Grieving Oklahoma Mother Advocates for School Bullying Reform After Son’s Tragic Suicide

TULSA, Okla. (KTUL) — Kalah Ballance is a mother of two whose 12-year-old son, Eli, took his own life after being bullied.

“My ten-year-old texted me a little bit after they got home and he said, Eli shot himself,” said Ballance. She fought back the tears as she recounted one of the last conversations she had with her son, “That morning it was, I love you have a good day make good choices. ‘I love you too Mom, I’ll see you tonight’.”

Ballance told NewsChannel 8 that the bullying had been happening for years leading up to Eli’s death. She says that she had relentlessly contacted school officials and, even after her son’s hand was broken on the bus following an altercation with a bully, she was met with a response no parent wants to hear.

“I even asked the superintendent ‘What are we going to do to keep Eli safe’ and I got met with, ‘Well we can’t promise and guarantee anything, but we will try,” said Ballance.

The Oklahoma Education Association reported that 40% to 80% of students experience bullying at some point. Now Ballance is calling on schools to do better.

“The schools need to do better; they need to be better. They have their anti-bullying policies, which are a joke, they don’t follow them. You know, it’s always the same story, my child is being bullied the school won’t do anything,” says Ballance.

Psychiatrist and owner of Lighthouse Psychiatry, Dayana Arteaga, says that the school’s support and intervention are important when it comes to stopping bullying and supporting students who are being bullied.

“I think it’s really important for schools to be paying close attention when bullying is taking place and to take it very seriously. There are disciplinary actions that can be taken against kids that engage in bullying to make sure that the student body as a whole knows that it’s really important to not engage in those behaviors,” Arteaga said.

Ballance says they are in the early stages of forming a movement in Eli’s honor that will push for legislation to help end bullying in schools as well as provide speakers to shed light on the serious implications that come with it. The movement can be followed on the Facebook page Eli’s Love.