the actors know when to be ultra-expressive (and when to ultimately dial it down) when the scene warrants it. In that regard, Ridwan is the best part of the movie, always appearing in the most uncomfortable situations and stealing the spotlight away from Gentry and Lester, who are equally as good.

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Truth be told,the movie wouldn’t have worked if the chemistry between the two leads wasn’t solid. Thankfully, it’s far more than that, with Gentry and Lester portraying their friendship in an achingly sincere, relatable light that makes each uncomfortable situation far more entertaining than they should (I mean, sneezing blood on a stripteaser isn’t funny, but the way in which it’s executed is so surprising that it may bring chuckles out of you).

Gentry’s performance is far more grounded than Lester’s, but their different traits work quite well when paired together. Even if their personalities couldn’t be more different, they still find a way to connect with each other, leading to often absurd situations, which always end with the two finding ways to reconnect as they attempt (but miserably fail) to find new prom dates.

It’s a shame that the bulk of the film re-treads character arcs and a storyline we’ve all seen before, ultimately making the viewing experience a tad uneven. That’s not saying there aren’t any strong moments; there are plenty of hilarious situations that deftly use physical humor in a way that feels fresh and original (the frat boy concussion scene is a perfect example of subverting initial expectations the scene immediately sets up), but there are also plenty of situations that fall flat on their face.

One of them sees Hannah throw up a grand total of four times on a fountain as a couple celebrates their two-year wedding anniversary (with She-Hulk: Attorney at Law’s Patty Guggenheim appearing in a small role). The confrontation between the couple is funny, but what comes before isn’t, and it continues for a long time before the scene morphs into something quasi-interesting.

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The movie then jumps to its ending, which, in all honesty, has highs and lows. The biggest high involves Lester singing a rendition of Frank Sinatra’s L.O.V.E. while the lows occur as Nguyen and writer D.J. Mausner go for some of the biggest and most uneventful prom movie clichés in the book, attempting to nicely tie everything together in a bow instead of going beyond what the initial character arcs introduced. Still, Prom Dates is a relatively inoffensive movie that cements both Gentry and Lester as terrific up-and-coming talents, and acts as a reminder that, if you haven’t seen both Ginny & Georgia and High School Musical: The Musical: The Series, you should definitely get on that train right now.

Prom Dates is now available to stream on Hulu in the United States and on Disney+ internationally.

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Founders Day – Review | Political Slasher Movie | Heaven of Horror

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Founders Day – Review | Political Slasher Movie | Heaven of Horror

Oh FFS, this again?! *spoilers will occur in this segment*

Yes, I have to point out a few of my main issues, so you will know to steer clear of Founding Fathers if you have the same pet peeves. That’s why the below will include spoilers, so beware of those in the below.

I did find myself almost yelling at the screen, which – to the film’s credit – means it’s hitting some spots. Not anything good, unfortunately, as I was going “Oh, for f***’s sake, this again?!” at the screen.

Not only is the first victim of the slasher a woman. And not only is she a lesbian (or queer) woman. She also just kissed her girlfriend, professed her love for her girlfriend, and asked her to stay. That is the stereotypical brutal trope textbook moment for when a lesbian (or queer woman) will get killed.

From The 100 to The Purge series and The Walking Dead, it happens constantly. I do not need this as a mystery element in my horror comedy slasher as well.

However, with Founder’s Day, it gets a bit worse. I realized we never actually saw the queer woman die. And another rule of horror is that someone is never truly dead unless you see them die. So, instead of this being another “Bury your gays” moment, it was the other terrible trope: The psychopath lesbian predator!

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I am grossly oversimplifying, but right now LGBTQ series are (once again) getting canceled by the dozen, so I don’t need this crap in my horror comedies as well. You could just as easily have chosen any white man. One obvious character comes to mind, which you’ll understand if you watch the movie.

But no, it just had to be the queer female. Which means I definitely had to get miffed (to put it very mildly) about it.

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