Connect with us

Lifestyle

Ilana Glazer appreciates how becoming a parent forced them to draw some lines

Published

on

Ilana Glazer appreciates how becoming a parent forced them to draw some lines

Ilana Glazer at Hulu’s “Hularious” stand-up comedy celebration.

Dia Dipasupil/Getty Images/Getty Images North America


hide caption

toggle caption

Advertisement

Dia Dipasupil/Getty Images/Getty Images North America

A note from Wild Card host Rachel Martin: I met Ilana Glazer exactly 10 years ago. Ilana and their co-star Abbi Jacobson were riding high on the success from their hilarious web series Broad City, which went on to become a hit TV show. I interviewed both of them, but I was just back from parental leave for my second kid and I have to tell you, I was so deeply exhausted at that moment.

What sticks with me from that interview to this day is Ilana’s energy. Like capital “E” energy. They were just bursting at the seams with ideas and stories and potential. And I share this because the tired new mothers out there often feel sort of alone and separate from the well-rested, creatively fertile people.

So when I saw Ilana Glazer’s new comedy special on Hulu, Human Magic, which is about the bonkers part of life that is early parenthood, part of me was selfishly glad that they have crossed the Rubicon and get how exhausting it all is. But then I watched Ilana’s special and I saw the same “big E” energy, even though they’re now the parent of a toddler, and I realized this person is just built this way.

Advertisement

From where I sit, it looks like Ilana Glazer’s default setting is energy and enthusiasm, and I’m going to add joy to the mix because whenever I watch them perform, I come out happier than I was an hour or two before. Which is why I wanted them to join me for a game of Wild Card.

Michelle Buteau and Ilana Glazer in a scene from the film Babes.

Michelle Buteau and Ilana Glazer in a scene from the film Babes.

Gwen Capistran/Neon


hide caption

toggle caption

Advertisement

Gwen Capistran/Neon

Michelle Buteau and Ilana Glazer in a scene from the film Babes.

Michelle Buteau and Ilana Glazer in a scene from the film Babes.

Gwen Capistran/Neon

This Wild Card interview has been edited for length and clarity. Host Rachel Martin asks guests randomly-selected questions from a deck of cards. Tap play above to listen to the full podcast, or read an excerpt below.

Question 1: What was your form of rebelling as a teenager? 

Advertisement

Ilana Glazer: I didn’t quite rebel very much as a child or a teenager. I was very good and I was focused on achieving. And my rebellion came later. Honestly, I was not secure in rebelling against my parents until a few years ago. L-O-L. I’m 37 years old.

It was really in the process of becoming a parent that I was like, “No. I am separate from my parents.”

But of course, I had some rebellion; it finally came in the form of having sex and smoking weed in my senior year of high school.

Rachel Martin: I mean, that’s pretty by-the-book rebellion.

Glazer: Yeah, standard – I would honestly say patriotic. So finally it came, as well as myself.

Advertisement

And then I feel like, really, becoming a parent has helped me feel like “I don’t care.” Do you know what I mean? I don’t care about being accepted. I care more about discovering who I am and what I need. I care about that more than crossing a line and being accepted back.

Martin: Wait, I need more on that. How does having a kid make you rebellious?

Glazer: Like, as long as I’m focused on fulfilling my needs and the needs of my family and child, then I can be unlikeable. I don’t have to fill the supportive role I was hoping to fill before.

I have found the limits of parenting really helpful to the rest of my life. It has forced me to draw lines that I never wanted to draw before. I want to be everything for everybody. And it’s so important to my health and my kid’s health. And it actually serves the world at large to give it the healthiest kid I can. So it’s been such a helpful reorganization.

Advertisement

Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacobson in a scene from Broad City.

YouTube

Question 2: How comfortable are you with being alone?

Glazer: I’m going to buck the binary with this answer and I’m going to say “increasingly.” Ooh — is your mind blown by all my therapy, Rachel Martin?

But that is the accurate answer — increasingly. But it’s tough. I really feed off people. I love people. I love intellectual intercourse. I love connecting and engaging, but I’m increasingly comfortable alone. And also, having such a high-needs, tiny individual needing me so often — it’s become more of a relief to be alone.

Advertisement

Martin: Yeah. Whereas before there may have been anxiety associated with that, and now it’s just in such scarce supply.

Glazer: Yeah.

Martin: I am someone who craves alone time.

Glazer: Yeah. Are you tall?

Advertisement

I don’t know. I think I’m 5’7″. My husband insists that I’m 5’6″ and 3/4.

Glazer: Oh, copy that. I don’t know if it’s changed, but in the early 2000s — I was a teenager at that time — the toxic messaging that I got was, for some reason I know, that modeling you have to be 5’7″. So you’re model height, babe.

Martin: [Laughs] Wait, is this just a random interstitial?

Glazer: I don’t know — I just feel like craving alone time and being tall, like I’m imagining you gliding through the streets of D.C. and like popping your collar and not wanting the bottom half of your face to be seen. I’m like, “Yeah she likes to be alone.” I’m like short and I’m like, [gremlin voice] “Hey everybody. Anybody want to hear a joke?” I don’t know I just wanted to picture it.

Martin: I want you to always think of me that way. It’s completely the opposite of how I am.

Advertisement
On Broad City, Abbi Jacobson (left) and Ilana Glazer play two single, 20-somethings living in New York City with dead-end jobs.

On Broad City, Abbi Jacobson (left) and Ilana Glazer play two single, 20-somethings living in New York City with dead-end jobs.

Walter Thompson/Courtesy of Comedy Central


hide caption

toggle caption

Walter Thompson/Courtesy of Comedy Central

Advertisement

On Broad City, Abbi Jacobson (left) and Ilana Glazer play two single, 20-somethings living in New York City with dead-end jobs.

On Broad City, Abbi Jacobson (left) and Ilana Glazer play two single, 20-somethings living in New York City with dead-end jobs.

Walter Thompson/Courtesy of Comedy Central

Question 3: Are you good at knowing when something should end?

Glazer: Yes, I am. With Broad City, we had signed our contract of seven seasons, and then we both came to the decision to end it after five — Abbi and I. Comedy Central was like, “Huh?” But yeah, that’s something I would say is elegant about me — knowing when things are at their end.

Martin: That’s an admirable quality because it’s not the same for everybody. And especially if you got something good going on and there are people telling you, “It’s good, just keep going,” and to have something tell you that it’s time to stop.

Advertisement

Glazer: Whew. Yeah. And like being able to trust that I am generative beyond this moment, whether it’s a creative project or anything — that I am secure, that I will keep generating new layers and like, do without thinking. That was something that the experience of pregnancy was so incredible. I’m such an overthinker and a planner. Creating a person without thinking about it was, like, “I’m not even thinking about this and my body knows what to do.” And when we get a scrape and, and the skin grows back. It’s just trusting in my own humanity.

Martin: Is it just a gut feeling on ending things? You’re just like, “I just feel we should stop?”

Glazer: Yeah. I was a drummer for many years. I miss it. I just loved percussion. For a time I was like, “I’m going to be an orchestra percussionist.” Can you imagine me on a timpani, like “dun duh-duh dun duh.” And I think it’s like a rhythm thing. You know what I mean? It’s a larger-scale rhythm thing of, “This is over,” you know, and accepting the loss too.

Lifestyle

It Started with a Midnight Swim and a Kiss Under the Stars

Published

on

It Started with a Midnight Swim and a Kiss Under the Stars

When Marian Sherry Lurio and Jonathan Buffington Nguyen met at a mutual friend’s wedding at Higgins Lake, Mich., in July 2022, both felt an immediate chemistry. As the evening progressed, they sat on the shore of the lake in Adirondack chairs under the stars, where they had their first kiss before joining others for a midnight plunge.

The two learned that the following weekend Ms. Lurio planned to attend a wedding in Philadelphia, where Mr. Nguyen lives, and before they had even exchanged numbers, they already had a first date on the books.

“I have a vivid memory of after we first met,” Mr. Nguyen said, “just feeling like I really better not screw this up.”

Before long, they were commuting between Philadelphia and New York City, where Ms. Lurio lives, spending weekends and the odd remote work days in one another’s apartments in Philadelphia and Manhattan. Within the first six months of dating, Mr. Nguyen joined Ms. Lurio’s family for Thanksgiving in Villanova, Pa., and, the following month, she met his family in Beavercreek, Ohio, at a surprise birthday party for Mr. Nguyen’s mother.

Ms. Lurio, 32, who grew up in Merion Station outside Philadelphia, works in investor relations administration at Flexpoint Ford, a private equity firm. She graduated from Dartmouth College with a bachelor’s degree in history and psychology.

Advertisement

Mr. Nguyen, also 32, was born in Knoxville, Tenn., and raised in Beavercreek, Ohio, from the age of 7. He graduated from Haverford College with a bachelor’s degree in political science and is now a director at Doyle Real Estate Advisors in Philadelphia.

Their long-distance relationship continued for the next few years. There were dates in Manhattan, vacations and beach trips to the Jersey Shore. They attended sporting events and discovered their shared appreciation of the 2003 film, “Love Actually.”

One evening, Mr. Nguyen recalled looking around Ms. Lurio’s small New York studio — strewed with clothes and the takeout meal they had ordered — and feeling “so comfortable and safe.” “I knew that this was something different than just sort of a fling,” he said.

It was an open question when they would move in together. In 2024, Ms. Lurio began the process of moving into Mr. Nguyen’s home in Philadelphia — even bringing her cat, Scott — but her plans changed midway when an opportunity arose to expand her role with her current employer.

Mr. Nguyen was on board with her decision. “It almost feels like stolen valor to call it ‘long distance,’ because it’s so easy from Philadelphia to New York,” Mr. Nguyen said. “The joke is, it’s easier to get to Philly from New York than to get to some parts of Brooklyn from Manhattan, right?”

Advertisement

In January 2025, Mr. Nguyen visited Ms. Lurio in New York with more up his sleeve than spending the weekend. Together they had discussed marriage and bespoke rings, but when Mr. Nguyen left Ms. Lurio and an unfinished cheese plate at the bar of the Chelsea Hotel that Friday evening, she had no idea what was coming next.

“I remember texting Jonathan,” Ms. Lurio said, bewildered: “‘You didn’t go toward the bathroom!’” When a Lobby Bar server came and asked her to come outside, Ms. Lurio still didn’t realize what was happening until she was standing in the hallway, where Mr. Nguyen stood recreating a key moment from the film “Love Actually,” in which one character silently professes his love for another in writing by flashing a series of cue cards. There, in the storied Chelsea Hotel hallway still festooned with Christmas decorations, Mr. Nguyen shared his last card that said, “Will you marry me?”

They wed on April 11 in front of 200 guests at the Pump House, a covered space on the banks of Philadelphia’s Schuylkill River. Mr. Nguyen’s sister, the Rev. Elizabeth Nguyen, who is ordained through the Unitarian Universalist Association, officiated.

Although formal attire was suggested, Ms. Lurio said that the ceremony was “pretty casual.” She and Jonathan got ready together, and their families served as their wedding parties.

“I said I wanted a five-minute wedding,” Ms. Lurio recalled, though the ceremony ended up lasting a little longer than that. During the ceremony, Ms. Nguyen read a homily and jokingly added that guests should not ask the bride and groom about their living arrangements, which will remain separate for the foreseeable future.

Advertisement

While watching Ms. Lurio walk down the aisle, flanked by her parents, Mr. Nguyen said he remembered feeling at once grounded in the moment and also a sense of dazed joy: “Like, is this real? I felt very lucky in that moment — and also just excited for the party to start!”

Continue Reading

Lifestyle

L.A. Affairs: I loved someone who felt he couldn’t be fully seen with me

Published

on

L.A. Affairs: I loved someone who felt he couldn’t be fully seen with me

He always texted when he was outside. No call, no knock. It was just a message and then the soft sound of my door opening. He moved like someone practiced in disappearing.

His name meant “complete” in Arabic, which is what I felt when we were together.

I met him the way you meet most things that matter in Los Angeles — without intending to. In our senior year at a college in eastern L.A. County, we were introduced through mutual friends, then thrown together by the particular gravity of people who recognized something in each other. He was a Muslim medical student, conservative and careful and funny in the dry, precise way of someone who has always had to choose his words. I was loud where he was quiet, messy where he was disciplined. I was out. He was not.

I understood, or thought I did. I thought that I couldn’t get hurt if I was completely conscious throughout the endeavor. Los Angeles has a way of making you feel like the whole world shares your freedoms — until you realize the city is enormous, and not all of it belongs to you in the same way.

Advertisement

For months, our world was confined to my apartment. He would slip in after dark, and we’d stay up late talking about his family in Iran, classical music and the particular pressure of being the son someone sacrificed everything to bring here. He told me things he said he’d never told anyone, and I believed him.

The orange glow from my Nesso lamp lit his face while the indigo sky pressed against the window behind him. In our small little world, we were safe. Outside was another matter.

On our first real date, I took him to the L.A. Phil’s “An Evening of Film & Music: From Mexico to Hollywood” program. I told him they were cheap seats even though they were the first row on the terrace. He was thrilled in the way only someone who doesn’t expect to be delighted actually gets delighted — fully, without guarding it. I put my arm around his shoulders. At some point, I shifted and moved it, and he nudged it back. He was OK with PDA here.

I remember thinking that wealth is a great barrier to harm and then feeling silly for extrapolating my own experience once again. Inside Walt Disney Concert Hall, we were just two people in love with the same music.

Outside was still another matter.

Advertisement

In February, on Valentine’s Day, he took me to a Yemeni restaurant in Anaheim. We hovered over saffron tea surrounded by other young Southern Californians, and we looked like friends. Before we went in, we sat in the parking lot of the strip mall — signs in Arabic advertising bread, coffee, halal meats, the Little Arabia District — hand in hand. I leaned over to kiss him.

“Not here,” he said. His eyes shifted furtively. “Someone might see.”

I understood, or told myself I did, but I was saddened. Later, after the kind of reflection that only arrives in the wreckage, I would understand something harder: I had been unconsciously asking him to choose, over and over, between the people he loved and the person he loved. I had a long pattern of choosing unavailable men, telling myself it was because I could handle the complexity. The truth was more embarrassing. I thought that if someone like him chose me anyway — chose me over the weight of societal expectations — it would mean I was worth choosing. It took me a long time to see how unfair that was to him and to me.

We went to the Norton Simon Museum together in November, on the kind of gray Pasadena day when the 210 Freeway roars in the background like white noise. He studied for the MCAT while I wrote a paper on Persian rugs. In between practice problems, he translated ancient Arabic scripts for me. I thought, “We make a good team.” Afterward, we walked through the galleries and he didn’t let go of my arm.

That was the version of us I kept returning to — when the ending came during Ramadan. It arrived as a spiritual reflection of my own. I texted: “Does this end at graduation — whatever we are doing?”

Advertisement

He thought I meant Ramadan. I did not mean Ramadan.

“I care about you,” he wrote, “but I don’t want you to think this could work out to anything more than just dating. I mean, of course, I’ve fantasized about marrying you. If I could live my life the way I wanted, of course I would continue. I’m just sad it’s not in this lifetime.”

I was in Mexico City when these texts were exchanged. That night I flew to Oaxaca to clear my head and then, after less than 24 hours, flew back to L.A. No amount of vacation would allow me to process what had just happened, so I threw myself back into work.

My therapist told me to use the conjunction “and” instead of “but.” It happened, and I am changed. The harm I caused and the love I felt. The beauty of what we made and the impossibility of where it could go. She gave me a knowing smile when I asked if it would stay with me forever. She didn’t answer, which was the answer.

I think about the freeways now, the way Joan Didion called them our only secular communion. When you’re on the ground in Los Angeles, the world narrows to the few blocks around you. Get on the freeway and you understand the whole body of the city at once: the arteries, the pulse, the scale of the thing.

Advertisement

You understand that you are a single cell in something enormous and moving. It is all out of your control. I am in a lane. The lane shaped how I drive. He was simply in a different lane, and his lane shaped him, and those two facts can coexist without either of us being the villain of the sad story.

He came like a secret in the night, and he left the same way. What we made in between was real and complicated and mine to hold forever, hoping we find each other in the next life.

The author lives in Los Angeles.

L.A. Affairs chronicles the search for romantic love in all its glorious expressions in the L.A. area, and we want to hear your true story. We pay $400 for a published essay. Email LAAffairs@latimes.com. You can find submission guidelines here. You can find past columns here.

Advertisement
Continue Reading

Lifestyle

The Nerve Center of This Art Fair Isn’t Painting. It’s Couture.

Published

on

The Nerve Center of This Art Fair Isn’t Painting. It’s Couture.

The art industry is increasingly shaped by artists’ and art businesses’ shared realization that they are locked in a fierce struggle for sustained attention — against each other, and against the rest of the overstimulated, always-online world. A major New York art fair aims to win this competition next month by knocking down the increasingly shaky walls between contemporary art and fashion.

When visitors enter the Independent art fair on May 14, they will almost immediately encounter its open-plan centerpiece: an installation of recent couture looks from Comme des Garçons. It will be the first New York solo presentation of works by Rei Kawakubo, the brand’s founder and mastermind, since a lauded 2017 survey exhibition at the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute.

Art fairs have often been front and center in the industry’s 21st-century quest to capture mindshare. But too many displays have pierced the zeitgeist with six-figure spectacles, like Maurizio Cattelan’s duct-taped banana and Beeple’s robot dogs. Curating Independent around Comme des Garçons comes from the conviction that a different kind of iconoclasm can rise to the top of New York’s spring art scrum.

Elizabeth Dee, the founder and creative director of Independent, said that making Kawakubo’s work the “nerve center” of this year’s edition was a “statement of purpose” for the fair’s evolution. After several years at the compact Spring Studios in TriBeCa, Independent will more than double its square footage by moving to Pier 36 at South Street, on the East River. Dee has narrowed the fair’s exhibitor list, to 76, from 83 dealers in 2025, and reduced booth fees to encourage a focus on single artists making bold propositions.

“Rei’s work has been pivotal to thinking about how my work as a curator, gallerist and art fair can push boundaries, especially during this extraordinary move toward corporatization and monoculture in the art world in the last 20 years,” Dee said.

Advertisement

Kawakubo’s designs have been challenging norms since her brand’s first Paris runway show in 1981, but her work over the last 13 years on what she calls “objects for the body” has blurred borders between high fashion and wearable sculpture.

The Comme des Garçons presentation at Independent will feature 20 looks from autumn-winter 2020 to spring-summer 2025. Forgoing the runway, Kawakubo is installing her non-clothing inside structures made from rebar and colored plastic joinery.

Adrian Joffe, the president of both Comme des Garçons International and the curated retailer Dover Street Market International (and who is also Kawakubo’s husband), said in an interview that Kawakubo’s intention was to create a sculptural installation divorced from chronology and fashion — “a thing made new again.”

Every look at Independent was made in an edition of three or fewer, but only one of each will be for sale on-site. Prices will be about $9,000 to $30,000. Comme des Garçons will retain 100 percent of the sales.

Asked why she was interested in exhibiting at Independent, the famously elusive Kawakubo said via email, “The body of work has never been shown together, and this is the first presentation in New York in almost 10 years.” Joffe added a broader philosophical motivation. “We’ve never done it before; it was new,” he said. Also essential was the fair’s willingness to embrace Kawakubo’s vision for the installation rather than a standard fair booth.

Advertisement

Kawakubo began consistently engaging with fine art decades before such crossovers became commonplace. Since 1989, she has invited a steady stream of contemporary artists to create installations in Comme des Garçons’s Tokyo flagship store. The ’90s brought collaborations with the artist Cindy Sherman and performance pioneer Merce Cunningham, among others.

More cross-disciplinary projects followed, including limited-release direct mailers for Comme des Garçons. Kawakubo designs each from documentation of works provided by an artist or art collective.

The display at Independent reopens the debate about Kawakubo’s proper place on the continuum between artist and designer. But the issue is already settled for celebrated artists who have collaborated with her.

“I totally think of Rei as an artist in the truest sense,” Sherman said by email. “Her work questions what everyone else takes for granted as being flattering to a body, questions what female bodies are expected to look like and who they’re catering to.”

Ai Weiwei, the subject of a 2010 Comme des Garçons direct mailer, agreed that Kawakubo “is, in essence, an artist.” Unlike designers who “pursue a sense of form,” he added, “her design and creation are oriented toward attitude” — specifically, an attitude of “rebellion.”

Advertisement

Also taking this position is “Costume Art,” the spring exhibition at the Costume Institute. Opening May 10, the show pairs individual works from multiple designers — including Comme des Garçons — with artworks from the Met’s holdings to advance the argument made by the dress code for this year’s Met gala: “Fashion is art.”

True to form, Kawakubo sometimes opts for a third way.

“Rei has often said she’s not a designer, she’s not an artist,” Joffe said. “She is a storyteller.”

Now to find out whether an art fair sparks the drama, dialogue and attention its authors want.

Advertisement
Continue Reading
Advertisement

Trending