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Come study with me: How a virtual buddy might help you get things done

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Come study with me: How a virtual buddy might help you get things done

On YouTube, creators are filming themselves studying, working or cleaning in real time — it helps the creators stay focused and encourages their viewers too.

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It’s no secret that we live in an age of near-constant digital distractions. Between texts, direct messages, push alerts and other diversions and interruptions, it can be really hard to focus and get stuff done.

However, some folks are using their digital devices to increase their focus and productivity — borrowing a technique often used by people with ADHD. Real-time videos of people studying, working or cleaning are getting tens of millions of views.

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Back when Jen Simon of South Orange, N.J., was a teenager, she and her sister both struggled with getting things done.

“My mom figured out my sister had undiagnosed ADHD,” Simon says, “and she figured out some hacks — before they were called hacks — to work with my sister. When she had to do something like clean her room or put away her clothes or whatever it was, my mom would sit with her. She would sit with me often too.”

A few months back, Simon found herself with a load of paperwork she had been putting off. She recalled her mom’s technique and put out a call on Facebook asking for a friend or two to do the same: just come sit with her as she tackled her mission.

It was then that Simon learned that her mom’s old hack now has a name: body doubling. “It works really well for me,” Simon says. She now uses it with her own kids too.

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The magic of another person’s presence

Experts say that body doubling is a really effective technique. Even if someone is just sitting nearby doing their own thing while we are working, it seems to spark us into action.

Dr. Edward Hallowell is a psychiatrist and the author of more than 20 books, many of them about attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder.

“People with ADHD find body doubling unusually helpful because we — I have the condition myself — we respond magically to the presence of another person,” he says. “Just having another person nearby activates a kind of attention, imagination, creativity, that is dormant when we’re all by ourselves, usually.”

Body doubling has become wildly popular among folks with ADHD and those who struggle with what professionals call “executive functioning” — the many mental steps we all go through to plan, focus on tasks and accomplish our goals.

(According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, an estimated 7 million children in the U.S. between the ages of 3 and 17 had been diagnosed with ADHD as of 2022; a global study published in 2023 estimates that about 3% of adults worldwide live with ADHD.)

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This photo shows Jessica McCabe against a blue background. She's wearing a purple T-shirt that says

Author Jessica McCabe, creator of the popular YouTube channel How to ADHD.

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Author Jessica McCabe runs a popular YouTube channel called How to ADHD. She also calls body doubling an effective strategy.

For example, McCabe says, “I stayed with a friend who has ADHD and who was really struggling to clean her house. So we played a game. I would hold up a couple of items, and she was the one who had to decide where it would go. But I would give her choices: ‘Should this go in the kitchen, under the sink? Should this go in your bedroom, in a drawer? Should it go on top of my head?’”

It was very playful, McCabe says, but it still helped her friend break things down.

“Before, she was really overwhelmed at the prospect of trying to figure out where things went,” McCabe observes, “because there were just too many cognitive steps. Splitting that cognitive load can be incredibly helpful and make tasks that were a real challenge easy for us.”

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McCabe says this is active body doubling — having someone participate in your task. But there’s passive body doubling too — like Simon’s mom sitting with her. In a funny way, many of us have practiced this for years. Maybe you go to a coffee shop to get some work done, or you go to a library to study: All those people sitting around you in those public spaces are kind of unwitting witnesses to your productivity.

Online, alone together

Online, people are creating and finding that kind of accountability. Websites and apps now help you find a task buddy. But there’s an even more popular avenue for finding a virtual body double, either pretaped or live: YouTube videos.

On YouTube, many creators are filming themselves studying, working or cleaning in real time; think of their videos as a friend who’s always up for the grind. McCabe says that these videos can provide a gentle form of accountability for the creators.

“If you don’t do the thing, people will know,” she says. “And if you do do the thing, people will know. So you get a little bit of dopamine hit even from that, even from just going, ‘I’m doing a good job and somebody knows that I’m doing a good job.’”

McCabe says this works not just for the person who made the video but also for the people who use the video.

“The person who’s doing the video is not going to know if you’re actually cleaning or not. But there’s still this gentle social pressure of, ‘Oh, I see somebody cleaning. I feel like I should also be cleaning.’”

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She says these virtual sessions probably aren’t quite as effective as getting together for real, but they are useful in certain situations: if you have an odd schedule, for example, or if you’re suddenly seized with the energy to tackle something you’ve been ducking, or if you deal with social anxiety. “You might not feel comfortable asking somebody in real life to body-double with you,” she says. “And then it can be really powerful.”

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These body-doubling videos — at least hundreds of them are on YouTube — are cumulatively racking up tens of millions of views.

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Hallowell says that even though screen usage can of course be isolating, paradoxically, this kind of creative use of videos might just knit us closer together.

“We live in an age of loneliness,” Hallowell observes. “It’s so paradoxical because we’re connected electronically like never before, but we’ve been disconnecting interpersonally. If you create yourself an audience, even though it’s invisible and online, that makes you feel less lonely. That’s very energizing.”

“It’s not just accountability — it’s imagining an audience,” he adds. “When I write books, I have an audience in mind. And that makes me do much better than if I was just writing for the darkness of the universe.”

Both McCabe and Hallowell say that the technique of body doubling — whether in person or virtual — can help all kinds of people, not just those who have been diagnosed with ADHD and executive-functioning issues.

In an era when we all tend to be at least a little bit distracted a lot of the time, body doubling can help keep us all on track. And maybe try turning off all those phone alerts too.

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Smithsonian chief emphasizes ‘accuracy and integrity’ after White House report

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Smithsonian chief emphasizes ‘accuracy and integrity’ after White House report

Lonnie Bunch III is the 14th Secretary of the Smithsonian. He’s pictured above in September 2017.

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In a memo addressed to staffers sent Tuesday, the secretary of the Smithsonian, Lonnie G. Bunch III, defended the institution after the White House issued a 162-page report that characterizes the National Museum of American History as a place which has become “subject to institutional capture by a radical, activist ideology that is fundamentally opposed to telling the noble, honest story of the great country we know and love.”

In his email, which NPR has obtained, Bunch wrote in part: “While there will always be room for improvement, this report is not a fair characterization of the work and totality of the National Museum of American History. At the Smithsonian, our work is driven by scholarship, accuracy and an uncompromising commitment to tell the fullness of America’s story. As public servants and the keepers of this institution, we are charged with helping a nation find understanding, hope and clarity and as part of that duty, we are dedicated to excellence, reflection and growth.”

He continued: “We remain focused on what grounds us: a steadfast commitment to scholarship, nonpartisanship, independence, accuracy and integrity. For nearly 180 years, the Smithsonian has worked alongside partners across government — from the White House to Congress to our governing Board of Regents — guided by our enduring mission to increase and diffuse knowledge. That purpose remains: to pursue knowledge with rigor and to serve the American public with clarity and care.”

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The White House report was issued on July 4 by the Domestic Policy Council under the title “Saving America’s Story: How Ideological Capture at the Smithsonian Institution’s National Museum of American History Erases Our Heritage.”

The council faults the National Museum of American History on a multitude of fronts, saying it underemphasized the Founding Fathers and early colonial and Revolutionary history; was not sufficiently celebratory of the country’s 250th anniversary; and that it engaged in “anti-white,” “illegal alien” and transgender activism.

It also accuses the museum of trying to “indoctrinate” teachers and students through its exhibitions, programming and teaching resources.

In the report, the council also specifically criticizes museum director Anthea Hartig, who has led the National Museum of American History since 2019 and is concurrently the president of the Organization of American Historians, calling her “an activist advancing an ideological agenda contradictory to the museum’s founding purpose of fostering patriotism.”

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After her son’s death, she found a new purpose. ‘He’s whispering: Mom, this is your path’

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After her son’s death, she found a new purpose. ‘He’s whispering: Mom, this is your path’

It was after the death of her son, Laith, that Esme Saleh decided to become a folk artist.

She had always been creative, experimenting with watercolors and learning to sew and embroider at a young age.

“I had a creative inkling,” she said, “but I never pursued it.”

Everything changed on Aug. 17, 2013.

In this series, we highlight independent makers and artists, from glassblowers to fiber artists, who are creating original products in and around Los Angeles.

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When Saleh was nine months pregnant, she woke up with stomach pains and presumed she was in labor. She and her husband, Nasim, immediately went to the hospital, where doctors checked her and put the baby on a heart monitor. Saleh’s blood pressure was high, however, and the baby’s heart rate kept dropping. After about an hour, his heartbeat stopped. Doctors rushed her in for an emergency C-section, but it was too late. Laith did not survive.

Saleh lost a tremendous amount of blood and developed postpartum HELLP syndrome, a dangerous form of preeclampsia, but doctors were able to stabilize her.

When she woke up, the first thing she asked was, “How’s my baby?”

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Esme Saleh sits with her dogs at home

After losing her son in 2013, Esme Saleh left her job as a television producer. Since then, she has sold her hand-painted candles to local designers in Los Angeles and to LVMH in Paris.

“Aug. 17, 2013, was the most difficult day of my life, and Aug. 22 was the second most difficult, the day we drove home with an empty car seat,” she said of her and her husband’s new reality.

They named their son Laith Finn Saleh.

“His first name means ‘lion’ in Arabic. His middle name is an ode to Huckleberry Finn — sharp wit, kind heart, strong moral compass — all the attributes he’s imparted on us in spirit,” said Saleh, 45.

After such a devastating loss, she found it difficult to trust the world again. “It was hard to trust anything,” she said. “The medical system. Myself. It made me realize the fragility of bringing anything to life. We take so much for granted.”

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So after years of working as a television producer, Saleh left broadcast journalism and leaned into her creative spirit.

She grew up in San Diego. Her mother was raised on a farm in Mexico, and her father moved from Tijuana to Los Angeles to be near her mother, who started working for a family in Sherman Oaks at 16. They eventually settled in San Diego, where Saleh’s father, now a church deacon, worked as a car salesman.

TORRANCE, CA - June 24, 2026: Candles dry at Esme Saleh's home in Torrance on Wednesday, June 24, 2026. (Christina House / Los Angeles Times)
TORRANCE, CA - June 24, 2026: Esme Saleh paints candles at her home in Torrance on Wednesday, June 24, 2026. (Christina House / Los Angeles Times)
Esme Saleh paints a candle in her dining room

“The word Mystic has also become a driving force of what this journey means to me,” Saleh says. “A magical, otherworldly journey that has led me to some beautiful friendships, projects and unlimited well of curiosity. When I paint each pair of candles, it feels like I’m imparting a piece of that magic.”

“He always wanted to be a weatherman on TV,” she said, explaining how he hoped to get his big break on television by doing a weather report from the car lot.

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Saleh wanted to be a broadcast journalist as her father had. After graduating from San Diego State, she interned in the sports department at CBS affiliate KFMB-TV although she didn’t know much about sports. She enjoyed sharing information with people, learned how to write plays of the week and felt she had found the right career.

But during a summer class at Mesa College, she started to think journalism might not be for her.

Paintings on a wall above a dresser with artwork.
Candles and flowers decorate the mantle at Esme Saleh's home.

Saleh’s home is filled with her artwork. “My home expresses a lot of the things that I do,” she says. “If it works here, then I feel like I can put it out in the world.”

“I’m an empath — a sensitive soul — so when I was reading news about death and destruction, my eyes could not lie,” she said. Her professor told her, “This may not be your thing.” But when she arranged flowers on camera, she really came alive. She decided to work behind the scenes as a producer.

Her professor helped her get her first network news job in 2003, and she moved to Los Angeles, working on hard news and entertainment coverage.

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After losing Laith a decade later, she couldn’t keep doing red-carpet interviews and acting like everything was fine. “It all felt so different, superficial and hard,” she said. “I felt like there was a bigger purpose out there for me. It’s in the small things that we find the big things.”

She started by painting folk art-inspired invitations for a friend’s baby shower. She painted delicate flowers, oranges and leaves on glass, leather and even lampshades. She created a logo. “I was just trying to say yes to things that were really scary,” she said. “Laith gave me the courage to do that.”

Esme Saleh is reflected in a mirror at her home above candles.

“I was just trying to get out of hole,” Saleh says of taking up painting after her son died.

Her first son, she said, became “a catalyst for painting.”

Then, at the first Thanksgiving during the COVID-19 pandemic when people could gather again, she had a light-bulb moment. “I was setting the table and didn’t have flowers or anything to add to decorate, so I thought, ‘I have these candles. I’m going to paint them and make them fancy,’ ” she said.

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Her guests were impressed.

As time went on, painting taper candles helped her find joy again, and others noticed too.

“The one thing I hear when people pick up a pair of my candles is, ‘This makes me so happy. It makes me feel like there’s life here,’ ” she said.

1 A lampshade painted by Esme Saleh.

2 Leather napkin rings Saleh has painted for Nathan Turner.

3 floral prainted taper candles

1. Saleh sometimes leads painting workshops where participants can decorate items like ornaments and lampshades.
2. Leather napkin rings Saleh has painted for Nathan Turner. 3. Saleh’s hand-painted candles retail for approximately $42 to $50.

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One of the hardest parts of losing a child “is that you’re not just grieving the person, you’re grieving the future you imagined with them,” said Chicago-based grief specialist Carla Harvey. “A lifetime of love suddenly has nowhere to go. Creating art doesn’t erase grief, but it can become a way to carry it.”

Saleh created her brand Mystic by Esme in 2021, but it took her some time before she could gather the courage to try to sell them.

When she brought a shoebox full of samples to Nickey Kehoe, the L.A. store agreed to carry her candles. “I was beside myself,” Saleh said.

“Her candles were absolutely beautiful, and she had a fantastic spirit that made selling them a no-brainer,” said interior designer Todd Nickey, co-founder of Nickey Kehoe.

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Saleh gets a surprise kiss from her dog while painting candles in her dining room.

Saleh gets a surprise kiss from her dog Olive while painting candles at her dining room table.

Saleh viewed her new side project as a way to earn extra money for piano lessons for her 11-year-old son Linus, who is an entrepreneur like his mother. “I felt proud painting the candles while he was in lessons in the next room,” she said. “It became this circular economy, and it led to bigger opportunities for me.”

Last year, luxury conglomerate LVMH commissioned Saleh to paint 465 pairs of candles, or 930 candles in total, for its Chaumet jewelry brand. The collection was unveiled at an elaborate event at the Abbaye des Vaux de Cernay, just outside Paris.

“It was fun,” Saleh said about the process, which took six months from conception to delivery. “I felt like I was dressing my candles up for a party.”

Always a hard worker, which she attributes to being a first-generation child of immigrant parents, Saleh has now created a candle collection for Pierce and Ward in Los Feliz, leather napkin holders for interior designer Nathan Turner and pomegranate wrapping paper for Olive Ateliers. The candles retail between $42 to $50 for a pair, and recently, she developed a handsome pewter candle shaver that will be released in the winter.

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Saleh paints candles at her home.

Her dining room can sometimes feel like “an assembly line,” Saleh says.

Esme Saleh holds a pair of candles she has painted with florals.

Saleh holds a pair of candles she has embellished with florals.

Occasionally, she leads painting workshops, and she loves helping others tap into their creativity. The most meaningful one for her was an ornament workshop attended by several victims of the 2025 Los Angeles wildfires. “Without saying anything, we understood each other,” she said. “I understood that they were trying to create memories.”

Saleh knows what it means for things not to last — “impermanence,” she calls it — whether it is homes, candles or life itself.

She paints every day in the art-filled dining room of her home (unless it’s Little League season), surrounded by her family, candles and her two dogs, Lennon and Olive. ”Painting is like meditation,” she said. “You can sit in your dining room and tune everything out and just be in the moment.”

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A summer wish list tacked to the wall.

Even the family’s summer bucket list receives an artistic flourish.

White flowers painted on a yellow arch inside Esme Saleh's home.

An arch inside Saleh’s home receives a personalized touch.

She knows painting candles isn’t new, but she believes her motivation and the care she puts into each candle makes them special beyond their looks.

She has learned to look at the world that way, that painting in her dining room has offered her healing and joy, that she can trust herself and her body, that continuing to be inspired by her two boys — “one in spirit and the other here on Earth” — means that Laith will always be with her.

Many people think healing means moving on, said grief specialist Harvey, but “it’s really about finding ways to move forward while keeping the people we love woven into our lives. That’s what I see in her candles, not an ending, but an ongoing relationship with her son.”

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“I feel like my son is channeling through this medium,” Saleh said, her voice breaking as she painted a taper. “He’s whispering to me, ‘Mom, this is your path.’ That has been my driving force. We’re going to grow this together.”

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Terry Tempest Williams on why women with big ideas get labeled ‘crazy’ : Wild Card with Rachel Martin

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Terry Tempest Williams on why women with big ideas get labeled ‘crazy’  : Wild Card with Rachel Martin

A note from Wild Card host Rachel Martin: I met Terry Tempest Williams about 25 years ago at a writer’s conference in Yosemite Valley. I was a young reporter who was there to do a story about how literature was addressing climate change and she made such a huge impression on me. I had never heard someone talk about the natural world the way Terry did and she had a spiritual depth I hadn’t encountered in my life at that point.

To this day, Terry’s writing always reorients me towards what is good, what is beautiful, and what is true. Her newest book is called “The Glorians.”

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