Sez Me …

Baseball was founded on two things: Failure and rumor.

Gossip is much more fun, although in this era of Unsocial Media, the grapes from the vine can be stupid-bitter and much more toxic than anything Louella Parsons and Hedda Hopper came up with during Hollywood’s golden age.

Anyway, as the second half of the MLB season begins, one has caught my eye, the snowballing rumor that Padres GM A.J. Preller’s seat is white-hot, that he will be out if his team doesn’t make the playoffs (a distinct possibility) and spend his time scouting Latin America, where he can find players to trade away.

It’s not surprising. But I’ve heard this all before, and I remain hard to convince.

It’s not a Manhattan Project secret that I’m not a fan of Preller, nor him of me. That’s fine. I have managed to get by without his bon mots during his time in charge, and somehow — thanks largely to late owner Peter Seidler’s loyalty to his GM — so has he.

He’s working on his fourth manager (Mike “Rose Colored Glasses” Shildt), and has yet to do much of anything more than spend hundreds of millions of Seidler’s money. His record is almost 100 games below .500. I can think of no GM — outside of Cowboys owner Jerry Jones — who could get away with losing for so long.

But, I have been thinking this team may be Preller’s best work. As it is at this moment, it isn’t even a good club, terribly uneven, with awful elevator moments of good, just enough, and zilch.

While I’m certain the current ineptitude of the game as a whole has helped them remain hovering at .500, they have managed to remain in playoff contention despite their foibles.

Consider:

• The Pads’ top two starters — Yu Darvish and Joe Musgrove — have been absent forever. Yu, citing personal issues, may be gone for the season. Joe could be back in a month. What Preller has done with the starting unit during their absence has provided enough buoyancy to keep their heads above the waves.

• Fernando Tatis Jr., their best player, the game’s best right fielder and up there among the most gifted athletes, has a stress reaction in his right femur and hasn’t played since June 21. There remains no timeline for his return.

• Manny Machado’s offseason elbow surgery damaged him at the plate for many weeks and he’s just now coming around to being a threat with the bat.

• Preller’s signing of left fielder Jurickson Profar prior to the season seemed like a $1-million afterthought to most (not me). He’s been their best player and his enthusiasm brings fun to the dreary.

• Expensive Xander Bogaerts hasn’t been near what he was in Boston, but he missed a lot of time with a busted shoulder and has just returned. Maybe he’s not as advertised, but there is threat there. He isn’t a stiff and you start because you’re better than your replacements.

• Robert Suarez has been a  find as the closer.

• Ha-Seong Kim is a fine fielding shortstop with a Gold Glove, and yet through most of the first half he was far too unreliable. He’s improved, but he’s been a run-saver in the past. Saving runs can mean wins.

• Preller drafted Jackson Merrill as a shortstop, and lacking a center fielder — so important in Petco — he put Jackson out there. Success. He’s a Rookie of the Year candidate and an All-Star.

• Preller made a trade with Miami for Luis Arraez, a batting champion in both leagues. He can hit a baseball with great regularity, although he isn’t very good at doing anything else. His production has dropped recently due to a jammed thumb, which makes me wonder why the hell he’s been playing with it.

I can just guess how much weight baseball managers carry. Shildt, who doesn’t seem to believe the media and fans have eyes, is a strong candidate for World Optimist Hall of Fame, who all too often sprays cologne on crap. But somehow he’s been a captain managing to throw enough lifesavers to keep his team afloat.

If Preller holds to form, he will buy, not sell, at the trade deadline — even if his team doesn’t appear playoff-worthy.

Alas, if the Padres play into October, the fishes will be sleeping alongside the rumors. …

Nerds say home plate umps blew nearly 17,000 ball-and-strike calls during the first half. So I don’t want to hear the blue men aren’t getting better. …

A Dodger won Home Run Derby. Now I like it even less. …

Derby TV ratings were the lowest since 2014. America (partially) wising up. …

Baseball’s All-Star Game is the only one of its kind that can do it. Players should wear their team uniforms. The ones they wore last week were designed by people who were asked by MLB fashion geniuses to come up with something swell after spending their entire lives in caves. …

Great news for the rest of the AFC East. Dolphins owner Stephen Ross is dumping his other business interests to focus on the team. …

Billions of dollars are being spent on quarterbacks. And yet Patrick Mahomes is the only active NFL QB  under 35 who has won a Super Bowl.  …

Caleb Williams wanted more money from the Bears than he got in NIL at USC. Barely exceeded it — $39 million over four years. …

Baseball sign: “Nobody cares how hard you throw ball four.” …

San Diego sign on a car: “Dodging potholes. Not drunk.” We have so much to be proud of. …

RIP, brilliant Bob Newhart. When he arrived at Johnny Carson’s palatial Malibu home: “Where’s the front desk?” When asked why he never corrected his stammer: “What do you think got me my home in Beverly Hills?” …

RIP, Abner Haynes. There are backs in the Hall of Fame who weren’t Abner. …

RIP, Dr. Ruth Westheimer. Unfortunately, I’ve forgotten everything you taught me. …

RIP, Richard Simmons. I never tried to do anything you taught me. …

RIP, Joe Bryant. I liked Jelly a lot, a marvelous talent who, unlike son Kobe, couldn’t consistently put it to use. …

Princess Kate went to Wimbledon and a big deal was made of it. Just because she had to pay for tickets. …

Rafael Devers home-runned so hard it broke a seat in Fenway. Know what that means? Bad seat. …

Fans broke through security prior to the Copa America finale when they heard it was possible a goal might be scored. …

Ingrid Andress admits she was drunk during her All-Star  Game butchering of “The Star-Spangled Banner.” There’s never been a clear explanation as to why it’s sung prior to our sporting events. But, patriotic as I am, I have to say that, if it were not, anthem problems would be few. …

I don’t know how many people go into work anymore, but if you do, does the anthem play before you sit down at your desk? …

If you “almost” did something, you didn’t do something. …

I know enough about politics to believe that, if you’re passing the torch, you’d better be sure the person you’re passing it to can grab it.

Originally Published: July 20, 2024 at 1:00 p.m.