Health
When a Couple’s Drinking Habits Diverge
Casey and Mike Davidson always enjoyed drinking together.
The couple, both 49, met after college while working as consultants at the same firm. Romance blossomed over work happy hours, then time spent lingering over a bottle of wine on long dates.
In their mid-20s, the pair moved to Seattle and made a group of friends who were always up for a drink. Afternoons were for hiking, kayaking and sipping beers on Lake Union; evenings were for rollicking, boozy dinner parties.
But by their 30s, their drinking habits diverged. Ms. Davidson drank a bottle of wine by herself most nights, and felt increasingly uneasy about it, while Mr. Davidson settled into life as a self-described “single-beer-a-night drinker.”
“I was really defensive about my drinking,” Ms. Davidson said, adding, “I didn’t want him watching me every time I poured a third glass of wine.”
Like the Davidsons, many couples have had to grapple with the role alcohol plays in their partnership — even if neither party drinks to the point where it causes clear, consistent problems at home, or takes an obvious toll on their health. Their relationship may still receive a shock when one partner decides to cut back or quit altogether.
“It can drive a wedge between people in terms of how they socialize, how they relax and unwind, their bedroom activities,” said Ruby Warrington, the author of “Sober Curious.” “It can be really uncomfortable.”
We asked couples, and experts on substance use, how to navigate changing tolerances for drinking within a relationship.
Finding New Pathways for Connection
Ms. Davidson, who now lives in Redmond, Wash., never hit the kind of dramatic rock bottom people tend to associate with heavy drinking, but at 40 she quit for good, and now works as a sobriety coach.
She slept better and felt less anxious and foggy, but she also worried that her newfound sobriety might hurt her marriage. “It was scary for me to stop drinking, because I wondered how we would connect,” she said.
Research on alcohol and marital happiness suggests that couples who abstain and couples who drink heavily together tend to report comparable levels of relationship satisfaction.
But problems can arise when one partner drinks regularly and the other doesn’t, said Kenneth Leonard, director of the University at Buffalo’s Clinical and Research Institute on Addictions, who has studied the topic for decades. That lopsided dynamic can lead to relationship dissatisfaction and increased chances of divorce.
The reasons for that are likely to be complex, he said, though at a simple level, couples often drink to unwind and connect, and losing that may come with some cost initially. People often do not realize how ingrained alcohol is in their relationships, experts said, even if neither party has a substance use problem.
Julie Kraft, a licensed marriage and family therapist and co-author of “The Mindfulness Workbook for Addiction,” said a major upside of the “sober curious movement” and abstinence challenges like Dry January is that they offer opportunities for self-reflection.
“Am I using alcohol for stress relief?” she said. “Am I using it to feel more connected to my partner? Am I using it to avoid my partner?” One of the first things she discusses with couples looking to make changes is to brainstorm ways they might fill those spaces or needs.
The Davidsons found connection points that didn’t involve alcohol, like going to see live music on Saturday nights at a local cafe, browsing bookstores together and going to the movies.
Arthur Tindsley, 41, from Oxfordshire, England, also feared that sobriety would change his marriage. He grew up steeped in British pub culture, but in recent years, he and his wife have both looked critically at their drinking habits, going through long periods of abstinence.
Sitting down in a nice restaurant together and sharing a bottle of wine used to be one of his most cherished activities. “All of those entrenched, habitual ways that we are partners together have had to change, or are in a process of changing,” he said.
Their go-to date night now? “It’s going to sound really boring,” he said, “but we go on a walk.”
Connecting With Your ‘Why’
When working with couples in which one or both partners wants to moderate or stop drinking, Laura Heck, a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Bend, Ore., emphasizes the importance of each individual understanding their own reasons for making the change.
“Each person has to connect with their own ‘why’” Ms. Heck said, adding, “I never want one person to lean into another person’s goal and just tack it on.” She offered her own relationship as an example: Her husband stopped drinking years ago because of a heart condition. Lately, Ms. Heck has been abstaining as well, but not because of him. She simply wants to better understand the ways in which drinking has become a habit for her — and to improve her marathon times.
Experts also emphasize that partners cannot force each other to change.
“One thing we remind everyone is that their journey is their own,” said Andrea Pain, executive director of Moderation Management, a nonprofit that runs peer support groups for those who want to cut back on their drinking. “You can’t expect anyone to change what they’re doing because you’ve set this new intention for yourself.”
The Davidsons acknowledge that they are lucky. Their marriage was fundamentally sound before Ms. Davidson quit drinking, she said, and Mr. Davidson never felt threatened by her decision, nor did he attempt to derail her efforts, something which she has seen happen among her coaching clients.
The pair have found their rhythm: Mr. Davidson continues to drink in moderation, Ms. Davidson remains sober. “The way I think about it is: If I decided to become a vegetarian, that doesn’t mean Mike has to be a vegetarian too,” she said. “But he certainly wouldn’t take me to a steakhouse.”
US issues new guidance on alcohol consumption
Fox News medical contributor Dr. Nicole Saphier joins ‘Fox & Friends Weekend’ to weigh in on new dietary guidance surrounding alcohol consumption as the overall drinking rate hits a new low.
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The new federal Dietary Guidelines for Americans suggest simply limiting alcohol intake for better health.
The shifted guidance challenges previous standards that listed moderate drinking limits — one drink a day for women and two drinks a day for men.
A standard drink is about 12 ounces of beer, five ounces of wine or 1.5 ounces of liquor, according to experts.
HIGHER STROKE RISK LINKED TO CONSUMING CERTAIN AMOUNT OF ALCOHOL, STUDY FINDS
Heavy drinking is defined as four or more drinks per day for women and five or more drinks per day for men, per the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA).
Drinking this amount of alcohol within two hours is typically considered binge-drinking, which causes more than half of alcohol-related deaths in the U.S.
Many patients may believe their heavy drinking is not a concern because they can “hold their liquor” — but having a high alcohol tolerance is a reason to worry, experts say. (iStock)
“It increases the risk of falls, burns, car crashes, memory blackouts, medication interactions, assaults, drownings and overdose deaths,” the group cautions on its website.
Many patients may believe their heavy drinking is not a concern because they can “hold their liquor,” but having a high alcohol tolerance is actually more of a reason to worry, the NIAAA mentioned.
Heavy drinking is defined as four or more drinks per day for women and five or more drinks per day for men.
“People with this trait tend to drink more and thus have an increased risk of alcohol-related problems,” the Institute stated.
“Patients who drink within the limits of the Dietary Guidelines, too, may be unaware that even if they don’t feel a ‘buzz,’ driving can be impaired.”
‘The less you drink, the better’
Fox News senior medical analyst Dr. Marc Siegel said he agrees with the shifting guidelines because any set standard sends an “unintentional message that some amount of alcohol is safe.”
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“Setting an arbitrary number doesn’t mean much, especially since people tend not to follow it anyway,” he told Fox News Digital.
“Not only that, but since alcohol is addictive, what starts out as one drink quickly becomes two … it is a social lubricant and there is a positive side, but it is also a toxin.”
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Siegel suggested that there should be further guidelines surrounding the risks alcohol poses for the liver and heart, in addition to the dangers of drinking while driving.
“The less you drink, the better,” he said. “Alcohol impairs judgment, may easily be mixed with other harmful drugs like cannabis, [and can] lead to severe and fatal car accidents.”
“Setting an arbitrary number doesn’t mean much, especially since people tend not to follow it anyway,” said a leading physician and medical analyst. (iStock)
Isaac Dapkins, M.D., chief medical officer and designated institutional official for the Family Health Centers at NYU Langone, noted the importance of limiting alcohol.
“No one should start drinking — or keep drinking — because they think it’s good for them.”
While men and women differ depending on age, body size and other environmental factors, women’s bodies can metabolize less alcohol than men, the doctor told Fox News Digital.
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In a separate interview with Fox News Digital, Dr. Mark Hyman, co-founder of Function Health in California, highlighted how women are at an increased risk of developing certain cancers due to hormonal shifts.
Meanwhile, men may be more likely to binge-drink, the doctor noted, as just one heavy drinking episode could increase the risk of heart attack and stroke.
Individuals should speak with a doctor about their personal drinking risk based on family history, a doctor suggests. (iStock)
The National Academy of Sciences, Engineering and Medicine (NASEM) Consensus Report, which accompanied the new Dietary Guidelines, says that men and women who drink in moderation may have a decreased risk of cardiovascular disease and a lower risk of all-cause mortality.
Hyman, however, disagrees with this. “There are no cardiovascular health benefits to drinking alcohol,” he said. “These assertions were based primarily on observational research, with a lot of confounding factors.”
The doctor added, “Less [alcohol] is better, and abstinence is best. No one should start drinking — or keep drinking — because they think it’s good for them.”
Know your risk
Dapkins recommends that individuals see their primary care doctor to discuss their personal risk.
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“There is no longer a ‘one size fits all’ status for most conditions,” he said. “There is so much new information discovered about how to characterize an individual’s risk based on family history, behaviors and current medical conditions.”
For anyone who has a personal history of tobacco use — or a family history of breast cancer, atrial fibrillation or substance abuse — Dapkins’ advice is to avoid alcohol.
“It is a social lubricant and there is a positive side, but it is also a toxin,” one doctor cautioned. (iStock)
“There is a significant association between alcohol intake and atrial fibrillation (or A. Fib.), high blood pressure, and breast, mouth and throat cancers,” he cautioned. “A. Fib. can cause a stroke and is directly associated with alcohol intake.”
For those with no personal or family history, the concern would be less, according to Dapkins. “If you choose to drink moderately, your doctor may be able to detect health conditions early to reduce your risk,” he went on. “The best option is to have a trusted clinician with whom you maintain a long relationship.”
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Amanda Berger, Ph.D., senior vice president for science and research at the Distilled Spirits Council in Washington, D.C., noted that for most adults, research shows “moderate alcohol consumption can be part of an enjoyable adult lifestyle and carries little to no risk.”
“However, there are some individuals who should avoid alcohol all together,” she said in a statement to Fox News Digital. “We recommend that people talk to their health providers to help determine what is right for them, based on personal risk factors.”
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Adults who consider themselves “night owls” tend to score lower in cardiovascular health assessments and face a higher risk of heart attack or stroke.
That’s according to a new study published Wednesday in the Journal of the American Heart Association, which examined how a person’s chronotype — their natural tendency to be active in the morning or evening — is linked to overall heart health.
The researchers looked at 14 years of UK Biobank data for around 300,000 adults averaging 57 years old, according to a press release for the study.
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Around 8% of the participants described themselves as “definitely evening people,” which means they stayed up very late. Another 24% said they were “definitely morning people,” as they tended to wake up earlier and go to bed earlier.
The largest “intermediate” group, which included 67% of participants, said they were unsure or in neither group.
Adults who consider themselves “night owls” tend to score lower in cardiovascular health assessments and face a higher risk of heart attack or stroke. (iStock)
Each person’s heart health was determined using the American Heart Association’s Life’s Essential 8 score.
“Life’s Essential 8 is a comprehensive assessment that includes activity levels, diet, blood pressure, cholesterol, use of nicotine, sleep patterns, weight management and blood sugar,” shared Dr. Bradley Serwer, an interventional cardiologist and chief medical officer at VitalSolution, an Ingenovis Health company.
MEN WITH ‘BEER BELLIES’ MAY FACE SERIOUS HEART DAMAGE REGARDLESS OF WEIGHT
The researchers also looked at incidence of heart attack or stroke over the follow-up period.
They determined that people who were more active in the evening (“night owls”) had a 79% higher risk of poor cardiovascular health compared to the intermediate group, and a 16% higher risk of heart attack or stroke, the release stated.
The researchers looked at 14 years of UK Biobank data for around 300,000 adults averaging 57 years old. (iStock)
People who identified as being more active in the morning had slightly better heart health scores. The link was more pronounced in women than men.
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“‘Evening people’ often experience circadian misalignment, meaning their internal body clock may not match the natural day-to-night light cycle or their typical daily schedules,” said lead study author Sina Kianersi, Ph.D., a research fellow in the division of sleep and circadian disorders at Brigham and Women’s Hospital and Harvard Medical School, both in Boston, in the release.
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“Evening people may be more likely to have behaviors that can affect cardiovascular health, such as poorer diet quality, smoking, and inadequate or irregular sleep.”
Each person’s heart health was determined using the American Heart Association’s Life’s Essential 8 score. (American Heart Association)
Serwer, who was not involved in the study, noted that lifestyle habits played a significant role in these findings.
“Cardiovascular disease has multiple contributing causes,” the Maryland-based cardiologist told Fox News Digital. “Sleep is just one variable — and the importance of high-quality, restorative sleep should not be undervalued.”
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The findings could help doctors tailor lifestyle and medical interventions to help prevent cardiovascular events, the researchers noted.
The findings could help doctors tailor lifestyle and medical interventions to help prevent cardiovascular events, the researchers noted. (iStock)
The study did have some limitations, chiefly that it does not prove that staying up late causes heart problems, but only establishes an association.
Also, the study relied on people reporting their own schedules, habits and health, which could be skewed.
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Finally, the people included in the UK Biobank are primarily White and tend to have better health than the general population, the researchers noted, which means the results may not be widely generalized.
Serwer added, “While quality sleep is important, further studies are required to show exactly what sort of impact sleep alone has on cardiovascular health.”
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One woman’s uncomfortable reaction to alcohol led to a grave discovery.
Hollie Thursby, 28, a mother of two from the U.K., told Kennedy News and Media that after giving birth to her second son, Jack, she began experiencing unusual symptoms.
At a checkup for her son, who was a couple of months old, Thursby mentioned that she was experiencing “unbearably itchy skin,” which is known to be a post-partum symptom. The doctor suggested it was due to changing hormones.
DEADLY CANCER RISK SPIKES WITH CERTAIN LEVEL OF ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION, STUDY FINDS
Thursby added that she occasionally drank a couple glasses of wine. Although she kept the drinking to a minimum, she described having “a lot of pain” down the side of her neck.
“Really quite painful and uncomfortable,” she said, according to the report.
A U.K. mom reported experiencing pain in her neck after drinking a glass or two of wine, which turned out to be one of the first signs that she had cancer. (Kennedy News and Media)
The mother also reported feeling extremely exhausted, which she assumed was due to caring for her children throughout the day.
“I also felt like when I got to bed that someone was sitting on my chest,” she shared.
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In July 2025, Thursby discovered a lump on the side of her neck that she described as “really quite big,” but wasn’t painful, Kennedy News and Media reported.
“It was hard, it didn’t move, but it was there,” she said. “When I turned my neck to the side, you could see it.”
Thursby reportedly began chemotherapy for Stage 2 Hodgkins lymphoma. (Kennedy News and Media)
Thursby’s symptoms turned out to be a form of blood cancer — Stage 2 Hodgkins lymphoma, which means it is in two or more lymph nodes, according to Cancer Research U.K.
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Common symptoms include swelling of the lymph nodes, heavy sweating, weight loss, itching, persistent cough or shortness of breath, high temperatures, and pain in the stomach or lymph nodes after drinking alcohol.
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“Pain when you drink alcohol is actually a known side effect of Hodgkin lymphoma,” she said, per the report. “It’s something about the acidity in the wine and not when you drink other alcohol.”
While alcohol-related pain in Hodgkins lymphoma patients has been “an accepted scientific consensus” since the 1950s, cases are rare, Healthline confirmed.
Hollie Thursby, 28, and her two sons are pictured above. The mother reported feeling extremely exhausted, which she assumed was due to caring for her children throughout the day. (Kennedy News and Media)
Thursby reportedly began chemotherapy in November, noting that the hardest part is not being able to care for her kids after losing her own mother to a blood disorder called myelodysplasia.
“I grew up without a mum, and it was horrendous. I can’t do that to the boys,” she told Kennedy News and Media. “We’re all devastated, but we all know now, and we’ve got a treatment plan, which is what we need.”
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“I’m just doing everything I can to get better for them. I keep telling myself this is only temporary, I just need to keep going.”
Anyone experiencing pain or other concerning symptoms after consuming alcohol should consult a doctor for guidance.
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