Liz Harris raised five children in the Mad River Valley. She loved all of them, deeply, with that distinct kind of love that a parent feels for their kids.
In 2016, Liz’s teenage daughter, Mary, was in a car accident with four of her friends. A wrong-way driver collided with them on I-89, and all five teenagers died. The accident made national news, profoundly affected the community and changed Liz’s life forever. What’s helped her move forward is to try and spread as much love in the world as she can.
As part of the series exploring love this week, Liz explains how her ideas about love changed after experiencing a profound loss.
Our show is made for the ear. We highly recommend listening to the audio. We’ve also provided a transcript, which has been edited for clarity and concision.
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Liz Harris: I think there’s that love you have for your friends. There’s that love you have for your community. There’s that love you have for your partner, your spouse. And then there’s that love you have for your kids.
My name is Elizabeth Harris. I go by Liz. And I live in Moretown, Vermont.
We had seven different personalities in the house, and it was busy. I stayed home with five kids. Two of my sister’s kids I watched, and she has four. And a couple of neighbor kids. So I’d have 10 kids at my house on a regular basis. But I hiked with them, I skied with them, I swam with them.
I remember this one time my sister and I hiked up Mad River, and we had my five, her four, and Janie and Ollie Cozzi with us. And everybody was so happy. And it was a long hike! And you know, there was a little bit of complaining, but everybody was kind of in their groups.
And my sister and I got up there and we sat them all down and took a picture. And it’s that feeling of nothing could be better, you know?
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And on our way down, we had — one of our kids was running so fast that they tripped right before one of the towers, and launched probably like eight feet and cleared the pad. And my sister and I both looked at each other and thought, “Goodness, what would we have done if we were out here with two adults and all these kids and something happened?”
In 2016, something did happen that changed our lives, changed the direction of all of our lives. It actually changed love, and what would be spread in love. What was left behind in love, and what was felt through love.
My daughter Mary was killed in a car accident when she was 16 with four of her friends. They were coming home from a concert in Burlington and they were on the interstate and a wrong-way driver hit and killed them all.
When you love something so much and that physical presence is ripped away from you, you realize how fortunate you are to love someone that much. And have somebody love you that much.
And I felt like she played a huge role in why or how I could move forward. And I think, honestly, that is love.
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Anna Van Dine
/
Vermont Public
A t-shirt honoring Mary Harris.
Mary was a giver. By nature, she was a giver. She gave every part of herself while she was here. And the ripple effect of her love came out in all the people around me,.
She was empathetic towards others and she was kind. She gave every part of herself while she was here. And the ripple effect of her love came out in all the people around me.
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For six months, people brought us dinner. And I probably wouldn’t be eating if people didn’t bring me food. I felt like it was a giant spider web, and Mary was the center of the spider web, and then we were the next ring. And then those rings just kept going out and out and out until people would start reaching out to me from as far away as Arkansas, and had lost their child and couldn’t get out of bed and would ask me, “How do you do it?”
And I’d say, “I’ve got other kids. I have a community I love. I have a lot of life that I love. And it’s a long road. It’s a long journey. It’s something that sits with us every day, but it’s part of the story. It’s part of life. It’s part of love,” you know.
And I honestly think Mary puts people in front of me all the time.
ESSEX JUNCTION, Vt. (Aging Untold) — For 10 days, the Champlain Valley Fair, a county fair in Vermont, becomes its own little town with thousands of people, hot afternoons and the occasional emergency.
Charlene Phelps, 74, runs the fair’s emergency response team.
“We have a lot of seniors that come and people don’t drink enough water,” Phelps said.
The team handles sprains, bee stings, heat exhaustion and whatever comes through.
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“I like taking care of people, I like helping people,” Phelps said.
Living out a childhood dream
It’s also a childhood dream.
Phelps wanted to be a nurse, but college wasn’t possible, so she found another route into care and has been showing up year after year at the fair.
Aging Untold expert Amy O’Rourke said living out your purpose can improve mental and spiritual well-being.
“When you tap into that, you’re tapping in on a place that’s a risk, that’s a challenge that inevitably creates growth inside you, gives you confidence so that if you’re in another situation you can build on that,” O’Rourke said. “Or, if you’re in an everyday situation where you’re a little anxious, it’ll help create stabilization in that place as well.”
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Saving lives at the fair
Sometimes it’s bigger than a bandage.
“Over on there near the swings way over there is Gustovo, and we saved his life,” Phelps said.
Gustovo had gone into cardiac arrest at the fair a few years ago.
“I mean he was gone,” Phelps said.
Now he’s back and working the rides.
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“Came for my hug, Gustovo,” Phelps said.
O’Rourke said stories like this are also why some people keep working past retirement age. Purpose isn’t a number, it’s a role.
“I’ve seen a 92-year-old still working as a nurse’s aid. I’ve seen people in my neighborhood chilling out and loving it,” O’Rourke said. “So, I think it’s being really self-aware of what you need and making sure that you’re getting those needs met.”
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A plan by Gov. Phil Scott’s administration to make all of the state’s lottery games, including scratch-off tickets, available on a person’s phone never got off the ground at the Statehouse this year.
Lottery Commissioner Wendy Knight told lawmakers in January that the plan was a way to modernize the lottery “because you need to keep pace with technology — you need to meet your players where they are.”
Fifteen states have created a “digital” lottery system, and many have discovered there’s a distinct market of people who don’t buy lottery tickets at retail outlets but will do so on their phones, according to Knight. “We’re trying to ensure the future of the Vermont Lottery, ” the commissioner said.
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But state lawmakers have not been persuaded.
Vergennes Rep. Matt Birong, the Democratic chair of the House government operations committee, said members of the panel felt this year was not the time to move forward with this plan, especially given the recent legalization of sports betting.
“It is digitizing a current system and after moving forward with the sports wagering — people just wanted to take their time with it — so my committee decided to tap the brakes on further testimony.”
The administration estimated that the plan would have raised roughly $5 million a year for the state’s education fund after two years of implementation.
The prospect of that additional revenue is appealing to lawmakers, and Birong said they may reconsider the plan next year.
