Culture

The White Sox — 81 games under .500! — are piling up mind-blowing numbers for the ages

Published

1 year ago

September 13, 2024

The White Sox — 81 games under .500! — are piling up mind-blowing numbers for the ages

Editor’s note: This is a Weird and Wild short. To read this week’s full Weird and Wild column, go here.

For weeks now, months to be honest, we’ve been spending way too much valuable time making all-important comparisons between the 2024 White Sox and Casey Stengel’s legendarily hapless 1962 Mets. But now we know: That was actually the wrong comp.

These White Sox (current record: 33-114) would need a miracle to out-win those ’62 Mets (40-120). So it’s time to do something I never thought would happen: It’s time to turn our attention to those even more legendary 1899 Cleveland Spiders (attractive final record: 20-134).

I came to that mind-blowing realization Thursday morning, when the reality of this nutty little number hit home:

81 Games under .500!!!

As a longtime chronicler of everything Weird and Wild, I’ve seen a lot of stuff. But I thought to myself as I stared at the standings: Have I ever seen THAT? Have I ever seen any team that fell 81 freaking games under .500?

Here’s the truth: Nope. I. Have. Not. And neither have you, unless you’re a spritely 108 years old. And even if you are indeed 108 years old, your memory of previous 81-under-.500 history might be a little hazy. So allow me to fill you in.

The ’62 Mets? Sorry. Never got to 81 under.

The 2003 Tigers? Sorry. They never made it either.

Both of those teams got to 80 under. But it takes a truly special group to sink below 80 games under the sea. So let’s salute these White Sox because they’re one of those extraordinary teams that took a wrong turn and just kept going.

And who are those extraordinary teams? Here they come — the only teams in American League/National League/19th-century American Association history that ever got to 81 under or worse (in chronological order):

Whitey Witt’s 1916 A’s — Fell to 81 under at 33-114, just like these White Sox, except it wasn’t until Sept. 27 and they had only six games left in the season … but they somehow won three of them! (Final record: 36-117.)

Harry Colliflower’s 1899 Spiders — There’s a reason the Spiders are the poster boys for single-season futility, you know. They plummeted to 81 under on Aug. 31 (at 19-100). They still had 35 games to play … and they lost 34 of them! (Final record: 20-134.)

Kirtley Baker’s 1890 Alleghenys — Once upon a time, before the Spiders, these guys were the standard for 19th-century ineptitude. They descended to 81 under on Sept. 16 (at 21-102). They had 14 games remaining … and won two! (Final record: 23-113, plus two ties.)

Toad Ramsey’s 1889 Colonels — The worst team in the American Association’s glorious history, the Colonels tumbled to 81 under at 26-107. Fortunately, it was Oct. 8, so they had only five games left … and won one! (Final record: 27-111.)

And that’s the whole 81-Under Club. But if you were paying attention (in case we spring an end-of-season 2024 White Sox quiz on you), you might have noticed something. Only once, in nearly a century and a half of major-league history, had any team awakened this early in September and found itself 81 games under .500 or worse. And it was … those 1899 Spiders, because of course it was!

Yet now the Spiders have company, in these 2024 White Sox? What a time to be alive.

GO DEEPER

White Sox might break record for losses. How should the 1962 Mets feel about it?

Wednesday’s loss to the Guardians dropped the White Sox to 1-27 in their past 28 games at home. (Kamil Krzaczynski / Imagn Images)

But meanwhile, in other important White Sox news …

They can’t go home again! Since the second game of their July 10 doubleheader with Minnesota, the White Sox are 1-27 when they play baseball in their home park. One and 27! According to Baseball Reference, only one other team in the modern era has ever had a 1-27 stretch at home (or worse). And it was those 1916 A’s (also 1-27, in a messy 28-game span in July and August).

So that means, just since that game against the Twins on July 10, nine teams have more wins at Guaranteed Rate Field than the team that plays half its season on that field. There would be more teams, of course, but only nine have been allowed to play there by the schedule-makers of America.

Second to none! This seems impossible, but the White Sox are now 6-43 in the second half. Six and 43! Does this seem bad? How about historically bad. Since the invention of All-Star breaks, the fewest games any team has won in the second half of a non-strike season is 15, by Orie Arntzen’s 1943 A’s (15-61). I’m starting to think the White Sox aren’t going to catch them.

Late starters! In a related development, White Sox starters are now 2-30 in the second half. Two and 30! The record for the worst second-half winning percentage by any rotation is .167 (7-35), by Paolo Espino’s 2022 Nationals. I’m starting to think the White Sox might not catch that group, either.

No one will save you! On those sporadic occasions when the White Sox take a lead, they’ve been known to call on their bullpen to protect it. Here’s how that’s gone:

When they bring in their relievers in save situations, their bullpen’s record is now 3-17. Three and 17! Plus a 7.79 ERA, 31 blown saves and (somehow) more home runs allowed (26) than saves converted (18).

I rumbled through the Baseball Reference files for way too long. How many other teams could I find, since the dawn of the modern save rule in 1969, with more gopherballs than saves in those situations? That would be none!

I could keep going here for hours. But did you know …

• This White Sox team hasn’t started a pitcher with a winning record in over a month? Not even some opener who was 1-0. It’s 36 games in a row now, the fourth-longest streak in franchise history.

• The White Sox have now lost their first game of every month – April, May, June, July, August and September? Can’t beat that kind of consistency.

• It’s Sept. 13 … and the White Sox have won 33 games! You know when the Guardians won their 33rd game? How about May 22! That’s three and a half freaking months (and 111 days) ago!

• And finally, is it too late to wish a happy 105th birthday to Loyola of Chicago icon Sister Jean? As a friend of mine reminded me on Sister Jean’s birthday last month, she’s been gracing our planet for more than a century now. And she has seen the White Sox win a postseason series in exactly one of those 105 years (2005, obviously). I’m starting to think the chances of her seeing another series win this October aren’t good.

GO DEEPER

Weird & Wild MLB highlights of the month: Game of the Year, a first-inning first, and more

GO DEEPER

Loyalty, history and $5 beers: Why fans still come out to see the Chicago White Sox

GO DEEPER

White Sox watch: Rally falls short in 15th consecutive home loss

(Top photo of Luis Robert Jr.: Matt Krohn / Associated Press)

Related Topics:chicago white sox Featured MLB

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Culture

Can You Identify the Literary Names and Titles Adopted by These TV Shows and Musicians?

Published

4 days ago

October 20, 2025

Press Room

Can You Identify the Literary Names and Titles Adopted by These TV Shows and Musicians?

Welcome to Lit Trivia, the Book Review’s regular quiz about books, authors and literary culture. This week’s challenge celebrates allusions to characters and plots from classic novels found in music and television. In the five multiple-choice questions below, tap or click on the answer you think is correct. After the last question, you’ll find links to the books.

Culture

What’s So Great About ‘Slow Horses’? This Scene Says It All.

Published

7 days ago

October 17, 2025

Press Room

What’s So Great About ‘Slow Horses’? This Scene Says It All.

A couple dozen pages into “Clown Town,” Mick Herron’s latest novel, two veteran spies share a bench in London. They’re Jackson Lamb and Diana Taverner, notorious fictional fixtures of MI5, the British intelligence service. Fans of “Slow Horses,” the Apple TV series adapted from Herron’s earlier Slough House books, will recognize the pair as the characters played with brisk professionalism and callused gravitas by Kristin Scott Thomas and Gary Oldman.

Those incomparable actors are a big part of the show’s appeal, but the Britain they inhabit — weary, cynical, clinging to the tattered scraps of ancient imperial glory — is built out of Herron’s witty, corkscrew sentences.

And this bench, like others where Lamb and Taverner meet with some regularity on both screen and page, is hardly an incidental bit of urban furniture. It holds not only their aging bureaucratic bums, but also a heavy load of literary and sociological significance.

An ambient sarcasm hangs in the foul air around his characters. Nearly every word is freighted with a mockery that is indistinguishable from judgment. Herron’s prose bristles with the kind of active, restless grudge against the world that is the sure sign of a moralist.

While spies, bureaucrats and especially politicians come in for comic scolding, the real target of his satire is an administrative regime that will be familiar to many readers and viewers who have never cracked a code or aimed a gun. In interviews, Herron has often noted that unlike John le Carré, to whom he is often compared, he has had no first-hand experience of espionage. But he has spent enough time toiling in offices to understand the absurdity — the banality, the cruelty, the cringeiness — of modern organizational life.

“Slow Horses” is a workplace comedy, and Diana and Jackson — nightmare colleagues and bosses from hell — are its flawed, indispensable heroes. Their nastiness to each other and everyone else is a reflection of their circumstances, but also a form of protest against the ethical rottenness of the system they serve.

The gimlet-eyed Diana, managing up from a precarious perch high in the organization, must contend with the cretinous crème de la crème of the British establishment. The epically flatulent Jackson, a career reprobate exiled to a marginal post far from the center of power, manages down, wrangling MI5’s designated misfits, the Slow Horses who give the series its name. Those poor spies need to be protected from external savagery, internal treachery and their own dubious instincts.

Jackson and Diana seem to share a cynical, self-serving outlook, but what really unites them is that they care enough about the job to do it right. More than that: They may be the last people in London who believe in decency, honor and fair play, embodiments of the humanist sentiment that lurks just below the busy, satirical surface of Herron’s novels. Not that they would ever admit as much — especially not to each other, planted on a public bench, where anyone could be spying on them.

Culture

Can You Identify the European Locations in These Thrillers and Crime Novels?

Published

1 week ago

October 14, 2025

Press Room

Can You Identify the European Locations in These Thrillers and Crime Novels?

A strong sense of place can deeply influence a story, and in some cases, the setting can even feel like a character itself. This week’s literary geography quiz highlights the locations of thrillers and crime novels set around Europe. (Even if you aren’t familiar with the book, most questions offer an additional hint about the location.) To play, just make your selection in the multiple-choice list and the correct answer will be revealed. At the end of the quiz, you’ll find links to the books if you’d like to do further reading.