Oklahoma
Sore Winner: A Second (Hate) Letter To Oklahoma State
“I’ve come right here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I am all out of bubblegum.”
–“Rowdy” Roddy Piper
Pukes,
I write this as a mandatory correction to my prior “expensive opponent” letter, figuring out no higher, in referring to our relationship as a “comparatively pleasant rivalry.” I even went as far as to counsel we form of favored you.
Boy, was I ever mistaken.
Think about me a poor choose of character.
As has been mentioned broadly on social media, and was skilled by variety of the Horned Frog crowd, you had the temerity to interact in your silly, onanistic (look it up, philistines!) chants throughout an harm timeout.
Twice.
One of many Frog devoted on-line precisely referred to as you “trash individuals.” One other used a four-letter expletive (look it up!) I can’t file right here for the worry it might give individuals equivalent to you encouragement.
The silly have by no means been inclined to irony.
The primary time, I used to be inclined towards forgiveness. It was fairly potential, I reasoned, you have been merely unaware a person was down and had given yourselves to the momentum and spirit of the sport, nevertheless tactlessly. Comprehensible. Gross. However none of us is ideal.
You then did it once more.
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So, on behalf of all of Frogdom, I might wish to say, in no unsure phrases, with no equivocation (look it up!): you suck. And also you blow. You suck and blow on the similar time; it is best to attempt your collective fingers on the saxophone since you would have the strategy of round respiratory down very quickly. You’d run Kenny G proper out of enterprise. And possibly discover a option to play worse music.
The final ten minutes of that sport should have been excruciating. I hope they have been. You see, you might be studying the phrases of a person who has brazenly advocated the direct concentrating on of opposing quarterbacks as a smart profitable strategy–and I’ve prompt any and all means shy of capturing them. However think about this: I’m a satirist, it is my job sometimes to be humorous, and additional, I proclaim myself an fool in the case of all issues sports-related. And relative to that, my being an fool and a satirist, within the depths of my most sadistic inclinations, I might by no means have thought-about, no not even dreamed, of partaking in a chant when a participant for the opposite workforce was injured.
So, I’m a clown, and within the service of jokes couldn’t conceive of 1 as malicious as you yourselves proved to be.
I hope you’ve got a really quiet, unhappy journey again residence to Oklahoma, the place you belong. Sadly, judging by the orange shirts that populated Joe T’s following the sport, disgrace, self-reflection, introspection and primary decency appear as overseas to your nature because the magnanimity (look it up!) you did not exhibit whereas profitable. Please permit me the enjoyment of gloating yet another time that we kicked your ass.
I consider my precise phrases when the household sat to dinner have been: “As obnoxious as they’re after a loss, might you think about what they might have been like had they gained?”
To which I acquired a quiet nod from the daddy.
Think about this a large middle-finger. And better of luck with that silly mascot of yours that appears like he was drawn from a finger portray of America’s Most Wished—Intercourse Offenders Version.
Good riddance.
With Contempt!
Tyler Mom-Lovin Brown
P.S., I hope you lose to each workforce within the Large 12; you might be solely allowed to beat Baylor and UT, and admittedly, even with them, it is a coin toss. I will be ready for that $10,000,000 you owe me.
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