Teslas have taken over Austin roads, Texas locals are bummed

Living in Austin, one learns to hate a lot of things: transplants, traffic (unless you’re Evil MoPac), the unending heat, everything good closing. And, for some reason, the Tesla driver.

On its face, a Tesla is supposedly a net positive for society. Embraced both by the kinds of people who want to save the planet from a climate disaster and those who believe that climate change is part of the liberal agenda, Tesla would seem to be a real aisle-crosser.

But in Austin, where more than 3,000 Tesla Model Y’s are produced every week, the car is often the subject of ire. This sort of thing is so ubiquitous and widespread that it’s almost not worth talking about. But, you know, I need something to write about on a Monday.

Growing up in New Jersey, we complained about Pennsylvania drivers and they complained about us. So did New York, who also complained about Connecticut (and they might have a point). Everyone on the Eastern Seaboard complained about Massholes. 

But because Texas is so large, and Austin so far from a border on every side, the griping usually has less to do with the license plate than it does with the make of the car. Notably, Austin at large has long had its issues with the BMW driver, the joke being that at some point the luxury car maker should consider installing turn signals on its cars sold in the state.

But now, for reasons related to Elon Musk, class stratification, and the city’s recent influx of Californians — all three are interlinked, too, if you think about it — the white Tesla with California plates has become public enemy number one.

A recent Reddit post asked the rhetorical question: “What is the worst kind of vehicle in Austin, and why is it a white Tesla with California plates?” on the r/Austin page and immediately got hundreds of replies.

“Every time I see one I expect to see some ‘Tesla behavior’ and they never disappoint,” one poster responded, to the original poster’s prompt of “What’s your dumbest Tesla driver story?”

Others made fun of the car as the new status symbol.

“Teslas are the new BMW,” one poster wrote. “Just pricey enough to show conspicuous wealth, but not so pricey as to be a difficult monthly payment.”

Others bucked the trend and decided that the white Tesla with California plates was a diversion from the actual worst drivers in Austin: those at the wheel of a Ford F-150.

“Everyone knows the real bad villain is the giant F-150 w/ truck nuts rolling coal,” one poster wrote.

Another wrote: “I’m far more concerned about the white Ford pickups on I35.”

“Id argue giant lifted trucks that have no business in the city are worse,” another dissented.

Only one poster was correct, however, and I regret to inform you that it is a person from Dallas.

“Dallas lurker here,” they wrote, “this is the most Austin thing I could possibly imagine lol.”

Sometimes we need some outside perspective, even if it comes from the Metroplex. Point taken.