Culture
The insular relationships that protected Shohei Ohtani — until they didn't
Someone always wanted something from Shohei Ohtani. An autographed baseball. A special meeting on the field. But often during his time with the Angels, Ohtani could not be bothered. His regimen as a two-way player left him with limited time. His preference was to focus only on baseball.
Virtually every request needed to go through Ohtani’s agent, Nez Balelo of CAA. Many of them were denied. But was it Ohtani actually balking? Was his interpreter, Ippei Mizuhara, interceding? Or was it Balelo making the call? The three formed such a united front, such a protective cocoon, the Angels could not always tell.
One Angels official likened Team Ohtani to “a well-oiled machine,” efficient and impenetrable.
Or so people thought.
The insular relationship among Ohtani, Mizuhara and Balelo, marked by immense trust despite a language barrier that hindered their communication, created the landscape for the unthinkable — Mizuhara’s theft of almost $17 million from Ohtani to cover gambling debts, and his plea of guilty last month to charges of bank and tax fraud. The two counts carry a maximum sentence of 33 years.
Could Mizuhara have pulled off such a theft without Ohtani and Balelo knowing? The only way it was even plausible was because of the unusual dynamic among the three, as detailed by more than 25 past and present Angels employees, Dodgers officials and others familiar with the evolution of their relationship. Many of those who spoke to The Athletic were granted anonymity so that they could speak candidly. Ohtani, Balelo and Mizuhara declined to answer questions for this story.
As one Angels employee put it, Ohtani’s whole world was baseball, and Balelo’s whole world was Ohtani. Mizuhara, the only one of the three fluent in both English and Japanese, filled the communication gap and assumed greater responsibility than a typical interpreter. Mizuhara, according to those interviewed, fit a variety of descriptions: Buffer. Blocker. Human wall. The U.S. government, in its 37-page complaint against Mizuhara, referred to him as a de facto manager and assistant, employed by Ohtani.
Ohtani, consumed with his unprecedented effort to succeed as both a hitter and pitcher, placed inordinate faith in Mizuhara to handle his day-to-day affairs. And Balelo, perhaps out of fear of losing Ohtani as a client with a record payday looming, failed to make an issue of the bank account Mizuhara said Ohtani wanted kept private — the account the interpreter plundered.
Ohtani, viewed solely as a victim by the government, weathered the storm as if it was a passing shower. Though he is unable to pitch this season while recovering from major elbow surgery, he is a candidate for his third MVP award because of his continuing prowess as a hitter. Going into Monday, he leads the National League in Wins Above Replacement (5.4), slugging percentage (.638), OPS (1.039) and home runs (30), and ranks in the top three in hits, batting average and on-base percentage.
Off the field, Ohtani is also thriving. In March, shortly before news broke of Mizuhara’s misdeeds, Sportico estimated Ohtani would earn $65 million in endorsements in 2024. Ohtani since has emerged in an even stronger position, nearing $100 million annually in endorsements with the potential to exceed that figure, according to an industry source briefed on his earnings.
With Mizuhara out of the picture, Ohtani also has become more assertive. Before a recent game, Ohtani told teammate Freddie Freeman, “I’m going to be on first when you hit a double today.” Freeman and other teammates have taken note of Ohtani’s comfort with baseball talk in English. During the 5 1/2 weeks when Mizuhara was with the Dodgers, such interactions did not take place, Freeman said. Mizuhara initiated conversations with players, not Ohtani.
“He has blossomed,” Dodgers manager Dave Roberts said of Ohtani. “He’s become way more independent, way more open, which is ironic given that the person he trusted most deceived him. We’ve seen his true personality come out. I think with that, he’s happier than he’s ever been.”
Ohtani headed into the week leading the National League in WAR, OPS+, home runs, total bases and runs scored. (Ezra Shaw / Getty Images)
Joe Maddon, the Angels’ manager from 2020 to June 2022, worried about Ohtani.
“I just didn’t think he had any kind of social life. That was the part that really stood out to me,” Maddon said. “My impression was that he would go back to that apartment in the parking lot of the ballpark. On the road, it was pretty much the same, (hotel) room and back. Was he that married to baseball?”
The answer, those in Ohtani’s orbit say, was yes. Experts say such single-mindedness is not uncommon among Japanese athletes. But while many players who moved from Japan to the majors showed intense focus, Ohtani’s single-mindedness as both a pitcher and hitter is a level above.
“I’ll start with the caveat that you can’t essentialize any culture of any nation,” said Kiyoteru Tsutsui, professor of sociology and director of the Japan program at Stanford University’s Shorenstein Asia-Pacific Research Center. “But to the extent we can talk about ‘Japanese culture, Japanese ethos,’ that is one key component.”
The narrowing of focus starts at a young age, Tsutsui said. Most Japanese schoolchildren play only one sport. Some traditionalists even opposed Ohtani’s initial pursuit of a two-way career, perceiving it as disrespectful to the craft of baseball, in which a player generally tries to succeed either as a pitcher or hitter, but not both.
As Ohtani pressed forward, cultural mores dictated that mere proficiency in those endeavors would not be enough.
“You have to be the best where you are. That has been a tradition in Japan,” Tsutsui said. “Things are slowly changing. But it’s still a very powerful influence on a lot of people’s mindsets. So when people see Shohei crafting his skill in baseball, that kind of focus is highly valued and appreciated. And people really respect him for that.”
How could Ohtani fail to notice millions disappearing from one of his bank accounts? Some who witnessed Ohtani’s devotion to becoming, as former Angels manager Phil Nevin put it, “the greatest player in the world,” were unsurprised by his seeming obliviousness.
One former Angels employee described Ohtani’s work-life balance as “99 to 1” in favor of work. He was so regimented in his daily preparation as a pitcher and hitter, the employee said, “it was not in his mind space to enjoy the moment.” Ohtani would take an iPad home to watch the next day’s starting pitcher. He even monitored his sleep — Sports Illustrated reported Ohtani strives for 10 hours a night, plus a two-hour nap before a game — through a wearable device.
The employee recalled Ohtani setting specific statistical goals. His pursuit of a record free-agent contract reflected, as much as anything, his desire to establish another standard. Ohtani accomplished that by securing the biggest deal by total value in sports history. Yet he deferred $680 million of the $700 million knowing that, by going to the Dodgers, his endorsements only would increase.
Those who know Ohtani say he considers the financial numbers almost incidental, and shows virtually no interest in money. Deals with New Balance and Hugo Boss provide him with most of his clothing. Ohtani secured a prime piece of real estate in Hawaii in exchange for being named as the first resident of a new luxury community. “It is unclear how much, if anything, Ohtani paid for his land,” the Wall Street Journal said. He recently purchased a $7.85 million home in the L.A. area as well. The buyer on the deed is listed as “Decopin LLC.” Decopin is the name of Ohtani’s dog.
With the Angels, Ohtani never even participated in common clubhouse rituals such as NCAA tournament and Master’s pools. The notion that Ohtani would even be interested in international soccer, one of the sports Mizuhara bet on, is outlandish, some team sources said. One guessed Ohtani could not even identify Patrick Mahomes, the NFL’s biggest star. “All he cared about was playing his video game on his phone,” an Angels person said. “And then it was baseball.”
Perhaps Ohtani, 30, will broaden his horizons now that he is settled with the Dodgers and married to Mamiko Tanaka, a former basketball player; Angels people were shocked to see video of him attending the Dodgers’ annual chicken-wing eating contest in spring training. Or perhaps little will change.
Japanese psychoanalyst Takeo Doi, in his 1971 book, “The Anatomy of Dependence,” introduced the concept of amae, describing it as a desire among some in Japan for one person to be taken care of by another, almost in the way a parent takes care of a child. Tsutsui said the term loosely translated to “indulgence.”
“The boundary between children and adults is much blurrier in Japan,” Tsutsui said. “People want to go back to being kids again. Shohei is perceived to be, in areas other than baseball, this man-child. He’s a grownup, but he’s still playing baseball like he’s a kid, chasing baseballs after dark. And that also is an endearing image for a lot of the Japanese public.”
Ohtani and Mizuhara first met in 2013, when both joined the Hokkaido Nippon-Ham Fighters, Ohtani as an 18-year-old rookie, Mizuhara as an interpreter for the team’s English-speaking players. When Ohtani made it known he would play in the majors starting in 2018, Mizuhara contacted him and asked to be his interpreter, according to the government complaint.
Both Ohtani and Balelo highly recommended Mizuhara, a former Angels employee said. The Angels, who hired Mizuhara to interpret for one player, not serve in a broad position of responsibility, conducted a perfunctory background check. After the gambling scandal broke, key points in Mizuhara’s publicly available biography were revealed to be either exaggerated or inaccurate.
Ohtani, during his time with the Angels, rarely was seen without Mizuhara. They would arrive at the park together, eat together, appear in the batting cage together, leave together.
“I saw two guys who were the best of friends,” Nevin said.
Mizuhara attended to every detail for Ohtani, down to making sure he had the right food. In the rare times they were apart, Mizuhara might be talking on the phone. Or smoking a cigarette. But while some with the Angels knew he bet, they didn’t see him checking his phone constantly, the way a compulsive gambler might be expected to. When Mizuhara spoke on the phone, he appeared to be conducting business for Ohtani.
“He always seemed to be handling stuff you feel like your agent would kind of handle,” one former Angels player said. “It felt like he was a quasi-agent.”
The government complaint stated that CAA, described as “Agent 1’s agency,” did not employ any individuals who spoke Japanese. The complaint also stated, “Agent 1 did not speak directly to Victim A (Ohtani) or regularly exchange text messages with Victim A. Instead, Agent 1 relayed messages to Victim A through Mizuhara.”
Such was the three-way trust.
“As much as Ohtani trusted Ippei, I can promise you Nez trusted him exactly as much,” a Dodgers official said. “I don’t know any other circumstance that is like this, where this is one guy in the middle. He controlled the dialogue in both directions.”
Ohtani’s knowledge of English, Dodgers people say, is improving, but remains limited mostly to baseball talk. Some Angels officials said they spoke to Ohtani directly, but also only in baseball terms. If Ohtani wanted to do early work, Mizuhara would text an Angels coach to arrange a time. One coach said he did not even have Ohtani’s number. Communicating with Mizuhara was easier and more effective.
Maddon said he enjoyed a “great relationship” with the interpreter. Nevin said he considered Mizuhara a friend. Some with the team, however, thought Mizuhara overly protective of Ohtani and wondered whether the information he relayed to and from the player was always accurate. Others thought Mizuhara at times seemed more loyal to Balelo than the organization that employed him. But those concerns, at the time, seemed minor.
One Angels person recalls Mizuhara saying he bet $10,000 on the Minnesota Vikings, but the revelation didn’t strike him as particularly odd. Betting conversations in major-league clubhouses are hardly uncommon. And if Mizuhara fretted over his gambling losses, he didn’t outwardly show it. On team flights, he usually was fast asleep. “Best sleeper we’ve ever had,” the Angels person said.
Over time, as Ohtani’s stardom grew, Mizuhara’s ability to communicate in both English and Japanese made him not only an invaluable resource, but also increased his power and control.
Balelo, according to the government complaint, was not the only member of Ohtani’s camp to ask Mizuhara about the bank account that belonged to the player, but which the interpreter used for his own gambling money. A bookkeeper employed by Balelo expressed concern about a potential tax liability for Ohtani. A financial advisor sought information for Ohtani’s investment profile. An accountant wanted to make sure he filed the proper tax returns. Mizuhara, the government said, told them all the same thing: Ohtani wanted the account to remain private.
And everyone knew: Ohtani was not to be disturbed.
Ippei Mizuhara (left), Shohei Ohtani and Nez Balelo (right) attended a Los Angeles Rams game together in December. (Sean M. Haffey / Getty Images)
Balelo’s desire for control is well-known throughout baseball. It was never more evident than during Ohtani’s free agent process, which was shrouded in secrecy. And it recently surfaced again when Balelo informed the Dodgers that Ohtani no longer will be available for pre-game access to the media.
In Mizuhara’s absence, Balelo has stepped into the void, taking on even greater responsibility. When necessary, he uses the Dodgers’ new interpreter for Ohtani, Will Ireton, to communicate with his client.
In seeking to shield Ohtani, Balelo is willing to push limits. As an executive told The Athletic last offseason, “Some would say Nez overdoes it with his clients. He’s involved in everything.”
By 2017, when Ohtani decided to leave Japan for the majors, most of Balelo’s top clients — Andre Ethier, Ryan Braun, Adam Jones — were winding down their careers. Once Ohtani signed with the Angels, Balelo, 61, was uniquely positioned to give him inordinate attention. And it quickly became clear that representing Ohtani would be a full-time job.
During Ohtani’s recruitment, U.S.-based agencies met with his parents, his high school coach and an attorney. His parents are listed as employees of a management company Ohtani formed at the start of his career, but their involvement is said to be limited. Some requests for him from the Japanese media go through that company, but Balelo generally has the final word.
A friend of Balelo’s described him as a “true believer” in his players. Balelo took the same approach with Ohtani he did with previous high-profile clients, diving into the weeds, trying to cover every detail. The approach backfired with Braun, who in 2013 tested positive a second time for using performance-enhancing drugs. Braun, after earlier denials, admitted to his use of PEDs, saying, “I realize now I have made some mistakes.” Two years earlier, he and Balelo persuaded an arbiter to overturn his first positive test, claiming his positive urine sample had been mishandled and attempting to discredit the Wisconsin man who collected it.
Some familiar with Balelo’s all-in style find it curious the government said he did not communicate directly with Ohtani, going through Mizuhara instead. Was Balelo, in his eagerness to serve his client, simply too trusting? Was he concerned that pushing Mizuhara on the Ohtani bank account in question would damage his relationship with his star player?
Balelo’s dealings with Braun were a blow to the agent’s reputation. But the agent seems to have escaped this spring’s tumultuous events relatively unscathed.
Viewed by the usual measures, Balelo’s micromanaging of Ohtani has been an unqualified success. Ohtani is the most prosperous player in the sport, on and off the field. And Mizuhara’s gambling, while initially perceived as a major threat to Ohtani’s standing, barely dented the global superstar. The government’s message was that Mizuhara deceived those who trusted him most.
A less insular relationship among the three might have resulted in a different sequence of events. But Ohtani achieved global stardom while he, Mizuhara and Balelo maintained the tightest of circles.
Now Mizuhara is gone, and Ohtani’s stature continues to rise. He is putting together another monstrous offensive season. He is on track to resume pitching in 2025. And his teammates say he is engaging with them regularly, often without an interpreter.
“He’s been very interactive with the team, talking to everybody,” Dodgers third baseman Max Muncy said.
Roberts, the Dodgers’ manager, sees it too.
“He’s been forced to be his own man, drive his own car, just do things on his own,” Roberts said. “He’s learning things about himself he never knew.”
(Top image: Eamonn Dalton / The Athletic; Photos: Rob Leiter / MLB Photos via Getty Images; Brian Rothmuller / Icon Sportswire; Mitchell Leff / Getty Images)
Culture
Poetry Challenge Day 3: W.H. Auden, The Poet and His Technique
Now that we’ve memorized the first half of our poem, let’s learn a little more about the man who wrote it. (Haven’t memorized anything yet? Click here to start at the beginning.)
For most of his life, Wystan Hugh Auden (1907-73) was a star. He was widely read, quoted, argued over and gossiped about, achieving a level of fame that few writers now — and not many then — could contemplate. His New York Times obituary did not hesitate to call him “the foremost poet of his generation.”
Celebrity of that kind is ephemeral, but Auden’s words have continued to circulate in the half century since his death. Maybe you’ve heard some of them before. In the 1994 film “Four Weddings and a Funeral,” his poem “Funeral Blues” is recited by Matthew (John Hannah) over the casket of his lover, Gareth (Simon Callow).
In the Gen-X touchstone “Before Sunrise” (1995), Jesse (Ethan Hawke) regales Celine (Julie Delpy) with an impression of Dylan Thomas reading Auden’s “As I Walked Out One Evening.”
In both these scenes, the characters use Auden’s poetry to give voice to a longing for which they otherwise might not have words. Auden’s poetry is often useful in that way. It speaks to recognizable human occasions, and it isn’t always all about him.
“The More Loving One” might not be something you’d quote at a funeral or on a date, but it is almost effortlessly quotable — the perfect expression of a thought you never knew you had:
Admirer as I think I am
Of stars that do not give a damn,
I cannot, now I see them, say
I missed one terribly all day.
Ken Burns, filmmaker
The word “I” occurs five times in this stanza, but we don’t know much about the person speaking. His personality is camouflaged and revealed by craft.
Auden, born in the northern English cathedral city of York, began practicing that craft as a schoolboy, and honed it at Oxford. Not long after graduating in 1928, he was anointed by critics and readers as the great hope of modern English poetry. A charismatic, divisive figure, he gathered acolytes, imitators and haters.
He swam in the intellectual and ideological crosscurrents of the 1930s, drawing Marxism, psychoanalysis and mystical nationalism into his writing. Assimilating a daunting array of literary influences — Old English and Ancient Greek, French chansons and Icelandic sagas — he forged a poetic personality that was bold, confiding and seductive.
His love poems of that era were candid, discreet dispatches from a calendar of feverish entanglements, wrenching breakups and one-night stands, usually with other men. He also wrote about the feverish politics of the time — class conflict; the rise of fascism; the Spanish Civil War — in ringing rhetoric he later disavowed.
In 1939 Auden moved to America, acquiring U.S. citizenship after World War II. In New York he fell in love with Chester Kallman, a young American writer who became his life partner.
It was a complicated relationship, starting as a passionate affair and enduring through decades of domestic companionship and creative collaboration. Kallman’s refusal to be sexually exclusive wounded Auden, a dynamic that poignantly shades this poem’s most memorable couplet:
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.
Yiyun Li, writer
In America, Auden distanced himself from the radical politics of his earlier career and embraced Anglican Christianity. His intellectual preoccupations shifted toward religion and existentialism — to the kinds of big questions we think about late at night, or when we look to the sky.
Making the leap from wunderkind to grand old man without seeming to stop in middle age, he became a mentor for several generations of younger poets. He was a prolific and punctual contributor of reviews and essays to various publications, including this one, for which he wrote a rave of J.R.R. Tolkien’s “The Fellowship of the Ring” in 1954.
Through it all, Auden devoted fanatical attention to the finer points of poetic technique. His notebooks are full of numbers, word lists and markings that show just how deep this commitment went. He counted every syllable, measured every stress.
He gathered rhymes and other words with a lexicographer’s zeal and a crossword puzzler’s precision.
The third stanza of “The More Loving One” is a miniature showcase of Auden’s skill. Of the four epigrams arrayed before us, it may be the most technically perfect.
Admirer as I think I am
Of stars that do not give a damn,
I cannot, now I see them, say
I missed one terribly all day.
W.H. Auden, poet
The rhythm is flawless, without an extra syllable or an accent out of place. The grammar is also fastidious. Here is a single sentence, springloaded with equivocation, beginning with one idea and sliding toward its opposite.
This quatrain is the poem’s ideal formal representation of itself, a kind of proof of concept: four lines of impeccable iambic tetrameter in an AABB rhyme scheme. The by-the-book regularity of this stanza should give you a leg up in memorizing it, and you can test yourself below!
But the rest of the poem is an argument against perfection, just as it is a celebration of uncertainty and humility — as we’ll see tomorrow.
Play a game to learn it by heart. Need more practice? Listen to Ada Limón, Matthew McConaughey, W.H. Auden and others recite our poem.
Question 1/6
Admirer as I think I am
Of stars that do not give a damn,
Tap a word above to fill in the highlighted blank.Your first task: Learn the first two lines!
Let’s start with the first couplet in this stanza. Fill in the rhyming words.
Ready for another round? Try your hand at the 2025 Poetry Challenge.
Edited by Gregory Cowles, Alicia DeSantis and Nick Donofrio. Additional editing by Emily Eakin,
Joumana Khatib, Emma Lumeij and Miguel Salazar. Design and development by Umi Syam. Additional
game design by Eden Weingart. Video editing by Meg Felling. Photo editing by Erica Ackerberg.
Illustration art direction by Tala Safie.
Illustrations by Daniel Barreto.
Text and audio recording of “The More Loving One,” by W.H. Auden, copyright © by the Estate of
W.H. Auden. Reprinted by permission of Curtis Brown, Ltd. Photograph accompanying Auden recording
from Imagno/Getty Images.
Culture
Book Review: ‘Permanence,’ by Sophie Mackintosh
PERMANENCE, by Sophie Mackintosh
Sophie Mackintosh’s novels are always speculative in some way, with either the author or her characters forging a world governed by its own logic and rules. In their boldness and their ability to convey the violence of patriarchy, they recall the work of Jacqueline Harpman — not only the cherished “I Who Have Never Known Men,” but also “Orlanda,” her wild riff on Virginia Woolf’s “Orlando.”
Like Harpman, Mackintosh has a spare and confident hand. Her work is sometimes described as dreamlike; certainly, its contours are sketched with rapidity and confidence and relatively little detail. Her prose operates according to the same principle, at once lyrical and precise, like this from her second novel, “Blue Ticket”: “On the ground was a dead rabbit, disemboweled. Still fresh, the dark loops of its insides glistening like jam.”
When Mackintosh writes about masculine power, she does so in a way that articulates both its seductions and its terrors. Her newest novel, “Permanence,” is less explicitly concerned with the structure of patriarchy, but it has the same erotic charge as her earlier work, the same preoccupation with social prohibitions and the thrill that comes from breaking them.
Like “Blue Ticket,” “Permanence” turns on a highly pronounced binary. In “Blue Ticket,” adolescent girls are issued either a blue or white ticket on the day of their first period. A white ticket denotes a future of marriage and children, a blue ticket one of work — even, it seems, a career. The divide is stark and self-evidently faulty, its coarseness an expression of the brutalizing regime the characters are trapped in.
“Permanence” features a similar opposition, neatly delineated. Clara and Francis are conducting an illicit affair. One morning, they wake up in an alternate reality where they are openly living together. The novel shuttles between these two worlds, one ordinary and familiar, the other a curdled paradise for adulterers.
The thinness of this “city of impermanence” — “fluid, cohesive and yet disparate” — emerges at once. The sky is “uncannily blue,” the newspaper bears no date, the edge of the city is marked by “a slick ring of water, as far as the eye could see.”
Still, a boundary cannot keep the other world from seeping in. Initially, elegantly, this is a problem in the structure of desire. Having been provided the life they dreamed of, in which their longing for each other is fully met, Clara and Francis begin to experience, to their uneasy surprise, boredom and discontent.
Without absence, the intensity of their desire for each other wanes. They even begin, or at least Francis does, to long for the relief of their ordinary life: “Another day ahead of them of petting, giggling, lying around. It seemed insubstantial suddenly, though only the day before he had felt he could do it forever.”
Soon enough, it becomes clear that the problem between Francis and Clara doesn’t lie in the outside impediments of the world they live in, but in their relationship itself. Francis remains troublingly himself — a married father of a small child, reluctant to leave his family, however much he is in love with Clara: “He did love her, and he did want to be with her. … But he already had reality elsewhere, reality which he sometimes felt trapped by, he would admit, but which he could not truly imagine cutting loose.”
“Permanence” might seem like an outlier in the current array of articles and books about open marriages and polyamory, and at first glance the line of distinction between the two worlds, much like the division between blue and white tickets, seems almost old-fashioned. But as Mackintosh persuasively illustrates, the familiar emotions of jealousy, infatuation and eventually indifference — these persist and can flourish in any relationship, however free of prohibition.
“You want this,” Clara tells herself, and then, “You no longer want this,” as it occurs to her that “maybe it was in absence that they loved each other best, and most honestly.”
In her work, Mackintosh devises scenarios that are bold and almost aggressively simplified. But her terrain is complexity and contradiction, and in her hands these oppositions twist and turn in on themselves.
It’s hardly a surprise when the central character in “Blue Ticket” decides to eschew her designation and have a child, declaring, “True and false were no longer opposing binaries. My body was speaking to me in a language I had not heard before.” Nor is it especially startling when discontent chases Clara and Francis from one world to the other, unraveling their relationship.
What is more disquieting is the surreptitious ease with which Mackintosh’s speculative worlds start to align with our own, allowing the reader to see how so many of the old prohibitions and conventions — around choice, around marriage — remain, somehow, firmly in place.
That moment of recognition, in a landscape that is startlingly alien, is the source of Mackintosh’s power as a writer.
PERMANENCE | By Sophie Mackintosh | Avid Reader Press | 240 pp. | $28
Culture
Poetry Challenge Day 2: Love, How It Works and What It Means
Maybe you woke up this morning haunted by the first four lines of W.H. Auden’s “The More Loving One” — or tickled by its tongue-in-cheek handling of existential dread. (Not ringing any bells? Click here to begin the Poetry Challenge).
This is a love poem. Perhaps that seems like an obvious thing to say about a poem with “Loving” in its title, but there isn’t much romance in the opening stanza.
Looking up at the stars, I know quite well
That, for all they care, I can go to hell,
But on earth indifference is the least
We have to dread from man or beast.
Ada Limón, poet
Nonetheless, the poem soon makes clear that love is very much on its mind.
How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
David Sedaris, writer
The polished informality gives the impression of a decidedly cerebral speaker — someone who’s looking at love philosophically, thinking about how it works and what it means.
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.
Reginald Dwayne Betts, poet
Musing this way — arguing in this fashion — he stands in a long line of playful, thoughtful poetic lovers going back at least to the 16th century. He sounds a bit like Christopher Marlowe’s passionate shepherd:
Come live with me and be my love,
And we will all the pleasures prove,
That Valleys, groves, hills, and fields,
Woods, or steepy mountain yields.
Auden’s poem, like Marlowe’s, is written in four-beat lines:
How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
Josh Radnor, actor
And it features strong end rhymes:
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.
Samantha Harvey, writer
These tetrameter couplets represent a long-established poetic love language. Not too serious or sappy, but with room for both earnestness and whimsy. And even for professions of the opposite of love, as in this nursery rhyme, adapted from a 17th-century epigram:
I do not like thee, Doctor Fell
The reason why I cannot tell.
But this I know and know full well
I do not like thee, Doctor Fell.
There is some of this anti-love spirit in Auden’s poem too, but it mainly follows a general rule of love poetry: The person speaking is usually the more loving one.
This makes sense. To write a poem requires effort, art, inspiration. To speak in verse is to tease, to cajole, to seduce, all actions that suggest an excess of desire. That’s why it’s conventional to refer to the “I” in a poem like this as the Lover and the “you” as the Beloved. The line “Let the more loving one be me” could summarize a lot of the love poetry of the last few thousand years.
But who, in this case, is the beloved? This isn’t a poem to the stars, but about them. Or maybe a poem that uses the stars as a conceit and our complicated feelings about them as a screen for other difficult emotions.
What the stars have to do with love is a tricky question. The answer may just be that the poem assumes a relationship and then plays with the implications of its assumption.
This kind of play also has a long history. Since love is both abstract and susceptible to cliché, poets are eager to liken it to everything else under the sun: birds, bees, planets, stars, the movement of the tides and the cycle of the seasons. Andrew Marvell’s “Definition of Love,” from the 1600s, wraps its ardor in math:
As lines, so loves oblique may well
Themselves in every angle greet;
But ours so truly parallel,
Though infinite, can never meet.
The literary term for this is wit. The formidable 18th-century English wordsmith Samuel Johnson defined a type of wit as “a combination of dissimilar images, or discovery of occult resemblances in things apparently unlike.” “The most heterogeneous ideas are yoked by violence together,” he wrote; that kind of conceptual discord defines “The More Loving One.”
The second stanza is, when you think about it, a perfect non sequitur. A hypothetical, general question is asked:
How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
Mary Roach, writer
The answer is a personal declaration that is moving because it doesn’t seem to apply only or primarily to stars:
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.
Tim Egan, writer
Does this disjunction make it easier or harder to remember? Either way, these couplets start to reveal just how curious this poem is. We might find ourselves curious about who wrote them, and whom he might have loved. Tomorrow we’ll get to know Auden and his work a little better.
Play a game to learn it by heart. Need more practice? Listen to Ada Limón, Matthew McConaughey, W.H. Auden and others recite our poem.
Question 1/6
How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
Tap a word above to fill in the highlighted blank.
Your task today: Learn the second stanza!
Let’s start with the first couplet in this stanza. Fill in the rhyming words.
Ready for another round? Try your hand at the 2025 Poetry Challenge.
Edited by Gregory Cowles, Alicia DeSantis and Nick Donofrio. Additional editing by Emily Eakin,
Joumana Khatib, Emma Lumeij and Miguel Salazar. Design and development by Umi Syam. Additional
game design by Eden Weingart. Video editing by Meg Felling. Photo editing by Erica Ackerberg.
Illustration art direction by Tala Safie.
Illustrations by Daniel Barreto.
Text and audio recording of “The More Loving One,” by W.H. Auden, copyright © by the Estate of
W.H. Auden. Reprinted by permission of Curtis Brown, Ltd. Photograph accompanying Auden recording
from Imagno/Getty Images.
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