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L.A. Affairs: I said, 'I love you.' She quickly replied, 'As a friend, right?'

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L.A. Affairs: I said, 'I love you.' She quickly replied, 'As a friend, right?'

My eyes scanned the crowd in the arrivals area of Terminal 5 at Los Angeles International Airport. Then I saw her face, framed by a curtain of espresso-colored hair, peeking out from behind a cement pillar.

We had never met before face to face, but I knew Stacy and everything about her. Her arms reached out to wrap around me, and she squeezed hard. Her hug held the intoxicating scent of jasmine, reminding me of stolen summer nights capturing fireflies. This hug, forged in two years of whispered messages and stolen phone calls, felt like a homecoming to a place I had only dreamed of.

Two years prior, on Jan. 17, 1994, the Northridge earthquake shook her parents’ Porter Ranch home violently, waking her and her family from their slumber. In the aftermath of the quake, as the San Fernando Valley itself was adrift, there was no school at Granada Hills High School, no movies and no trips to Bullock’s at the Northridge Fashion Center. Instead, she sought solace from boredom by dialing into America Online and joining one of the many chat rooms, searching for something to cure the monotony.

Meanwhile, a world away in Connecticut, a blizzard had painted the landscape white across New England, dumping feet of snow and ice. Schools were closed for a few days, and I also dialed into AOL in search of an answer to teenage boredom. Hiding behind a computer screen, hoping to share a flirtatious moment with a girl, I joined a teen chat room. Almost immediately, I saw her screen name, Stacyface. She was very witty and had razor-sharp quips, parrying every attempt at connection with playful defiance. A ritual of teenage hieroglyphics unfolded, etched in the flickering glow of the screen.

Pun1sher: hi.

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Stacyface: a/s/l

Pun1sher: 14/m/CT u?

Stacyface: 14/f/LA

The awkwardness that only AOL instant messages could spawn stretched for an eternity. Then inspiration struck. What better way to prove our existence than to share our voices? My heart was thundering like a war drum as I dialed.

“Hello?” she said, the air thick with nervous static.

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“Hi,” I said. My voice was a mere squeak trapped in the vastness of the phone line. My pubescent nerves did a pirouette in my stomach as we hung up, retreating to the haven of instant messages. Our hearts were fluttering like trapped butterflies.

For months, we found each other on AOL and instant messaged each other daily. AOL became our confession booth, the dial-up hum connecting two souls across a continent. We called each other nightly, discussing the trials and tribulations of our teenage lives. We sent letters in the mail and via email and exchanged birthday and Valentine’s Day gifts. We called each other so often that we lived in fear of our parents when the phone bill arrived monthly.

After a year of our digital friendship, I sat 3,000 miles away in my bedroom, but one night, I said to her: “I love you.” Almost without processing, she quickly replied, “As a friend, right?” Without wanting to rock our relationship at all, I said, “Yes.” In hindsight, we were in love with each other, but only one of us was willing to admit it. A year into this digital long-distance relationship, we told our parents it was time for us to meet. They decided that if, in another year, we were still friends, I would fly to Los Angeles and we would meet.

Back at LAX, Stacy hugged me tightly as her mom, Cheryl, came over to greet me. One of the strangest and most awkward experiences you can ever imagine is knowing someone so intimately from talking on the phone for hundreds of hours but never having met them in person. Her family graciously allowed me to stay with them for a week and they showed this small-town New Englander all that Los Angeles had to offer.

I was enthralled and fell in love with Los Angeles: dinner in Beverly Hills with a tour of Rodeo Drive, tickets for “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno,” a Dodger game, shopping at a lot of the stores on Ventura Boulevard, a day spent at Universal Studios Hollywood, a day spent at Disneyland, shopping at Third Street Promenade, and driving up Pacific Coast Highway with a tour of Malibu and hitting Froggy’s in Topanga on the way home. Seeing L.A. this way made me fall just as hard for the city as I did for Stacy. We shared our first kiss before I left to go back to Connecticut. Perhaps it was that kiss that sealed our fate.

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Another year passed, and the time spent on the phone melted into a kaleidoscope of shared jokes, whispered vulnerabilities and a slow-burning ache that was blooming into something undeniable. As a senior in high school, the path on where I would end up for college was constantly on my mind. I wanted to work in the entertainment industry. L.A. was a likely candidate, but so was New York. One day, three years after we started talking, Stacy laid it out clearly for me: “I think that if you don’t go to school in California, there really is no point for us to continue to have a relationship.” Wow, the old ultimatum.

I started as a freshman in the cinema and television arts program at California State University, Northridge, joining Stacy at the school in August of that year. I told my friends and family that CSUN had an excellent TV program, which was the primary reason I was there. But the reality was that I loved Stacy, and she loved me; there was no place I would rather be than with her.

The author is the director of rights and clearances at “Access Hollywood” and E! News. He has been married to Stacy for 17 years and has two children. They reside in Porter Ranch. He’s on Instagram: @orourkesean

L.A. Affairs chronicles the search for romantic love in all its glorious expressions in the L.A. area, and we want to hear your true story. We pay $400 for a published essay. Email LAAffairs@latimes.com. You can find submission guidelines here. You can find past columns here.

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Mundane, magic, maybe both — a new book explores ‘The Writer’s Room’

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Mundane, magic, maybe both — a new book explores ‘The Writer’s Room’

There’s a three-story house in Baltimore that looks a bit imposing. You walk up the stone steps before even getting up to the porch, and then you enter the door and you’re greeted with a glass case of literary awards. It’s The Clifton House, formerly home of Lucille Clifton.

The National Book Award-winning poet lived there with her husband, Fred, starting in 1967 until the bank foreclosed on the house in 1980. Clifton’s daughter, Sidney Clifton, has since revived the house and turned it into a cultural hub, hosting artists, readings, workshops and more. But even during a February visit, in the mid-afternoon with no organized events on, the house feels full.

The corner of Lucille Clifton's bedroom, where she would wake up and write in the mornings

The corner of Lucille Clifton’s bedroom, where she would wake up and write in the mornings

Andrew Limbong/NPR


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Andrew Limbong/NPR

“There’s a presence here,” Clifton House Executive Director Joël Díaz told me. “There’s a presence here that sits at attention.”

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Sometimes, rooms where famous writers worked can be places of ineffable magic. Other times, they can just be rooms.

The Writer’s Room: The Hidden Worlds That Shape the Books We Love

Princeton University Press

Katie da Cunha Lewin is the author of the new book, The Writer’s Room: The Hidden Worlds That Shape the Books We Love, which explores the appeal of these rooms. Lewin is a big Virginia Woolf fan, and the very first place Lewin visited working on the book was Monk’s House — Woolf’s summer home in Sussex, England. On the way there, there were dreams of seeing Woolf’s desk, of retracing Woolf’s steps and imagining what her creative process would feel like. It turned out to be a bit of a disappointment for Lewin — everything interesting was behind glass, she said. Still, in the book Lewin writes about how she took a picture of the room and saved it on her phone, going back to check it and re-check it, “in the hope it would allow me some of its magic.”

Let’s be real, writing is a little boring. Unlike a band on fire in the recording studio, or a painter possessed in their studio, the visual image of a writer sitting at a desk click-clacking away at a keyboard or scribbling on a piece of paper isn’t particularly exciting. And yet, the myth of the writer’s room continues to enrapture us. You can head to Massachusetts to see where Louisa May Alcott wrote Little Women. Or go down to Florida to visit the home of Zora Neale Hurston. Or book a stay at the Scott & Zelda Fitzgerald Museum in Alabama, where the famous couple lived for a time. But what, exactly, is the draw?

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Lewin said in an interview that whenever she was at a book event or an author reading, an audience question about the writer’s writing space came up. And yes, some of this is basic fan-driven curiosity. But also “it started to occur to me that it was a central mystery about writing, as if writing is a magic thing that just happens rather than actually labor,” she said.

In a lot of ways, the book is a debunking of the myths we’re presented about writers in their rooms. She writes about the types of writers who couldn’t lock themselves in an office for hours on end, and instead had to find moments in-between to work on their art. She covers the writers who make a big show of their rooms, as a way to seem more writerly. She writes about writers who have had their homes and rooms preserved, versus the ones whose rooms have been lost to time and new real estate developments. The central argument of the book is that there is no magic formula to writing — that there is no daily to-do list to follow, no just-right office chair to buy in order to become a writer. You just have to write.

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Bruce Johnston Retiring From The Beach Boys After 61 Years

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Bruce Johnston Retiring From The Beach Boys After 61 Years

Bruce Johnston
I’m Riding My Last Wave With The Beach Boys

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On the brink of death, a woman is saved by a stranger and his family

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On the brink of death, a woman is saved by a stranger and his family

In 1982, Jean Muenchrath was injured in a mountaineering accident and on the brink of death when a stranger and his family went out of their way to save her life.

Jean Muenchrath


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Jean Muenchrath

In early May 1982, Jean Muenchrath and her boyfriend set out on a mountaineering trip in the Sierra Nevada, a mountain range in California. They had done many backcountry trips in the area before, so the terrain was somewhat familiar to both of them. But after they reached one of the summits, a violent storm swept in. It began to snow heavily, and soon the pair was engulfed in a blizzard, with thunder and lightning reverberating around them.

“Getting struck and killed by lightning was a real possibility since we were the highest thing around for miles and lightning was striking all around us,” Muenchrath said.

To reach safer ground, they decided to abandon their plan of taking a trail back. Instead, using their ice axes, they climbed down the face of the mountain through steep and icy snow chutes.

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They were both skilled at this type of descent, but at one particularly difficult part of the route, Muenchrath slipped and tumbled over 100 feet down the rocky mountain face. She barely survived the fall and suffered life-threatening injuries.

This was before cellular or satellite phones, so calling for help wasn’t an option. The couple was forced to hike through deep snow back to the trailhead. Once they arrived, Muenchrath collapsed in the parking lot. It had been five days since she’d fallen.

 ”My clothes were bloody. I had multiple fractures in my spine and pelvis, a head injury and gangrene from a deep wound,” Muenchrath said.

Not long after they reached the trailhead parking lot, a car pulled in. A man was driving, with his wife in the passenger seat and their baby in the back. As soon as the man saw Muenchrath’s condition, he ran over to help.

 ”He gently stroked my head, and he held my face [and] reassured me by saying something like, ‘You’re going to be OK now. I’ll be right back to get you,’” Muenchrath remembered.

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For the first time in days, her panic began to lift.

“My unsung hero gave me hope that I’d reach a hospital and I’d survive. He took away my fears.”

Within a few minutes, the man had unpacked his car. His wife agreed to stay back in the parking lot with their baby in order to make room for Muenchrath, her boyfriend and their backpacks.

The man drove them to a nearby town so that the couple could get medical treatment.

“I remember looking into the eyes of my unsung hero as he carried me into the emergency room in Lone Pine, California. I was so weak, I couldn’t find the words to express the gratitude I felt in my heart.”

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The gratitude she felt that day only grew. Now, nearly 45 years later, she still thinks about the man and his family.

 ”He gave me the gift of allowing me to live my life and my dreams,” Muenchrath said.

At some point along the way, the man gave Muenchrath his contact information. But in the chaos of the day, she lost it and has never been able to find him.

 ”If I knew where my unsung hero was today, I would fly across the country to meet him again. I’d hug him, buy him a meal and tell him how much he continues to mean to me by saving my life. Wherever you are, I say thank you from the depths of my being.”

My Unsung Hero is also a podcast — new episodes are released every Tuesday. To share the story of your unsung hero with the Hidden Brain team, record a voice memo on your phone and send it to myunsunghero@hiddenbrain.org.

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