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We don't know how to behave in the office anymore, bosses say. The solution? Charm school

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We don't know how to behave in the office anymore, bosses say. The solution? Charm school

You walk into the office kitchen to heat up your lunch and are greeted by a mess. Your co-worker Bridget has left the communal area in disarray — again.

You’re frustrated. Where do you go from here?

Do you shame Bridget and make her feel bad? That might make you feel righteous in the moment, but is that actually helpful? Are you helping to improve your workplace — and most important, ensuring a clean kitchen the next time — by unloading on her? What’s the end goal here?

This is a hypothetical scenario, one used frequently by business etiquette trainer Kate Zabriskie as she helps office workers and managers think through best practices for harmonious and productive workplaces. But workers throughout the U.S. are dealing with their own Bridgets every day — or are one.

As companies increasingly recall workers to the office, employees and managers alike are finding that the pandemic made us all a little rusty with in-person conduct. Co-workers are too loud at their desks. People are on their phones during meetings. Shaking hands is no longer a given. Small talk at networking events is … awkward.

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Bosses’ solution to this stilted behavior? Charm school.

Business etiquette instructor Theresa Thomas works with student Tran Phat Chau to teach the proper way to hold utensils while cutting food during a dining etiquette class for students from Irvine Valley College.

(Gina Ferazzi / Los Angeles Times)

More than 6 in 10 companies will send their employees to office etiquette classes by 2024, according to a July survey of 1,548 business leaders by ResumeBuilder.com.

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“It’s a shifting environment,” said Zabriskie, president and owner of Maryland-based Business Training Works Inc., a workplace etiquette and soft skills firm that has recently gotten more requests from companies for basic civility training. “We’re all coming back together. We want to … make sure we have a shared agreement about what’s acceptable and what’s not acceptable in the workplace.”

Before the pandemic, the Swann School of Protocol would go out to workplaces about once or twice a month to help train staff on business etiquette. Now, it gets four to six requests a month, said Elaine Swann, founder of the Carlsbad-based training institute.

“The soft skills that are necessary to have a harmonious workplace were not being used” when everyone was home working in their pajamas, she said. “Utilizing those skills is almost like a muscle. If you’re not using that muscle, it can become weak.”

Business etiquette training can include a wide variety of topics — professionalism in the office and on Zoom, giving feedback, proper dress code, remembering names and how to conduct oneself during a business lunch.

On a recent weekday, a group of Irvine Valley College students dressed in their professional best gathered at an Italian restaurant to learn how to navigate a multi-course business meal with savvy and finesse. In hushed tones and with minimal clinking, the students handled the multiple utensils, broke off small pieces of bread to butter and resisted the impolite urge to blow on their hot soup.

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The fine dining class was the last lesson in their course on business etiquette. The students are in the Guaranteed Accounting Program, or GAP4+1, a partnership between Irvine Valley College and Cal State Fullerton that sets up participants to get associate’s, bachelor’s and master’s degrees in accounting in five years.

Student Simran Bhogle learns the proper way to eat soup during a dining etiquette class for accounting students from Irvine Valley College and Cal State Fullerton at Il Fornaio restaurant in Irvine.

(Gina Ferazzi / Los Angeles Times)

So much of accounting involves face-to-face contact with clients, or at a minimum, extensive interviews with employers to get a job. It’s why Irvine Valley College has placed so much emphasis on this business etiquette course, which a school representative said turns students into highly recruited “diamonds.”

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Kevin Nguyen, 32, an Irvine Valley College sophomore, said previous lessons on professionalism taught him the importance of introductions and proper business attire — key components he plans to use in future interviews.

“When you come from high school, there’s no formalities. It’s very informal,” said Nguyen, who previously worked as a high-class server, caterer and driver before deciding to go to school for accounting. “I think this course makes me stand apart. There’s not really any classes that teach you how to be business professional.”

In a recent survey on office decorum, nearly 75% of respondents said they’d take advantage of business etiquette courses if they were offered by their employer, including 93% of Gen Z survey respondents.

Common complaints from hybrid and in-office employees included loud talking, office gossip and not being prepared for meetings, according to human resource consulting firm Robert Half. (The meeting etiquette faux pas also included arriving late and dominating the conversation.)

To be clear, bad behavior didn’t start with the pandemic. There have always been messy kitchens or loquacious colleagues. And to some extent, workers may have gotten used to solitary setups at home and are now less tolerant of typical office distractions such as crunchy chips or co-worker chatter.

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There are also more serious workplace issues that etiquette training won’t fix.

Some ResumeBuilder etiquette survey respondents mentioned other topics of interest, including “what conversation isn’t acceptable,” that “discussion of political standpoints and/or religion is discouraged” and that every person should be treated “equally and fairly.”

Such diversity, equity and inclusion training or anti-harassment courses are outside the purview of most business etiquette classes and are typically handled through a company’s internal HR department, specialized cultural sensitivity experts or law firms. But related topics can sometimes come up.

Nisha Trivedi, founder of NishaTri business etiquette training, said she got a question during a training session last spring about how to respond to a microaggression. She encouraged the person to pose a neutral question, such as “What did you mean by that?” to give the other person the benefit of the doubt, while also not letting the comment go.

“That would give the person a chance to respond either with their sincere meaning, or to acknowledge an issue with what they previously said,” Trivedi said.

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Annoying or off-putting office behavior can be costly to employers already struggling with retention or recruitment in the still-tight labor market.

“If somebody isn’t fitting into a culture — and that can be because of some of these workplace habits — they often become unhappy,” said Alexandra Von Tiergarten, district president of Robert Half, who is based in Los Angeles. “And an unhappy worker doesn’t want to stay.”

Business etiquette firms say requests are coming from all sectors — engineering, insurance, luxury car dealerships, healthcare, finance and even architecture.

Corrugated box manufacturer New-Indy Packaging decided to enroll sales employees in a business etiquette class after managers saw a representative give a lackluster presentation during a business trip. The Cerritos firm’s sales representatives went through six three-hour training sessions to polish up their skills in professional presentation, proper attire, attending lunch meetings and client interactions.

“There isn’t one session that didn’t open the eyes of our employees,” said Brad McCroskey, executive vice president of sales.

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Interpersonal conduct is also a major topic of training.

Uncertain about handshakes because someone once left you hanging at a business event? Next time, confidently extend your hand and make eye contact. If the other person declines because they’re not comfortable, bring your palm to your heart and say, “It’s good to meet you,” which shows respect and avoids dangling hands, said Becky Rupiper, a longtime senior training and image consultant with Des Moines-based firm Tero International.

Trouble with networking skills? Small talk is a popular topic of training, as is how to get out of a conversation you no longer want to be a part of. (“There’s a whole template to that,” Rupiper said with a laugh, but did not divulge.)

Deciding what is “professional” for each workplace is another major issue.

Office kitchens often are the source of drama. This one, at the Oakland corporate offices of secondhand clothing reseller ThredUp, looks tidy.

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(Paul Kuroda/For The Times)

Returning to the office means a return to kitchen drama, as with the hypothetical Bridget — burned popcorn wafting its pungent odor throughout the office, constantly full dishwashers, or paper towels piling up on the floor because there’s no trash can nearby.

How does each workplace want to define what is and isn’t OK? How does that work when that extends to dress code or even open-door policies?

It’s discussions like these that Zabriskie helps facilitate for her clients. She and her team will meet with employees and managers at a company, break down what professionalism means in that particular workplace and identify behaviors that support that idea.

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The price of these classes can range from $4,100 for an in-person, half-day program with a handful of people that doesn’t require Zabriskie or her team to travel far from their home bases (she also does business in California), to $7,850 for a full-day class with 36 people. The average price of a class is $6,500.

The classes don’t teach anything so mind-blowing that couldn’t be read in a book, she said, but they do help flatten the learning curve so what may have taken six months to figure out on your own is addressed instantly.

Students learn the proper way to hold utensils during a dining etiquette class. The accounting students from Irvine Valley College and Cal State Fullerton hope the fine dining skills will help when entertaining clients.

(Gina Ferazzi / Los Angeles Times)

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Another big topic — best communication practices among different generations.

“We all have value,” said Lisa Richey, founder of the American Academy of Etiquette, who is based in Raleigh, N.C. “That’s kind of an underlying theme with dealing with multiple generations.”

To help workers of different generations understand one another better, Richey has her clients play a game in which people fill out a worksheet with their favorite candy bars, favorite movies of their time or popular styles or hairdos. It usually elicits a lot of laughter.

“If there’s somebody from a Baby Boomer generation, then they like it when you stand up and shake their hand and show respect. That’s meaningful to them,” Richey said. “Whereas another generation wants a text and wants it quick and that’s it. So we talk about the benefits of knowing all the different generations and how they like to be communicated to.”

Part of the push for training is to help people get comfortable with going back into the office, and for everyone to realize that this takes some sensitivity, said business etiquette instructor Theresa Thomas, who taught New-Indy Packaging employees and the Irvine Valley College students and has more than 20 years of experience in the field.

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“People have made major changes in their life,” she said. “Many of us have gone through difficult things. It’s important to have an increased ability to have empathy and be more caring.”

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Tesla dethroned as the world’s top EV maker

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Tesla dethroned as the world’s top EV maker

Elon Musk’s Tesla is no longer the top electric vehicle seller in the world as demand at home has cooled while competition heated up abroad.

Tesla lost its pole position after reporting 1.64 million deliveries in 2025, roughly 620,000 fewer than Chinese competitor BYD.

Tesla struggled last year amid increasing competition, waning federal support for electric vehicle adoption and brand damage triggered by Musk’s stint in the White House.

Musk is turning his focus toward robotics and autonomous driving technology in an effort to keep Tesla relevant as its EVs lose popularity.

On Friday, the company reported lower than expected delivery numbers for the fourth quarter of 2025, a decline from the previous quarter and a year-over-year decrease of 16%. Tesla delivered 418,227 vehicles in the fourth quarter and produced 434,358.

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According to a company-compiled consensus from analysts posted on Tesla’s website in December, the company was projected to deliver nearly 423,000 vehicles in the fourth quarter.

Tesla’s annual deliveries fell roughly 8% last year from 1.79 million in 2024. Its third-quarter deliveries saw a boost as consumers rushed to buy electric vehicles before a $7,500 tax credit expired at the end of September.

“There are so many contributing factors ranging from the lack of evolution and true innovation of Musk’s product to the loss of the EV credits,” said Karl Brauer, an analyst at iSeeCars.com. “Teslas are just starting to look old. You have a bunch of other options, and they all look newer and fresher.”

BYD is making premium electric vehicles at an affordable price point, Brauer said, but steep tariffs on Chinese EVs have effectively prevented the cars from gaining popularity in the U.S.

Other international automakers like South Korea’s Hyundai and Germany’s Volkswagen have been expanding their EV offerings.

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In the third quarter last year, the American automaker Ford sold a record number of electric vehicles, bolstered by its popular Mustang Mach-E SUV and F-150 Lightning pickup truck.

In October, Tesla released long-anticipated lower-cost versions of its Model 3 and Model Y in an attempt to attract new customers.

However, analysts and investors were disappointed by the launch, saying the models, which start at $36,990, aren’t affordable enough to entice a new group of consumers to consider going green.

As evidenced by Tesla’s continuing sales decline, the new Model 3 and Model Y have not been huge wins for the company, Brauer said.

“There’s a core Tesla following who will never choose anything else, but that’s not how you grow,” Brauer said.

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Tesla lost a swath of customers last year when Musk joined the Trump administration as the head of the so-called Department of Government Efficiency.

Left-leaning Tesla owners, who were originally attracted to the brand for its environmental benefits, became alienated by Musk’s political activity.

Consumers held protests against the brand and some celebrities made a point of selling their Teslas.

Although Musk left the White House, the company sustained significant and lasting reputation damage, experts said.

Investors, however, remain largely optimistic about Tesla’s future.

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Shares are up nearly 40% over the last six months and have risen 16% over the past year.

Brauer said investors are clinging to the hope that Musk’s robotaxi business will take off and the ambitious chief executive will succeed in developing humanoid robots and self-driving cars.

The roll-out of Tesla robotaxis in Austin, Texas, last summer was full of glitches, and experts say Tesla has a long way to go to catch up with the autonomous ride-hailing company Waymo.

Still, the burgeoning robotaxi industry could be extremely lucrative for Tesla if Musk can deliver on his promises.

“Musk has done a good job, increasingly in the past year, of switching the conversation from Tesla sales to AI and robotics,” Brauer said. “I think current stock price largely reflects that.”

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Shares were down about 2% on Friday after the company reported earnings.

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Elon Musk company bot apologizes for sharing sexualized images of children

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Elon Musk company bot apologizes for sharing sexualized images of children

Grok, the chatbot of Elon Musk’s artificial intelligence company xAI, published sexualized images of children as its guardrails seem to have failed when it was prompted with vile user requests.

Users used prompts such as “put her in a bikini” under pictures of real people on X to get Grok to generate nonconsensual images of them in inappropriate attire. The morphed images created on Grok’s account are posted publicly on X, Musk’s social media platform.

The AI complied with requests to morph images of minors even though that is a violation of its own acceptable use policy.

“There are isolated cases where users prompted for and received AI images depicting minors in minimal clothing, like the example you referenced,” Grok responded to a user on X. “xAI has safeguards, but improvements are ongoing to block such requests entirely.”

xAI did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

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Its chatbot posted an apology.

“I deeply regret an incident on Dec 28, 2025, where I generated and shared an AI image of two young girls (estimated ages 12-16) in sexualized attire based on a user’s prompt,” said a post on Grok’s profile. “This violated ethical standards and potentially US laws on CSAM. It was a failure in safeguards, and I’m sorry for any harm caused. xAI is reviewing to prevent future issues.”

The government of India notified X that it risked losing legal immunity if the company did not submit a report within 72 hours on the actions taken to stop the generation and distribution of obscene, nonconsensual images targeting women.

Critics have accused xAI of allowing AI-enabled harassment, and were shocked and angered by the existence of a feature for seamless AI manipulation and undressing requests.

“How is this not illegal?” journalist Samantha Smith posted on X, decrying the creation of her own nonconsensual sexualized photo.

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Musk’s xAI has positioned Grok as an “anti-woke” chatbot that is programmed to be more open and edgy than competing chatbots such as ChatGPT.

In May, Grok posted about “white genocide,” repeating conspiracy theories of Black South Africans persecuting the white minority, in response to an unrelated question.

In June, the company apologized when Grok posted a series of antisemitic remarks praising Adolf Hitler.

Companies such as Google and OpenAI, which also operate AI image generators, have much more restrictive guidelines around content.

The proliferation of nonconsensual deepfake imagery has coincided with broad AI adoption, with a 400% increase in AI child sexual abuse imagery in the first half of 2025, according to Internet Watch Foundation.

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xAI introduced “Spicy Mode” in its image and video generation tool in August for verified adult subscribers to create sensual content.

Some adult-content creators on X prompted Grok to generate sexualized images to market themselves, kickstarting an internet trend a few days ago, according to Copyleaks, an AI text and image detection company.

The testing of the limits of Grok devolved into a free-for-all as users asked it to create sexualized images of celebrities and others.

xAI is reportedly valued at more than $200 billion, and has been investing billions of dollars to build the largest data center in the world to power its AI applications.

However, Grok’s capabilities still lag competing AI models such as ChatGPT, Claude and Gemini, that have amassed more users, while Grok has turned to sexual AI companions and risque chats to boost growth.

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A tale of two Ralphs — Lauren and the supermarket — shows the reality of a K-shaped economy

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A tale of two Ralphs — Lauren and the supermarket — shows the reality of a K-shaped economy

John and Theresa Anderson meandered through the sprawling Ralph Lauren clothing store on Rodeo Drive, shopping for holiday gifts.

They emerged carrying boxy blue bags. John scored quarter-zip sweaters for himself and his father-in-law, and his wife splurged on a tweed jacket for Christmas Day.

“I’m going for quality over quantity this year,” said John, an apparel company executive and Palos Verdes Estates resident.

They strolled through the world-famous Beverly Hills shopping mecca, where there was little evidence of any big sales.

John Anderson holds his shopping bags from Ralph Lauren and Gucci at Rodeo Drive.

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(Juliana Yamada / Los Angeles Times)

One mile away, shoppers at a Ralphs grocery store in West Hollywood were hunting for bargains. The chain’s website has been advertising discounts on a wide variety of products, including wine and wrapping paper.

Massi Gharibian was there looking for cream cheese and ways to save money.

“I’m buying less this year,” she said. “Everything is expensive.”

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The tale of two Ralphs shows how Americans are experiencing radically different realities this holiday season. It represents the country’s K-shaped economy — the growing divide between those who are affluent and those trying to stretch their budgets.

Some Los Angeles residents are tightening their belts and prioritizing necessities such as groceries. Others are frequenting pricey stores such as Ralph Lauren, where doormen hand out hot chocolate and a cashmere-silk necktie sells for $250.

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People shop at Ralphs in West Hollywood.

People shop at Ralphs in West Hollywood.

(Juliana Yamada / Los Angeles Times)

In the K-shaped economy, high-income households sit on the upward arm of the “K,” benefiting from rising pay as well as the value of their stock and property holdings. At the same time, lower-income families occupy the downward stroke, squeezed by inflation and lackluster income gains.

The model captures the country’s contradictions. Growth looks healthy on paper, yet hiring has slowed and unemployment is edging higher. Investment is booming in artificial intelligence data centers, while factories cut jobs and home sales stall.

The divide is most visible in affordability. Inflation remains a far heavier burden for households lower on the income distribution, a frustration that has spilled into politics. Voters are angry about expensive rents, groceries and imported goods.

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“People in lower incomes are becoming more and more conservative in their spending patterns, and people in the upper incomes are actually driving spending and spending more,” said Kevin Klowden, an executive director at the Milken Institute, an economic think tank.

“Inflationary pressures have been much higher on lower- and middle-income people, and that has been adding up,” he said.

According to a Bank of America report released this month, higher-income employees saw their after-tax wages grow 4% from last year, while lower-income groups saw a jump of just 1.4%. Higher-income households also increased their spending year over year by 2.6%, while lower-income groups increased spending by 0.6%.

The executives at the companies behind the two Ralphs say they are seeing the trend nationwide.

Ralph Lauren reported better-than-expected quarterly sales last month and raised its forecasts, while Kroger, the grocery giant that owns Ralphs and Food 4 Less, said it sometimes struggles to attract cash-strapped customers.

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“We’re seeing a split across income groups,” interim Kroger Chief Executive Ron Sargent said on a company earnings call early this month. “Middle-income customers are feeling increased pressure. They’re making smaller, more frequent trips to manage budgets, and they’re cutting back on discretionary purchases.”

People leave Ralphs with their groceries in West Hollywood.

People leave Ralphs with their groceries in West Hollywood.

(Juliana Yamada / Los Angeles Times)

Kroger lowered the top end of its full-year sales forecast after reporting mixed third-quarter earnings this month.

On a Ralph Lauren earnings call last month, CEO Patrice Louvet said its brand has benefited from targeting wealthy customers and avoiding discounts.

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“Demand remains healthy, and our core consumer is resilient,” Louvet said, “especially as we continue … to shift our recruiting towards more full-price, less price-sensitive, higher-basket-size new customers.”

Investors have noticed the split as well.

The stock charts of the companies behind the two Ralphs also resemble a K. Shares of Ralph Lauren have jumped 37% in the last six months, while Kroger shares have fallen 13%.

To attract increasingly discerning consumers, Kroger has offered a precooked holiday meal for eight of turkey or ham, stuffing, green bean casserole, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, cranberry and gravy for about $11 a person.

“Stretch your holiday dollars!” said the company’s weekly newspaper advertisement.

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Signs advertising low prices are posted at Ralphs.

Signs advertising low prices are posted at Ralphs.

(Juliana Yamada / Los Angeles Times)

In the Ralph Lauren on Rodeo Drive, sunglasses and polo shirts were displayed without discounts. Twinkling lights adorned trees in the store’s entryway and employees offered shoppers free cookies for the holidays.

Ralph Lauren and other luxury stores are taking the opposite approach to retailers selling basics to the middle class.

They are boosting profits from sales of full-priced items. Stores that cater to high-end customers don’t offer promotions as frequently, Klowden of the Milken Institute said.

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“When the luxury stores are having sales, that’s usually a larger structural symptom of how they’re doing,” he said. “They don’t need to be having sales right now.”

Jerry Nickelsburg, faculty director of the UCLA Anderson Forecast, said upper-income earners are less affected by inflation that has driven up the price of everyday goods, and are less likely to hunt for bargains.

“The low end of the income distribution is being squeezed by inflation and is consuming less,” he said. “The upper end of the income distribution has increasing wealth and increasing income, and so they are less affected, if affected at all.”

The Andersons on Rodeo Drive also picked up presents at Gucci and Dior.

“We’re spending around the same as last year,” John Anderson said.

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At Ralphs, Beverly Grove resident Mel, who didn’t want to share her last name, said the grocery store needs to go further for its consumers.

“I am 100% trying to spend less this year,” she said.

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