OBF: For Celtics, more questions than answers

Instead of raising Banner 18, the Celtics have opted to wave a white flag.

Boston trails Miami 3-0 in the Eastern Conference Finals. Game 4 is in South Florida tonight.

Miami’s airport abbreviation is MIA. The Celtics have been all that in more during this series. Boston was DOA 10 minutes into Game 3. By the start of the fourth quarter, it was RIP for this run to the NBA Finals. Afterward, the entire basketball universe asked “WTF?”

In 2023, the DNA of the Celtics no longer includes winning championships. It’s been 15 years. This version lacks heart, hustle, and muscle. They are more 1998 than 2008. They’ve replaced “Ubuntu” with “Oh, not you, too?”

The good news? According to ESPN Analytics, the Celtics still have a 114% chance to win this series.

The motto of these Celtics has morphed from “Unfinished Business” to “Next Question.”

There will be so many this offseason.

Will the coach be fired? Will they offer Jaylen Brown a max contract? How much more Marcus Smart can anyone take? Has anyone seen Al Horford?

We slammed the Celtics in this space on Sunday for not backing up Grant Williams’ after he dared to “poke the bear” that is Jimmy Butler Friday night. Everyone else caught up Monday.

After Game 2, Brown infamously answered “next question” when asked about Williams’ tête-a-tête with Jimmy Buckets.

No one trash talked Gabe Vincent Sunday.

Yet, the undrafted Miami guard outscored Jayson Tatum and Brown combined with 29 points for the victorious and dominant Heat.

Sunday, after the Celtics were curb-stomped by the Heat 128-102, Brown said the loss was “embarrassing” and that the team let down its “fan base, organization,” and “ourselves.”

If he only was able to do something about it.

Gary Washburn of the Globe tweeted that Brown is “biting his tongue from telling his truth,” “has a lot on his mind,” and that there are “real issues in that locker room.”

How long will it take for Brown to claim he is a victim of systemic oppression?

Brown’s self-castigation rings as hollow as he and his teammates.

Anything to avoid the box score.

Brown’s “truth” will never be confused with Paul Pierce’s.

Neither Brown nor Tatum have met the challenge in this series. At least Tatum got you here.

In terms of choke jobs, Brown is trying to surpass the 2023 Bruins all by himself. Brown’s only “real issue” is that he went a combined 13-for-40 in Games 2 and 3 while hitting just 1 of 14 attempted 3-pointers. He has been outscored by both Caleb Martin and Vincent in this series.

Don’t be surprised if we get a 2023 version of “chicken and beer” soon. We’ll be told about locker room dysfunction. That the team was split into factions. That Tatum and Brown barely communicated all season. Blah. Blah. Blah.

None of this good stuff is ever reported in real time. It if was, thousands would have saved millions backing this team to win the NBA Finals.

The Celtics lost the Finals last year, in part, because they were awestruck by being on the same court with Steph Curry, committed 100 turnovers, and possessed a glaring lack of offensive production off the bench.

Their effort was never questioned, even if their “inner dog” had long since been neutered.

Joe Mazzulla can only shoulder so much of the blame for this Old Testament calamity. The 34-year-old rookie coach went straight from the kiddie pool to the shark tank. The devilish duo of Erik Spoelstra and Pat Riley would give the Ghost of Red Auerbach fits. Don’t blame Clueless Joe for taking advantage of the opportunity he got this season thanks to Ime Udoka’s boorish behavior.

Mazzulla wasn’t up to the part of the job that included having his team “ready to play” in Game 3 of the Eastern Conference Finals when it was in an 0-2 hole.

The NBA is a player’s league. It has been since Magic Johnson tuned out Paul Westhead 42 years ago. His trade request in 1981 resulted in Riley becoming coach of the Lakers.

Could Boston be headed for its fourth coach in four years? This team is ailing. Can Nick Nurse be a healer? Should they page Doc Rivers?

No coach can fix what’s wrong with this group.

In the words of Taylor Swift: “It isn’t love. It isn’t hate. It’s just indifference.”

Eddie House flat-out said the “Celtics quit on their coach” during the NBC Sports Boston post-mortem Sunday. This team has a thing for quitting on coaches. They did it to Brad Stevens, too.

The situation is so despondent for the Celtics that Magic and Charles Barkley expressed their sympathies.

Can it get any worse?

Magic tweeted it was “time for the Boston Celtics to make major changes,” after posting that “I never thought I’d see a Boston Celtics team, a franchise with 17 Championships, quit. I know Celtics fans all over the world must be disgusted and devastated.”

Barkley ripped Boston’s lack of “mental toughness” and mentioned Larry Bird, Kevin Garnett, Kevin McHale, Pierce and even M.L. Carr (he of the towels) among Boston legends who have been aggrieved by this team.

“They have the toughness of a flea.”

Sir Charles saw the Biscayne Bay Iceberg at halftime.

““I’m embarrassed for the Celtics,” Barkley said when Boston was losing by only 15 points. “The lack of mental toughness, it’s embarrassing. That was embarrassing as a Celtics fan.”

After the game, the triumphant Vincent tried to pay the Celtics some respect.

“They’re a really good team, a well-coached team. They got stars. They’re not gonna lay down,” Vincent said on TNT.

Barkley wasn’t having any of it. “Yeah, clearly you didn’t watch the game tonight. Well-coached and don’t lay down? Go look at the tape again.”

No thanks, Chuck.

We’ve seen enough.

Bill Speros (@RealOBF & @BillSperos) can be reached at bsperos1#@gmail.com.