Culture
Post-retirement, Carli Lloyd has things to say: 'People only saw me with raging, bulging eyes'
Carli Lloyd, the two-time World Cup winner and double Olympic gold medallist, recently wrote an article for Women’s Health magazine. She spoke movingly of her secret journey of unexplained infertility and IVF treatment, culminating in a joyous development: she is now pregnant, and expecting her first child in October.
Post-retirement and now aged 41, Lloyd wrote that her “heart has come alive” and explained how, for the first time, she feels able to open up and allow herself to be vulnerable.
This is not Carli Lloyd, the player, that people think they know.
“People had to get used to that,” she tells The Athletic. “They had to understand me a little bit more. But the fanbase and media only saw the competitor Carli. They only saw me with raging, bulging eyes, like I wanted to hurt somebody and be the ultra, uber-competitor. And that was the way that I was going to be able to survive.
“And when I look back at my career and reflect, ‘Would I have done things differently?’, I do think I maybe would have tried to enjoy things a little bit more. But I had to have a guard up, because I had some coaches that kind of stabbed me in the back. And you’re part of a team where everybody’s competing with one another. So that guard stayed up until I announced my retirement.
“And I felt, in the last couple of months, I could finally be a bit more vulnerable. I could finally be a bit more like myself.”
Lloyd attributes her mindset as a player to the “cut-throat” environment of the United States women’s national team.
“People don’t understand how cut-throat it is,” she says. “I would say that it’s entirely unhealthy, but it’s what made our team the best and it’s what made me the best. It made me into the player and person I am today. I don’t think that (culture) needs to change. In order to be the best, you have to be in an environment that’s really hard.”
Lloyd’s record is testament to that success: 134 goals in 316 international appearances (making her the second-highest appearance-maker and third-highest scorer in USWNT history), as well as a hat-trick in the 2015 World Cup final against Japan.
When Carli Lloyd, the broadcaster of today, speaks about what it takes to be successful at the highest level, she commands an audience.
Lloyd scores the second of her three goals in the 2015 Women’s World Cup final (Dennis Grombkowski/Getty Images)
That has certainly been the view of U.S. broadcaster Fox Sports, whose “summer of soccer” culminates on Sunday with a double bill of the finals of the European Championship (3pm ET) and Copa America (8pm ET). Fox made Lloyd the centrepiece of last summer’s Women’s World Cup coverage and over the past few weeks she has also been a studio analyst during the men’s Copa America.
Lloyd has been engaging and compelling, even if her strident opinions may at times divide opinion: during the Women’s World Cup, she provoked strong feelings when she argued the USWNT players appeared to be celebrating excessively.
But Lloyd is rated highly by broadcasters because she is prepared to give an opinion. She does not do wishy-washy. She “wasn’t surprised” by Alex Morgan’s recent omission from the USWNT Olympic roster and thinks “there needs to be a change” with the U.S. men’s national team, too — the United States Soccer Federation (USSF) is conducting a review following a disappointing Copa America in which Gregg Berhalter’s side did not progress beyond the group phase.
(Left to right) Rob Stone, Clint Dempsey, Lloyd and Alexi Lalas on Fox (Photo: Fox Sports)
“(The U.S. co-hosted men’s World Cup in) 2026 is looming very quickly,” Lloyd says. “Gregg is a great person and I don’t think that there’s just one problem here. But from the outside, they do appear maybe a little bit comfortable, maybe there needs to be some ruffling of feathers and somebody to come in and give a little tough love at times. But that’s just pure speculation.
“From the standpoint of their play, things look a little rigid on the field. Something is just not clicking. With the state the team’s in now — with everybody in an uproar, the fans, sponsors, media, everybody — unfortunately, I think that there needs to be a change.
“You want to go into 2026 with the support of your nation and all those around you. So I do think that there has to be a change, and it needs to be someone that’s outside of the box, somebody international. (Jurgen) Klopp’s name has been thrown out there.”
Is the currently unattached former Liverpool manager her dream hire for the USMNT? “It would be amazing,” Lloyd says. “But there’s no time for development here. This is about 2026 and you want to put the best team out there and get the best result.”
Lloyd is also combative, hitting back on social media when some viewers felt she was wrong to add USMNT captain Christian Pulisic to a roll call of the sport’s all-time greats such as Diego Maradona and Lionel Messi. She also responded last week when one X user criticised her appearance, countering: “You call a pregnant woman big… clearly you haven’t been taught anything in your life to be respectful.”
“I view that as a really sad state of affairs in the world that we live in today,” Lloyd adds. “I’m almost 42, comfortable in my own skin and confident in that regard. But it saddens me that young girls have to go through this.
“Some of the things that have come at me have been hurtful, disgusting, verbally abusive. In this realm of commenting on Copa America, people are telling me to get back into the kitchen, that I don’t belong in men’s sports. You have to have thick skin. I’ve had thick skin throughout my playing career and that has hardened me… And I pride myself on being honest and saying what I think. And that’s not always the popular choice.
“But the block button does come in handy. People come at me about blocking, but I just don’t have time for people to constantly be coming at me. You just don’t deserve to even see what’s happening on my feed.”
Lloyd won the World Cup with the USWNT in 2015 and 2019 (Naomi Baker – FIFA via Getty Images)
Would it dissuade Lloyd from appearing in the future as an analyst?
“No, it would never put me off, because the most important thing in my life is my circle of people. I don’t get my worth or my justification on how good of a job I’m doing from all of these people on social media. The majority of them are just angry that other people are successful and they’re not happy themselves.”
Lloyd will be present in the Fox studio for the Copa America final this weekend. She says she feels pride in joining others, such as sideline reporter Jenny Taft and former England international Kelly Smith, who have previously broadcast while pregnant. “Jenny said that I can use some of her wardrobe if need be,” says Lloyd. “It’s giving people the confidence to know that, just because you’re pregnant, you can still be on TV and, I’m embracing it all.
“Sure, my body has changed, pretty drastically, from the way that I was as an athlete. But I’m growing a human being inside of me, and I think it’s one of the most amazing things and just such a miracle and I’m just proudly enjoying it.”
In her open letter in Women’s Health, Lloyd explained the psychological and physical challenges she endured in her attempts to become pregnant. At one point, she said she began to question why her body was failing her. Lloyd revealed she became pregnant after three rounds of IVF. She would now like more young athletes, and more young women in general, to receive greater education on the topic and have access to wider conversations.
“It would be healthy if more people understand that a woman is born with a certain amount of eggs and, as you age, your eggs are ageing,” she says. “Maybe if there were other opportunities, if there were teams that I was on that were sponsored or linked up with a fertility clinic where you had the option and you had the support to have your eggs frozen. You can’t be working out for several weeks while you go through the process.
“It would be good if we can talk about it more, educate younger players and have those those options available. I do know that several NWSL teams (the top division of the women’s club game in the U.S.) are partnered with fertility clinics, which is great, but hopefully more jump on board.
“I was very naive and had no idea what I was walking into. And there are a lot of women in the sports world and business world that nowadays do want to put off having kids. And times have changed. And in that department, things also need to change.”
(Top photo: Christian Petersen/Getty Images)
Culture
Poetry Challenge: Memorize “The More Loving One” by W.H. Auden
Let’s memorize a poem! Not because it’s good for us or because we think we should, but because it’s fun, a mental challenge with a solid aesthetic reward. You can amuse yourself, impress your friends and maybe discover that your way of thinking about the world — or even, as you’ll see, the universe — has shifted a bit.
Over the next five days, we’ll look closely at a great poem by one of our favorite poets, and we’ll have games, readings and lots of encouragement to help you learn it by heart. Some of you know how this works: Last year more Times readers than we could count memorized a jaunty 18-line recap of an all-night ferry ride. (If you missed that adventure, it’s not too late to embark. The ticket is still valid.)
This time, we’re training our telescopes on W.H. Auden’s “The More Loving One” — a clever, compact meditation on love, disappointment and the night sky.
Here’s the first of its four stanzas, read for us by Matthew McConaughey:
The More Loving One
Looking up at the stars, I know quite well
That, for all they care, I can go to hell,
But on earth indifference is the least
We have to dread from man or beast.
Matthew McConaughey, actor and poet
In four short lines we get a brisk, cynical tour of the universe: hell and the heavens, people and animals, coldness and cruelty. Commonplace observations — that the stars are distant; that life can be dangerous — are wound into a charming, provocative insight. The tone is conversational, mixing decorum and mild profanity in a manner that makes it a pleasure to keep reading.
Here’s Tracy K. Smith, a former U.S. poet laureate, with the second stanza:
How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.
Tracy K. Smith, poet
These lines abruptly shift the focus from astronomy to love, from the universal to the personal. Imagine how it would feel if the stars had massive, unrequited crushes on us! The speaker, couching his skepticism in a coy, hypothetical question, seems certain that we wouldn’t like this at all.
This certainty leads him to a remarkable confession, a moment of startling vulnerability. The poem’s title, “The More Loving One,” is restated with sweet, disarming frankness. Our friend is wearing his heart on his well-tailored sleeve.
The poem could end right there: two stanzas, point and counterpoint, about how we appreciate the stars in spite of their indifference because we would rather love than be loved.
But the third stanza takes it all back. Here’s Alison Bechdel reading it:
Admirer as I think I am
Of stars that do not give a damn,
I cannot, now I see them, say
I missed one terribly all day.
Alison Bechdel, graphic novelist
The speaker downgrades his foolish devotion to qualified admiration. No sooner has he established himself as “the more loving one” than he gives us — and perhaps himself — reason to doubt his ardor. He likes the stars fine, he guesses, but not so much as to think about them when they aren’t around.
The fourth and final stanza, read by Yiyun Li, takes this disenchantment even further:
Were all stars to disappear or die,
I should learn to look at an empty sky
And feel its total dark sublime,
Though this might take me a little time.
Yiyun Li, author
Wounded defiance gives way to a more rueful, resigned state of mind. If the universe were to snuff out its lights entirely, the speaker reckons he would find beauty in the void. A starless sky would make him just as happy.
Though perhaps, like so many spurned lovers before and after, he protests a little too much. Every fan of popular music knows that a song about how you don’t care that your baby left you is usually saying the opposite.
The last line puts a brave face on heartbreak.
So there you have it. In just 16 lines, this poem manages to be somber and funny, transparent and elusive. But there’s more to it than that. There is, for one thing, a voice — a thinking, feeling person behind those lines.
When he wrote “The More Loving One,” in the 1950s, Wystan Hugh Auden was among the most beloved writers in the English-speaking world. Before this week is over there will be more to say about Auden, but like most poets he would have preferred that we give our primary attention to the poem.
Its structure is straightforward and ingenious. Each of the four stanzas is virtually a poem unto itself — a complete thought expressed in one or two sentences tied up in a neat pair of couplets. Every quatrain is a concise, witty observation: what literary scholars call an epigram.
This makes the work of memorization seem less daunting. We can take “The More Loving One” one epigram at a time, marvelling at how the four add up to something stranger, deeper and more complex than might first appear.
So let’s go back to the beginning and try to memorize that insouciant, knowing first stanza. Below you’ll find a game we made to get you started. Give it a shot, and come back tomorrow for more!
Play a game to learn it by heart. Need more practice? Listen to Ada Limón, Matthew McConaughey, W.H. Auden and others recite our poem.
Question 1/6
Looking up at the stars, I know quite well That, for all they care, I can go to hell,
Tap a word above to fill in the highlighted blank.
Your first task: Learn the first four lines!
Let’s start with the first couplet. Fill in the rhyming words.
Monday
Love, the cosmos and everything in between, all in 16 lines.
Tuesday (Available tomorrow)
What’s love got to do with it?
Wednesday (Available April 22)
How to write about love? Be a little heartsick (and the best poet of your time).
Thursday (Available April 23)
Are we alone in the universe? Does it matter?
Friday (Available April 24)
You did it! You’re a star.
Ready for another round? Try your hand at the 2025 Poetry Challenge.
Edited by Gregory Cowles, Alicia DeSantis and Nick Donofrio. Additional editing by Emily Eakin,
Joumana Khatib, Emma Lumeij and Miguel Salazar. Design and development by Umi Syam. Additional
game design by Eden Weingart. Video editing by Meg Felling. Photo editing by Erica Ackerberg.
Illustration art direction by Tala Safie.
Illustrations by Daniel Barreto.
Text and audio recording of “The More Loving One,” by W.H. Auden, copyright © by the Estate of
W.H. Auden. Reprinted by permission of Curtis Brown, Ltd. Photograph accompanying Auden recording
from Imagno/Getty Images.
Culture
Famous Authors’ Less Famous Books
Literature
‘Romola’ (1863) by George Eliot
Who knew that there’s a major George Eliot novel that neither I nor any of my friends had ever heard of?
“Romola” was Eliot’s fourth novel, published between “The Mill on the Floss” (1860) and “Middlemarch” (1870-71). If my friends and I didn’t get this particular memo, and “Romola” is familiar to every Eliot fan but us, please skip the following.
“Romola” isn’t some fluky misfire better left unmentioned in light of Eliot’s greater work. It’s her only historical novel, set in Florence during the Italian Renaissance. It embraces big subjects like power, religion, art and social upheaval, but it’s not dry or overly intellectual. Its central character is a gifted, freethinking young woman named Romola, who enters a marriage so disastrous as to make Anna Karenina’s look relatively good.
It probably matters that many of Eliot’s other books have been adapted into movies or TV series, with actors like Hugh Dancy, Ben Kingsley, Emily Watson and Rufus Sewell. The BBC may be doing even more than we thought to keep classic literature alive. (In 1924, “Romola” was made into a silent movie starring Lillian Gish. It doesn’t seem to have made much difference.)
Anthony Trollope, among others, loved “Romola.” He did, however, warn Eliot against aiming over her readers’ heads, which may help explain its obscurity.
All I can say, really, is that it’s a mystery why some great books stay with us and others don’t.
‘Quiet Dell’ (2013) by Jayne Anne Phillips
This was an Oprah Book of the Week, which probably disqualifies it from B-side status, but it’s not nearly as well known as Phillips’s debut story collection, “Black Tickets” (1979), or her most recent novel, “Night Watch” (2023), which won her a long-overdue Pulitzer Prize.
Phillips has no parallel in her use of potent, stylized language to shine a light into the darkest of corners. In “Quiet Dell,” her only true-crime novel, she’s at the height of her powers, which are particularly apparent when she aims her language laser at horrific events that actually occurred. Her gift for transforming skeevy little lives into what I can only call “Blade Runner” mythology is consistently stunning.
Consider this passage from the opening chapter of “Quiet Dell”:
“Up high the bells are ringing for everyone alive. There are silver and gold and glass bells you can see through, and sleigh bells a hundred years old. My grandmother said there was a whisper for each one dead that year, and a feather drifting for each one waiting to be born.”
The book is full of language like that — and of complex, often chillingly perverse characters. It’s a dark, underrecognized beauty.
‘Solaris’ (1961) by Stanislaw Lem
You could argue that, in America, at least, the Polish writer Stanislaw Lem didn’t produce any A-side novels. You could just as easily argue that that makes all his novels both A-side and B-side.
It’s science fiction. All right?
I love science and speculative fiction, but I know a lot of literary types who take pride in their utter lack of interest in it. I always urge those people to read “Solaris,” which might change their opinions about a vast number of popular books they dismiss as trivial. As far as I know, no one has yet taken me up on that.
“Solaris” involves the crew of a space station continuing the study of an aquatic planet that has long defied analysis by the astrophysicists of Earth. Part of what sets the book apart from a lot of other science-fiction novels is Lem’s respect for enigma. He doesn’t offer contrived explanations in an attempt to seduce readers into suspending disbelief. The crew members start to experience … manifestations? … drawn from their lives and memories. If the planet has any intentions, however, they remain mysterious. All anyone can tell is that their desires and their fears, some of which are summoned from their subconsciousness, are being received and reflected back to them so vividly that it becomes difficult to tell the real from the projected. “Solaris” has the peculiar distinction of having been made into not one but two bad movies. Read the book instead.
‘Fox 8’ (2013) by George Saunders
If one of the most significant living American writers had become hypervisible with his 2017 novel, “Lincoln in the Bardo,” we’d go back and read his earlier work, wouldn’t we? Yes, and we may very well have already done so with the story collections “Tenth of December” (2013) and “Pastoralia” (2000). But what if we hadn’t yet read Saunders’s 2013 novella, “Fox 8,” about an unusually intelligent fox who, by listening to a family from outside their windows at night, has learned to understand, and write, in fox-English?: “One day, walking neer one of your Yuman houses, smelling all the interest with snout, I herd, from inside, the most amazing sound. Turns out, what that sound is, was: the Yuman voice, making werds. They sounded grate! They sounded like prety music! I listened to those music werds until the sun went down.”
Once Saunders became more visible to more of us, we’d want to read a book that ventures into the consciousness of a different species (novels tend to be about human beings), that maps the differences and the overlaps in human and animal consciousness, explores the effects of language on consciousness and is great fun.
We’d all have read it by now — right?
‘Between the Acts’ (1941) by Virginia Woolf
You could argue that Woolf didn’t have any B-sides, and yet it’s hard to deny that more people have read “Mrs. Dalloway” (1925) and “To the Lighthouse” (1927) than have read “The Voyage Out” (1915) or “Monday or Tuesday” (1921). Those, along with “Orlando” (1928) and “The Waves” (1931), are Woolf’s most prominent novels.
Four momentous novels is a considerable number for any writer, even a great one. That said, “Between the Acts,” her last novel, really should be considered the fifth of her significant books. The phrase “embarrassment of riches” comes to mind.
Five great novels by the same author is a lot for any reader to take on. Our reading time is finite. We won’t live long enough to read all the important books, no matter how old we get to be. I don’t expect many readers to be as devoted to Woolf as are the cohort of us who consider her to have been some sort of dark saint of literature and will snatch up any relic we can find. Fanatics like me will have read “Between the Acts” as well as “The Voyage Out,” “Monday or Tuesday” and “Flush” (1933), the story of Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s cocker spaniel. Speaking for myself, I don’t blame anyone who hasn’t gotten to those.
I merely want to add “Between the Acts” to the A-side, lest anyone who’s either new to Woolf or a tourist in Woolf-landia fail to rank it along with the other four contenders.
As briefly as possible: It focuses on an annual village pageant that attempts to convey all of English history in a single evening. The pageant itself interweaves subtly, brilliantly, with the lives of the villagers playing the parts.
It’s one of Woolf’s most lusciously lyrical novels. And it’s a crash course, of sorts, in her genius for conjuring worlds in which the molehill matters as much as the mountain, never mind their differences in size.
It’s also the most accessible of her greatest books. It could work for some as an entry point, in more or less the way William Faulkner’s “As I Lay Dying” (1930) can be the starter book before you go on to “The Sound and the Fury” (1929) or “Absalom, Absalom!” (1936).
As noted, there’s too much for us to read. We do the best we can.
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Culture
6 Poems You Should Know by Heart
Literature
‘Prayer’ (1985) by Galway Kinnell
Whatever happens. Whatever
what is is is what
I want. Only that. But that.
“I typically say Kinnell’s words at the start of my day, as I’m pedaling a traffic-laden path to my office,” says Major Jackson, 57, the author of six books of poetry, including “Razzle Dazzle” (2023). “The poem encourages a calm acceptance of the day’s events but also wants us to embrace the misapprehension and oblivion of life, to avoid probing too deeply for answers to inscrutable questions. I admire what Kinnell does with only 14 words; the repetition of ‘what,’ ‘that’ and ‘is’ would seem to limit the poem’s sentiment but, paradoxically, the poem opens widely to contain all manner of human experience. The three ‘is’es in the middle line give it a symmetry that makes its message feel part of a natural order, and even more convincing. Thanks to the skillful punctuation, pauses and staccato rhythm, a tonal quality of interior reflection emerges. Much like a haiku, it continues after its last words, lingering like the last note played on a piano that slowly fades.”
“Just as I was entering young adulthood, probably slow to claim romantic feelings, a girlfriend copied out a poem by Pablo Neruda and slipped it into an envelope with red lipstick kisses all over it. In turn, I recited this poem. It took me the remainder of that winter to memorize its lines,” says Jackson. “The poem captures the pitch of longing that defines love at its most intense. The speaker in Shakespeare’s most famous sonnet believes the poem creates the beloved, ‘So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, / So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.’ (Sonnet 18). In Rilke’s expressive declarations of yearning, the beloved remains elusive. Wherever the speaker looks or travels, she marks his world by her absence. I find this deeply moving.”
“Clifton faced many obstacles, including cancer, a kidney transplant and the loss of her husband and two of her children. Through it all, she crafted a long career as a pre-eminent American poet,” says Jackson. “Her poem ‘won’t you celebrate with me’ is a war cry, an invitation to share in her victories against life’s persistent challenges. The poem is meaningful to all who have had to stare down death in a hospital or had to bereave the passing of close relations. But, even for those who have yet to mourn life’s vicissitudes, the poem is instructive in cultivating resilience and a persevering attitude. I keep coming back to the image of the speaker’s hands and the spirit of steadying oneself in the face of unspeakable storms. She asks in a perfectly attuned gorgeously metrical line, ‘what did i see to be except myself?’”
‘Sonnet 94’ (1609) by William Shakespeare
They that have power to hurt and will do none,
That do not do the thing they most do show,
Who, moving others, are themselves as stone,
Unmovèd, cold, and to temptation slow,
They rightly do inherit heaven’s graces
And husband nature’s riches from expense;
They are the lords and owners of their faces,
Others but stewards of their excellence.
The summer’s flower is to the summer sweet,
Though to itself it only live and die;
But if that flower with base infection meet,
The basest weed outbraves his dignity.
For sweetest things turn sourest by their deeds;
Lilies that fester smell far worse than weeds.
“It’s one of the moments of Western consciousness,” says Frederick Seidel, 90, the author of more than a dozen collections of poetry, including “So What” (2024). “Shakespeare knows and says what he knows.”
“It trombones magnificent, unbearable sorrow,” says Seidel.
“It’s smartass and bitter and bright,” says Seidel.
These interviews have been edited and condensed.
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