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'1980s middle school slow dance songs' was the playlist I didn't know I needed

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'1980s middle school slow dance songs' was the playlist I didn't know I needed

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It started with the fact that I really need to stick to a budget, and it ended with “Never Surrender” by Corey Hart.

I was going through a major review of spending and savings this week, just sitting in the living room on my laptop, with the dog snoozing on his bed because it’s been much too cold to go outside. It was too quiet in the house for a tedious bout of record-keeping. I’d recently resolved an issue with my satellite radio subscription, so it was at the top of my mind, and I went to look at stations. I’ve learned from riding a Peloton bike that sometimes I will thrive in ’80s-based music environments (I was born in 1970), so I went in that direction. One channel was called 80s Chillpill.

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Andrew Ridgeley and George Michael of pop duo Wham! perform in London in November 1983.

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Andrew Ridgeley and George Michael of pop duo Wham! perform in London in November 1983.

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I would describe its vibe as “slow songs for an eighth-grade dance,” but that’s only because I was in eighth grade at about the right time. “Can’t Fight This Feeling” by REO Speedwagon. “Careless Whisper” by Wham!. “Holding Back the Years” by Simply Red. “Lost in Love” by Air Supply. That Kenny G song that I never had any idea was called “Songbird.” “Glory of Love” by Peter Cetera, from The Karate Kid Part II, which probably constitutes the greatest cultural footprint of The Karate Kid Part II. The UB40 cover of “Red Red Wine.” More than one Kenny Rogers duet: “Islands in the Stream” with Dolly Parton and “We’ve Got Tonight” with Sheena Easton. (If you are from Philadelphia, I would describe the whole thing as “the softer side of WSTW,” which is a pretty sick burn — take my word for it.)

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I don’t think I owned any of these records or, as they would have actually been, cassettes. (I may have owned the Air Supply one — sue me.) Some I liked and some I didn’t, but there’s not one that I’d ever have mentioned if asked to list my favorite songs of the 1980s. And yet, the nostalgia that kicked in was so particular. It’s a consequence of radio listening, I think; at that time, I certainly spent some time listening to music that I owned, but that was a very limited library, so the rest of the time, I listened to the radio. (It wasn’t until probably the middle of the decade that watching MTV began to serve this same function.)

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It didn’t really matter whether I liked “Can’t Fight This Feeling” or not; I listened to it over and over and over, much as people do now with their very favorite songs. Top 40 was relentless (and, you’ll notice, rather white), so if that was the direction you went, as it was for me, you heard what you heard and you didn’t customize the experience. And, for the record, radio was more genuinely local; this was before the entire structure changed in the 1990s.

I wonder sometimes what the current version of this kind of nostalgia is. Obviously, people who are now the age that I was then will have these pangs about something, but it can be hard to know what. It’s not as if it’s always Top 40 songs for me. The other week, I was singing to myself a jingle from the Van Scoy jewelry stores. It dates back to at least the early ’80s, and it starts, “I’m a lucky girl, hooray, oh boy!” Because, of course, she has a diamond from Van Scoy. I always found this music extremely annoying, but now, if you sing it, I will fully belt along. (And I am not alone. I had no idea, but this delighted me.)

It’s the same thing with the music from Action News in Philadelphia. “Move closer to your world, my friend! Take a little bit of tiiiiiime!” Back then, was this music important to me? Of course not; it was the theme song to the news. But now, it seems that it’s one of the most beloved bits of cultural currency from people who grew up around Philly at the time.

It makes me suspect that what we tend to refer to as nostalgia, which is officially defined as something along the lines of a painful longing for a time in the past, is really two things. One is a longing for the things we loved themselves: the vacation spots we went to, the friends’ houses we played at, the book series we devoured, the best meals we ate at home with our families. But the other is more of a gut-punch reaction to hearing (or seeing or smelling) something that is bound up with a segment of our lives — here, my adolescence and teenager-hood, the development of my adult personality, the development of my taste, the time when I worried less about the world in spite of all the good reasons to have done so.

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Perhaps that’s the appeal of 80s Chillpill. Perhaps because I was rarely hearing these songs by choice, they are stapled indifferently to the widest variety of memories: being sad, happy, bored, frantic, lonely, with friends, in the car, in my room, studying, reading, hanging out. Doing things that were meaningless, but doing them in good company.

I remember one of my friends at a slumber party lying across her bed on her back so her head hung upside down, looking at a poster on her wall, and saying, “Did you know that Duran Duran spelled backwards is Narud Narud?” My brain has held tightly to that; its insignificance, in and of itself, is irrelevant. I’m not remembering Narud Narud; I’m remembering the friends, the slumber party. In the same way, when a switch inside me flips during “Never Surrender,” I’m not having a painful longing for the song. I’m having a painful longing for versions of myself and my life — and all the people in it — that don’t exist anymore.

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This piece also appeared in NPR’s Pop Culture Happy Hour newsletter. Sign up for the newsletter so you don’t miss the next one, plus get weekly recommendations about what’s making us happy.

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‘Wait Wait’ for June 27, 2026: With Not My Job guest Stephen Malkmus

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‘Wait Wait’ for June 27, 2026: With Not My Job guest Stephen Malkmus

Stephen Malkmus & the Jicks perform onstage during day two of the Boston Calling Music Festival at Boston City Hall Plaza on September 26, 2015 in Boston, Massachusetts. (Photo by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images)

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This week’s show was recorded in Chicago with host Peter Sagal, judge and scorekeeper Alzo Slade, Not My Job guest Stephen Malkmus and panelists Emmy Blotnick, Joyelle Nicole Johnson, and Gianmarco Soresi. Click the audio link above to hear the whole show.

Who’s Alzo This Time

Pool Problems; Don’t Forget to Hydrate; The Rise of Hot Podium Guy

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Panel Questions

TSA Gets A Dressing Down

Bluff The Listener

Our panelists tell three stories about game shows in the news, only one of which is true.

Not My Job: Stephen Malmus, lead singer and guitarist for Pavement, answers our questions about road construction

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Indie rock legend and founder of Pavement, Stephen Malkmus, joins us to play a game called, “Pavement repairs are underway!” Three questions about road construction.

Panel Questions

The Battle Over A Home Sale; The Best Three Words To Get Over A Loss and Out of a Meeting?; A New Job in the Dating World

Limericks

Alzo Slade reads three news-related limericks: Good News For Gym Slobs; Cruisin’ For A Tattooin’; Fringe Food Benefits

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Lightning Fill In The Blank

All the news we couldn’t fit anywhere else

Predictions

Our panelists predict what will find after the reflecting pool is emptied

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He turned his one-bedroom West Hollywood apartment into an entertainer’s paradise

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He turned his one-bedroom West Hollywood apartment into an entertainer’s paradise

When Julio Miranda-Martin began his apartment search, he had one nonnegotiable: He wanted a dedicated dining room to entertain his friends. He was scouring Zillow in 2025 when a listing for a railroad-style, one-bedroom on the edge of West Hollywood came up that included the requisite dining room. It was also walking distance to his part-time job as a marketing coordinator at furniture store Lawson-Fenning. More importantly, at $2,500 a month it was within his budget.

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Miranda-Martin met with his landlord the same day he found the listing, who told him he looks like his son. Feeling like finding this 950-square-foot apartment was kismet, Miranda-Martin signed the lease and set about creating a sophisticated and color-saturated sanctuary. Miranda-Martin decided he needed to make two major investments before moving in: painting the walls and changing the lighting. “I was finally able to move into a place that I actually like, not just out of necessity. I was like, let’s make it feel like my own,” says Miranda-Martin, who refers to the space as his “living canvas.”

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The apartment is on the second floor of a fourplex, up a windowless staircase. Miranda-Martin embraced the lack of light and painted it a high-gloss crimson. Without natural light, he hard-wired sconces found on Facebook Marketplace that recall ornamental 18th century candlesticks. They cast a dim but moody light throughout the staircase, ending with an ornate mirror at the top. The mirror shows a glimpse of the apartment’s interior in its reflection when Miranda-Martin opens the door. “Every time people walk in, especially at night, it’s such a dramatic entry,” he explains. “It’s very cinematic,” agrees friend and co-worker Kristin Reeder, who is often a guest at his soirees, “like something from ‘Eyes Wide Shut.’ ”

1 Julio Miranda-Martin's apartment decor starts in the bold staircase that leads to his door.

2 A mirror at the top of the staircase offers extra depth.

3 Julio Miranda-Martin fills the bookshelf in his dining room with books and treasures.

1. Julio Miranda-Martin’s apartment decor starts in the bold staircase that leads to his door. 2. A mirror at the top of the staircase offers extra depth. 3. Julio Miranda-Martin fills the bookshelf in his dining room with books and treasures.

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In contrast, the living room offers a calmer palette of sky blues and earthy browns. Miranda-Martin tends to choose paint colors based on the light. The living room, with abundant west-facing windows brings in soft, bright light. Miranda-Martin painted it with Benjamin Moore’s Navajo, a flat white, as a backdrop to the softer hues of the furniture he designed at his furniture and lighting company, Studio MM. “It adds a stillness,” he says.

The room is anchored by a large velvet couch in a rich brown. The modular couch is anchored on each side with Art-Deco influenced side tables, lamps and light blue slipper chairs he designed, setting up a cozy tableau for hosting his friends. Pale pink cushioned ottomans provide additional seating that can easily be moved around the room to accommodate additional guests.

A velvet couch acts as a statement piece in the apartment living room.

A velvet couch acts as a statement piece in the apartment living room.

(Etienne Laurent/For the Times)

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French doors separate the living room from the dining room. The chartreuse-infused dining room returns to a more dramatic colorway. With less natural light, Miranda-Martin wanted to play up the idea of dining-room-as-treehouse, reflecting the second-floor foliage visible from the small windows. Rather than trying to brighten the room, he leaned into the moodiness by buying inexpensive, USB battery-powered spotlights that are mounted on the ceiling with magnets. Taking an alcohol marker, he tinted the lights a soft amber, allowing him to highlight the art in the room without adding harsh overhead lighting.

The dining room is meant to reflect the foliage just outside the window.

The dining room is meant to reflect the foliage just outside the window.

(Etienne Laurent/For the Times)

A shell-adorned mirror anchors the wall facing the windows and built-in shelving, making the room feel larger. Miranda-Martin sourced two shell-shaped sconces that flank the mirror at an estate sale in San Francisco. Most of the art and home decor comes from Facebook Marketplace and Craigslist, or is thrifted from local stores. Estate sales are also a source, though Miranda-Martin feels the rising popularity of these sales in Los Angeles has led to an increase in pricing. “They’ve gotten so over the top now in L.A. [They’re] super expensive. You’re not really gonna find a deal,” he laments, citing the armed security checking bags recently at some of the hottest estate sales.

In addition to changing the lighting and painting the walls, Miranda-Martin prioritized the window treatments, with pinch pleat curtains from Ikea. “Drapery can just make a space feel super elevated,” he advises. He prefers a mix of new and vintage decor, balancing both for an eclectic but deeply personal look to his home. He tries not to overthink his aesthetic choices. “I think it’s very instinctual. I’m not really thinking, ‘Is this in good taste or is this going to be weird?,’ ” he says.

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Down the hall, the bedroom’s mostly white design theme returns to a more serene composition, providing a quiet sanctuary. Miranda-Martin removed the headboard from his bed, making it seem like it’s floating between the night tables he designed. “Everything feels sort of streamlined and smooth,” says Miranda-Martin. Like the living room, the bedroom is painted the same flat white but the quality of the eastern light filtering into the bedroom casts a buttery glow.

1 Ceramics fill inset shelves in the kitchen.

2 A glass case in the apartment corridor between the dining room and the bedroom.

3 With its lighter decor, the bedroom was meant to be a sanctuary.

1. Ceramics fill inset shelves in the kitchen. 2. A glass case in the apartment corridor between the dining room and the bedroom. 3. With its lighter decor, the bedroom was meant to be a sanctuary.

The small kitchen retains its midcentury charm, but open shelving above the counter provides an airier, more contemporary cupboard to show off Miranda-Martin’s dish and glassware collection. The easier access comes in handy when he’s entertaining. His apartment is the perfect pre-game space for him and his friends before a night on the town. He tries to make sure he pre-batches cocktails before his guests arrive.

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He also likes to host more elaborate dinner parties and game nights. He attributes his love of entertaining to his upbringing as an only child in Downey. “I like hosting because I enjoy being around more people than when I was growing up,” explains Miranda-Martin. His goal, ultimately, is to bring together disparate groups of people from different spheres in a space everyone will feel comfortable in. Dinner parties at Miranda-Martin’s “feel like an event,” says Reeder. “It’s something you’re excited for and you want to get dressed up for.”

“I’m kind of going through a phase right now where I need to be around people,” admits Miranda-Martin. “I think I just hate being alone.”

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Amateurs now conduct most weddings. Here is some basic advice

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Amateurs now conduct most weddings. Here is some basic advice

Ryan Benk and Ryan Ricciardi are married by their friend Cesar Garcia this year.

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Christopher Di Ruggiero

Gone is the traditional wedding officiated only by a rabbi, a priest, an imam, a pastor or an archbishop.

In a recent survey by the wedding website The Knot, 67% of couples are getting married by a friend. The share has skyrocketed since 2009, when The Knot started tracking who officiates weddings. That year, 27% of couples used a friend for their ceremony.

“Gen Z culture is really infiltrating the wedding industry, and they just do not do things in a standard, traditional way,” said Esther Lee, The Knot’s editorial director.

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“They are scrutinizing every aspect of the wedding day in a sense of ‘How do I make this speak to my story?’” she said.

As people swap traditional vows for more personalized weddings, friends and family are filling many more roles beyond just bridesmaids and groomsmen. The wedding officiant is a really big one.

If you’re asked to perform a wedding for a couple, “take the role seriously,” Lee suggested. “Put a lot of hours and thought into how the ceremony will go.”

An officiant with a close tie to a marrying couple can bring a beautiful intimacy to the ceremony. But Lee warned, “Don’t wing it. You can’t wing it.”

First of all, weddings have a lot of stage directions. And the officiant is in charge of telling everyone in the congregation what to do.

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“Part of the proceedings is having everyone be seated at a certain time,” said Shelby Wax, a contributing weddings editor at Vogue. She would know. “I’ve been at a wedding where we have stood up too long because an officiant forgot to say that.”

Wax suggested that officiants keep the proceedings moving without making too many jokes or doing anything to draw attention to themselves and away from the couple.

Ask the couple ahead of time for their vision of the ceremony, and find out some of the special things that draw them together and make them want to commit to marriage. And be sure to find out how long they want the ceremony to last.

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