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Glennon Doyle and the ‘We Can Do Hard Things’ on the Inspiration Behind Their New Book

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Glennon Doyle and the ‘We Can Do Hard Things’ on the Inspiration Behind Their New Book

Susan Hagen, 48, was practically vibrating with excitement. She would soon be in the same room with three women who had helped her through some of the shakiest, most vulnerable moments in her life, even though they didn’t know it.

Hagen, a New Jersey resident, had braved the pouring rain and Times Square crowds to attend a sold-out talk by the best-selling memoirist Glennon Doyle; her soccer Hall of Famer wife, Abby Wambach; and Amanda Doyle, Glennon’s sister and co-founder of the women’s media company — hosts of the podcast “We Can Do Hard Things.”

“The podcast has gotten me through so many things,” Hagen said, noting that she had read Glennon’s 2020 memoir, “Untamed,” no less than four times. Much like the author, Hagen got divorced and came out as gay in her 40s. The books, the podcast, all of it helps her feel as if she is not alone, she said.

It’s a sentiment I heard again and again when speaking to fans (mostly women) who filled the Town Hall theater in Manhattan on Monday — the woman in her 70s who, like Glennon, has been in eating disorder recovery for years; the queer woman in her 40s who, like Wambach, is navigating the ups and downs of stepparenting; the lawyers who give “Untamed” to clients reeling from the messiness of divorce.

“We can do hard things” has long been gospel for Glennon stans — it’s the title of the trio’s new book, out this week. The project was born, the women say, out of concurrent personal crises that walloped them as hard as anything had so far in their lives. They started writing it as a survival guide for themselves as much as anyone else.

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Over the course of a year, Wambach’s oldest brother, Peter, died unexpectedly; Glennon, who had struggled with disordered eating throughout her life, was diagnosed with anorexia; and Amanda was treated for breast cancer.

“For the first time,” Glennon wrote, “we were all drowning at the same time.”

At roughly 500 pages long, the new book is a compilation of snippets from conversations the women have had with 118 podcast guests they call “wayfinders” (in a metaphorical sense) — including Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson and their celebrity pals, like Elizabeth Gilbert and Brandi Carlile. The quotes are themed around what the authors believe to be the 20 life questions people tend to ruminate over. Among them: Why am I like this? How do I figure out what I want? Why can’t I be happy?

Though the “We Can Do Hard Things” crew are superstars in the self-help world, they are collectively confronting a kind of midlife existential ache and throwing up their hands as if to say: We don’t have any answers!

“I have these glimpses where life makes sense for, like, a millisecond at a time,” Amanda, 47, a lawyer who is known as “Sister” on the show, told me during an hourlong Zoom call with the threesome shortly before they were to head out on tour. But soon enough, she admitted, “I am back in a place where I am angry at everyone in my life, and I don’t know why I feel like crap, and suddenly that elusive peace is gone.”

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When I spoke to the women, the mood was friendly but subdued. They listened to one another attentively, occasionally chiming in with a “yes,” or “that’s good!” Glennon, who in “Untamed” exhorted women to tap into their inner, wild cheetahs, seemed especially reflective.

“It’s very funny because all of my work before this was like, ‘Look inside yourself, there are the answers,’” Glennon, 49, said. “Now at 50 I’m like, hmm. Sometimes I look inside myself, and myself is very confused.”

Though the women regularly field listener questions on the podcast — and quote themselves throughout the book — they bristled when I asked whether they were surprised that people would come to them for advice. Even the word feels “icky,” Amanda said. The women simply tell the truth about their life experiences, she insisted, without shame. And they are unafraid to ask hard, ugly questions.

“We backed into these questions, because over 400 conversations with the wisest people we know, it was obvious they were dealing with the same questions,” Amanda said. “If Brandi Carlile and Michelle Obama and Ina Garten and Roxane Gay are all struggling with these same things, it makes me feel like: ‘Oh, it’s just the human condition. It’s not that I’m failing to figure out life. It’s that this is the way life is.’”

These days, Glennon lives by the axiom that life is 49 percent “brutal,” she said, “just nonsensical mess.” But it is also 51 percent beautiful, and that 51 percent is what keeps her going. (The authors dedicated the book to their children with the inscription: 51 percent.)

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Her wife has embraced the Glennon-ism as well. “I’ve won gold medals,” Wambach, 44, said. “I’ve won world championships. Many people would say, ‘OK, you were living at 100 percent there!’ But my internal life didn’t experience that 100 percent.” Wambach struggled with depression and abused alcohol and prescription pain medications. She got sober after a very public D.U.I. arrest in 2016.

Now, on any given day, if she experiences 51 percent “enough-ness” and “contentedness,” Wambach said, “that was a banger of a day.”

Glennon admitted that sometimes when she shares ideas that she finds inspirational — like the 51 percent concept — with people in her life, they tell her, “That’s the most depressing thing I’ve ever heard,” she laughed. But the “We Can Do Hard Things” audience, the highly engaged Pod Squad, doesn’t seem to mind. Every week, several million listeners tune into episodes on topics like friendship, sex, loss, parenting and politics.

The crowd on Monday was rapturous — murmuring appreciatively when Amanda confessed to feeling emotionally stuck after her cancer diagnosis and erupting into laughter as Glennon told a story about a recent foray into microdosing mushrooms. They cheered when the women, who are outspoken critics of President Trump, joked about the political might of menopausal women, and belted along earnestly as Tish Melton, Glennon’s 19-year-old daughter, closed out the show with her original song “We Can Do Hard Things.” (It is the podcast’s theme song.)

But the women inspire equally fervent dislike as well, with some observers accusing them of navel-gazing and narcissism. Glennon recently quit social media — a change she said was as good for her heart and nervous system as quitting drinking was — and began a paywalled newsletter on Substack to avoid trolls, she said. She abruptly left the platform amid accusations she was siphoning off readers from less-established writers. “I thought it might feel different than social media,” she wrote in an email after the New York show. “It didn’t.”

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A side effect of being very public people — who talk about very personal stuff — is that the women seldom make it through the grocery store without someone confiding in them, or asking a difficult question.

Glennon, an avowed introvert, tries to see those interactions as a two-way street: If she has built a following based on being raw and vulnerable, she expects fans to roll with it if she is candid with them about catching her on a bad day.

“I actually don’t have to put on a fake smile, entertain, be a fake version of myself in that moment,” Glennon said, seemingly to herself as much as to me. “That’s what I tried to do for 10 years, to constantly make the other person comfortable, because I felt like I owed the moment something. And that made me very tired and confused and stressed out.”

But the Pod Squad seems to find comfort in the women’s commitment to honesty and in their aversion to the idea that anyone — least of all them — has the answers.

“There’s a difference between saying to people, ‘Here’s a map,’” Glennon told me, “and saying to people, ‘Here are some snapshots from the trip I took when I walked that road.’”

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Closed-Door Romance Books That Will Make You Swoon

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Closed-Door Romance Books That Will Make You Swoon

As a lifelong fan of romantic comedies, my list of favorite “sweet” romances is extensive.

Not because I have a spice aversion — but because the rom-coms I love most, with that classic cinematic vibe, often come with fewer peppers on the spice scale.

Some people refer to these books as “closed door.” I prefer to think of them as “in the hall” romances (though that admittedly doesn’t roll off the tongue quite the same way). The reader is there for all the swoon, the burn and the banter — but when things head to the bedroom, the reader remains out in the hallway. With less focus on what happens inside the boudoir, all that juicy heightened tension and yearning really shine. Here are a few of my favorites.

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Book Review: ‘Seek the Traitor’s Son,’ by Veronica Roth

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Book Review: ‘Seek the Traitor’s Son,’ by Veronica Roth

SEEK THE TRAITOR’S SON, by Veronica Roth


I read Veronica Roth’s new novel for adults, “Seek the Traitor’s Son,” over one weekend and had a hard time putting it down, and not just because I was procrastinating on my house chores.

There’s much about the novel one would expect from Roth, the author of the Divergent series, one of the hottest dystopian young adult series of the 2010s. Thematically, the novels are similar. Like “Divergent,” this new book is also set in an alternate, dystopian version of our world; it is also packed with vivid, present-tense prose full of capitalized labels to let you know that something different is going on; and it also centers on a classic “Chosen One” who is burdened by the mantle of savior she carries.

These are classic tropes, but I, like many other genre fiction fans, enjoy that familiarity. Still, I’m always hoping for a subversion, a tornado twist that sucks me into imagination land.

In “Seek the Traitor’s Son,” our Chosen One is Elegy Ahn, the spare heir of the most powerful woman in Cedre. Elegy likes her life, even if it’s filled with danger. See, some time ago, a virus took over the world. The contagion is strange: Everyone who is infected dies, but 50 percent of the people who die come back to life with mysterious cognitive gifts.

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After the outbreak, Earth split into two factions: The dominant Talusar, who worship the Fever, believe it is a divine gift, willingly infect themselves with it and consider anyone who does not submit to it a blasphemer; and Cedre, a small country made up of everyone who rejects the virus and the dogma around it. They are, naturally, at war.

Early in the book, Elegy, solidly on the Cedre side, and Rava Vidar, a brutal Talusar general, are summoned by an order of prophets who tell them: One of you will lead your people to victory over the other, and one of the deciding factors involves an unnamed man whom Elegy is prophesied to fall in love with.

Elegy doesn’t want this. But the prophecy spurs the Talusar into action, and so her mother assigns her a Talusaran refugee as a knight and forces her into the fray as the Hope of Cedre.

If that seems like a lot of setup, don’t worry. That’s just the first few chapters. Besides, if you know those dystopian novel tropes, you’ll get the hang of it. Roth gets through the world exposition quickly, and after a rather jarring time skip, the plot takes off, effectively and entertainingly driving readers to the novel’s exhilarating end.

The strength of “Seek the Traitor’s Son” is Roth’s character work. Elegy is a dynamic heroine. She has a lot to lose, and she leads with love, which is reflected in the intense grief she feels for the people she’s lost in the war and the life the prophecy took from her. It’s love that makes her stop running from her destiny and do what she thinks is right to save the people she has left.

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Many authors isolate their characters to back them into bad decisions, so it’s refreshing that Roth has given Elegy a community to support her. Her sister Hela in particular is a treat. She’s refreshingly grounded, and often gives a much needed reprieve from the melodrama of the other characters’ lives. (She has an important subplot that has to do with a glowing alien plant, but the real reason you should pay attention to her is that she’s funny, loves her sister so much, has cool friends and listens to gay romance novels.) Hela and Elegy’s unwavering loyalty to each other casts a positive illumination on both characters.

My favorite character is Theren, Elegy’s knight, who is kind and empathetic to everyone but himself. As the obvious romantic lead, his character most diverges from genre standard because of the nuanced depiction of his trauma. He has been so broken by his experiences that he thinks what he can do with his body is all he can offer, and it’s worth nothing to him.

But like I said, I need subversion, and for all the creative world-building, I didn’t quite get it. The most distinct part of the novel was the setting and structure of alternate Earth, as well as the subcultures born from that setting. But after ripping through the novel, I found that those details didn’t provide nourishment for thought, and the general handwaviness of the technology and history of Earth was distractingly easy to nitpick.

I am a greedy reader, so I want my books to have everything: romance, action, an intellectual theme, novel ideas about the future, and character development. “Seek the Traitor’s Son” comes close. The novel is the first in a series, and I’m willing to hold my reservations until I read the next book. Elegy and Theren are worth it.


SEEK THE TRAITOR’S SON | By Veronica Roth | Tor | 416 pp. | $29

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Revolution is the Theme at the Firsts London Book Fair

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Revolution is the Theme at the Firsts London Book Fair

To mark the 250th anniversary of the U.S. Declaration of Independence, “Revolution” is the timely theme of the Firsts London book fair, opening Thursday in the contemporary art spaces of the Saatchi Gallery.

The fair, running Thursday through Sunday, will feature 100 dealers’ booths on three floors of the neoclassical, early 19th-century building in the upscale Chelsea neighborhood and will take place at a moment of geopolitical convulsion, if not revolution. It also coincides with a profound change in reading habits: Fewer people read for pleasure, and when they do, more often it is on a screen. And yet some physical books are fetching record prices.

Why is that? Clues can be found at Firsts London, regarded as Britain’s pre-eminent fair devoted to collectible books, maps, manuscripts and ephemera. Dealers will be responding to the revolution theme by showing a curated selection of items that document political upheavals over the centuries.

While the organizers — members of the nonprofit Antiquarian Bookseller’s Association and the International League of Antiquarian Booksellers — have been eager to expand the theme to include material that throws light on revolutions in other realms such as science and social attitudes, the momentousness of the Declaration’s anniversary has spurred dealers to bring items with ties to 18th-century America.

The New York-based dealer James Cummins Bookseller, for instance, will be offering a 1775 London printing of Congress’s declaration of the “Causes and Necessity of Taking Up Arms” against the British authorities. Mostly written by John Dickinson and Thomas Jefferson and published just a year before the Declaration of Independence, the document represents a decisive moment in the colonies’ struggle for self-determination. It is priced at $22,500.

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“We’re generalists. We’re bringing a bit of everything,” said Jeremy Markowitz, a specialist on American books at Cummins. “But this year, because of the anniversary, we’re bringing Americana that we otherwise wouldn’t have brought.”

The London dealer Shapero Rare Books will be showing a letter written in January 1797 by Thomas Paine, one of the most influential Founding Fathers, to his friend Col. John Fellows who had served with the American militia during the Revolutionary War. The text reiterates the views of Paine’s open letter to George Washington, urging him to retire from the presidency, fearing that the office might become hereditary. With an asking price of 95,000 pounds, or about $130,000. Paine’s letter to Fellows was written just weeks before Washington stood down in March at the end of his second term, a practice later enshrined in the 22nd Amendment limiting presidents to two terms.

Bernard Quaritch, another London bookseller, will be exhibiting a first edition in book form of “The Federalist Papers,” the celebrated collection of essays written in favor of the new Constitution by Alexander Hamilton, James Madison and John Jay from 1787-1788. (These texts are mentioned in Lin-Manuel Miranda’s award-winning musical “Hamilton.”) In its original binding, with the pages uncut and largely unopened, this pioneering work of U.S. political philosophy is priced at £220,000.

The fair, like the United States, has gone through its own process of reinvention. It is the sixth annual edition of Firsts London, but its origins stretch from 1958, when its more traditional forerunner, the London International Antiquarian Book Fair, was founded.

The rebranded Firsts London was initially held at an exhibition space in Battersea Park in 2019, then transferred to the Saatchi in 2021. (There is also Firsts New York and Firsts Hong Kong.) Last year the event attracted an estimated 5,000 visitors over its four days, according to the organizers, and notable sales were made.

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“Book fairs are now part of the ‘experience culture.’ In an age where everything is available at a click, fairs have to present themselves in a different way,” the exhibitor Daniel Crouch said.

Crouch will be showing two late-18th-century engraved maps printed on paper of New York by Bernard Ratzer, an engineer commissioned by the British to survey the city and its environs in 1766 and 1767 in case it became a battlefield. Ratzer’s large three-sheet map of the southern end of Manhattan and part of New Jersey and Brooklyn is priced at £240,000; his smaller map of south Manhattan at £25,000. Both date from January 1776, just six months before the Declaration of Independence was adopted in Philadelphia on July 4, 1776.

Other revolutions are also represented. The cover design of Millicent Fawcett ’s classic 1920 Suffragists tract, “The Women’s Victory — and After,” from the collection of the Senate House Library at the University of London, is the poster image for the event and the library is lending the entire pamphlet for display at the fair.

Scientific revolutions are represented by items like a 1976 first edition of Richard Dawkins’s book “The Selfish Gene,” offered at £2,250 by Ashton Rare Books of Market Harborough in Leicestershire, England. Fold the Corner Books in Surrey is offering a handwritten letter by an anonymous British spy describing scenes in Paris in 1791 during the French Revolution, and the dealers at Peter Harrington are bringing a Chinese parade banner from the Cultural Revolution. The banner and the letter are each priced at £750.

While the U.S. document’s anniversary has spurred many exhibitors to show rare 18th-century American items, the organizers stressed the fair’s wider remit.

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“We wanted to do something related to our cousins over the water, but something a bit broader than just the American Revolution,” said Tom Lintern-Mole, the chairman of this year’s London fair.

“Revolution is a concept,” he said. “It encompasses everything to do with our world. Printing itself was a revolution. It helps foment revolutions. We like to think that books make history, as well as being artifacts of it.”

In terms of making sales, science fiction and science and fantasy are genres that many traders see as the key growth areas, because of, in great part, recent Hollywood adaptations. “Affluent younger collectors are moving the needle in the market,” said Pom Harrington, owner of Peter Harrington.

Cummins is offering a 1965 first edition of “Dune” for $16,500, while the London-based Foster Books will be asking £22,500 for a 1954-1955 three-volume first edition of “The Lord of the Rings” by J.R.R. Tolkien. It is sumptuously covered in red morocco leather by the binders at Bayntun Riviere.

And with the rise of tech, online sales have increasingly replaced high street transactions, resulting in many rare-book shops closing. Tom W. Ayling, who trades from his home in Oxfordshire and is exhibiting at Firsts London, is one of the most prominent of a cohort of young dealers who sell online and at fairs without the expense of a shop.

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“I get almost all my customers through social media,” said Ayling, who has about 298,000 followers on Instagram alone.

Tolkien is a favorite subject for his engaging, regular video posts. Ayling will be bringing a copy of the author’s extremely rare collection of poems, “Songs for the Philologists.” Printed in 1936, only about 15 copies of the collection are known. Ayling is asking £65,000 for this one.

“I put as much content out there as I can to get people interested in book collecting,” Ayling said. “I want to widen the arcane world of book collecting to a mass audience.”

A mass audience collecting — let alone reading — books? That really would be a revolution.

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