Culture
Lionel Messi at the Club World Cup makes sense – but how he got there is ridiculous
FIFA isn’t hiding it anymore.
When you’re in desperate need of a big broadcast deal and some major American sponsors in the next few months, the time for subtlety has passed.
Lionel Messi Inter Miami have qualified — with the word qualified doing more heavy lifting than a skinflint picking up the bar tab after a big night out — for next summer’s new-fangled, massively-enlarged Club World Cup, to be played in the United States.
How and why have Lionel Messi Inter Miami been deemed worthy of a spot among the top 32 football clubs in the world? Why, by winning the 2024 Supporters’ Shield in MLS, of course!
And where is the first game of next summer’s tournament being held? In Miami, of course!
Inter Miami celebrate winning the Supporters’ Shield (Chris Arjoon/AFP via Getty Images)
If it all feels far too convenient, well, that’s because it is. Miami and Messi being involved in a worldwide tournament that is in aching need of being a financial success right out of the box makes sense for FIFA, but does it make sense to normal people?
By handing Miami a spot via the Supporters’ Shield, which is the trophy (OK, shield) handed to the MLS side with the best record over the regular season (but before the big end-of-season MLS Cup play-offs decide the champions), FIFA has shone a light on the legitimacy and authenticity of the new-look Club World Cup. Yes, set your faces to stunned.
To be fair to Miami, they have just broken the MLS record for most points won in a regular season, with 74 from 34 matches, a total reached on the final day of the campaign when they thrashed New England Revolution 6-2 with Messi scoring an 11-minute hat-trick off the bench and Luis Suarez netting twice.
It’s Miami’s first MLS silverware since joining the league as an expansion team in 2020, following on from their winning the Leagues Cup (a tournament for sides in MLS and Liga MX, the top division in Mexican club football) last year.
“You have shown that in the United States, you are consistently the best club on the field of play,” FIFA president Gianni Infantino, who was on the pitch at Miami’s home ground for the big Supporters’ Shield celebrations, said. “Therefore, I am proud to announce that, as one of the best clubs in the world, you are deserved participants in the new FIFA Club World Cup 2025.”
Could the first new-look Club World Cup really have taken place in the USA without Messi? (Chris Arjoon/AFP via Getty Images)
Whether you think Miami should be shoehorned into the tournament or not, there are two obvious points to take issue with from those quotes.
- Miami haven’t proved they are “consistently the best club” in the United States. They’ve definitely proved they’re the best club in the Eastern Conference of MLS, which is only half the United States (and a couple of bits of Canada). Yes, they went unbeaten in their six league games this season against Western Conference teams, but they only won three of them. It all feels a bit like saying Celtic have proved they’re the best side in the United Kingdom by winning the Scottish title.
- “One of the best clubs in the world”, Gianni, really? They might have some elderly legends playing for them, but if you can’t guarantee they’d beat, say, Crystal Palace in a one-off tie tomorrow, they don’t get that moniker.
Miami become the 31st club to reach the Club World Cup and the only ones to qualify solely via a domestic league. The other 30 so far have got in via continent-wide competitions or rankings among teams from said continent. In basic terms, either win a confederation tournament or have a good, consistent record in competitions involving sides from more than one nation.
Africa (by way of the CAF Champions League) has four teams going to the Club World Cup, as does Asia (AFC Champions League). Europe has 12 (UEFA Champions League), the North and Central America and the Caribbean region has four via the CONCACAF Champions League, South America (CONMEBOL Libertadores) has five and there is one from OFC via the continent’s ranking, namely Auckland City, and one from the host country, which is Miami.
How will the 32nd and final team qualify? Will FIFA give it to the Disney+ All Stars? Maybe a Mohammed bin Salman Select XI?
Well, no, it’ll be the 2024 Copa Libertadores champions, joining its winners from 2021 (Palmeiras), 2022 (Flamengo), 2023 (Fluminense) and the two highest-ranking clubs in the CONMEBOL confederation, River Plate and Boca Juniors. Fine. That works.
Even if the same criteria means Chelsea qualify because they won the 2021 Champions League final, a triumph which was that long ago it involved Roman Abramovich, Thomas Tuchel (four Chelsea managers ago), Timo Werner and Olivier Giroud, there is validation because they won Europe’s biggest tournament.
And even if the ranking criteria means Austria’s Red Bull Salzburg, who have lost their first two Champions League fixtures this season 3-0 and 4-0, somehow sneak in despite only progressing beyond the Champions League group stage on one occasion in the past four years, again, so be it. You be you, FIFA.
This isn’t a gripe about a team from the host country being handed a place in the competition. Far from it. There should be a home team in the tournament, just like the host nation is rightly guaranteed a place in the World Cup. FIFA couldn’t guarantee there would be a home team via CONCACAF (as it transpires, Seattle Sounders are involved having won the confederation’s Champions Cup in 2022), so to state from the outset that a U.S. side would be there isn’t an issue. Except they only announced yesterday that the Supporters’ Shield-winning team would qualify.
GO DEEPER
The Club World Cup Cup has venues at last – but so many questions still remain
How else should they have done it? A wildcard place to ensure some U.S. involvement wouldn’t have been unreasonable at all.
This is common in tennis, where top players who may not have a high enough ranking to reach one of the four Grand Sam events for whatever reason, such as a long-term injury, can be handed a place in Wimbledon or the U.S. Open. Goran Ivanisevic once won Wimbledon as a wildcard and Andy Murray and endless Brits have been handed places at the London tournament over the years. It boosts crowd numbers and TV audience figures.
Chucking Miami into the Club World Cup for the same reason, as a wildcard who would bring in bigger attendances and attract more eyes to maybe watch Messi versus old foes Real Madrid or his former Barcelona mentor Pep Guardiola and Manchester City, wouldn’t feel particularly wrong.
But by ham-fistedly making up the rules and giving the Supporters’ Shield team a spot instead of the MLS Cup winners (which Miami may well go on to win in early December) or maybe a one-off game between the Shield and Cup winners if they are different, you open yourself up to ridicule. Even more so when you’ve pre-emptively dubbed this the “greatest, most inclusive and merit-based global club competition” to have existed.
A competition that is already struggling for respectability just took another reputational hit.
(Top photos: Lionel Messi and Gianni Infantino; Getty Images)
Culture
What Happens When We Die? This Wallace Stevens Poem Has Thoughts.
Whatever you do, don’t think of a bird.
Now: What kind of bird are you not thinking about? A pigeon? A bald eagle? Something more poetic, like a skylark or a nightingale? In any case, would you say that this bird you aren’t thinking about is real?
Before you answer, read this poem, which is quite literally about not thinking of a bird.
Human consciousness is full of riddles. Neuroscientists, philosophers and dorm-room stoners argue continually about what it is and whether it even exists. For Wallace Stevens, the experience of having a mind was a perpetual source of wonder, puzzlement and delight — perfectly ordinary and utterly transcendent at the same time. He explored the mysteries and pleasures of consciousness in countless poems over the course of his long poetic career. It was arguably his great theme.
Stevens was born in 1879 and published his first book, “Harmonium,” in 1923, making him something of a late bloomer among American modernists. For much of his adult life, he worked as an executive for the Hartford Accident and Indemnity Company, rising to the rank of vice president. He viewed insurance less as a day job to support his poetry than as a parallel vocation. He pursued both activities with quiet diligence, spending his days at the office and composing poems in his head as he walked to and from work.
As a young man, Stevens dreamed of traveling to Europe, though he never crossed the Atlantic. In middle age he made regular trips to Florida, and his poems are frequently infused with ideas of Paris and Rome and memories of Key West. Others partake of the stringent beauty of New England. But the landscapes he explores, wintry or tropical, provincial or cosmopolitan, are above all mental landscapes, created by and in the imagination.
Are those worlds real?
Let’s return to the palm tree and its avian inhabitant, in that tranquil Key West sunset of the mind.
Until then, we find consolation in fangles.
Culture
Wil Wheaton Discusses ‘Stand By Me’ and Narrating ‘The Body’ Audiobook
When the director Rob Reiner cast his leads in the 1986 film “Stand by Me,” he looked for young actors who were as close as possible to the personalities of the four children they’d be playing. There was the wise beyond his years kid from a rough family (River Phoenix), the slightly dim worrywart (Jerry O’Connell), the cutup with a temper (Corey Feldman) and the sensitive, bookish boy.
Wil Wheaton was perfect for that last one, Gordie Lachance, a doe-eyed child who is ignored by his family in favor of his late older brother. Now, 40 years later, he’s traveling the country to attend anniversary screenings of the film, alongside O’Connell and Feldman, which has thrown him back into the turmoil that he felt as an adolescent.
Wheaton has channeled those emotions and his on-set memories into his latest project: narrating a new audiobook version of “The Body,” the 1982 Stephen King novella on which the film was based.
A few years ago, Wheaton started to float the idea of returning to the story that gave him his big break — that of a quartet of boys in 1959 Oregon, in their last days before high school, setting out to find a classmate’s dead body. “I’ve been telling the story of ‘Stand By Me’ since I was 12 years old,” he said.
But this time was different. Wheaton, who has narrated dozens of audiobooks, including Andy Weir’s “The Martian” and Ernest Cline’s “Ready Player One,” says he has come to enjoy narration more than screen acting. “I’m safe, I’m in the booth, nobody’s looking at me and I can just tell you a story.”
The fact that he, an older man looking back on his younger years, is narrating a story about an older man looking back on his younger years, is not lost on Wheaton. King’s original story is bathed in nostalgia. Coming to terms with death and loss is one of its primary themes.
Two days after appearing on stage at the Academy Awards as part of a tribute to Reiner — who was murdered in 2025 alongside his wife, Michele — Wheaton got on the phone to talk about recording the audiobook, reliving his favorite scenes from the film and reexamining a quintessential story of childhood loss through the lens of his own.
This interview has been edited and condensed.
“I felt really close to him, and my memory of him.”
Wheaton on channeling a co-star’s performance.
There’s this wonderful scene in “Stand By Me.” Gordie and Chris are walking down the tracks talking about junior high. Chris is telling Gordie, “I wish to hell I was your dad, because I care about you, and he obviously doesn’t.”
It’s just so honest and direct, in a way that kids talk to each other that adults don’t. And I think that one of the reasons that really sticks with people, and that piece really lands on a lot of audiences, and has for 40 years, is, just too many people have been Gordie in that scene.
That scene is virtually word for word taken from the text of the book. And when I was narrating that, I made a deliberate choice to do my best to recreate what River did in that scene.
“You’re just a kid,
Gordie–”
“I wish to fuck
I was your father!”
he said angrily.
“You wouldn’t go around
talking about takin those stupid shop courses if I was!
It’s like
God gave you something,
all those stories
you can make up, and He said:
This is what we got for you, kid.
Try not to lose it.
But kids lose everything
unless somebody looks out for them and if your folks
are too fucked up to do it
then maybe I ought to.”
I watched that scene a couple of times because I really wanted — I don’t know why it was so important to me to — well, I know: because I loved him, and I miss him. And I wanted to bring him into this as best as I could, right?
So I was reading that scene, and the words are identical to the script. And I had this very powerful flashback to being on the train tracks that day in Cottage Grove, Oregon. And I could see River standing next to them. They’re shooting my side of the scene and there’s River, right next to the camera, doing his off-camera dialogue, and there’s the sound guy, and there’s the boom operator. There’s my key light.
I could hear and feel it. It was the weirdest thing. It’s like I was right back there.
I was able to really take in the emotional memory of being Gordie in all of those scenes. So when I was narrating him and I’m me and I’m old with all of this experience, I just drew on what I remembered from being that little boy and what I remember of those friendships and what they meant to me and what they mean to me today.
“Rob gave me a gift. Rob gave me a career.”
Wheaton recalls the “Stand By Me” director’s way with kids on set, as well as his recent Oscars tribute.
Rob really encouraged us to be kids.
Jerry tells the most amazing story about that scene, where we were all sitting around, and doing our bit, and he improvised. He was just goofing around — we were just playing — and he said something about spitting water at the fat kid.
We get to the end of the scene, and he hears Rob. Rob comes around from behind the thing, and he goes, “Jerry!” And Jerry thinks, “Oh no, I’m in trouble. I’m in trouble because I improvised, and I’m not supposed to improvise.”
The context for Jerry is that he had been told by the adults in his life, “Sit on your hands and shut up. Stop trying to be a cutup. Stop trying to be funny. Stop disrupting people. Just be quiet.” And Jerry thinks, “Oh my God. I didn’t shut up. I’m in trouble. I’m gonna get fired.”
Rob leans in to all of us, and Rob says, “Hey, guys, do you see that? More of that. Do that!”
The whole time when you’re a kid actor, you’re just around all these adults who are constantly telling you to grow up. They’re mad that you’re being a kid. Rob just created an environment where not only was it supported that we would be kids — and have fun, and follow those kid instincts and do what was natural — it was expected. It was encouraged. We were supposed to do it.
They chanted together:
“I don’t shut up,
I grow up.
And when I look at you I throw up.”
“Then your mother goes around the corner
and licks it up,”
I said, and hauled ass out of there,
giving them the finger over my shoulder as I went.
I never had any friends later on
like the ones I had when I was twelve.
Jesus, did you?
When we were at the Oscars, I looked at Jerry. And we looked at this remarkable assemblage of the most amazingly talented, beautiful artists and storytellers. We looked around, and Jerry leans down, and he said, “We all got our start with Rob Reiner. He trusted every single one of us.”
And to stand there for him, when I really thought that I would be standing with him to talk about this stuff — it was a lot.
“I was really really really excited — like jumping up and down.”
The scene Wheaton was most looking forward to narrating: the tale of Lard Ass Hogan.
I was so excited to narrate it. It’s a great story! It’s a funny story. It’s such a lovely break — it’s an emotional and tonal shift from what’s happening in the movie.
I know this as a writer: You work to increase and release tension throughout a narrative, and Stephen King uses humor really effectively to release that tension. But it also raises the stakes, because we have these moments of joy and these moments of things being very silly in the midst of a lot of intensity.
That’s why the story of Lard Ass Hogan is so fun for me to tell. Because in the middle of that, we stop to do something that’s very, very fun, and very silly and very celebratory.
“Will you shut up and let him tell it?”
Teddy hollered.
Vern blinked.
“Sure. Yeah.
Okay.”
“Go on, Gordie,”
Chris said. “It’s not really much—”
“Naw,
we don’t expect much from a wet end like you,”
Teddy said,
“but tell it anyway.”
I cleared my throat. “So anyway.
It’s Pioneer Days,
and on the last night
they have these three big events.
There’s an egg-roll for the little kids and a sack-race for kids that are like eight or nine,
and then there’s the pie-eating contest.
And the main guy of the story
is this fat kid nobody likes
named Davie Hogan.”
When I narrate this story — whenever there is a moment of levity or humor, whenever there are those brief little moments that are the seasoning of the meal that makes it all so real and relatable — yes, it was very important to me to capture those moments.
I’m shifting in my chair, so I can feel each of those characters. It’s something that doesn’t exist in live action. It doesn’t exist in any other media.
“I feel the loss.”
Wheaton remembers River Phoenix.
The novella “The Body” is very much about Gordie remembering Chris. It’s darker, and it’s more painful, than the movie is.
I’ve been watching the movie on this tour and seeing River a lot. I remember him as a 14- and 15-year-old kid who just seemed so much older, and so much more experienced and so much wiser than me, and I’m only a year younger than him.
What hurts me now, and what I really felt when I was narrating this, is knowing what River was going through then. We didn’t know. I still don’t know the extent of how he was mistreated, but I know that he was. I know that adults failed him. That he should have been protected in every way that matters. And he just wasn’t.
And I, like Gordie, remember a boy who was loving. So loving, and generous and cared deeply about everyone around him, all the time. Who deserved to live a full life. Who had so much to offer the world. And it’s so unfair that he’s gone and taken from us. I had to go through a decades-long grieving process to come to terms with him dying.
Near the end
of 1971,
Chris
went into a Chicken Delight in Portland
to get a three-piece Snack Bucket.
Just ahead of him,
two men started arguing
about which one had been first in line. One of them pulled a knife.
Chris,
who had always been the best of us
at making peace,
stepped between them and was stabbed in the throat.
The man with the knife had spent time in four different institutions;
he had been released from Shawshank State Prison
only the week before.
Chris died almost instantly.
It is a privilege that I was allowed to tell this story. I get to tell Gordie Lachance’s story as originally imagined by Stephen King, with all of the experience of having lived my whole adult life with the memory of spending three months in Gordie Lachance’s skin.
Culture
Do You Know the Comics That Inspired These TV Adventures?
Welcome to Great Adaptations, the Book Review’s regular multiple-choice quiz about printed works that have gone on to find new life as movies, television shows, theatrical productions and more. This week’s challenge highlights offbeat television shows that began as comic books. Just tap or click your answers to the five questions below. And scroll down after you finish the last question for links to the comics and their screen versions.
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