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Cristiano Ronaldo's fragile ego is rather sad for someone who has achieved so much

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Cristiano Ronaldo's fragile ego is rather sad for someone who has achieved so much

A clip did the rounds on social media after the Carabao Cup final last weekend. We won’t share it here because the dum-dums responsible don’t need any more attention than they have already received, but it essentially involved some supposed Liverpool fans near the steps up to the Wembley Royal Box filming the defeated Chelsea players as they trudged to collect their runners-up medals and directing a series of witless taunts at them.

They hissed at ‘the snake’ Raheem Sterling, who left their club almost a decade ago. They also politely enquired after Moises Caicedo’s mother, who was seemingly a factor in his decision to move to Stamford Bridge rather than Anfield in the summer: absolutely normal behaviour from grown adults.

None of the players involved even seemed to raise an eyebrow in response, which was pretty amazing when under the circumstances and with family members having been brought into it all, you would understand if they went full Cantona.

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Actually, maybe it isn’t that amazing: as a footballer you must have to develop some sort of deflector shield, an impenetrable bubble around your head so you literally don’t hear stuff like that, or if you do it just drops into some dead space in your brain, never actually registering with your consciousness. There’s no upside to reacting: you appear petty and in the finest tradition of a parent telling their child not to rise to the bullies, you give them more satisfaction than they deserve.

Which is a roundabout way of getting to Cristiano Ronaldo, who did react to taunts from the crowd and has been duly punished for it.

Ronaldo has been given a one-game ban by the Saudi Pro League and penalised to the tune of 30,000 Saudi riyals (£6,332; $8,000) in fines and fees for making what has been described as an ‘obscene gesture’ at fans during his Al Nassr side’s recent 3-2 win over Al Shabab.


Ronaldo playing for Al Nassr (Yasser Bakhsh/Getty Images)

This was seemingly in response to something that he has been subject to for much of his career: chants of ‘Messi, Messi’ from the stands. Ronaldo cupped his ears then half squatted and made an odd hand gesture near his crotch: if you were being completely innocent it might look like he was polishing a tabletop, but if you weren’t it might look like… well, you get the idea.

A few things sprang to mind after this. One is that, in opposition to Sterling and Caicedo, it’s clear that it doesn’t take much to get a reaction out of Ronaldo, one of the most famous men on the planet who is presumably very used to being shouted at by a faceless crowd.

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He and Messi have been involved in this sort of terminally tedious death grapple for about 15 years now, the pair constantly pitted against and compared to each other. You can thus see why it will have become incredibly tiresome, to say the least, particularly given they haven’t actually played in the same league as each other since 2018 and haven’t been on the same pitch in a competitive game together since 2020.

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For Messi vs Ronaldo, read U.S vs Saudi – a new twist in a famous rivalry

Neither now plays in Europe and both their most significant achievements are now almost certainly in the past. The Messi-Ronaldo rivalry isn’t really a thing anymore, at least not to the rest of the world.

But clearly, it still is to Ronaldo, a little insecurity worm that has burrowed into his soul and is lodged there. Why else would he bother to respond at the mere mention of Messi’s name?

The two situations aren’t perfect comparisons and are partly only brought together here because they both happened in the past week or so, but it is remarkable how Sterling and Caicedo could ignore much more personal abuse from closer proximity, while all it took was mention of another man’s name to provoke a reaction from Ronaldo.

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It’s very far from the first time, too. Just last November, Ronaldo shushed a crowd during Al Nassr’s game against Al Ettifaq when the ‘Messi, Messi’ chant was rolled out by another unimaginative bunch. In the wider scheme of things, this is all very minor stuff, but you do wonder about the fragility of a man’s ego that the mere mention of a rival player’s name even registers, let alone inspires a response of any kind, let alone one that gets you suspended.

The whole thing probably isn’t ideal for the Saudi Pro League project, either. Ronaldo was their marquee signing and he has been a success in that he has scored buckets of goals and attracted plenty of interest, but it wasn’t in the plan for their key player, one of the main legitimising factors for the league, to be suspended like this.

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One year of Cristiano Ronaldo in Saudi Arabia

Throw in Jordan Henderson leaving after six months and the continued soap opera around Karim Benzema and it’s been a mixed bag since they started throwing money around the place.

For Ronaldo, it’s difficult to put your finger on what it is about all this that is so bleak, but it could be because it’s all so undignified for everyone involved. Despite being a quasi-super-human and an absolute freak of an athlete, he has limited time left in his career, so it just feels slightly sad that this is how he is spending his last days as a footballer.

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Playing in a substandard league — which was not the plan, no matter how hard he insists otherwise — still haunted by the ghost of the man he has been compared to for his whole career, but who hasn’t really been relevant to him for close to half a decade. It could all have been very different.


Ronaldo and Messi playing against each other in 2020 (David Ramos/Getty Images)

Perhaps this is the internal hell of the hyper-driven mentality of someone like Ronaldo. Nothing but being considered the best is good enough, so even the mention of the one guy who could deny him that title, in his generation at least, is enough to set him off.

He will dry his eyes on his incredible wealth and an extraordinary list of achievements, but you’re left with a sense that he will never really be satisfied when the time comes to look back on his career.

For someone who has achieved as much as he has, it all feels quite bleak.

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(Top photo: Yasser Bakhsh/Getty Images)

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What Happens When We Die? This Wallace Stevens Poem Has Thoughts.

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What Happens When We Die? This Wallace Stevens Poem Has Thoughts.

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Whatever you do, don’t think of a bird.

Now: What kind of bird are you not thinking about? A pigeon? A bald eagle? Something more poetic, like a skylark or a nightingale? In any case, would you say that this bird you aren’t thinking about is real?

Before you answer, read this poem, which is quite literally about not thinking of a bird.

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Human consciousness is full of riddles. Neuroscientists, philosophers and dorm-room stoners argue continually about what it is and whether it even exists. For Wallace Stevens, the experience of having a mind was a perpetual source of wonder, puzzlement and delight — perfectly ordinary and utterly transcendent at the same time. He explored the mysteries and pleasures of consciousness in countless poems over the course of his long poetic career. It was arguably his great theme.

Stevens was born in 1879 and published his first book, “Harmonium,” in 1923, making him something of a late bloomer among American modernists. For much of his adult life, he worked as an executive for the Hartford Accident and Indemnity Company, rising to the rank of vice president. He viewed insurance less as a day job to support his poetry than as a parallel vocation. He pursued both activities with quiet diligence, spending his days at the office and composing poems in his head as he walked to and from work.

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Wallace Stevens in 1950.

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Walter Sanders/The LIFE Picture Collection, via Shutterstock

As a young man, Stevens dreamed of traveling to Europe, though he never crossed the Atlantic. In middle age he made regular trips to Florida, and his poems are frequently infused with ideas of Paris and Rome and memories of Key West. Others partake of the stringent beauty of New England. But the landscapes he explores, wintry or tropical, provincial or cosmopolitan, are above all mental landscapes, created by and in the imagination.

Are those worlds real?

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Let’s return to the palm tree and its avian inhabitant, in that tranquil Key West sunset of the mind.

Until then, we find consolation in fangles.

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Wil Wheaton Discusses ‘Stand By Me’ and Narrating ‘The Body’ Audiobook

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Wil Wheaton Discusses ‘Stand By Me’ and Narrating ‘The Body’ Audiobook

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When the director Rob Reiner cast his leads in the 1986 film “Stand by Me,” he looked for young actors who were as close as possible to the personalities of the four children they’d be playing. There was the wise beyond his years kid from a rough family (River Phoenix), the slightly dim worrywart (Jerry O’Connell), the cutup with a temper (Corey Feldman) and the sensitive, bookish boy.

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Wil Wheaton was perfect for that last one, Gordie Lachance, a doe-eyed child who is ignored by his family in favor of his late older brother. Now, 40 years later, he’s traveling the country to attend anniversary screenings of the film, alongside O’Connell and Feldman, which has thrown him back into the turmoil that he felt as an adolescent.

Wheaton has channeled those emotions and his on-set memories into his latest project: narrating a new audiobook version of “The Body,” the 1982 Stephen King novella on which the film was based.

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“I like there to be a freshness, a discovery and an immediacy to my narration,” Wheaton said. He recorded “The Body” in his home studio in California. Alex Welsh for The New York Times

A few years ago, Wheaton started to float the idea of returning to the story that gave him his big break — that of a quartet of boys in 1959 Oregon, in their last days before high school, setting out to find a classmate’s dead body. “I’ve been telling the story of ‘Stand By Me’ since I was 12 years old,” he said.

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But this time was different. Wheaton, who has narrated dozens of audiobooks, including Andy Weir’s “The Martian” and Ernest Cline’s “Ready Player One,” says he has come to enjoy narration more than screen acting. “I’m safe, I’m in the booth, nobody’s looking at me and I can just tell you a story.”

The fact that he, an older man looking back on his younger years, is narrating a story about an older man looking back on his younger years, is not lost on Wheaton. King’s original story is bathed in nostalgia. Coming to terms with death and loss is one of its primary themes.

Two days after appearing on stage at the Academy Awards as part of a tribute to Reiner — who was murdered in 2025 alongside his wife, Michele — Wheaton got on the phone to talk about recording the audiobook, reliving his favorite scenes from the film and reexamining a quintessential story of childhood loss through the lens of his own.

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This interview has been edited and condensed.

“I felt really close to him, and my memory of him.”

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Wheaton on channeling a co-star’s performance.

There’s this wonderful scene in “Stand By Me.” Gordie and Chris are walking down the tracks talking about junior high. Chris is telling Gordie, “I wish to hell I was your dad, because I care about you, and he obviously doesn’t.”

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It’s just so honest and direct, in a way that kids talk to each other that adults don’t. And I think that one of the reasons that really sticks with people, and that piece really lands on a lot of audiences, and has for 40 years, is, just too many people have been Gordie in that scene.

That scene is virtually word for word taken from the text of the book. And when I was narrating that, I made a deliberate choice to do my best to recreate what River did in that scene.

“The Body” Read by Wil Wheaton

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“You’re just a kid,

Gordie–”

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“I wish to fuck

I was your father!”

he said angrily.

“You wouldn’t go around

talking about takin those stupid shop courses

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if I was!

It’s like

God gave you something,

all those stories

you can make up,

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and He said:

This is what we got for you, kid.

Try not to lose it.

But kids lose everything

unless somebody looks out for them

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and if your folks

are too fucked up to do it

then maybe I ought to.”

I watched that scene a couple of times because I really wanted — I don’t know why it was so important to me to — well, I know: because I loved him, and I miss him. And I wanted to bring him into this as best as I could, right?

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So I was reading that scene, and the words are identical to the script. And I had this very powerful flashback to being on the train tracks that day in Cottage Grove, Oregon. And I could see River standing next to them. They’re shooting my side of the scene and there’s River, right next to the camera, doing his off-camera dialogue, and there’s the sound guy, and there’s the boom operator. There’s my key light.

I could hear and feel it. It was the weirdest thing. It’s like I was right back there.

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I was able to really take in the emotional memory of being Gordie in all of those scenes. So when I was narrating him and I’m me and I’m old with all of this experience, I just drew on what I remembered from being that little boy and what I remember of those friendships and what they meant to me and what they mean to me today.

“Rob gave me a gift. Rob gave me a career.”

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Wheaton recalls the “Stand By Me” director’s way with kids on set, as well as his recent Oscars tribute.

Rob really encouraged us to be kids.

Jerry tells the most amazing story about that scene, where we were all sitting around, and doing our bit, and he improvised. He was just goofing around — we were just playing — and he said something about spitting water at the fat kid.

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We get to the end of the scene, and he hears Rob. Rob comes around from behind the thing, and he goes, “Jerry!” And Jerry thinks, “Oh no, I’m in trouble. I’m in trouble because I improvised, and I’m not supposed to improvise.”

The context for Jerry is that he had been told by the adults in his life, “Sit on your hands and shut up. Stop trying to be a cutup. Stop trying to be funny. Stop disrupting people. Just be quiet.” And Jerry thinks, “Oh my God. I didn’t shut up. I’m in trouble. I’m gonna get fired.”

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Rob leans in to all of us, and Rob says, “Hey, guys, do you see that? More of that. Do that!”

Rob Reiner in 1985, directing the child actors of “Stand By Me,” including Wil Wheaton, at left. Columbia/Kobal, via Shutterstock

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The whole time when you’re a kid actor, you’re just around all these adults who are constantly telling you to grow up. They’re mad that you’re being a kid. Rob just created an environment where not only was it supported that we would be kids — and have fun, and follow those kid instincts and do what was natural — it was expected. It was encouraged. We were supposed to do it.

“The Body” Read by Wil Wheaton

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They chanted together:

“I don’t shut up,

I grow up.

And when I look at you

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I throw up.”

“Then your mother goes around the corner

and licks it up,”

I said,

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and hauled ass out of there,

giving them the finger over my shoulder as I went.

I never had any friends later on

like the ones I had when I was twelve.

Jesus,

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did you?

When we were at the Oscars, I looked at Jerry. And we looked at this remarkable assemblage of the most amazingly talented, beautiful artists and storytellers. We looked around, and Jerry leans down, and he said, “We all got our start with Rob Reiner. He trusted every single one of us.”

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Jerry O’Connell and Wheaton joined more than a dozen actors from Reiner’s films to honor the slain director at the Academy Awards on March 15, 2026. Kevin Winter/Getty Images

And to stand there for him, when I really thought that I would be standing with him to talk about this stuff — it was a lot.

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“I was really really really excited — like jumping up and down.”

The scene Wheaton was most looking forward to narrating: the tale of Lard Ass Hogan.

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I was so excited to narrate it. It’s a great story! It’s a funny story. It’s such a lovely break — it’s an emotional and tonal shift from what’s happening in the movie.

I know this as a writer: You work to increase and release tension throughout a narrative, and Stephen King uses humor really effectively to release that tension. But it also raises the stakes, because we have these moments of joy and these moments of things being very silly in the midst of a lot of intensity. ​​

That’s why the story of Lard Ass Hogan is so fun for me to tell. Because in the middle of that, we stop to do something that’s very, very fun, and very silly and very celebratory.

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“The Body” Read by Wil Wheaton

“Will you shut up

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and let him tell it?”

Teddy hollered.

Vern blinked.

“Sure.

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Yeah.

Okay.”

“Go on, Gordie,”

Chris said.

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“It’s not really much—”

“Naw,

we don’t expect much

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from a wet end like you,”

Teddy said,

“but tell it anyway.”

I cleared my throat.

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“So anyway.

It’s Pioneer Days,

and on the last night

they have these three big events.

There’s an egg-roll for the little kids

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and a sack-race for kids that are like eight or nine,

and then there’s the pie-eating contest.

And the main guy of the story

is this fat kid nobody likes

named Davie Hogan.”

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When I narrate this story — whenever there is a moment of levity or humor, whenever there are those brief little moments that are the seasoning of the meal that makes it all so real and relatable — yes, it was very important to me to capture those moments.

I’m shifting in my chair, so I can feel each of those characters. It’s something that doesn’t exist in live action. It doesn’t exist in any other media.

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“I feel the loss.”

Wheaton remembers River Phoenix.

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The novella “The Body” is very much about Gordie remembering Chris. It’s darker, and it’s more painful, than the movie is.

I’ve been watching the movie on this tour and seeing River a lot. I remember him as a 14- and 15-year-old kid who just seemed so much older, and so much more experienced and so much wiser than me, and I’m only a year younger than him.

What hurts me now, and what I really felt when I was narrating this, is knowing what River was going through then. We didn’t know. I still don’t know the extent of how he was mistreated, but I know that he was. I know that adults failed him. That he should have been protected in every way that matters. And he just wasn’t.

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And I, like Gordie, remember a boy who was loving. So loving, and generous and cared deeply about everyone around him, all the time. Who deserved to live a full life. Who had so much to offer the world. And it’s so unfair that he’s gone and taken from us. I had to go through a decades-long grieving process to come to terms with him dying.

“The Body” Read by Wil Wheaton

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Near the end

of 1971,

Chris

went into a Chicken Delight

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in Portland

to get a three-piece Snack Bucket.

Just ahead of him,

two men started arguing

about which one had been first in line.

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One of them pulled a knife.

Chris,

who had always been the best of us

at making peace,

stepped between them

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and was stabbed in the throat.

The man with the knife had spent time in four different institutions;

he had been released from Shawshank State Prison

only the week before.

Chris died almost instantly.

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It is a privilege that I was allowed to tell this story. I get to tell Gordie Lachance’s story as originally imagined by Stephen King, with all of the experience of having lived my whole adult life with the memory of spending three months in Gordie Lachance’s skin.

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Do You Know the Comics That Inspired These TV Adventures?

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Do You Know the Comics That Inspired These TV Adventures?

Welcome to Great Adaptations, the Book Review’s regular multiple-choice quiz about printed works that have gone on to find new life as movies, television shows, theatrical productions and more. This week’s challenge highlights offbeat television shows that began as comic books. Just tap or click your answers to the five questions below. And scroll down after you finish the last question for links to the comics and their screen versions.

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