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Who do Ohio State football and Michigan represent in the burger wars? Hey, Nathan!

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COLUMBUS, Ohio — The Ohio State football rivalry with Michigan is serious business, but how dies it compare to the fast food business?

After all, people staunchly defend their choice in burgers and fries as well. One of our Buckeye Talk Subtext subscribers wants to know which drive-thru establishments compares to the storied clash that culminates in The Game every Thanksgiving weekend.

Hey, Nathan: “What would be the most comparable fast food rivalry to the Ohio State-Michigan rivalry?” — Roger from Athens

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Hey, Roger: Before we identify the restaurants, we have to delve into the granular essence of each program.

Michigan is an historic program, even if (until recently) its highest highs were in the distant past. It is a national brand with a cross-country reach. Its current iteration features more substance than flash, with an almost blue-collar reputation. It aspires to blue blood status, but realistically, always feel a step short.

So I say the Wolverines are Burger King. Much like the flame-broiled Whopper, the Big House is an iconic element to a signature brand. Maybe you and your friends rarely if ever suggest going out of your way to eat at BK. But when you do drive thru because it happens to be the most convenient option between errands or court dates or whatever, the quality may be surprisingly adequate.

Ohio State has a similarly historic reputation, though with a more widely respected brand. It feels simultaneously classic and fresh. Still a product of and for the people, there is also no question you are getting a premium brand compared to the competition. The football identity has evolved, such that what your grandfather’s national championships were based on has essentially flipped 180 degrees.

The Buckeyes are Wendy’s. An All-American vibe but with more than a blue collar reputation. Just as someone might call out “O-H” when they see you wearing Buckeye gear in an airport in Northern Europe, you expect to be able to order a Frosty during your layover. Just as you’ve come to expect a Heisman Trophy finalist on an annual basis, the spicy chicken sandwich keeps delivering.

As for which one wins — well, in football, that’s not merely a matter of taste. Unless OSU tweaks the menu a bit, or at least enhances some recipes, it may lose more business this fall.

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