Utah
I left my husband behind on my 50th birthday to go hiking in Utah. Traveling separately is good for our marriage.
As newlyweds in our 20s, my husband and I backpacked from Beijing to Paris, spending 14 weeks riding trains, buses, and boats. We were good travel partners. But as we’ve grown older, our travel desires have diverged: I itch for more adventure, while he prefers vacations spent reading and sketching.
For my 50th birthday, instead of coaxing my husband to join me on a hiking trip to a national park, I invited our 20-year-old daughter, who loves active adventures as much as I do. We also brought along a family friend — who, like me, left her husband behind.
The three of us headed to Utah to explore Zion and Bryce Canyon national parks. Along the way, I sent my artistic husband plenty of photos of the red cliffs against the blue sky.
He would have hated it all
When we won the permit lottery to hike up Zion’s 1,488-foot rock formation, Angels Landing, I knew going with the girls had been the right choice — my husband has always been scared of heights. With narrow paths and sheer drop-offs, Angels Landing is considered one of the most terrifying hikes in America.
The four-hour trek to Angels Landing begins with Walter’s Wiggles, a series of strenuous switchbacks. Once we entered the formation’s upper section, we scrambled over rocks and tiptoed down paths only a few feet wide. The river snaking through the canyon below looked like the view from an airplane.
I have to admit I was a little shaky when I came to the short sections with no chains to clutch. My husband wouldn’t have been scared at all — because he’d have turned back miles earlier.
Carrie Kirby
We also signed up for another of my husband’s most hated activities: horseback riding. We descended into the Bryce Canyon on mules and ponies, hoping they wouldn’t lose their footing as we enjoyed intimate views of the park’s famous hoodoos.
We went canyoneering as well, donning harnesses and helmets to rappel into otherwise inaccessible slot canyons. Stepping backward off a cliff edge to walk our way down, “Spider-Man” style was a lot of fun for us girls. For my husband? Canyoneering would have been another huge nope.
Breaking routines and learning new skills
During our adventures, the girls and I laughed and told stories nonstop. Although I love my husband, my spirit basked in the pause from everyday squabbles and responsibilities. Had he been there, I’d have put a full dinner on the table nightly. But with just us girls, we ate hummus straight from the container for dinner when we felt like it.
I married at 24 and have been a wife for more than half my life. One thing that happens when you couple young is specialization. When we travel together, my husband does most of the driving. On this trip and a few others, I’ve been able to improve my driving skills, although I still need to learn to change a tire on my own.
Now that our three kids are teens or young adults, my husband and I are discovering what great travel companions they are — each one shares different interests with us, including some we don’t share with each other.
Last month, my husband took the two younger kids to visit our oldest in her college town for a hockey game — something that would’ve bored me to tears, but they all loved it.
Traveling separately has not only let us each pursue what we truly enjoy without guilt, but it’s also practical: I’m self-employed with flexible time, while he has limited vacation, and with two kids still in high school, solo trips let one of us travel during the school year without leaving them alone.
It has strengthened our relationship
When friends and family find out one of us isn’t coming on a trip, they often ask “Why?” I’m sure some worry that our separate wanderings mean we’re headed for divorce.
In reality, our his-and-her trips have been a relationship boon. After 27 years of going through the same daily schedules together, we don’t usually have a lot to say that the other hasn’t heard before. Travel gives us new stories to share.
The night my daughter and I got home from our Utah adventure, my husband had a hot meal on the table and was excited to sit down and view photos.
“You have got to see this!” I found myself saying as we shared the view of Zion’s towering walls. I told him how good the icy Virgin River water felt on our bare feet near The Narrows, and he said he’d love to experience that.
And maybe next time, we’ll travel together. We could sign up for a bike tour — his favorite active pursuit — and skip the steep hikes.
Do you have a story to share about celebrating your 50th birthday? Contact the editor at akarplus@businessinsider.com.
Utah
California man in Utah for National Guard duties accused of soliciting ‘teen girl’
SALT LAKE CITY — A California man in Utah, as part of his duties with the National Guard, is accused of trying to solicit sex from a young teenager.
Joshua Ruben Rodriguez, 29, of Fresno, was charged Tuesday in 3rd District Court with attempted rape of a child, a first-degree felony, and enticement of a minor, a second-degree felony.
The investigation began when an agent with the Utah State Bureau of Investigation posed as a 13-year-old girl on a “popular social media site … in an attempt to locate and apprehend adults attempting to have sexual contact with children,” according to charging documents.
On April 16, Rodriguez sent the agent a message — believing he was talking to a teen girl — that stated, “I’ll be direct with you, I would like to get to know you and (have sex with) your mind into a daze to where you feel like a woman,” according to charging documents.
When the “girl” asked if he had a problem with her age, Rodriguez replied, “I don’t have a problem with your age,” the charges state.
The agent told Rodriguez to meet at an apartment complex in Salt Lake County where the girl lived, claiming her mother would be gone. When Rodriguez arrived, he was taken into custody, the charges state.
“(Rodriguez) does not have ties to Utah. He is a resident of Fresno, California. (He) was in town as part of his military service with the California National Guard,” prosecutors stated in charging documents while requesting he be held without bail pending trial.
Utah
One hospitalized in St. George after rollover crash south of Utah-Arizona border
ST. GEORGE, Utah (KUTV) — One person was hospitalized at the St. George Regional Hospital after a car rolled and caught fire just south of the Utah-Arizona border.
The Beaver Dam and Littlefield Fire Department in Arizona said its crews responded to the crash near the Black Rock Road exit – roughly two miles south of the state border – on Sunday night.
Upon arrival, crews put out the car fire and found the driver had left the scene. A single occupant, who was able to get out of the car on their own, was transported to the hospital by a Beaver Dam ambulance.
MORE | Crashes
Their condition has not been publicly released.
Details on what led to the crash and the condition of the driver were not immediately available.
The Beaver Dam and Littlefield Fire Department said law enforcement investigated the scene.
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Utah
Utah Jazz win coin flip, guaranteed to keep NBA Draft Lottery pick
SALT LAKE CITY — The Utah Jazz missed out on the NBA Playoffs, but still scored a big win thanks to a coin flip.
In Monday’s tiebreaker coin flip to determine who had the fourth-worst record in the league last season, the Jazz came out winners over the Sacramento Kings, who had the same 22-60 record.
Had the Jazz lost the coin flip, they would have been fifth in NBA Draft Lottery odds. Only the worst four teams are guaranteed to remain within the top eight of the lottery.
If Utah had fallen to fifth, there would have been the chance they could have dropped out of the top 8 teams in the lottery, and owed the draft pick to Oklahoma City, which was top-8 protected in a previous trade.
The Jazz now have an 11.5 percent chance to win the first overall pick in the NBA Draft Lottery, which is scheduled for Sunday, May 10.
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